They breached the door on his command, entering with machine like efficiency. They methodically swept room by room moving in crisp harmony down the hallway until they reached their objective. He hesitated a second before giving the Preach a nod and turning away from resulting focused explosion. He quickly turned back entering the room behind Preach and McG who were already in motion. Preach swept all corners of the room, McG had eyes only for Jaz heading straight to her side.
Jaz sat limply in a chair in the middle of the room, tightly bound and secured. Her head had raised slowly when they entered but she disturbingly hadn't acknowledged their presence or given any indication of recognition.
McG and Preach worked on the ropes but Dalton was frozen, eyes locked on the syringes discarded on the floor around her. Drawn unwillingly to her rolled up sleeves and the visible track marks there. The sudden sinking in his gut felt like someone had just punched him as the pieces clicked together. McG continued to try and get a response from the sniper before giving up and gathering her into his arms in preparation to leave. He passed by Dalton who tried not to flinch as her dull gaze swept over him.
A rush of anger roused him from his stupor and he took it out on the nearest thing he could find, kicking the chair across the room taking minimal satisfaction when it forcefully bounced off the wall.
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They waited for hours but when the doctor finally came to see them they were left with more questions than answers. Simply told that she was awake and that they would be keeping her for several days for observation. When the team asked to see her they got a vague answer that she could not have visitors at this time.
The doctor had given them a regretful look before heading back to work, leaving a bewildered group behind him.
"Well that was spectacularly unhelpful" Amir remarked bitterly. Preach gave a slow thoughtful nod, "yes, they are definitely withholding, the true question is why?"
Dalton ran a hand over his face, combing his fingers through his beard. He was unsettled by the doctor's manor and wasn't a fan of being left in the dark, especially when it had to do with one of his team members. He turned to McG and inclined his head towards the nurses station "See what you can do."
They watched from a far as he sauntered over, playing the medic card first. When that failed he switched gears and relied on his charm and good looks to do the work for him. After a few moments of conversation he returned to the group looking grim and frustrated.
"They can't tell me much, patient confidentiality and all, but they did help me read between a few lines. Sounds like she refused their recommended treatment plan. Which given what we know, best guess is they wanted to wean her off the drugs over an extended period of time using a drug substitution method. Its slow, but safe. If she refused that…. she would be choosing to go cold turkey. It's faster, but man it's gonna be brutal..." He trailed off and there was heavy silence for a moment before Amir revisited the other elephant in the room.
"So, why can't we see her?"
McG shrugged, not really fully understanding himself "She apparently requested it"
The team's faces displayed varying degrees of surprise and hurt at this revelation. All except Dalton's. He may have been frustrated with her stubbornness but he certainly wasn't surprised. To be a good leader he had to have a solid understanding of what made each person tick. Jaz still held some mysteries but he had figured out enough to know she didn't like to be weak. She had worked and clawed for every ounce of respect she was owed in her career. She was conditioned to always appear strong and capable and she wouldn't want to be seen struggling, even in front of her team.
"You guys take a break, I'll hang around just in case anything changes"
He overrode their protests and finally convinced them to head back to base with the promise that he would call with any updates.
Hours passed and he waited not so patiently. As the evening wore on he could see more and more nurses going in and out of her room. Judging by their increasingly somber expressions and the growing amount of activity, things were not going well. Frustrated he paced the small waiting room a few more times before giving up and sinking defeated into the chair for what felt like the hundredth time.
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He didn't realize his eyes had closed until he jerked awake to find a nurse leaning over him.
She gestured to the open door to Jaz's room and he looked at her confused.
"But she doesn't want…" the nurse cut him off
"Sometimes what people need is more important than what they want'.
