Confessions of the Heart

Life… is something that we all take for granted every single day of our lives, something that we forget to appreciate with all of the distractions that go along with our daily routines. We, as a society, try so much to climb to the very top, to be the best of the best, to be the superior being that will be rewarded with fame and fortune in order to receive temporary relief from the pain and suffering that we try so much to discard and leave behind. And for what? For what reason? In the end, we all meet the same fate, the same destiny. In all of our efforts to ward off disease, to increase our life expectancy, to find an ultimate antidote that will one day bring about immortality, in the end it still comes. There's nothing we can do to stop it, nothing we can do to evade it…so why do we even bother?

Okay… So maybe I, too, fell under the assumption that I would always have the opportunity to make up for my past mistakes, but why did it have to end like this? Why did it have to end without my family knowing that I loved them dearly, even though most times I tried to deny it? And why didn't I tell him how I truly felt about him? He loved someone else, I was sure of it, but why didn't I tell him in spite of that? Why? Why did it have to be me?

Darkness… Was I…dead…?

His voice suddenly rang through the air as I heard him call my name, breaking me away from my thoughts. Pain racked my body as I drifted closer to consciousness, my lungs feeling as though they were about to burst. It was so hard to breathe… And then I remembered where I was; I was in the hospital. I could feel the tight restraint of an oxygen mask held in place over my mouth by a flexible band, and a clasp that firmly gripped my finger which was connected to a nearby heart monitor. My hair was out of place as it was strewn about in all directions over the pillow that supported my head, and it took me a moment to realize what happened.

I was sitting on the bus like any other day with my friends, when suddenly something, supposedly a truck (though it wasn't confirmed), collided into the side with enough force to send the public vehicle flying, causing it to smash onto the hard, concrete pavement below and skid along the roadway while bringing other cars and street lights with it. With our world now spinning out of control, we could merely hope that we would leave with little to no pain. I reached out instinctively to grab Takato's hand a moment before I felt a metal shard pierce through my body, causing me to fall back and grit my teeth in utter agony. Feeling nauseated and dizzy, I was swarmed by the growing darkness, and then… Nothing.

I tried to move, to prop myself into a sitting position, but my muscles did not want any part of it. I rose slightly and then collapsed from what seemed like total exhaustion, causing me to become extremely impatient and frustrated. Why did this have to happen to me, of all people?

"Shh… Don't try and move," I heard him say as he leaned over to place a hand on my forehead, gently brushing my reddish bangs to the side. I just hated feeling so vulnerable… so helpless… That wasn't me. I was too strong for that. I didn't want him – or anyone else for that matter – to see me in the state that I was in. "Just rest… You need to rest."

It wasn't long before I gave up the notion of moving, but I stubbornly made the attempt to open my eyes, wanting so much to see him in order to make a mental note to myself that he was alright. Sure enough, when I opened my eyes (with much effort, I might add, since they felt like bricks), there he was in one piece, save for a few cuts and bruises here and there. He was lucky to even make it out alive!

"Goggle-head…" I murmured, finally able to find my voice. "Why the glum face? Are the others okay?" He frowned. The kid who was once so playful and clueless turned very serious.

"Y-Yeah…" He stammered, averting his gaze away from me. What was he hiding? It wasn't like it was news that he cared about Jeri, if that was what was bothering him. "Jeri broke her arm and twisted her ankle. Other than that, she's alright. Henry suffered from a minor concussion, but he's awake and talking, so everything seems to be fine for now.

"The Digimon…?"

"They weren't with us, remember?" A rush of relief swept over me as I learned that everyone survived, causing me to smile weakly in response.

"Guess there's nothing left to worry about, huh?" I said coarsely.

"Rika… how…" What was wrong with him? Everyone he cared about was alive, so what continued to trouble him? Noticing his now shaking form I looked directly at him, watching as the hot, steamy tears rolled down the side of his face and onto the floor at his feet.

"Goggle-head, what's wrong? Why the tears?" I asked bluntly. As the Digimon Ice Queen, I had my dignity to maintain. I was the kick-ass, tom-boyish, rock-craving girl who everyone knew to be hot-headed, strong, and smart, afterall. I didn't want him to know that it broke my heart to see him like that.

