Hello here is a new story I had while reading some other fictions.
The day the Shivering Isles become boring is the day that Haskill in his infinite wisdom knew that he had to do something or things would grow bad quickly.
"My lady if I may suggest you should go take a walk among the mortals like you did in the days of the former Master?" Haskill suggested walking over to the throne of madness where the 'new' Sheogorath was lying over the arm rests of the throne. By 'new' she was new by his standards but to everyone else she was an age old leader of the Isles.
"While that sounds like a good idea sadly I'm more needed here to stop those two idiots from destroying the Isles with their petty squabbles." Sheogorath AKA Barbara said gesturing to the Dukes of Mania and Dementia that were sitting in their respective throne rooms talking with their councils.
"While normally I would agree with you on this point this time I have to say you need this because if you haven't noticed things are getting duller and duller around here because you are becoming sane." Haskill said gesturing around the halls which Barbara had noticed becoming more and more like it was when order had invaded.
"Yes I had noticed but if I leave they will more than likely destroy the Isles not to mention Molag Bal is meant to be visiting to discuss the new race he wanted to make." Barbara said getting off the throne and summoning a cup and filling it with water from the font of madness and downing it one gulp making the room seem a bit brighter.
"For the two Dukes just give me some power to allow me to keep the spells working and Molag is meant to visit in a few hours more than enough time for you to get ready then have the meeting then leave to enjoy the mortal word for some time." Haskill said like he was reading off a list then again he always a stick in the mud.
"Right great idea. Haskill I as Sheogorath give you all the power that I can convey to keep the lands safe." A faint glow appeared around Haskill and Barbara felt the spells falter then renew. "Call for me when Molag arrives and tell him this time not to eat the servers, replacing them is annoying."
"Yes my lady." Haskill said bowing slightly before taking his place on the right hand of the throne while she teleported to her room.
Meanwhile in Barbara's master room she was grabbing her staff she had crafted after the old staff broke during her fight with Jyggalag except this one was slightly different in that it was made from a rare metal that someone had found buried under the palace near the roots of madness it was strong as the strongest metal and light as a feather and Haskill being what he is managed to weave it into her suit making it indestructible to anything from the mortal plane and with the last of the metal made a sword that she placed the spell of madness of it giving it the ability to change into anything.
"So I have my sword my staff my suit actually I should store those in my personal space..." Barbara mumbled to herself sending the two items along with a few hundred thousand gold she had found in the vaults her predecessor had collected liking it because it was shiny into her void.
"My lady, Lord Molag Bal has arrived and is waiting in your study for you." Haskill said appearing behind her.
"Ah thank you! Tell him I will be out in a moment." Barbara said waving him out while she was looking through her chests and closets for anything she though she would need then teleporting into the study where she was met by the sight of a giant lizard faced man who was holding one of her servers about to eat it but stopping when 'he' saw Sheogorath enter the room.
"Sheogorath good to see you again!" Molag Bal said throwing the server against the wall and ran to where Barbara was standing and gave her a massive hug that broke her back killing her.
Which made her 'dead' body vanish in a purple glowing summoning circle that re-appeared a few metres away with her 'alive' again.
"Please Molag my friend if your going to hug me please don't kill me it's annoying to have to re-construct my body every time I die." Barbara said brushing off her shoulders with a grin. "Or if you do want to kill me with hugs then at least be ready to take a jump of the hill of suicide."
"Ha this is why I love visiting you your madness is always fun now on to business. You said you may know a way to cure my vampires of their madness?"
"Yes! No! Wait, yes! I do have a way turn someone who is already mad and it will the double madness will and make them sane or super mad making them extra powerful which is good none the less or make a new breed that feeds on sanity from blood so every time they feed they become more sane and the person they drank from insane which is a win-win for both of us!" Sheogorath said pacing the room and walking up the walls and finishing her rant being of the ceiling with a maniac grin.
"Well that could work but it helps you more than me so what can you offer me to make this new breed of vampire?" Molag said straining to look up at Sheogorath who was now sitting at one of the tables on the roof pouring some tea that somehow ended up in the cup which made Molag wonder if collaborating with the princess of madness was the best choice.
"Well I'll offer you one thousand souls from the reverse pit of order!" Making those who heard her cower away.
"Ok and where is this pit of order and why are your people afraid of it?" Molag asked looking at the servers who were cowering from her words.
