Why is this my life?

Summary: Set in late Season 10 ish, Sam is still waiting for Jack, but he isn't waiting for her anymore ... so Sam gets drunk with Vala. S/V friendship, with a bit of Danny thrown in, and if you're a die-hard SJ shipper or Jack fan, don't read it cos you may end up wanting to hurt me and I wouldn't like that very much.

I'm not entirely sure where this came from, I just sat down to write and this is what came out. Hopelessly out of character for Sam, I know, but she can't be totally in control all the time, can she? Or at least I hope not, or the entire premise of this story is shot to bits. Enjoy! (forced and slightly crazed grin!)

Sam slammed the beer glass down with such force a little tidal wave of the golden liquid washed over the side, pooling on the sticky wooden table.

"How is this my life?" She demanded. "How the hell did I end up in one of those loathsome chic-flic movies playing the part of the swooning pathetic female lead?"

The beer – which, incidentally, was her fifth – made another tumultuous journey up towards her mouth, before more of it was sloshed all over the table with the rest in the landing process.

"Honey, maybe you should slow down a bit." Her very recently acquired new best friend and drinking buddy, Vala Mal Doran, said soothingly. She was slightly amused but mostly quite alarmed at her first sight of 'drunk' Sam.

"I wasn't always like this, you know." Sam continued, gesticulating wildly, and attracting quite a lot of attention in the small bar they were sitting in. "I used to have it all figured out. No men, no distractions, no stupid little forbidden unrequited feelings, just work, and science, and flying planes really fast."

She stopped and stared into space for a moment. "I was awesome at that, you know. I was … the best. No one could fly things faster than me." She suddenly sat up straight and grinned at Vala. "Let's go fly something! I bet you've got a tel'tac stashed around here somewhere!"

Vala looked at her like she'd grown an extra head, and forcibly dragged Sam's beer away from her, spreading the pool of it on the table into a long glistening streak. "Samantha. Listen to me." She took Sam's hands and waited till the blonde woman was looking her in the eye. "You are a smart, confident, sexy woman, and you should not be pining for a geriatric washed up military general. There are hundreds of wonderful specimens of Tau'ri manhood out there, and you could do so much better."

Sam suddenly deflated. "But I love him."

"Irrelevant. Trust me, if you both keep to your own sides of the country, you'll be over him in a month. Faster, if you find a hot young thing to replace him with."

"Vala!"

Vala tossed her long black hair back behind her shoulders and thrust her chest out in a move designed to attract the attention of every male in the immediate vicinity. "But not Daniel." She said suddenly, pinning Sam with a warning look. "He's my territory."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Please. He's like a brother to me. And I am not replacing Jack."

Vala sighed impatiently. "Fine, but for the record, I think you've got a shot with Mitchell, and I've seen him with his pants off. If I wasn't saving myself for my Daniel …" She waggled her eyebrows.

Sam glared at her. "I want my beer back."

Her raven haired friend beamed at her. "We can't always get what we want."

"Shut up."

"I think I should get you drunk more often."

"That's not shutting up."

"You're going to hate me in the morning." Vala commented gleefully.

"I hate you right now." Sam mumbled, lowering her head to the sticky beer-soaked table. "Why is this my life?" She asked again, her voice muffled by the table.

Vala cocked her head to one side and studied her companion thoughtfully. "Fine." She sighed. "Have your beer back." She slid it back and left it next to Sam's head.

"Thank you." Sam's hand wrapped around the glass protectively. "At least beer loves me."

Vala burst into a fit of giggles, and stood up, hooking her arm into Sam's elbow to help her up.

"But I haven't finished my beer!" Sam protested weakly.

"I'm taking you home." Vala told her, patting her arm consolingly as they weaved their way to the door. "I'll just call Daniel and have him pick us up."

"No!" Sam gripped Vala's arm in panic. "He can't see me like this! He'll tell Jack!"

"He won't. And anyway, how will he know that you got hopelessly smashed because of Jack?"

"I'm not sure me getting hopelessly smashed for no reason is better."

Vala kicked the door open, and they emerged into the fresh air. "There. You'll sober up out here while we wait for Daniel." She propped Sam up against the wall, and started dialling on her bright pink cell phone.

