Disclaimer: All of the following Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, of course. Just borrowing them.

A/N: I know some of you will wonder where this crazy idea came from. Well, I was extremely bored at work and asked Snapeswidow for a prompt. She gave me the following one: "Harry and Draco get into an argument. You must use 10 Yo Mama jokes." So, you can thank her for all this craziness. And, yes, this could be set in Summer Series, but I didn't write it for any specific universe, though. The only other thing to keep in mind is that Harry and Draco have been adopted by Severus, but I think I state that in the fic. Either way, enjoy.

Stomping through their rooms in the damp semi-dark dungeons, the two adolescent boys angrily tossed their drenched outer robes onto the green sofa as they stormed past it, leaving a trail of thick mud behind them. Each one wore a look of pure hatred on his face. In fact, they didn't so much as look at one another (or, for that matter, the adult couple in the sitting area) as the boys continued towards their separate bedrooms. A second later, the sound of two identical doors slamming echoed throughout the empty quarters.

"What in the world?" whispered the woman, moving quickly to follow the boys. A gentle hand on her arm stopped her, though.

"Let them go," the man replied, frowning at the now closed doors. Without a shred of doubt, they knew that trouble was brewing.

Some time later, the rich smells of dinner filled the air. As a result, two bedroom doors slowly opened. Each of the boys, one blond and the other dark-haired, peeked their heads out and glanced at one another. Green eyes met gray. Without a word, they turned away from one another and headed towards the large table that had food already set out for them. They didn't see either of their guardians around.

When the dark-haired boy sat down a moment later, the blonde glared.

"That's where I sit, Potter!" the blond growled

"Is it now?" dryly replied the dark-haired boy before he scoffed.

"Get out of my chair, Potter! I mean it!"

Again, the dark-haired boy scoffed, taking a sip of his glass of water. "Well, jeez, Draco. If you're going to cry about." He then patted his lap with a cheeky smirk. "You can always sit here, if your chair means that much to you."

The blonde's mouth dropped before his gray eyes narrowed into slits.

When Draco finally spoke a few moments later, it was in a calm, collected manner. "Is that right? Taking after Mother dearest, are we, Harry?" he drawled.

Harry blinked. "Huh?"

"Oh, you didn't know?" Draco forced a thin smile. "Your mother is the reason Dumbledore turned gay."

Harry's jaw clenched. "Oh, yeah? Well, your mother is so old that she used to babysit Dumbledore."

"What? That's not even possible, Potter!" Draco argued. "My mother's five years older than Severus. Unless you're calling him old…"

Harry's face lost a bit of his coloring as his green eyes rapidly darted about the room for any sign of the Potions Master, who had a sinister reputation about him. And who also was the two boys legal guardians.

"So, ha. Try to top that, Potter!"

"Well, then, you know what? Your mother is so stupid she drowned in a pensieve, Malfoy."

Draco glared. "Oh, yeah? Your mother is so ugly that even a Dementor wouldn't kiss her."

"My mother's dead, so there!"

Rolling his eyes, Draco snorted. "What a comeback, Potter. Truly wonderful."

"Fine! But everyone knows how your mother is so dumb because she once thought she'd talk to snakes with parsley on her tongue."

"That was one time, Potter, and she was drunk. Unlike your mother, who was so loose that she'd let anyone enter her 'Chamber of Secrets."

Harry winced. "Oh, yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid she thinks Sirius is a hip-hop station on satellite radio?"

"On what-a radio?"

"Exactly," Harry said with a nod and wide smile. It sometimes paid being raised by Muggles every now and then.

"Well, your mother was so poor that she couldn't afford a Gringotts' account."

"She didn't need one, so there!"

Draco rolled his eyes.

"And you know what, Malfoy? Your mother was so loose that every pair of her panties had the Dark Mark on them."

"Of course they did. That was the way Father liked them."

"Ew."

"Well, you went there first, Potter, not me," Draco said with a shrug.

"Stuck-up snob."

"Priss." Draco then scoffed. "And you know what, Potter? I know the real reason you survived that night in Godric's."

"Oh, yeah? Why?"

"Because your mother was so ugly that the Dark Lord took one look at her and killed himself."

"DRACO LUCIEN MALFOY!" a booming voice yelled behind the blonde.

Draco's eyes widened, as did Harry's. Both boys gulped before they glanced at the furious man.

"Hey, Dad," the two boys said softly, using their best innocent voices.

"Rooms, now!" the man hissed, clearly not a bit amused with them.

"Yes, sir." Quietly, they headed for their rooms.

Draco, however, paused when he reached his guardian. Cautiously, he glanced up. "I didn't mean Aurora, Severus. Honest. It was just a game we were playing."

"Rooms. Now." Draco hung his head once more. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry."

So much for that game.