She's beautiful. Breathtaking.
She comes silently, six minutes after midnight.
Maura wakes from her slumber in time to see the figure bend low over Jane's bed, as if to kiss her.
"Who are you?" She says, standing quickly enough that the hospital armchair skids a little. "How did you get in here?"
The woman straightens and looks at Maura, and the doctor gasps. Caught between waking and sleep, between panic and resignation, Maura looks at the woman in front of her, and the word pops into her mind of it's own volition.
Devil.
In front of her, the woman smiles, tight lipped. "Yes," she whispers, and her voice is like a hiss. "Very good, doctor."
Maura shakes her head. "Whoever you are. You have to leave now. You're not supposed to be here."
The woman flexes her shoulders, like she's preparing for something. "True," she concedes. "Call me...an opportunist."
"Who are you?" Maura's eyes flicker to the call button lying near Jane's hand.
The woman sighs. "You know who I am. And it won't do any good to call anyone. They'll just see you talking to yourself...though, who could blame you, your brilliant young detective cut down in the dawn of her career by an asshole blowing a stop sign?"
Maura gapes, open mouthed. "How did you...who are-"
The woman sighs heavily, "Honestly, Maura, are you going to make me say it? I'm the devil. Shall I grow the tail for you? Would it make it easier to accept? I can do the goatee as well, though I've never liked how it makes my face look." She looks away from Maura's stunned face and down into Jane's serene one. "Now," she says softly. "What to do about this one." she reaches out and drags a finger down Jane's cheek. "She's going to die," she says softly, lovingly.
The brunette whimpers softly in her sleep.
"Don't," Maura manages, anger flaring inside of her at once. "She isn't...she has her whole life ahead of...She was just made detective...She...How could you know that?" Panic and confusion and fear are stealing her coherence. "You don't know that," she repeats.
"Oh," The woman says, her voice all fake concern and sympathy. "I do, Dr. Isles. I know that she is going to die. Tomorrow morning. Before you wake up and are able to kiss her and tell her you love her."
Maura feels hollowed out by this statement. She tries to kick herself into rationality - this cannot be happening - but something inside of her, stronger than anything else, simply believes.
"She'll be gone," the woman, the devil, continues. "Unless you do something about it."
They stand there, on either side of Jane's bed, and Maura stares down at the woman she loves, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She knows, there is a part of her that must know, that this is not real, and yet…
She'll be gone. Unless you do something about it.
Maura looks up.
"Why you?" she finds herself asking in place of all the better questions still circling in her head. "Why you instead of…" she pauses. She cannot bring herself to say the word, but the woman across from her nods, understanding.
"We flipped a coin," she says, and when she smiles, her teeth are bright and sharp in the darkness.
Maura frowns. "Is that the truth?"
The other woman cocks her head, her smile growing wider. "You're asking me if I'm telling the truth?"
"So it's not then."
"No. It's not. I enjoy needling you. I know that you hate it."
Maura looks away from the bright eyes, feeling her frustration rising. "It is a cruel thing to do. Under the circumstances."
"You seem to forget your company often, Dr. Isles," she replies, and there is a hiss at the end of Maura's name that makes her shudder. She should not be so surprised. It only makes sense that the devil would be omniscient as well.
"So you've come to tell me you'll spare her," She says, and when the devil beckons the doctor around the corner of Jane's hospital bed, Maura surprises herself by obeying. She leads them to the doorway, and points out into the hall. But when Maura looks, she does not see the tiled floor, and the nurses station she is used to. She stares open mouthed. She is looking into her dining room, the table dimly lit, with two chairs at either end.
The woman steps closer, and whispers in her ear. "I've come to tell you I'll consider it. For a price." She moves over to the table, but she doesn't sit. Maura glances back over her shoulder, to where Jane is still asleep in her hospital bed. Then she takes a breath, and crosses the threshold.
"That seems benevolent," she says, turning to fix the other woman with a hard stare. "That seems merciful, which would be out of character...if you are who you claim to be."
"You haven't yet heard the things I will accept for her life."
A chill runs up Maura's spine into her hairline. "Don't you only want her soul?"
The devil laughs. Maura thinks fleetingly that she is beautiful. "Come now, Dr. Isles, you can't honestly believe that when she dies...if she dies, that I would be the one to lay claim to her soul."
"So it's my soul you want?"
The other woman frowns, reaching out to tap her nails against the wood of Maura's dining room table. "Do you know what I hate about stereotypes?" She says conversationally. "They are hard to outrun...even for someone like me."
Maura crosses her arms, some of her rational thought coming back to her. This is a dream, she thinks. This must be a dream. There is no such thing as heaven, and there is no such thing as hell.
