Another argument. They seemed to be more common than happy memories lately, and it was breaking both women's hearts. They usually started off over something small, such as why did Franky always have to leave her shoes in the middle of the floor, or why Bridget never bothered to cook anything, but then transgressed into a full-blown row, tears and tantrums. It wasn't as though neither woman didn't love the other, it was just hard to adjust back into the great life they had shared before.
Since Franky's exoneration and release from Wentworth following her most recent stay, everything was different. The couple had endured hell whilst she was locked away, pushing and pulling at each other until they could not fight any longer. Franky had hurt Bridget both physically and mentally, and Bridget had walked away from her woman, her heart crumbling to dust as she did. The love was there, strong, bold and fiery as ever. But the practicalities of the relationship didn't remain. Franky was terrified Bridget would be linked to her and become a target, and Bridget was terrified of Franky losing herself. Both women had spent countless nights crying themselves to sleep and the torment of being away from one another was a physical ache. But when Bridget heard that Franky was a free woman, she made herself a promise that she had to try again.
Franky had hurt her, but Franky was the love of her life. Franky was the light in the dark, and the pleasure in the pain.
Franky had struggled to adjust. Her latest stint inside had changed her, and she had gone from the free-spirited, confident woman to someone rather timid and reclused. She doubted her every move and it pained Bridget to see the lack of life in her. She was plagued with nightmares, and the lack of sleep made her irritable and short-tempered. But Bridget held on, hoping the anxiety and lack of confidence would ebb away slowly.
They argued this morning, just as they did almost every day. It was stupid, really stupid. Franky had taken the day off work as she had promised to take Tess to buy a Christmas tree for her and Bridget's home, and the three of them would decorate it later in the evening. She had arranged to pick her sister up from school, take her for that rubbish Mexican diner dinner that she loved so much, then wait for Bridget to return to decorate the tree. But instead, Bridget had used up the last of the milk and Franky couldn't have her porridge, like she did every single morning since her release.
"Gidge. You know I eat the same thing every day. If you used up the bloody milk you should have replaced it, it's just common sense!"
Bridget sighed, mentally preparing herself for yet another slanging match. It was only milk, she thought. Couldn't Franky have toast?
"Franky, i've been working flat out this week. I'm sorry if such a small thing such as milk crossed my mind."
Franky huffed. "But it's not the milk, really," she began. "It's like you don't care, like it doesn't bother you in the slightest that I might want some."
"Oh, for fuck sake, here we go again," Bridget muttered. "I'm so sorry I forgot the milk. I'm so sorry I forgot to replace the washing powder last week. I'm so fucking sorry for everything!"
"The fuck?" Franky exclaimed. "This is about the milk, not the washing powder!"
"Oh, now it's about the milk? I thought it wasn't a second ago. What is it, Franky? What the fuck have I done now?"
Franky sighed before she bit her tongue. She didn't want to antagonise Bridget, but Bridget just didn't seem to get it. Franky felt as though Bridget just slowly stopped caring; she knew Franky liked to eat the same breakfast each day, it was a small element of control she had in her life. Franky thought it was a given that Bridget knew that. Apparently not.
"It doesn't matter," Franky muttered.
Bridget grunted and grabbed her Prada handbag from the kitchen island. "I need to go, i'm going to be late. I'm working late tonight, I need to make up the hours I missed last week." When you called me during a panic attack and I came running, she resited adding. What had happened to them?
"Tonight?" Franky asked. "Gidge, we're taking Tess to get the tree and we were all supposed to decorate it!"
"Ah, fuck Franky, I totally forgot, i'm sorry," Bridget said, genuinely feeling bad. "I have to work though, I already agreed to it. Can we do tomorrow perhaps?"
