Disclaimer: The characters belong to Bandai (or Toei… or something) and the lyrics belong to Stars.
Rated for language and drug references. You have to forgive Yamato's behavior in this one.
This is the first in a series of one-shots called Picking Up the Pieces.
Spiraling
-Saturday nights in neon lights, Sunday in the cell
Pills enough to make me feel ill, cash enough to make me well-
The distinct smell of alcohol and marijuana filled Taichi's nostrils as he entered the crowded hotel room. People were laughing and dancing to the music that was blaring over the sound system. The dark-skinned teen instinctively wrapped his arms around his torso.
This wasn't his scene.
Sure, Taichi liked to party as much as the next 18 year-old male, but this was just different; it crossed some kind of line that he had subconsciously placed for himself. He couldn't exactly say he wasn't used to it by now, though; Yamato's post-show parties tended to get a little crazy and of course, being the best friend that he was, Taichi was expected to attend them.
Grabbing a beer from the bathtub, the tall boy wandered into the crowd of people and almost immediately saw a head of blond hair sauntering towards him.
"Taaaaaaaaaaaii!" Yamato squealed, throwing his arms around the other boy in a sloppy hug. Taichi gently wrapped an arm around his best friend's shoulder and tried to ignore the stench of alcohol coming off the other. He resisted the urge to gag.
"Hey, Yama." He said in a tone that was not nearly as enthusiastic as the blond's.
"How are you?" A wide grin spread over Yamato's features. "I hope you enjoyed the show!" His pupils were dilated, his nose was red and raw and his eyes simply wouldn't stop moving.
Fuck.
A sense of disappointment and mild annoyance washed over Taichi as he took a swig of his beer. "It was amazing, like always."
He promised he'd stop. Again.
The blue-eyed boy suddenly erupted in a fit of giggles. "That means so much, coming from you!" he said and practically jumped on top of the other teen, wrapping his arms once more around Taichi's neck.
Taichi staggered and almost spilled his beer as the blond proceeded to lift his feet off the ground, placing his entire weight on the brunet's neck and chest.
"Whoa, there, calm down!" The annoyance in Tai's mind flared as he tried pry Yamato off his body.
Luckily, a voice called for Yamato and the blond hopped back to the ground and turned his neck to face the source.
"Hey, gorgeous." He grinned at the girl coming towards the two. She pushed her long, red locks behind her ears as she pressed her body to Yamato's back and put a joint to his lips.
Tai couldn't help but dig his nails into the palms of his hands and glare at the redhead as the annoyance turned to anger.
Fuckfuckfuck. Why do I bother?
"Want?" The blond took the joint from the girl's fingers and brought it to Tai's lips, his sapphire eyes resting on the taller boy.
Because he's my best friend.
The brunet simply shook his head, mumbling a "no thanks" and looked to his feet, all the while trying to ignore the redhead's lips nibbling on his friend's neck.
"I'll just leave you two alone." Tai muttered when he noticed the girl's gestures becoming increasingly more intimate. As he turned to walk away, he felt a hand grab his elbow.
"No Tai! Don't go!" The blond whimpered and pulled away from the redhead. Taichi sighed and turned back around. "I don't think I've properly introduced you two yet."
The brunet just took another swig of his beer.
"Tai, this is Maddie." He gestured to the redhead. "Isn't she hot?"
The taller boy couldn't help but glance up and down the redhead's petite frame as she smiled playfully at him.
No, no. Not what I'm here for.
So Taichi opted for not saying anything.
"And Maddie, this is my best friend in the whole wide world, Tai!" Yamato continued, "and you'd have to be blind to not think he's sexy."
Taichi blinked at this, but the redhead seemed unfazed.
"You're sexy too, 'Mato" Maddie giggled.
Yamato started giggling as well. "So we're just a group of three sexy motherfuckers. Damn." Both figures continued to laugh as Taichi groaned inwardly.
"Anyway," Maddie drawled when she finally stopped laughing. Her eyes flickered over to a nearby coffee table where two guys were shoving each other playfully and using a credit card to form lines of white powder. "I'm going see what Toru and Ed are up to." She poked the blond's side. "Wanna come?"
Yamato, understanding the implications of her question, rubbed his nose with his index finger and gave her an impish grin. "I'll join you later. I'm not done basking in Tai's sexiness." He gave her a wink and she pushed back through the crowds.
Taichi was trying very hard not to put a dent in the wall. Or Yamato's face. He knew what kinds of things Yamato's musical career was exposing him to. He also knew how little his friend resisted.
The sapphire orbs locked on his face again. Yamato took a step towards Tai and placed a pale hand over his darker one, guiding the brunet's bottle to his lips.
"Taaai. I feel sooogood tonight!" Yamato squealed and brought his lips to the other's neck.
The brunet felt his friend's lips trail kisses all along his chin and jaw, moving steadily upwards.
Shit, shit, shit. So not good. Shit. This is so not right. He's so fucking out of it.
Taichi's strong arms firmly took hold of the blond's and pushed him away.
"Yama…" he started, but saw the boy's eyes droop and his body go limp in Taichi's hands.