"Well it's a pit filled with the last members of orders army I stuck in the hole and offered a job as a prison for idiots who tried to take stuff from my realm without my permission. As for its location it's on the very south of the Isles. Let's go there!" Sheogorath said teleporting both her and Molag to the tip of the pit which was a very deep hole lined with crystals of order and with sentries every few feet down.
"That's an impressive hole. Heh." Molag said with a laugh.
"Lady Sheogorath what brings you and this... person here?" One of the guards asked in a monotone voice.
"I need one thousand souls to give to Molag here!" Barbara said her voice getting louder with each word.
"One thousand souls. It shall be done." With that he vanished and a bright yellow soul gem appeared in her hand with the one thousand souls in it.
"Here you go! Now to get them out you need a goat three chickens and a head of lettuce" Sheogorath said throwing the yellow gem to him.
"Hah you always knew how to make things simple and interesting!" Molag laughed out before being teleported back to the palace by Sheogorath where a new portal had appeared which in a land of bright colours and crazy looked very out-of-place considering it was a giant stone circle with what looked like fire inside it. "Thanks for this, those new vampires who make people insane will be sent out at once! Also you're welcome in my realm any time." He said before walking through the portal which moved to a wall when he was done walking through.
"Good times that was... Now on to more interesting things is my portal to Nirn still there?" Barbara asked Haskill who only nodded. "Right see you later remember call me if you need help." She ended before teleporting to the old gate and taking in the sights of the Isles before walking through.
"Sir the portal is acting up, from reports it appears to be opening." A scout said to a man garbed in a black robe with faded gold trimming.
"Good send a small dispatch of five men to the portal ready to 'greet' what ever comes from it." The man in the gold and black robe said back in a firm voice making the scout give a salute and run to find the men.
"This shall be interesting." The black and gold garbed man said looking over at the last pages from the bastard Emperor Martin during the Oblivion Crisis which talked of a girl entering the portal and returning weeks later very different but not saying what lay on the other side.
When Barbara walked out of the portal she found the island the old Sheogorath had created to be very different.
Gone was the lush mad chunk of land as it was replaced by wooden floors and walls and five men pointing various spells and swords at her.
"Hello gents if I may ask what happened to the island that was here?" This made the men take up a more angry combat stance. "Ok so you guys are not nice so I take it a lot of time has passed since my last trip." She dead panned.
"Well that depends was the last time you visited during the Oblivion Crisis or ten years after that or fifty after that?" A strange man wearing some robes she didn't recognise said walking in front of the men.
"Um maybe that depends on why you want to know." Barbara said edging back to the portal slightly.
"I am Ouraborn chief of this base on behalf of the Thalmor and am placing you under arrest till we can identify what is on the other side of this portal and if it's a threat to us." He said shooting a spell of binding at her she quickly broke out from.
"Now that's not nice you could have just asked nicely but first let me close my portal." She said clicking her fingers making the portal return to a state of inactivity.
"You have no right to tamper with magical artefacts of this nature!" One of the men holding the sword yelled at her aiming it her neck.
"Now now if it's her portal she is with in rights to close it but must re-open it if asked my me. Now if you could please come with me I have some questions." The man said opening the door and gesturing for his men to stand down.
"Ok but only if you have cheese." She said walking out of the room following the man into a very nice looking office but the first thing she saw was a plate of cheese.
"Now that is out-of-the-way what is your name?" Ouraborn asked slightly amused by her devouring of the cheese.
"Well that depends do you want my old name or my new name?" She asked through a mouthful of cheese.
"Humour me give me both to make record checking easier."
"Well my old name was Barbara but my new name I got around a few hundred years ago is Sheogorath. Daedric Prince of Madness." Barbara said in a fashion close to jester.
"Clearly your mad so now thanks to that we know now we don't want to pass through this portal as it seems who ever walks through it mad so we should destroy it. Guards take her to caravan that is leaving now for Skyrim." He said no longer amused.
"I may be mad but I know what you're doing is not legal!" Barbara said jumping up in rage about to call her sword till she was grabbed by two guards who bound her hands and dragged her to a waiting caravan.
"You are being taken to Skyrim where you will be executed with the stormcloak traitors in the name of the Thalmor. Good bye." He said and she just allowed it to happen because no matter how this played out it would end well for her.
Next chapter things start to be fun.