"I'll sort something, have a good day." Franky's eye's barely met Bridget's she was so annoyed. Bridget never forgot days out, it just wasn't her. Was this the beginning of the end for them? Bridget left the house and tears welled in Franky's green eyes. She was just desperately sad. She missed her best friend, her sidekick, not the impatient woman she shared a home with. She knew that Bridget was still adjusting, they both were. But if something didn't change she wasn't sure their love would survive. She allowed herself to cry for a moment before she dried her eyes and pulled herself together and in the direction of the shower. Tess had a half-day at school as it was the end of the term, so Franky was going to collect her at 1.30, as arranged, and the two sisters would pick the tree and decorate it, Gidge or no Gidget.
Franky parked her VW Golf in the school car park and made her way to the playground to wait for Tess. She rarely picked up her sister and knew Tess would be itching with excitement to be meeting Franky today after school. Sure enough, she saw the little Doyle run towards her and into her arms for a huge hug.
"Hey kiddo!" Franky said, planting a kiss on Tess's forehead. "You had a good day, huh?"
"Yeah, we gave out Christmas cards and got to eat cake at break time instead of fruit!" The little girl dumped her possessions into the hands of her older sister. "Where's Bridgie?"
"She's working bubs," Franky replied sadly. "But she says she misses you and can't wait to see what tree we get! Are you ready for some lunch then tree shopping?"
Franky's mini-me nodded her head and skipped along next to her sister to the car, where they made their way to Tortilla for some burritos. Franky resited the urge to knock back a couple of tequilas too, still pissed off. She didn't know if she was pissed off with Bridget, or the situation, but she felt down in the dumps. Nevertheless, she painted a smile on her face, feigning excitement for the sake of her sister. She wiped salsa off the chin of the little girl and giggled, the innocent look on her little face warming her heart.
"Ah Tessy, don't grow old, eh?"
Next, they walked around the town centre, picking new baubles and decorations. Tess's current obsession was the colour pink, so Franky let her have one large pink glass bauble with gold glitter surrounding it to hang on the Westfall-Doyle tree. Something told her that Alan had copious amounts of pink decorations on his tree at home, the little girl well able to wrap him around her little finger! Franky also picked out 2 gold baubles that were personalisable and watched as the owner of the stall painted a 'G' and an "F' onto each one. No matter how miserable things were now, surely Christmas Day would bring them back to each other.
"You ready to pick a tree now bubs?" Franky asked, taking the small shopping bag from Tess's hands.
"Yeah! A huge one! And then we can decorate it when we go to your house!"
"That's right!" Franky agreed. "We can make it a surprise from Bridget, I think she would like that." Franky's heart panged slightly, and she sent a quick picture message to Bridget, snapping a photo of Tess next to a huge figure of a polar bear. 'Miss you x', she had added to the photo and she hit send. The duo next went to the Christmas Tree outlet, a wide selection of trees cooling down in the airconditioned area to choose from. Franky spotted the perfect one almost instantly.
"I found it!" She called over to Tess who was mesmerised by the big trees. "What do you think, bubs, is it big enough?" The tree was at least 7 foot, with thick branches, and Franky though how great it would look in the front of the living room. An assistant bundled it up in netting for her and helped her carry it to the car, and the sisters made their way back home for an afternoon of decoration. It needed to be just perfect, Franky thought to herself; she wanted Bridget to love it and for it to thaw the rather frosty relationship they were currently in the midst of. Despite her slimmer stature from being in prison, the brunette was strong, and she managed to heave the tree out of the back of the car and into the Christmas tree stand, securing it firmly in place. Next, she wound fairy lights around the branches, the warm white lighting making the tree glow. Tess, initially enthusiastic about helping her older sister, had given up and was slumped on the sofa, cartoons on the TV. But Franky didn't mind. It meant she could get on with it, without little hands wanting to intrude on her handiwork.
An hour and a bit later, it was all done. Franky stepped back and smiled to herself. It looked perfect. Gold, red and white ornaments adorned the tree and a large gold star took centre stage at the top, illuminated by the fairy lights. The smell of pine emulated from the tree, and it looked truly spectacular.
"What d'ya think Tess?" Franky asked her sister. "Do you think Gidget will like it?"
