Keep forgetting to do these. No characters except Jade and Violet and other characters are mine. All Derek Landy's.
The house between the two funeral homes was decorated with ghosts and cobwebs and pumpkins. Skulduggery had gone all out for the Halloween night. Ghastly and Tanith knocked on the front door and Valkyrie answered.
"Welcome, friends, to Skulduggery's special Halloween bonanza." She said.
"You're meant to say it with pazzazz and drama!" Skulduggery appeared next to her.
"You say it then." Valkyrie snapped.
Skulduggery ignored his girlfriend and invited them in. "Dexter and Saracen are in the kitchen with Erskine. Erskine's making us all cupcakes. Fletcher's on a date with Vi so he'll be on his way soon. Anton was a miserable bugger and stayed at the hotel." He said.
Then there was a loud yell from the kitchen and Erskine stormed out.
"Skul! Tell your chimps to stop stressing me out. They burnt all the cupcakes."
"I didn't mean to!" Dexter yelled.
"My hotness burnt them!" Saracen grinned.
"Stop it! All of you. Halloween is a time for goodwill, happiness and most importantly, skeletons." Skulduggery said.
Then the lights went out.
"Where's the torch?" Tanith grabbed someone's leg. "Oops." She fumbled around in the darkness.
"Tanith?" Saracen said.
"Yeah?"
"That's my crotch."
"Ew!" Tanith fell back and landed on someone. Dexter howled in pain then stopped.
"This is hot. A beautiful girl lying on me...sorry, Ghastly." Dexter pushed Tanith forward and she glared at him.
"Right, is everyone comfortable?" Ghastly asked. Everyone snuggled in their den of blankets and pillows and sleeping bags. "I'll tell a horror story."
"Yay!" Dexter squealed and threw popcorn at everyone.
"There once was a man called Dexter. He looked at himself in the mirror. And died of terror." Tanith said.
"You're so mean."
"Shush, guys, I'll begin...once upon a time..." Ghastly said.
Of Ghosts and Ghastly
I woke up, my head hurting from the drunken night me and my friends had had the night before. I was in a strange room ; it was very girly with pink everywhere. Then, I realised. There was someone in the bed next to me!
("How's this a horror story?" Saracen sighed.
"The person was you," Valkyrie cackled.)
I could see some dark hair poking out from under the duvet.
("See, it's Saracen!" Tanith laughed.)
What the hell had I done last night? I edged my way out of bed but the person next to me stirred. I held my breath but it was to no avail. The woman rose from her sleep.
"Hi, I'm-" I started to introduce myself before I realised that she knew me, obviously, even if I had no recollection of her.
But the woman turned her head to me and I gulped. She had messy dark hair and black eyes. Her mouth was a wide gash in her face and her skin was milky white.
"Hello." She said in a snarling voice that sounded like Finbar when he was possessed by a Faceless One.
I screamed and leaped out of bed. I wasn't naked but I was only wearing a pair of boxers and a loosely buttoned shirt.
"Why are you running? Are you afraid of me?" The woman continued. Her long-fingered hand rose from underneath her duvet and she put it in her mouth. She stretched her mouth into a wide smile, the flesh ripping apart. "Are you afraid of me now?"
(Skulduggery was cuddled up into his sleeping bag and whispered, "yes, please don't hurt me.")
I was frozen to the spot but as she stepped out of bed, I ran through a door. It led into a small bathroom and I sat against the closed door, panicking. She - It?- was tall with a white hospital gown on her thin figure.
"Please don't be afraid of me. I'm just like you or your friends. I'm alive. I'm very very happy." The rasping voice said and the woman appeared in the bathroom mirror. Her reflection's smile stretched to her eyes, her face a bloody mess. I backed away from the mirror and the door opened.
The Thing stood there, it's face mutilated and horrible.
"Don't you want to be my friend?" It asked and I dived to take it down. It grabbed me and pulled me upright before I even reached it. "I said don't you want to be my friend?" It asked again.
"Yes." I screamed as it's claws grabbed my arm.
"Too late." The thing snarled and stabbed me in the back, literally. "But I'll be nice."
Two months later, a man woke up, having no memories of last night, and stared at the woman sleeping in his bed. She sat up, her mouth dripping with dark red blood. "Hello." She smiled. "Are you afraid of me?"
The man screamed and got out of his bed, trying to run. I stood, my gash of a mouth sewn together, and held the claw that had killed me.
"Why are you running? Are you afraid of me?" I asked and then I woke up.
Real Life
"You woke up? What a tragic ending." Dexter tried to laugh but his voice was shaky.
"I haven't finished." Ghastly grinned.
"Not more." Skulduggery whimpered.