"The Doctors said that you have an infection as a result of the metal shard puncturing your right lung… You've lost so much blood, and they say your organs are shutting down…" His words hit me like a tonne of bricks. I was…dying? "They said that there's nothing that they can do, but…" No wonder I felt so weak…

I tugged relentlessly at the oxygen mask that clung to my face until, finally, it came free. It was hard talking to someone with something covering your mouth, and it irritated me to no end that he could barely hear me.

"D-Don't do that!" Takato said fearfully, desperation in his voice.

"It was bothering me. Besides… I'm fine. I'm dying anyway, right?" I regretted what I said after seeing his shoulders slump, realizing that the words I chose to use were inappropriate for the rather delicate situation we were in. I guess, with my sarcastic sense of humor getting the better of me, I was trying to lighten the situation. What a mistake that was…

"Don't say things like that!"

"Goggle-head, you-'re— huh?" The moment went by in a blur as he gathered me in his arms, pulling me close to him in a tight embrace. This left me speechless as my cheeks started to burn and my heart skip, causing me to forget about the pain that I had seconds ago. Before my mind could register what was going on, I felt his tender lips press against mine, and pretty soon I found myself closing my eyes and returning the passionate kiss once I got over the brief shock.

"I love you…" He said between hot, puffy breaths as we pulled away, staring into my eyes. "You can't leave…" It's not that I wanted to, especially after the moment we had just shared, but I could sense that it wasn't going to be long before my time was finally up.

"…" What was I supposed to say? At that point I didn't know if it would make matters worse if I told him how I truly felt or not. Maybe it was better for him not to know my exact feelings for him so that he would have an easier time of getting on with his life. Let's face it; if you despise someone, it's a lot easier to forget about them, right?

"You can't leave…" He rasped, holding the side of my face.

"Listen, Goggle-head," I responded weakly, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. It pained me so much to see him like that. Something in his eyes told me of the pain that he was experiencing, almost as though a part of him was dying along with me. "Don't break down on me like this!" I choked. "You don't know how it feels to know that you're never going to face another day, to know that you're never going to have the opportunity to follow through with your dreams of what you wanted to do for your career! So… Stop being such a…a…crybaby!" A sense of guilt washed over me as I seen him flinch, making me wish that I hadn't been so calloused. In my efforts to hide my feelings I subconsciously released them in the form of bitterness and anger, towards the wrong person at that. It wasn't his fault that this whole thing happened. "I-I'm sorry…" I whispered, my own tears falling freely down my face. "I didn't mean…"

To my surprise, he gave me a solemn smile before leaning his brow on mine, sobbing. It just wasn't fair…

"Jeri needs you… You have to be strong for her."

"I told you that I loved you… I had a crush on you the moment I met you… I just always thought that you would never fall for a guy like me. That's why I never told you before…" He said admittedly, clenching his fists.

"And now…?"

"I took a chance by telling you… how I felt… I…I…"

My energy felt as though it was being sucked out of my body, causing me to become weaker by the minute. I knew that if I didn't confess my feelings to him I would never have the opportunity again. "I love you, too, goggle-head." His head shot up sharply as he stared into my eyes, like he was surprised to hear something like that coming from me. I admit I didn't expect to be saying something to that effect, either, so I surprised even myself.

Feeling a sense of peace, I leaned into his arms wearily as I felt myself beginning to fade out of consciousness. It was like falling asleep, only you know that you will never wake up.

"Rika… No… Open your eyes…" It wrenched my heart to hear him plead with such desperation reflected in his voice. I couldn't help it, though…I didn't have the energy that it took to stay awake anymore.

"Never forget that I love you, Takato…" I smiled as I lifted my hand to touch his face in an effort to wipe away his tears. Grabbing it within his own, he held it to the side of his brow as he leaned over to kiss me one last time. I could feel myself drifting further and further away, my chest rising and falling, rising and falling, until then, with one final breath……

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A/N: I know… Pretty sad, huh? *holds out tissues* Just don't hurt me! I promise that I will make a fic that has a happier ending! *cowers in a corner* Anyway, please tell me what you think!