"I know what you're thinking," the woman says softly, and this time when she smiles, she shows her teeth. They are bright white in the dim light, and sharp like a shark's. "I know what your highly logical, scientific brain is thinking, Dr. Isles. But you knew who I was when you woke up and saw me. You knew it...before I even said it. It's the truth."
Maura looks over her shoulder at Jane's form again. She makes a decision. "Alright," she says slowly, "But, if you're telling me you have no interest in either of our souls, then I am afraid I am at more of a loss than when you arrived. You claim that it is not an act of mercy, yet you show up here and you offer to spare her. You say that you would not have any right to her soul, but for me to save it, I have to offer you something...Do you see my dilemma?"
"I do," she replies at once, "It tickles me."
Maura's chill is replaced by irritation very quickly. "You are-" she begins, but her guest cuts her off, looking sourly disinterested.
"Yes. I am." She taps the table a little harder this time, her fingers leave a mark, like a burn. "Should we get to it? I'm not in the mood to stay much longer."
Maura takes another step towards the visitor, away from Jane. Jane. If this is real...if the doctor is not dreaming, then she now has a chance to save...
"You know," Maura says, coming closer still to the table. "I wish that she'd been awake to hear you say that."
The woman raises an eyebrow. "Say what?"
"That if she were to die tonight, she wouldn't be damned to where you live."
"Damned is such a harsh word," the woman replies, though she doesn't look too put out. "I've never liked it. It's not all that bad...where I live."
Maura closes her eyes for a moment. "I imagine, fire and brimstone...Sisyphus and his rock...Prometheus and his chains."
"Oh...you're not far off then. Listen, are you going to offer me something for her or not?"
Maura shakes her head. "You can have anything that it is in your power to take. I cannot imagine going on without her."
This declaration earns the doctor a sneer. "You say that like you can see the future."
"I can...when I'm with Jane."
"And you would give it up to save her?"
"If you're asking if I would trade places with her, than the answer is a resounding yes. I would give up my life for Jane in a heartbeat. If that's what you came to ask, then there really is no more need to talk. Take it now and be done."
Silence for a moment, and then the woman sits down in one of the chairs. Maura sees that she is frowning. "I don't want your soul."
"I was speaking about my life. My mortal life."
"Your mortal life, your mortal soul. There is no difference for me. The pieces of you that are left over when you die. I don't want them."
Maura takes a step closer, watching as the devil twirls her long hair around a thing finger. "What do you want then?"
The woman's eyes get far away. "Disorder. Pain. Longing…" She licks her lips. "Chaos."
Maura shudders at the way she says this last word. "And if you take my life," she says, "you only get my soul."
"Not if you die tonight, no. Not even that."
It takes Maura a moment to understand the implications behind this statement, but when she does, she is heartened. "Ah," she says, feeling bolder. "So that's why you're not interested. You don't have claim over my soul either."
This seems to rankle her visitor. She slams her hand down on the wood of Maura's table, and the place where her skin touches smokes a bit. "Do you know what I am capable of, Maura Isles?" she asks. She dips her head and lifts her eyes, giving the effect of an animal about to strike.
Maura does not allow herself to feel intimidated. "I assume great and terrible things."
"Don't mock me," the woman snarls. "I have an ability that the Queen Bee herself can't even dream of."
For a moment, the doctor is confused, and then, "You're both women," she says into the silence. "I don't know why that surprises me so much."
"Well, yes...and no. I am all woman," the devil says suggestively. "You're right about that." She stops there, not bothering to elaborate.
"And…" Maura prompts, and again, she cannot bring herself to say the word.
Her companion sighs, like she's bored. "She's all things. Anything she wants to be...the bitch. Usually a brunette. Dark brown, full and soft and so smooth. Not unlike your detective actually. Only she's usually got the blue eyes. Sparkly as any diamond you've ever seen. I've never known a man to resist her. Or a woman for that matter." She stops, looking caught. "Where was I?"
"We were speaking about your abilities." Maura says, because the description has made her uncomfortable as well. "You asked if I knew what you were capable of."
"Yes!" The gleam comes back to the woman's eye. "Yes...what I'm capable of. I can see everything."
Maura nods, though it is not because she understands. "And that is an ability that your...counterpart does not possess?"
"Yesss. Is it not obvious? Her blindspot? Her weakness? She sees only your good. She sees only the path you are meant to be taking. Kind to others, caring, helpful, all of that bullshit that Sesame Street taught you. She sees you carry it through your life. She sees every soul like Mother fucking Theresa." The devil looks disgusted.
Maura's attention is caught. "So my sins?" she asks, taking another step forward.
The woman shrugs. "Never sees 'em"
"Not one?" Maura presses.
"Not a one...She fully expects to see you, Maura, December 19th 2065. She expects to hug you. Welcome you...How she cries when some of you don't show up."
"2065?" This date hits Maura like a bullet to the ribcage, and the devil recognizes her mistake at once.
