Disclaimer: (I can't believe I'm doing one of these) Ahem. OHSHC is NOT mine. If it was, the twins and Hunny would rule the world and Tamaki would be dead. Or at least, almost dead. Oh, and before I forget, the song "I write sins, not tragedies" (did I write that right?) is also not mine. I'm pretty sure it's Panic! at the Disco's.

Italics mean strong thoughts or flashbacks (unless obviously otherwise.)

-Storm's PoV-

Another (miraculously) sunny day. It got boring with all these sunny days. Why couldn't it be a rainy day once, just once? Ok, now I'm talking to myself again. Sigh. I've got to stop doing this.

Why am I standing outside this gigantic school anyway?

Oh, yeah, because of my uncle*cough*aunt*cough* and my extremely high IQ. It's so high, I'm considered one of the smartest teenagers in Asia. Scary. Maybe that's why I talk/think to myself so much?

Don't get me wrong. Having a high IQ doesn't mean that you're immediately a geek or something. It just means that you're smarter than normal people. I mean, I still listen to pop and swear and stuff like that. I don't get why people think that if you're a genius, you've got to be polite and listen to classical. *shiver* Well after the old Okama pleaded with me saying that 'his little Haruhi' –or something like that- was getting molested and continuously pestered by a bunch of guys, I gave in and came to this school. I mean, she is my favourite cousin. My only cousin.

And because I can't actually afford the uniform, I'm wearing what I usually wear. A black windbreaker over a grey tee and some jeans. Oh, and my black sneakers. My backpack is hanging over one shoulder (bad for my posture, I know), with my iPod, phone, laptop, lunch and SilverSkull™ stationery in it. Basically, I've got everything I need. I hope.

-Fast forward to the classroom!-

"Now then, I'd like to introduce you to a new student. Storm is currently outside the-"

"What kind of a name is Storm?" I heard someone interrupt. I agree. What was my father thinking when he named me anyway?

"-classroom." Sensei continued, as if nothing had happened. "Be nice."

I guess this is my cue. I push the door to 1-A open and suddenly, I hear about twenty-six gasps and the 'thud' sound of people fainting too. What the heck? Why is there a heart background and – "Stormy-sama, I LOVE YOU!!! Kyaa!!!" Stormy-what!? They can't be serious right? I just got here! I'M A FUCKING GIRL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! I mean my hair's long and- Oh right I forgot about my uncle's 'catch.'

To last week's phone call

"I want to tell you, though, that if you attend this school, there is a catch. You must be a boy."

"What do you mean, I have to be a boy?"

"Well... Haruhi'sactuallyinahostclubandtheyaretheonespesteringhersoallIneedyoutodoistogetintothehostclubandgetHaruhioutofthere!"

"Uncle, I'm a genius and even I don't get what you just said."

"-deep breath- I said that Haruhi's actually in a host club and they-the club members- are the ones pestering her, so all you need to do is to get into it and get her out of it!"

"Um... That doesn't actually make sense but I guess I'll be a boy... For now."

"Sankyuu so much my Stormy darling!"

"...Well, since I don't live in that area, I'll be renting an apartment, right?"

"Of course!"

"What's with all the exclamation marks?"

"..."

"Anyway, because I'm renting, I'll need someone to pay the rent..."

I paused, hoping he would catch on.

"Oh of course I - Whaaat!?"

-Back to the present-

So basically, I got my hair cut into one of those 'emo' styles (no, seriously, the catalogue actually called it 'The Emo Boy Look') and wrapped my almost-but-not-quite invisible breasts. I found an apartment that was just big enough for me and now I'm probably going to get raped by someone of the same gender. What a life.

"Now, now girls, leave Storm-sama alone." Thank you sensei! Just wait...What did the sensei just call me!? Please Lord, have mercy on this genius! "Now Storm-sam--, I mean Storm-san, would you care to introduce yourself?" Not like I have a choice...

"Hey, I'm Storm and I'm 15. Please take care of me from now on." As I said those words internally cringed. But it seemed to have the right effect on the girls. They were all kyaa-ing and I heard some more thuds that were completely ignored by my homeroom teacher. I gave them a smile and started to walk to the only spare desk in the room when I felt the sensei hold me back.

"Wait Storm-san. There are some students who want to ask you some questions." I sighed a heavy sigh in my head.

"Okay, give me your worst." I said. The students all looked at me weirdly. It's as if they don't use those words of something.

A girl spoke. "Uh, Storm san, what's your last name? You only mentioned your first. Or is it Storm your last name?" I smiled at this before replying (I swear a heard more thuds. This is creeping me out. I mean, how many girls are in this class anyway?)

"Don't worry, Storm's my first name. My last name is Kris." Now low murmurs and whispers and squeals started. Stuff like 'Oh my gosh, even his last name is cool' and 'He should so go in the Host Club with that kind of name' were particularly loud. The last one didn't even make any sense.

Now a guy asked the question. "Kris-san," he said, making use of the newly acquired knowledge of my last name. It sounded really weird with –san at the end. "We all know you got in by scholarship. Could you please tell us how high your IQ is to be able to do so?" Damn! I was hoping to avoid this question. Oh well. They're not gonna believe me anyway.

I replied "The last time I got it tested, they said it was a nice 280."

More gasps. And thuds. This is gonna be a long, long day.

-To Lunch! (This authoress is lazy, isn't she?)-

My prediction is so correct. It feels as if I've been here all week and haven't gone home once. But it's only lunch. Thank the Lord that all the girls are buying lunch from the cafeteria while I bought mine from the convenience store this morning. I haven't fully settled into my apartment yet. Just a few boxes to go, but one of those boxes is the refrigerator. Nice, eh?

"I chime in with a, 'haven't you people ever heard of, closing the goddamn door?' No, it's much better than facing these kinds of things, with a sense of-"

I quickly accepted the call before anymore of the song got out. No, it wasn't rude or anything, but it would probably tell the girls that there was still someone in 1-A. I looked at the caller ID and... I hung up. I had made it clear to him that he wasn't allowed to call. So why did he do so now?

How did you like it? Was it bad for a first try? I haven't told you Storm's eye colour yet, have I? (Please note that SilverSkull™ is NOT a real brand. Unless it is. Now I've gotten myself confused...)

Cynaide