Tess nodded enthusiastically and wondered over from the sofa to get a proper look. "Wow Franky, it's really pretty! Did you put my new bobble on it?"
"Naw bub, I thought you could do that yourself!" She passed the smaller Doyle her pink bauble and lifted her up so she could place it on the tree.
"Perfect," Franky smiled. She hugged her sister and kissed the back of her head tenderly. "Tell you what, I'll make us some pasta, you watch some TV for a little while then shall we have some stories in bed?" It was early evening by now and Tess would be nearing her bedtime, even if Franky allowed her to stay up a little longer than usual. She returned to the sofa to finish The Flintstones while Franky conjured up a pesto and chicken pasta, something that she knew Tess enjoyed. With her little belly full she began to grow sleepy; Franky knew the tell-tale signs of rubbing her eyes and even though she only had a half-day at school, the 5-year-old was tired.
"Go and jump into bed Tess and choose a book, I'll be up in a second bub." Franky quickly cleared the plates and put the left-overs in a box for Bridget should she want any when she got in. Franky knew as soon as she started reading to Tess she too would probably fall victim to the plush double bed in the spare room, so she scribbled out a note to Bridget, the things she struggled to say out loud:
'Gidge...
I hope you like the tree. I've probably fallen asleep with Tess upstairs if you are reading this!
I'm sorry, for everything. I'm a fool and I don't deserve you, but I love you.
We're gonna work this out because there is no other option. A life without you is no life at all.
Be patient with me please, my readjustment has been difficult but I'm trying.'
She left the note on the island next to the pasta, and went to read Tess her bedtime story.
At around 9 pm, Bridget turned her key in the lock and kicked off her cream heels, exhausted from the 12 hour day. The twinkling lights of the tree caught her eye and she smiled, admiring it. It looked spectacular, she thought; Franky was a creative individual and the tree had fallen victim to her creative talents. She rested her handbag on the kitchen island and she saw Franky's note. A lump formed in her throat as she read it, and she made no effort to stop the tears from cascading down her face. Oh Franky, she thought. She knew Wentworth and the false accusations had changed Franky, but to know she was trying and not being purposefully difficult made Bridget feel awful, especially after this morning. She made her way up the stairs and into the spare bedroom where she knew the Doyle sisters would be. Tess was splayed out on the bed, one little leg sticking out from the covers, and Franky was on her side, one arm draped over Tess; The Famous Five lay in between them, the page turned where they had got up to before giving into the sleep.
Bridget's heart melted and she perched on the edge of the bed, gently stroking the face of her woman. God, she was beautiful, Bridget thought as she watched her, Franky murmured in her sleep and stirred, her eyes slowly opening.
"Gidge," she mumbled. "You're back."
"I'm back, baby. Move over, I wanna hold you for 5 minutes." Franky shuffled towards the middle of the bed and Bridget wrapped herself around the brunette, breathing her in. They lay there together for a few moments, neither woman wanting to be the first to open up their heart. In the end, Franky spoke first.
"You know I love ya, more than anything, even if it doesn't look like it."
"I know baby. I'm sorry I've been a shit these last few months. I didn't know how to help you, so I tried to push you so you'd realise and then come back."
"I'm the shit one," Franky said, embarrassed. They spoke in whispers so not to wake Tess. "I'm so sorry for making everything difficult. It's been really fucking hard, coming back after everything. None of it is your fault, but I took it out on you. I'm sorry Gidge." Franky sniffed back tears and turned around so she was face to face with the woman she loved. "I don't wanna lose you."
Bridget bushed away the stray hairs from Franky's forehead. "You'll never lose me. I meant it when I said I'd wait forever."
Franky closed her eyes and lets the tears fall down, soaking the pillow. Bridget kissed them away tenderly and then rubbed her nose against Franky's. A simple gesture, but one which spoke volumes. Bridget would never give up on her. She failed to see just how much Franky needed her these last few months, but vowed to never miss a thing ever again. They were going to make it, they were going to be alright.
They always were, and they always would be.