"Oh...shit...I always forget that it's a surprise. Well, I'll wipe that out before I go, alright? No need ruin all the fun."
Maura takes a steadying breath. Dream or no dream, she is commited now. She has a purpose. "But you can see everything?" she asks.
"Everything. Every slip you could make. Every path you could take. Where do you think your confessions go? Where do you think all the confessions go?"
"It is generally believed that God hears them." Maura answers.
"God!? It would kill him. Metaphorically speaking of course. There'd be no more rainbows. No more puppy breath or snow angels. Everybody's Kraft Macaroni and Cheese would taste like shit."
"I was unaware that God was responsible for those things." The doctor interjects.
The woman rolls her eyes. "Everyday miracles, Dr. Isles. He's responsible for all the things that make you smile."
"And what are you responsible for?"
The smile returns, sinister and sharp as it was before. "All the things that make your stomach drop," she whispers.
"So...we could go either way, is what you're saying," Maura says, and for some reason this notion comforts her, that between pure and vile, there can be so much grey. "And he...she'd...God, would never find out?"
Another shrug. "She would. Eventually. And then...let me tell you, the waterworks."
"For me?"
"For all."
"For Jane?"
"For sure."
It comforts Maura and it strengthens her. She steps up the the table. She doesn't look back at her girlfriend asleep behind her. "If I don't care," she says, "if I am still willing to do anything it takes to keep her here...what path would that put me on?"
"Tricky...too tricky to say Dr. Isles. So selfless, and yet so selfish. You're such a complex, interesting human. She doesn't make many like you anymore."
"My mother used to say I belonged in a different time."
"Well, there's your proof." The devil is sounding disinterested again. "Now. What is it going to be?"
"I've already told you. I'm willing to do anything. I would give anything," Maura replies
"Then stop standing there like you are not going to sit down and anti up." She gestures to the chair across from her, and Maura pulls out the chair, not thinking that she imagines the way the overhead light flickers and dims.
"You're the devil," she says, finally. "How can I trust anything you say?"
The woman grins, and this time, her tongue slides out, between her teeth forked, and serpentine. "You can't," she whispers silkily. "But you have to try for her...don't you?"
There is no argument.
With a curt nod, Maura sits down.
…...
They talk, and talk...and talk. Maura hears her voice go hoarse, she feels her eyes start to burn. They talk for hours and hours, and both become heated, cool off, and start the process over.
Finally. It is done.
The devil stands up, and Maura follows suit, slowly. She feels like she has aged twenty years.
"I don't have to ask if you're sure," the woman says, and when Maura looks at her, she realizes she looks different. She can't put her finger on why. "I don't have to ask if you're sure. I could just snap my fingers and it's done, and no taking it back."
Maura shakes her head, tucking her hair behind her ears with both hands. "You don't need to ask if I'm sure. I am."
The woman stares at her with an expression that she cannot read. "You've weighed everything, I suppose."
Maura looks up in surprise. This does not seem like something the devil would say following a victory. "Don't you hope I haven't?" she asks suspiciously. "Don't you long for chaos?"
Maura watches as the other woman's eyes go dark and hungry. Lustful. "More than anything," she hisses, and the doctor nods tiredly. "Then this should suit you. This should suit you just fine."
She turns her back on her guest, and waits for the deal to begin. Seconds tick by. Nothing happens.
When she turns, to see if the devil has gone, she sees that she is still standing there, staring. Maura realizes what's different now. The other woman is smaller now, diminished. No...Maura stares harder. She is not just smaller, she is younger as well.
"You," she says, alarmed, "You're-"
"You'll both suffer," the devil, a young woman now, cuts her off. "Every day, a little death."
Maura blinks. This definitely sounds like a warning. "What?"
"But sudden death...to go," she snaps "Like that? Painless."
Maura shakes her head. "Not for those who survive the dead."
The devil licks her lips, clearly a little bit thrown. "This will cause," she takes a deep, shuddering breath that feels raw and wanting. "So much chaos."
Maura has had enough. She has made her decision. "Then what are you waiting for?" She says, voice rising. She lifts her arms out away from her, waiting for the rest of her house to swim into view, as they've agreed. "Why haven't you begun? Call down your dark and be damned!"
She slams her fist on the table, and like she's hit a fuse box, all light is extinguished from the room. She stands for a moment in the complete darkness, ears ringing a bit, throat raw from yelling after so many hours of talking.
Has it started? Will the bargain hold true?
.
"Maura?"
The doctor closes her eyes against the sound, barely daring to breathe.
"Maur, what are you doing out here, in the dark? Who are you yelling at, sweetheart?"
Maura doesn't turn around, she doesn't dare. "Jane?" her voice sounds strained and tearful.
"Yes, honey. What is it? What's wrong?" The voice draws nearer, and Maura takes a step forward, away from the detective, her thighs bumping into the dining room chair.