Shit. This is even worse. Ugh. Not again. How long has it been since he last slept?
The tanned boy sighed and hoisted the unconscious teen over his shoulder. He left his beer at one of the numerous side tables, and quickly left the hotel room. He doubted anyone would really notice Yamato's disappearance; everyone there was as far gone as his best friend had been.
Taichi's ears buzzed from the music as he walked down the marble hallways. He took the elevator down to his room. The whole 50th floor was booked for the after-party and, frankly, Tai didn't think he would have been able to fall asleep or keep his sanity if he had stayed on that floor.
The brunet made the quiet trek to his room. He opened the door and quickly placed the blond on his bed. His breathing was rapid and his eyelashes fluttered in his sleep. Two tanned fingers placed themselves on Yamato's neck to check his pulse. His heart beat vigorously under Taichi's fingers. He frowned and moved his hand to the other's heated forehead.
Yamato needed to wake up.
Taichi walked into his bathroom, grabbed a towel and soaked it in cold water. As he made his way back to the blond, he started to wipe down the unconscious boy's heated skin. He wiped the other's nose, eyelids, cheeks and forehead, before tentatively moving to his neck and ears –being careful to avoid the blond's pierced cartilage- and then to his arms and hands.
Yamato's breathing did not slow, nor did his heart rate. Anger and panic swelled in the taller boy; his best friend was getting himself into these kinds of situations with increasing frequency. It was angering, because it showed how little respect Yamato had for himself, for his band (who honestly weren't much better) and for the people closest to him.
Like me.
But Taichi was also deathly afraid of one day being unable to wake the other. He was afraid that one day Yamato was going to slip through his fingers.
Pushing those thoughts aside, Taichi placed a hand lightly against the blond's far-too-warm cheek. "Yama, wake up." He slapped the other lightly, but the other teen did not respond. The brunet placed his other arm on the blond's shoulder and started shaking. "I need you to wake up for me, Yama. Come on."
Yamato's eyebrows twitched lightly, and an unintelligible murmur escaped his lips.
Taichi began to shake with more vigor.
"Yamato! Wake up." He leaned closer to the unconsious teen and started to lightly tap his cheek once more. "Please open your eyes for me, Yama."
A familiar anxiety rose in him as he attempted to wake up his best friend. Far too familiar.
The blond's eyelashes fluttered, and his eyes slowly opened to look up at Taichi.
"Where…where's Maddie?" His sapphire eyes were half hidden behind his eyelids and were- to Taichi's relief- a little less dilated.
The brunet only smiled.
Yamato sat up abruptly, looking around. "Wait…Where am I?"
"You passed out, idiot. So I brought you back to my hotel room."
The teen ran a jerky hand through his blond hair. "Fuck."
Taichi placed his tan hands firmly on the blond's shoulders as he started to get up. "Where do you think you're going?" His did not hide the agitation this time.
"Back to the party. My band members are probably wondering where I've gone." Yamato's speech was slurred. Taichi guessed that was probably not true, not with how the party was progressing.
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Yama." The brunet tried gently, hands still firmly in place on the other's shoulders.
Yamato raised a blond eyebrow and stared incredulously at Taichi, as if he'd just grown another head. "How can I not go back?" he mumbled, prying the brunet's hands from his shoulders. "It's my party. I can't just randomly abandon it right in the middle!"
"I'm not letting you go back there so you can snort more coke, Yama." Taichi knew it was dangerous to argue with someone as stoned and as drunk as the blond, but the brunet's nerves just didn't want to take anymore.
It had started with pot and before Taichi even realized, the blond was regularly doing E. Then he got introduced to cocaine, acid, heroin and God knew what else. The brunet prayed that his best friend didn't get hooked on the heroin. He didn't always need to witness the blond actually take the drugs to know that he had; it was easy enough to tell by his dilated pupils, his raw nose and marks on his arms from improperly injected needles.
"How the fuck is that any of your business?" The blond stood to face his best friend, eyebrows pulled together in a frown.
"You're my best friend, Yama. Of course it's my business."
"Thad doesn't give you ownership over me, Taichi!" Yamato grew louder and roughly crossed his arms.
Taichi couldn't help but notice the blond's jittering leg.
He can't even stand still.
"I don't want to deal with this anymore Yamato! I can't keep watching you destroy yourself." The tanned boy threw his arms out in frustration.
"No one is asking you to deal with this." The blond retaliated, and shoved the other boy roughly.
Taichi just took a step forward and gazed into his friend's eyes.
"You have to stop Yamato. You can't keep doing this to yourself anymore." He prodded, gently.
The blond ignored him and raised his voice once more. "No one is asking you to stay, Taichi!" His breathing was becoming more ragged. He tried to shove his best friend again, but the brunet stood his ground. "Just leave, if you can't handle it! I don't need you here, especially if you're going to do this preaching bullshit." He attempted to push Taichi once again, but the tanned boy caught his wrists, and brought them down to the boy's sides.
"Breathe, Yama." Taichi murmured.
