It was on the bus when I realized I could get arrested for this. I could be sent to prison, where I would get beat worse than I was now. I stared at my little half sister, seeing her lick the ice cream cone shed wanted. We were on the bus now. It was half past six and Dad would be starting to worry. Or maybe hed be glad that I was gone. His problem child--the son who could never do anything.
Craig?
Yeah, Ange? I looked down at my sister and hugged her. Angie. My last link to Mom. I couldnt see Mom in my mind so well, not anymore you know. When I looked at Angie I got some of it back. The same dark curls, the same hazel eyes. They even had the same smile.
Where are we going again?
Her voice was innocence. It was sweet and childish and I felt this lump in my throat. I tried to swallow it back but it was stuck there.
British Columbia. I said. Its where you, me and Mom went. You were a baby so you dont remember.
And Daddy.
Right. I had to get her mind off Joey. She couldnt start thinking about that. If she did shed want him to come to. By the time Joey wised up wed be gone. Nobody would be the wiser and Angie and I could have a new life. Id be more than her older brother, Id be her dad. Wed be a family.
What are we going to do in British Columbia, Craig? Angie asked. Her ice cream was melting in pools down her arm. I took a napkin and dabbed it.
Whatever we want! I put false cheer in my voice, happy tidings. Yeah, wed do whatever we wanted to. I had over 300 dollars in my pocket. If we didnt blow it soon wed be fine.
The bus rolled along for hours. I started to feel nervous. I kept thinking someone would know by now and theyd make the bus stop. All these people would know I kidnapped my little sister. I was a bad kid, like my dad said.
Dad.
Oh god.
It would be worse than with the belt. Hed have me with the golf clubs and this time it would hurt so much more. Thered be No. I wasnt going to think of it. Hours were passing and Angie started to fuss.
When are we gonna be there? She asked, and it was maybe her tenth or eleventh time asking that.
Soon. I had to say soon because B.C. was a long ways away. I hoped she bought it. I picked at my leather jacket, at the little pink chain Angie had on her jeans. I felt my foot bounce up and down.
Craig. Angies whining was becoming more insistent. I wanna go home. Daddy can take us to British Columbia. We can go to the Zoo, and out to eat. But I wanna go home. Hell miss me.
You cant go home. I felt something sharp in my stomach, pressing. What would she do now? Would she throw a fit? Id never seen Angie throw a fit and dreaded it. I could feel sweat pool in the corner of my face. I could feel it slowly drip down.
Why not? Her little face crumpled up. I could see the tears preparing. I had toI had to think of something.
I--we-- I was stuttering. Angie was starting to sniffle. She was getting louder in her complaints of home, of Daddy coming to get us.
Angie, please be quiet. Were almost there. I whispered. I ran my hair over her shiny curls. Just like Moms. It even smelled the same. I bet Joey bought her Moms shampoo. What was I doing? I was kidnapping my little half sister and taking her to British Columbia?
It was just for an outing. I closed my eyes as Angie started up again. I wanna go home, Craig. She was relentless, demanding. She was starting to get on my nerves and I didnt like that feeling.
We are. I assured her. I was hoping to divert her. Were going home. To our new home.
Will Daddy be there? Angie looked at me with trust. I had to look at my shoes as I said the lie.
Sure. I nodded, plastic smile on my face. Sure he will be there.
She seemed satisfied for the moment. It was growing dark. I had passed a small crisis. In my head I imagined what was going on now. Joey would be worried. Hed call Emma and maybe Emma would say something to give it away--she was like that. Emma wanted to help the world.
Dad. Dad would be furious with me. But he wasnt like other dads. He wouldnt rant and rave and yell at me in front of anyone. He wouldnt even do it when we were alone. The deadly silence between us would build and build. The anger would come out in his fists. It would turn into bruises on my back, my chest.
Around dark we arrived in British Columbia. A few people got off with us. They collected their bags and Angie watched them for a moment, turning to me. Craig, do we have bags too?
Uh--no, Ange. But dont worry. If you need something Ill buy it for you.
What was I doing? It was almost eleven o clock on a Tuesday night. I should be at home. I should be studying for Simpsons Media Immersion lesson, opening my own laptop to make a website. I was a screw up. I walked along with Angie holding onto my hand. She was doing enough talking for the both of us.
Craaaaig. Angie whined again, pulling on the sleeve of my shirt. Im hungry.
I almost never ate. Food was something that had to be done, and ok. Whatever. If it was in front of me Id try to eat it. Well find a restaurant ok? I asked her. Well eat Pizzawhatever you want.
Chinese food. Angie piped up. We had to find something. And I did find something. A little Chinese diner. They all spoke Chinese and not a word of English. Something like homesickness welled up in me, but Angie was happy. I finally got Eggrolls out of one of the waitresses and asked if I could use their phone. They werent happy, but they handed it over to me.
I dialed the number with shaking hands. What was I doing, bringing my half sister here? Where was my mind?
Hello? Joey sounded frantic. I guess hed been out of his mind.
Joey? I rubbed at a rough spot on my elbow. Its me, Craig. Angies with me. Were in British Columbia.