Der Ballade von Arnold Toht
Arnold was madly in love. His passion for his lover was so great, that he would gladly do anything he was asked. Occasionally, they took romantic walks through the streets of Berlin, kicking every puppy that they could find. During the winter season, they would sit together by a fire, roasting Jews and disabled babies over the crackling flame. Delicious… Yes, the love that bound these two together was stronger than even the most durable iron chain. The passion they shared for each other burned like the fires of Auschwitz' crematoria. "We'll be together forever" thought Arnold as he kissed his lover; "just me and Hitler." Or so he thought…
One fine day in 1945 Germany, Arnold awoke to find that his Fuhrer was not in bed with him. Removing the ball gag from his mouth, and unlocking the leather harness around him, he began to search the bunker for Adolf. Entering the war room, he was met with a disgusting sight: Adolf Hitler, HIS Adolf Hitler, was having a threesome with Joseph Stalin and an unknown black man! Enraged, Arnold grabbed the love-whip from Stalin and wrapped it around his throat, effectively choking him into unconsciousness. Picking up a rather conveniently placed pistol, he fired at Hitler's penis. The bullet was no match for the man of iron, however, and ricochet off of the fuhrer's sparkling metal member, flying up and piercing him through the mouth. Arnold then advanced on the black man, edging him closer and closer to the bunker's meat grinder, where filthy Jewish orphans were turned into SPAM. The black man bowed like a pig, and stuttered "Uh…L-let me be clear. This was not, uh, con-consensual sex. I assure you, that I was raped by that man. I-if you would please uh…give me your gun…I will make it, uh, worth your while, and will most definitely not use it against the German people." Arnold just looked at the man…and smiled. "Tell me mein fruend," he asked, the sly grin still plastered onto his face, "how many Mexicans does it take to do a job?" The black man blinked, confused at the question that he had just been asked. His response sealed his fate; "Uh, a-as many as I let across the border?" Arnold suddenly stepped to his right, as a hoard of Mexicans, all clad in VOTE DEMOCRAT shirts stormed past him, trampling the poor black man, and knocking him into the meat grinder. They followed, and soon there was enough ground up Mexicans that it would be possible to open a Taco Bell.