Title: Feud Hotel Scene Rewrite
Rating: T for swearing.
One-Shot
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Characters in this story or the song that it is based on. I wish I did. I would totally be richer.
A/N: I started writing this the second Finn stepped out of the bathroom at the end of Feud.
Santana smirked to herself as she heard the hotel room door open. A second later Brody walked in looking as smarmy as ever pulling off his knock-off designer suit jacket.
"Hey Nickie," he said stepping into the room.
Grinning proudly the Latina flipped on the light and turned towards him. "Hey there Deuce Bigalow," the former Cheerio said standing up and crossing her arms in front of her chest, her eyes lighting up at the panicked look on the guy's face.
"Santana…what are you doing here?" Brody asked, his voice already shaking and his eyes wide.
Santana smirked and stepped towards the boy. "Oh Brody, I told you. This is what I do," she said looking him up and down. "Doesn't pay as well as your job, but you can not imagine the immense amount of job satisfaction I have," she growled poking him roughly in the chest.
Instantly the boy's voice turned desperate. "Please I'm not proud of this. You can't tell Rachel."
Santana let out a cool bark of laughter and shook her head. "Oh you shouldn't worry too much about Rachel at this moment. She is going to find out very soon, but you've got a bigger problem right now."
"Oh god you called the cops," Brody guessed already trying to scramble into his jacket.
Suddenly a third voice, this one a smooth as silk mezzo joined the mix. "Oh no," Quinn Fabray said stepping out of the bathroom and fixing the boy with a furious glare. "She called me."
Brody's eyes were wide with confusion and he turned to Santana. "Who?"
Santana laughed as the boy backed away from the pair and they circled him till they were standing side by side. "One thing you should know about loud and rude bitches Brody is that we usually travel in pairs," Santana chuckled as the look in Quinn's eyes became downright deadly. "You two haven't been introduced yet but this is Quinn. Lovely, sweet, and occasionally homicidal Quinn; and my home girl Quinn here is extremely attached to the little loudmouthed brunette that is at this moment riding the elevator up here."
"You crossed the wrong person Brody," Quinn growled stalking towards the boy with an absolutely predatory glint in her eyes.
"I-I've heard of you," Brody stammered obviously deciding to switch tactics. "I know about b-both of you. How t-treated her in High School. She won't believe you."
"Bad move," Santana chuckled even as Quinn surged forwards and put his balls in a death grip.
Brody's eyes were wide with tears as Quinn forced him to look into hers. "Listen to me Manwhore. I sacrificed a lot in my life to make sure that Rachel Berry got her dreams and I am not going to stand by and let some sleazy second-rate wannabe Lothario mess it all up now. She is about to come into this room and you are going to tell her exactly why you're here and then you are going to disappear from her life. Do you understand me?" Quinn's voice remained steady throughout but even Santana felt a chill run up her spine at the sheer viciousness in her voice.
Brody seemed to be hanging on by a straw as large tears rolled down his red face. "What if I d-don't want to?"
"I don't give a fuck what you want!" Quinn barked digging her nails in and forcing a pitiful squeak out of the boy. "Now, do you understand me or do I need to rip off your source of income?"
"I understand," Brody managed to gasp out just as a resounding knock was heard.
"Oh I wonder who that is," Santana said sarcastically as Quinn released the boys balls and he lent over to take a deep breath of air. "Door's open Berry," Santana called out when Quinn joined her by her side and Brody stood up to wipe away his tears.
"Santana why did you want me to meet you in a hotel room? Are you staying here or something? Is this about my comforter?" Rachel asked before walking into the room and staring wide eyed at the scene before her. "Quinn…Brody…what?"
"Oh Mr. Ed can clear up why he and Quinn have joined us can't he?" Santana asked crossing her arms and glaring at the boy.
He seemed to falter for a moment before Quinn flexed her hand at her side menacingly. "She was right about me Rachel," Brody groaned turned and looking at the shorter brunette. "I…I've been lying to you."
"What are you talking about Brody?" Rachel asked, her voice wavering slightly.
"Tell her why you came here," Quinn ordered her voice lethally calm as she stepped next to Rachel and put an arm over her shoulder.
"Look you have to understand-" the boy started only to be interrupted by Quinn.