He gave her a grateful smile and hurried to the door entering the room quietly before anyone could change their mind. When his eyes adjusted to the dim room his breath caught. Not a large person to begin with, Jaz looked so incredibly tiny in the bed. Curled up in a tight ball with her back to him she was practically swallowed up in layers of blankets. He hesitated to announce his presence until he heard her moan and saw an arm reach out for the basin beside the bed. Hand violently shaking, she was unable to keep her grip on it and knocked it off the bedside table with a desperate cry. He finally moved deeper into the room, hurrying around to pick it up and managing to get it in position just in time for her to retch violently. He waited until she was done and collapsed back against the pillows. Wanting to do something, anything to make it better, he raised a cup and straw to her lips. When she turned her head away in refusal he returned the cup to the table. Spying a cloth he wet it and folded it to make a cold compress and put it up to her forehead. He felt her lean into the comfort of the cold on her hot skin and she gave a soft grunt of thanks. He saw her eyes crack open slightly before widening and locking onto him with panicked recognition.
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Finally finished puking she settled back with her eyes closed, gritting her teeth and waiting tentatively to see if her stomach was done. She felt a nurse offer her water and weighed the likelihood of it staying down before sighing and turning her head away. The clatters of the glass returning to the table felt abnormally loud and sent shooting pains through her head. But the irritating noises were quickly forgiven the second the cold met her burning face. Reveling in just how good a simple wet cloth could feel she tried to open her eyes, squinting against the lights, planning to thank the nurse for her kindness.
Her eyes shot open when her miserable brain finally processed who she was standing beside her. Embarrassment and anger flared, she had given specific instructions she wanted to do this alone. She didn't want any of her team to see her like this, especially Top. Bad enough they had found her. Bad enough they had seen the needles and knew that she was an addict now, forcibly injected to the point where every fiber of her body was crying out for more. She could at least beat this on her own and try to be back to normal before she saw them again.
She attempted to roll away from him not wanting to see pity in his eyes, not wanting him to care. Instead she groaned and curled up tighter, the attempted movement triggering more stomach spasms. Her eyes met his and she muttered "you suck." He gave a soft humorless laugh not denying the accusation and instead pulled up a chair and took an exaggerated seat next to her, clearly having no intention of going anywhere. She rolled her eyes but he was completely unruffled by her anger, by the situation, he was just calm and there, and dammit it was a little comforting.
Suddenly cold, her whole body reacted with strong shivers. Before she could summon the energy to move or speak he removed the cloth and pulled the blankets up from where they fallen and she gave him a begrudgingly grateful look.
Eyes becoming heavy, she felt him lean in towards her "Jaz you are the strongest person we know, this doesn't change anything"
It was quiet but firm. She stored it away, too tired to fully process it now and not quite ready to accept it yet anyways. But she could already feel it taking hold at some level, her subconscious in the habit of trusting whatever he said. Finally she gave into exhaustion, happy to escape the pain for a few minutes.
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Dalton watched the sniper finally relax, knowing it likely wouldn't last but praying she would get a bit of a reprieve from the torment. McG had warned them that for the first few days the withdrawal symptoms would be unrelenting. Unfortunately he didn't seem to have been exaggerating.
Far too soon Jaz began to toss and turn, her body unable to give her peace. Weak arms and legs struggled to kick off blankets as the fever caused a drastic temperature change yet again. Dalton could see the muscle spasms at work as Jaz curled in on herself trying to ease the tension.
In the early hours of the morning a nurse quietly entered and began to change Jaz's IV but the light touch on her hand had Jaz violently reacting. Her uncoordinated and sluggish movements were lethal enough as she tried to fight off her would be attacker through the feverish haze. The nurse stilled and backed away leaving Dalton to try and settle Jaz.
"You're in the hospital Jaz. You're safe now. Just relax" but the sniper wasn't processing his words caught somewhere between the nightmares and the real world that wasn't much better. Worried she was going to hurt herself he raised his voice.
"Jaz, stand down!"
That did the trick, military training overriding her confusion and she slumped back boneless against the bed panting heavily and blinking in confusion.
The nurse moved in, completing her work and checking vitals before exiting the room leaving Dalton to stand watch as Jaz's breathing slowly evened out and she slipped back under.
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The small sounds of pain she made as she re-awoke almost caused him physical pain but he kept his face neutral with a great effort. When her gaze finally focused on him and he could see the misery in every line of her face, too drained to try and hide it from him.