"Why couldn't I fall for someone like Daniel?" Sam asked no one in particular. "It's not like I never had the opportunity. There was an entire parade of really nice guys, all falling over themselves to have me fall in love with them. But no. I. Am. Pathetic."

"Yes sweety." Vala said absently as she listened to the phone ring.

"Dr Jackson." Daniel's disembodied voice carried itself down the phone line.

"Daniel! It's me. I need a favour."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Daniel complained. Vala checked her watch.

"One thirty-five in the morning." She replied. "Can you come and pick me and Sam up from Baileys?"

"Why?"

"Sam is incredibly drunk … in fact she just slid down the wall, so I don't think it would be legal for her to drive."

"Since when do you care if anything's legal?"

"Daniel." Vala huffed.

"Alright, I'm coming. Be there in twenty minutes."

"Thank you darling." She cooed and slid the phone shut.

"Sam." She prodded the other woman with her toe. Sam groaned and squinted up at her.

"What?"

"If you're going to drink this much on our girls' nights out you should really teach me to drive. In fact, you should do that anyway."

Sam closed her eyes tight shut and hugged her knees, dropping her face into her arms.

Vala sighed, feeling a sting of compassion for her. She slid down to sit beside her, and reached an arm around her shoulders.

"All I'm saying is, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve the very best, and if he can't get his act together after ten years, he's not it."

Sam sniffed, and shifted to bury her face in Vala's shoulder. "It's not fair." She whispered wretchedly.

"I know darling." Vala rested her head on top of Sam's. "I know."

Twenty minutes later, Daniel arrived and found them still sitting on the cold concrete, snuggled against the outside wall of the bar.

"Hey." Vala greeted him tiredly.

"Hey." He crouched down in front of them. "Sam, you awake?"

"Mmm." She replied, and turned her head towards him. "Daniel." She said, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. Come on, I'm here to take you home."

"Home is where the heart is." She responded sagely, sending Vala into another fit of giggles.

Daniel grinned and offered Vala a hand to help her up, before they each took one of Sam's arms and hauled her into the back of Daniel's car.

"This isn't very dignified." Sam complained.

"If you wanted dignified you should have called Teal'c." Daniel told her.

"No, if you wanted dignified, you should have stopped at beer number two." Vala countered, earning a tortured groan from Sam.

A further ten minutes, and they pulled up outside Sam's house. By then, Sam herself was fast asleep, and Daniel watched her for a minute before meeting Vala's gaze.

"Is she ok?" He asked..

Vala frowned, thinking. "She's … lonely, I think."

"Did she say that?" Daniel asked worriedly.

"She's upset about Jack O'Neill." Vala admitted, hoping against hope that Sam wasn't just feigning sleep.

Daniel sighed and slumped back into his seat. "Yeah. That figures."

"Did something happen today?" Vala asked the question she'd been dying to ask Sam all night, but not wanting to upset her friend further, hadn't dared.

"He's been seeing Kerry Johnson again." He told her. When she gave him a blank look, he elaborated. "They dated a couple of years ago, but it ended when Kerry figured out what the deal was with him and Sam."

"Let me just clarify something: he does actually love Sam back, doesn't he?"

Daniel frowned at his hands. "I thought he did. I don't think it's going to work out between them, though. There's too much history, and they're both too stubborn and emotionally backward to make it happen."

Vala regarded Sam thoughtfully. "I told her she should move on and find someone else."

Daniel nodded. "Good luck with that." He told her wryly.

She forced a smile. "I'm going to stay over with her."

"Good idea." He got out of the car, and moved round to Sam's door, carefully sliding her sleeping body out and hefting her in his arms.

"Can you open the door?" He asked Vala, and she rooted around in Sam's purse for the key.

They tucked Sam into bed, minus her high heeled boots, and Daniel left them to it. Vala located an extra blanket, and snuggled up next to Sam on top of the covers, throwing the blanket over herself for warmth, and hoping and praying that in the morning Sam wouldn't remember a thing. She smiled as she threw an arm over the blonde woman, and despite the circumstances, couldn't help but be grateful that she was lucky enough to have found a home on this funny little planet, and found a quirky, complicated but ultimately wonderful friend like Sam.

Please feel free to review. Sorry I was mean to Jack. I love him really, honest :P