"She doesn't have to understand anything. Tell her why you came here now," the blonde snapped, her face turned red with fury.
Brody sighed before picking up his jacket and staring down at the material. "I came here because I thought I was meeting up with a client."
"What…what kind of client?" Rachel asked, her voice already thick with tears and her body starting to tremble.
"A female client. I…I…women pay me to have sex with them," Brody mumbled, his eyes frozen on his jacket.
The room was deadly silent for a moment before Rachel covered the distance between her and the boy in two strong steps and slapped him with every bit of force she had in her body. "How dare you!" She yelled. "How dare you let me throw out one of my best friends! How dare you tell me that you love me!"
"But I do!" Brody yelled staggering backwards from the force of the hit and holding his already bruising cheek.
"Get out! I want you out of my apartment and out of my life!" Rachel screamed slapping his other cheek as tears poured down her face. "And if I ever try to talk to me again I will go straight to Carmen Tibideaux and tell her what kind of man you are!" The brunette landed one more slap before bursting out into a loud sob and throwing herself on the bed.
In a flash Quinn was next to her pulling her tightly against her chest and glaring at the horrified looking boy.
"Come with me Manwhore," Santana said digging her nails into his shoulder and pulling him towards the door. "Yous and me is gonna head back to the apartment where you're gonna explain yourself to Porcelain and then get your shit out or have it thrown out."
"Hey Brody," Quinn called out as she pulled Rachel into her lap and tightened her arms around her. "Make sure you keep that pager on you. I'm taking her to a doctor tomorrow and if you've given her one single thing you're gonna answer to me."
Santana let out a bark of laughter before kicking the boy out into the hall and turning to look at the blond. "You got this Captain?"
Quinn just nodded and pulled the brunette impossibly tighter against her. Only when the door clicked shut and locked behind them did Quinn start whispering into Rachel's ear. "Hey it's okay I've got you," she murmured scooting them further back onto the bed and leaning back against the headboard. "I'm going to take care of you," she whispered kissing the smaller girl's temple softly.
About five hours later Rachel walked into her apartment with Quinn's arms firmly around her, utterly spent from sobbing so hard. Kurt and Santana were sat silently on the couch drinking wine and they instantly turned to look at them.
"We're gonna go to bed," Quinn whispered glancing around the apartment for any sign of Brody.
"Sleep well," Santana whispered as Quinn led an exhausted Rachel out of the room.
"I owe you an apology," Kurt said setting down his glass and looking furtively at the Latina.
"You do," Santana said shrugging a little. "But I figure we'll let this one slide as long as you promise never to doubt my street smarts again. Like I said you two are family now whether you like it or not."
"Oh joy," Kurt sighed sarcastically rolling his eyes before glancing in the direction of Rachel's room where they could hear Quinn softly singing to the brunette. "Is this what I think it is?"
"I think it is," Santana said nodding and staring down at her wine. "Today wasn't just a wake up call for Berry. Quinn about shit herself when I clued her into what was going on."
"It's about time," Kurt mumbled shaking his head. "I knew something was up in High School and I figured Quinn would make a move when Finn and Rachel split up."
"Yeah I love the girl but she can be fucking slow at times," Santana chuckled shaking her head. "Now Porcelain lets say you and me get some sleep."
"That sounds like a plan," Kurt said slapping the couch and standing up to stretch. "Hey Santana…I talked to Unique yesterday."
"And," Santana asked tensing up.
"And she said that Sam and Brittany don't look like they're gonna work. They don't even sit next to each other any more," he whispered before leaning over and kissing the top of the girl's head. "And for what it's worth Satan, I think it's gonna work out for you. Real love finds a way."
Santana was silent for a moment before she sat down her wine glass and looked up at the boy. "Thank you Kurt. For what it's worth I hope you find your happiness. Whether it's with Blaine or Adam," she whispered.
Kurt nodded and squeezed his shoulder before disappearing into his own bedroom, his eyes just slightly watery with tears. Santana sighed and pulled her purse into her lap. Glancing once around the empty room she pulled out a worn picture of her and Brittany in their Cheerio uniforms and stretched out on the couch, her eyes drooping shut as Quinn unknowingly sang the apartment to sleep.