Yamato struggled against his friend's grip. "Don't fucking touch me, Taichi!" he screeched and gave the brunet the most feral glare he could manage in his state. "Leave like the rest of them did! I don't care!" The blond's voice was raw as he broke his wrists from Taichi's grip.
The brunet just sighed. It was true that their friends, the other Digidestend, had made a point of distancing themselves from the emerging rock star. The blond's extended absences had already put a strain on his relationship with the others, but it was Yamato's lifestyle, choice of friends and constant mood swings that caused this gap. He had refused any help that was offered or pushed on him. Some of their friends disapproved strongly, unwilling to accept the blond's choices and they refused to talk to him in his condition. Others just didn't understand and couldn't find a way to communicate with Yamato.
Their friends' lack of support, inflexibility and scorn when it came to Yamato annoyed and disappointed Taichi to no end, but he knew that deep down, they cared greatly for the blond and could not watch as he destroyed himself. And the brunet could understand that.
But the ever-stubborn and determined Taichi was not willing to give up on his friend as easily as the others had.
"Just get the fuck away from me, Taichi!" Yamato took a few uneven steps backwards.
Neither spoke. The silence almost broke their eardrums.
And then Yamato brought a hand to his mouth and quickly stuttered into the bathroom.
The unmistakable sound of retching was heard, as Taichi slowly made his way through the door, towards his friend.
The brunet's sneakers felt heavy on the marble floor of the bathroom. His arms felt like string and his head pounded with vigor.
He knelt beside the blond, and attempted to rub his back in soothing circles. Yamato flung out his arm to push Taichi back. Taichi had not been expecting his sheer strength and found himself slammed against the bathroom wall.
"I told you not to fucking touch me!" The smaller boy cried before turning back to the toilet bowl to give another violent heave.
Taichi silently got back up, and went to kneel beside his friend once more. He pulled the blond hair from Yamato's face and continued rubbing his back in comfort.
"I hate you, Taichi!" Heave. "Get the fuck away from me, you bastard!" He once again attempted to shove his best friend away. But Taichi was ready for it this time, and was able to stand his ground.
He did not respond to Yamato's hateful words, or violent shoves. Eventually the blond gave up trying to push Taichi away and only managed to mutter a few last curses at his best friend before falling completely silent and collapsing on the cold, tiled floor.
The brunet felt a painful sense of Déjà vu. This had happened far too many times before, and (almost) every time, Taichi was there to take care of his best friend.
Feeling immensely tired, Taichi gently lifted Yamato off the floor, and carried him to the large bed in the middle of the hotel room.
As soon as the boy's unconscious form hit the soft sheets, his expression contorted in pain and he hugged his legs, curling up into the fetal position. His face was soaked with sweat, and he was panting raggedly.
The brunet exhaled lightly, and wet another towel. He wiped Yamato's face, arms and –after taking the blond's shoes off- his feet, all the while murmuring comforting words into his ear.
Taichi placed a soft kiss to the side of the boy's head and grabbed ice cubes out of the mini-fridge, placing them into a fresh towel. He bit the inside of his cheek and tried not to howl in agony.
Agony of being unable to get through to Yamato, agony for the absolute helplessness he felt, agony over the fear that clutched at his heart, the fear that whispered to his soul that someday soon his friend would be lost forever.
But Taichi was not one to give up. And he was not about to give up on one of the most important people in his life. He would wait and he would be there, attempting to knock some sense into the blond. Taichi would try to coax him out of his greatest highs and help him through his deepest lows. He would take the hate, the abuse, the violence, the denial and through all that try to get his best friend to open his eyes.
And after all that, he would be there to pick up the pieces.
-You despise me and I love you
It's not much, but it's just enough to keep…-
Fin.
A/N: Sorry if that seemed a little extreme to you, but this is what happens to so many emerging stars.
EDIT**- In regards to Taichi's height. I am aware that he is not taller than Yamato in the series. The problem is I only became aware of that recently and I'm having trouble picturing him as shorter. Through the nine or so years that I've known about the character, I've always pictured him as the typical, tall alpha-male type. So yes. In Picking Up the Pieces, Taichi will be taller than Yama, but only fractionally.
...Just imagine Tai had a late growth spurt or something. That's my method of coping with nine years of my mind LYING to me.
**
And there is a continuation for this. I have about five of these planned so far. The reason I'm doing them as individual stories instead of a multi-chaptered piece is because I simply do not have the commitment. Also, these will be mostly standalone fics. However, reading the previous ones will give background information, and a much better feel for the story. So I still encourage readers to read all of them, but I don't want to give the obligation that comes with a multi-chaptered piece.
And when I considered making it multi-chaptered, it didn't really work; it's too fragmented. While it happens in the same universe and along a specific storyline there is just not enough connection between the stories to make the chapters relevant. And besides, they work as one-shots much better.
Anyway. With that explained. Welcome to the world of PUtP (Picking Up the Pieces).
I hope you enjoyed the first installment.
If you did, please tell me! Even if you didn't, please tell me! Comments and criticisms are always welcome.
So please review! Reviews fuel the fires of creativity and motivation.
(p.s. brunette= female, brunet= male... it's scary how recently I learned that)