"No!" She says quickly. "No, don't touch me. If you touch me, I'll begin to cry, and if I start to cry, you might not believe me when I tell you what I want."
Silence, and Maura can practically hear Jane's mind working.
"You're scaring me," Jane says softly. "Maura, you're scaring me."
"Please. Can you...can you just trust me, Jane? Stay where you are."
A tight, nervous sigh. "Okay," Jane says softly. "Anything you want, Maura."
Maura closes her eyes again, wrapping her arms around herself. "I love you so much. Do you know that?" It's not what she wants to say. She's wasting time. Precious time.
"I love you too, beautiful."
"I need to tell you what I want. I need you to see if you can...give me what I want tonight, Jane."
"Name it," Jane replies at once, and she sounds scared, but resolute. "Name it, Maura. Anything."
"Come here," Maura whispers, and at once, Jane's arms are around her, pulling her close, spinning her around.
"Take me to bed," Maura says. "Please."
Jane obeys at once, picking the Medical Examiner up like she is nothing, and carrying her back through the house.
It is how they spend the rest of the night together, under Maura's whispered instruction, and when the sun starts to drain all the ink from the sky, Jane falls back against the pillows, breathing hard. Maura follows, pressing their foreheads together, trying not to cry.
What was it she'd said?
Every day a little death.
"Dream about this," She whispers to Jane. "Please dream about this, and please let it comfort you."
Jane blinks sleepily, sliding her arms around Maura's waist.
"Don't have to," she slurs, consciousness starting to abandon her. "Got the real thing."
"I love you so, so much Jane," Maura says, "I love you. I would do anything in the world for you. Please remember that. Please." She presses a kiss to the detective's mouth, greedy, wishing for just one more.
"Love you too, Maur," Jane says. But then she is asleep.
And she doesn't kiss back.
…
…
The next day is overcast and chilly. Maura sits up in bed, fully awake six minutes before her alarm. She looks at the empty space next to her in bed. She runs a hand through her hair, trying not to recall her conversations from last night, trying to pretend it was all a dream. That all of it, from the accident to the visit was one long, terrible dream.
She cannot quite convince herself. The devil woman's voice in her head is insistent. Their last exchange is still fresh in her mind.
…
….
"She'll still love you. You'll still love her."
"But?"
"You won't take her."
"I don't understand."
"You will love her with all the ferocity I can see in your face at this very moment. And she will love you equally, with everything she has. But when she comes to you...No matter how many times she comes to you...you will not take her. You won't be able to. You'll live every day knowing that you are the one who could make her happy. And you won't be able to."
"She won't remember us together?"
"Not exactly, no. She'll remember her feelings for you. A ghost of the way you feel against her. Nothing more."
"And I won't be able to tell her?"
"No."
"What kind of hell is that?"
"Your own personal. It is the 21st century Dr. Isles. I can custom make them now."
"You'll take nothing else?"
"Nothing else."
"...Then give me. Give me one more night with her. Heal her now. Please."
"On the day you wake up, she will be healthy. I make no promises about her future, immediate or otherwise."
"So she could still get injured? She could still die?"
"I am not the harbinger of death, nor am I the goddess of immortality. You have to choose. Death now, death later. There is no alternative."
"One night with her. Healthy and whole in all ways. Please."
"Two hours."
"Eight."
"Six. Final offer."
"Deal."
…
…
Maura's phone buzzes, and she shakes herself, picking it up off the bedside table, her heart skipping a beat when she sees Jane's name.
I don't get it, Maura. I care for you so much. I love you.
Maura stares at the words for a long time. They raise her up. They drown her.
She opens the message and begins to type. She knows exactly what she wants to say. I love you too, Jane. Whatever I said, I'm sorry. Her fingers don't obey her. They tap their own letters into the little box. They spell out awful words. They lie. I can't return your sentiments. I don't feel the same. She erases and tries again, speaking as she types. "I...can't...be with you…" her voice is her own but those are not the words she wants to say. They are on her tongue as if by magic...as if…
She looks down at her screen. She has typed. I can't be with you. I don't feel the same.
"No," she whispers, and in her head, a silky, feminine voice says, yes.
Maura watches her finger press send. She watches the little bubble that says Jane is typing appear, and then disappear, pause, and reappear again.
Finally a new message pops up.
Will you please let Korsak know I might be late? I'm going to chase a lead I got last night. I think I know where he's keeping the girl.
Maura shakes her head, but her fingers type. Certainly.
Jane doesn't respond then, and after a couple minutes, Maura tosses the phone aside, falling back into bed, pulling the covers up over her head to muffle her cries, even though there isn't anyone to hear her.
She will call in. No one will miss her. She will text Korsak about Jane...later. She will stay in bed. She is sick.
Outside, it starts to rain.