So this is my first Bones fic. It just came to me while I was reading another fanfiction. I just thought, "I wonder what Booth was feeling during that final scene in the 100th episode." So, I wrote what I thought he'd be feeling. It's written in 3rd person, but I only focus on Booth. I hope you guys like it.

I love reviews, but please no flaming. This is just a retelling, not an AU or extra scene.

I hope that you enjoy and see something deeper in it. I tried to capture Booth, the way he broke during the scene. Thanks for reading.

EI3 Fly With Christ EI3

~Dist

Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or any of the characters.

She was talking to him, but he wasn't really listening. He participated, but his mind was spinning around one thing. The one thing Sweets had said that meant anything. The one thing that he knew he had to do. One thought. I'm the gambler. Over and over, he had been repeating it in his mind as they traveled through the Hoover Building. I'm the gambler. As they walked in front of the building, the thought finally overwhelmed everything else.

He stopped.

She turned.

"I'm the gambler."

She looked confused.

"I believe in giving this a chance," he continued as her expression turned slightly fearful. "Look, I want to give this a shot."

"You mean us?"

He nodded, unnerved by the small but everlasting hesitation in her voice. Please God, he prayed, silently, please just give me this. He knew she was scared, he could see it in her eyes, but he couldn't let this go. He couldn't pretend anymore.

"No," she continued, shaking her head, "the FBI won't let us work together as a couple." She was rationalizing and he knew it.

"Don't do that," he interrupted, "that is no reason-" His sentence went unfinished as he took two steps towards her, grabbed her waist and pulled her body into his.

Their lips crashed together with the momentum he had generated between them. Fear engulfed him when nothing happened, when she didn't kiss him back. And then everything changed. He could feel her relax. Feel her enjoying the moment. Her lips moved with his as one and just when he was sure everything was perfect, the sky fell.

She pushed him away. Her hands, one moment pulling him closer, were now pushing on his chest. His world crash around him as one world echoed through his mind. "NO!" That one word made him want to turn to dust. One word uttered in desperation, in grief. He could hear it in her voice, the sadness that had overcome her. The moment that had given him so much hope, so much joy, had only caused her pain.

"NO!" She had cried as she pulled away, not daring to look him in the eye. She hit him in the chest, but it felt as if she had just stabbed him through the heart with the sharpest knife. "No." She repeated trying to pull away.

He held her in his arms, keeping her in front of him. "Why?" he pleaded, trying to make eye contact. "Why?"

"You thought you were protecting me, but you're the one who needs protecting."

"Protecting from what?" He asked in exasperation.

She finally looked at him with tears in her eyes, "From me." Two words. Two little words. Two words he didn't understand, couldn't comprehend. From her? She was his life, the one thing that made him whole. Why would he need protection from her? She was what he wanted most.

"I-I-" She stumbled as she tried to explain. "I don't have your kind of open heart."

"J-just give it a chance," he pleaded, "That's all I'm asking." He continued holding her, knowing that if he let go, he'd never get her back.

She looked away again, "No, you said it yourself. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome." She looked at him with resignation written all over her face. It was as if she wanted him to convince her that she was wrong, but knew that he never could.

But he wouldn't give up. "Well, then let's go for a different outcome here. All right. Let's just, hear me out, alright." He couldn't let her go. He couldn't, wouldn't let her go without a fight. "You know when you talk to older couples who, you know, have been in love for 30 or 40 or 50 years, alright? It's always the guy who says, 'I knew.'" He paused and looked into her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that he always had to stop himself from drowning in. Those eyes that held so much hurt, so much pain, but also so much joy, so much happiness. Those eyes that were now fighting back the tears that threatened to escape. Those eyes he loved more than life itself. It was in those eyes that he felt the strength to continue on.

"I knew," he almost whispered, "Right from the beginning."

A pause.

"Your evidence is anecdotal." No, he thought as his face fell, no don't be a scientist right now. Please, please, just be a girl. Don't be Dr. Brennan. Just be Temperance. Please, just be irrational for a few minutes. He knew that she was putting the walls back up. She was retreating into her comfort zone, far away from him.

"Don't," he whispered, "I'm that guy. Bones, I'm that guy. I know."

She shook her head and looked away. The tears were getting harder to hide. "I am not a gambler." He could hear the tremor in her voice. "I'm a scientist, I can't change. I don't know how." She was begging him to understand, to see that she needed him to know she couldn't do what he asked. "I don't know how," she repeated as one daring tear made its escape from her eye. He could see it slide across her smooth cheek and all he wanted to do was wipe it away. He wanted to wipe all the tears away, make all of the hurt and sadness disappear. He wanted to take her in his arms and prove to her that she was safe, that she was loved.

But he couldn't, especially now. Especially after he had just poured his heart out to her and she had thrown it away without a second glance. He wanted to be mad at her. He wanted to hate her for it. But he couldn't. He couldn't stop loving her. All he could do was stand there as his heart broke.

"Please don't look so sad," she begged him.

"Alright," he said, "ok." He sighed as he sat on the low wall behind him. Like he could just be fine after that. As if everything could just go back to the way it was. She sat beside him. He composed himself and looked at her. "You're right." He chastised himself for giving up. "You're right."

She fidgeted nervously beside him. "Can we still work together?" She asked, her expression hopeful.

For a moment, he looked at her as if she were crazy. Work together? He thought, Seeing her everyday? Loving her? I've been doing that for years. But now I know. Now I know that she doesn't share my feelings. She never has. He nodded. "Yeah," he sighed in resignation. He knew she was too important to live without, even if it meant hurting every day of his life. He wiped away the few stray tears of his own.

"Thank you." She said, trying to get things back to normal between them.

He took a deep breath, hating himself for what he was about to say. "But I gotta move one." He felt the pain that he saw clearly etched on her face. "You know, I gotta find someone who's – who's gonna love me in 30 years or 40 or 50."

"I know," the hurt was evident in her voice. She stood, then, wiping away her own tears. She started walking and then turned to him, silently asking him to join her. And he did. He put that charming smile on his face and took his place beside her. The place he had occupied for five years. The place where he had been her partner.

The place where her partner was all he would ever be.

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts.

Update 4/25/15: Could you please go to my profile an fill out the poll there? I'm considering whether I should change my pen name? What are your opinions on that? Unfortunately, there's no way for you guys to leave individual feedback in the poll. But if you want to PM me your reasons, I'd love to hear them. Thanks.