"I hate this", she whispered. He nodded, there wasn't really much he could say to that. It was truly cruel what the body could do to itself. Heavy handed torture wasn't needed when you could force someone into relying on a drug. Then take it away and the person's own body did all the torturing on its own.
"You don't have to stay. I can do this on my own".
"I know you can, but you don't have to".
He held her gaze for a minute, willing her to understand her team would do anything for her without thinking any less of her.
Sighing at her stubbornness he relented and gave her an out.
"Besides if you keep trying to get rid of me I'm going to get a complex".
He thought the corner of her lips raised in what might have been an attempt at a smile but it was short lived and quickly soured as she bit her lip, pressing her face deeper into the pillow.
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"What time is it?"
She stared at him expectantly, and there was no escaping her gaze now. She had finally won the battle with the nurses a few hours back and was propped upright in the bed.
Dalton sighed, reluctant to answer. She was obviously keeping a mental tally of the grueling hours, riding it out and counting down till she could see the end in sight. But he wasn't sure whether the information would help or hurt.
She fidgeted with the blankets unable to relax, body quivering with restless energy she couldn't escape. She quickly gave up on him responding and turning to face out the window with a huff. The battle seemed to him to have ventured more into the mental realm over the last couple hours as she wrestled with inner demons unseen to him. He almost wished to go back to the more physical symptoms, those he felt more confident dealing with. Right now one wrong word was dangerous, he had already taken a few blows as a verbal punching bag for the frustrated sniper.
Aiming for a distraction in lieu of facts he offered "Did I ever tell you about my first mission with the team?"
She shook her head minutely and he took that as an invitation to continue on."Well you will find this hard to believe I'm sure, but I made a complete fool of myself right off the bat…"
Her breath hitched but he struggled to read her reaction, her usually tense body making it hard to decipher anything at this point. He finally decided to plow onwards "No seriously, contrary to popular belief I wasn't always this perfect"
She turned from the window, rolling her eyes at his fake bravado and settling back against the bed. He smiled - mission accomplished - and continued on with his story.
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When she woke this time she almost forgot where she was and what was happening. For the first time in what felt like forever she didn't feel like complete crap. Just slight crap. Her body still felt a bit achy and weak but her head was clearer and she didn't feel like she was about to crawl out of her own skin. A welcome change. She wasn't sure if she could trust it to last quite yet but she sure wasn't going to complain about it right now.
"I fold"
"Oh come on, you big chicken"
"No way, man don't do it just look at that face, he's got you beat for sure"
She forced her eyes open and saw that McG, Preach and Amir had all pulled up chairs around her bed and we're apparently using the end of it as their poker table.
They were so engrossed in their game they hadn't noticed her and she was content just to watch for a minute. She quickly gathered that Amir's deceptive abilities did not translate to poker judging by the significantly smaller stack of chips in front of him.
She looked past their game and saw Dalton passed out in a chair in the corner. He had spent the last who knows how many hours regaling her with stories. Half of them she was sure he had made up. But it hadn't mattered. It had helped. He had been there with tale after tale ready to take her mind away from this room. She was glad he was finally resting.
Re-focusing on the game in front of her, she saw they were about ready to begin a new hand,
"Deal me in"
She got a good amount of satisfaction in making them jump. It made her feel more like her normal ninja self, at least until her clumsy fingers struggled to coordinate the buttons on the remote to raise her bed. Baby steps.
Large smiles met her announcement and they happily played a few rounds in competitive silence broken only by the occasional trash talk. No one asked her how she was feeling or commented on how hoarse her voice was. Her teammates steadfastly ignored her hand tremors even though the shaking cards made them extra visible. The game rolled on and gave Jaz a welcome sense of normalcy for a few minutes.
She couldn't blame them when they finally opted not to deal her in. Her eyes had started to stay closed longer than they were open. She felt someone lower the head of the bed and pull the blankets back up around her and she gave an appreciative smile. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't the worst thing in the world to have people in her corner right now.