Hello again. This has been tumbling around in my head for awhile so I decided to write it down. The finale didn't really satisfy my Brittana cravings and so as usual I turn to fan fiction. This is a teaser chapter of sorts, to get things started. Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own glee.
PROLOGUE
It was an evening like every other and yet it was supposed to be magical, beautiful even. The young latina sat looking out her window at the ocean, listening to the crash of the waves and the calling of the gulls. Her stylist knocked on the door and upon getting no response impertinently stuck her head inside to remind her that it was time to start getting ready. Her team bustled in led by the loud young woman with blonde hair who barked instructions at the others and insulted them at every step. Seeing her only brought another pang to the latina who was reminded of her earlier stylist quitting. Kurt's not just a stylist, he is her friend.. was her friend.
She sat staring blankly at her reflection as the blonde who had the obnoxious name of Kitty curled her raven locks and tried to have a conversation with her, one that involved her chattering endlessly and receiving a grunt or monosyllable as a reply. She supposed she looked amazing, or atleast that was what the team was gushing, her hair and makeup impeccable, her clothes ravishing as usual, but she could barely look at herself in the mirror, but even in her numbed state she acknowledged that Kurt would do better. When she was ready she walked outside where Will was waiting for her in a limo. He was excited as usual and overly enthusiastic, but even that didn't bother her. She felt numb and cold. It sucked.
He looked down at her in concern and asked if she was alright to which she just nodded, content to sit in silence, alone with her thoughts. He was quiet before whispering, "I know you miss her". This caused an enormous surge of anger to erupt through her entire being as she fixed an angry glare on him and asked him to shut his mouth before she had him committed to an asylum for the clinically insane on account of his insistence that vests and gel actually mask the fact that he knew anything at all. Will clamped his mouth shut, knowing better than to aggravate her as he stared out the window. She on the other hand, felt her whole body shake with emotion and reached forward to tell the driver to stop. The driver obliged and she hopped out, mindless to Will spluttering that they were going to be late. She just needed some air.
The fresh breeze did soothe her somewhat as she continued to shake with anger. She was mad, mad at Will and mad at Kurt for leaving her with that idiot blonde and mad at Jesse who was a douchebag and tried to control her and mad at...She stopped pacing, not even wanting to think of her because that brought pain, and she couldn't deal with pain. She could divert her rage, yell at others, drink herself into oblivion, hurt and strike out but this soul crushing, gut wrenching pain she couldn't handle. She stomped back to the car and a tiny part of her mind acknowledged that she was also mad at herself.
The rest of the journey passed in silence. They pulled up at the venue and as she got out there was pandemonium, with flashes of cameras, people yelling out to her and general mayhem and chaos as she stood at the entrance. She smiled as she made her way down the red carpet, it was mostly genuine especially when the fans screamed her name. It made her feel... special, wanted. Like her life was worth it. But she didn't really feel complete, not without...Stop it! She told herself as she gave her mind a mental shake. Just get through this. She posed for the camera, her artificial smile firmly in place as numerous photographs for magazines and websites were taken and she made small talk with a number of people. Various idiot reporters asked her why she was alone and if there was no one special in her life and she smiled stiffly as she gave them her overused one liner response, "You guys will be the first to know" followed by a quick wink.
Her breath caught in her throat as she made her way into the auditorium. This was it! She, Santana Lopez was officially nominated for a Grammy Award. This was just the beginning of what she hoped would be a long, beautiful illustrious career. She'd struggled for this, gave everything for this. She should be on top of the world, except she wasn't.
She took her place and forced a smile through the same stale old jokes, although she did perk up at the musical performances, she still felt incomplete. They had been considerate enough to fill up the seat beside her but she still felt alone. It didn't help that the young upstart who was seated beside her was a big fan and attempted to talk to her every chance she got. She did look up when her name was announced as they reached her category. She should be feeling nervous, or excited or something. All she felt was blank, empty. Even when they announced her name as the winner, the fake smile took over naturally, effortlessly as her mind pondered wryly that it seemed to appear way more frequently than a genuine smile did. She made her way to the stage and accepted her award. She stepped to the microphone and looked out at the crowd, many of whom were on their feet. Her eyes locked with Will's who looked proud and then moved over to Jesse as he smiled at her triumphantly.
Something snapped inside her, as she looked at him. She cleared her throat and said, "This should be one of the greatest moments of my life, but... I can't accept this award from you without telling you who I really am. I owe it to all of you, my parents, my friends, my fans, and umm to people I've lied to, who I've hurt, I owe you all the truth. Today I answer the questions and put the rumours to rest. Today I would like to tell all of you sitting here as well as the rest of the world watching that I am a lesbian."