"And then I woke up. A woman with pale skin, dark hair and a bloody mouth smiled at me. 'Hello,' she said, 'nice dreams?'. I shivered as she walked towards me. 'Are you afraid of me?'. And it all became real."
Valkyrie was buried in her blanket pile.
Tanith was frozen, popcorn halfway to her mouth.
Saracen hadn't moved for five minutes.
Erskine had slumped into his sleeping bag, in terror.
"I bloody hate you." Skulduggery whispered.
"Right!" Ghastly said brightly. "Who's next?"
"Me!" Dexter said. "For revenge."
Of Dolls and Dexter
("This is going to be about an entirely different man called Dexter." Dexter told them.
"Great." Saracen tried to smile.
"Yeah." Dexter took a deep breath and began.)
Dexter was a handsome fellow. He had sun-streaked blonde hair and amazing abs. So, in his trip to Mexico, Dexter fell for the oldest trick in the Mexican book.
"The Island of Dolls is a great place to meet people." The old man who led the tourist booth by the river told him. By people, Dexter assumed he meant women.
"I'll take a boat there." He said confidently.
"Let me finish, young man," the old man snapped and Dexter smiled at being called young. "The Island of Dolls are a hallowed and evil place. There are tales that the dolls talk. Many people who go there never come back."
"I'm a Dead Man, I can face some fake dolls. However scary they look." Dexter said and he took a small boat to the island. His first mistake.
Decaying dolls hung off the trees with ropes and string. It looked like they had been executed by a hanging. One doll had a smile on it's face despite the hole that had once been it's eye. The other eye watched him as he looked for any other human.
"Hello." A man appeared next to a tree. "I am Puerto. I am the man who loves these dolls."
"Cool." Dexter nodded.
"Gracias."
"Grassy arse." Dexter repeated and Puerto sighed.
There was a breeze and the dolls swung back and forth through the trees. Dexter stared at the hole-filled, ruined dolls and he could have sworn one gave a small smile.
"We have to go." Puerto said suddenly. "My hut is that way."
He walked off through the trees and Dexter tried to follow. He heard a small giggle and something tugged on his top. He spun round but there was no-one there. Just a small doll with a smile. Dexter backed away, searching for any place where there was no dolls. Another giggle. "Hello, are you lost?" A little girl's voice asked. Again there was only wide-eyed innocent dolls smiling at him. With a blast of horror, he realised they were following him. He blinked and one appeared on a tree branch, swinging from a string.
"Hello, do you want to live here with us?" It asked, although it's mouth wasn't moving. Dexter turned and ran. He stopped in a clearing where there was one willow tree in the centre. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of dolls were hanging on that willow tree.
He stopped. They were all smiling, all staring at him.
Then Dexter blinked.
They were getting closer.
Another giggle sounded and he turned his head. When he looked back, they were even closer.
Another blink and one was touching his leg with it's outstretched hand.
He stepped back, only to fall over a branch. In the second that he wasn't looking as he fell, a doll grabbed his hand. It's plastic fingers dug into his flesh ones and it was smiling to reveal small sharp teeth.
"We don't like intruders. Look what happens to them." It said, it's painted on smile not moving. Dexter managed to look at the crowd of dolls, all looking like tourists, their expressions horrified, hanging from the trees.
The doll leant forward and bit into Dexter's neck. He screamed, his last sound echoing round the trees. In his hut, Puerto heard it then heard a knock on his window. He glanced up and saw a doll's face, pale porcelain, pure evil.
"We killed your friend. He's one of us now." The doll said in a sing-song voice. "And now we're coming to get you."
A hand reached out and the legend of the living dolls gained a new doll.
Two years later, three dolls were in an English museum. "I want that one, Mummy, Puerto." The little boy pointed to the Mexican doll.
"No dear, we can't buy them." The woman said and hurried him away. The little boy turned back for one last look and the middle doll smiled.
"Hello. Are you lost?" She giggled.
Real Life
"Dexter?" Skulduggery poked someone.
"Ow. Yeah?"
"I have a doll upstairs. It was my daughters."
"Oh shit." Dexter hid under his blanket.
"Couldn't you of told me before I started this story?"
"I was too scared from Ghastly's story."
"Oh crap." Valkyrie moaned. "I'm so scared."
Then there was a bang from upstairs.
"No!" Saracen burrowed under his duvet.
"Holy Cupcakes, it's Skulduggery's stupid doll." Erskine whimpered.
"My daughter's doll." Skulduggery corrected him. "I'm scared."
"Me too." Ghastly whispered.
"Let's go up." Tanith slithered to the door in her sleeping bag. Everyone followed her.
There was another bang and some footsteps.
"And the pitter patter of the doll's footsteps followed the boy through the museum." Dexter muttered.
"What?"
"I'm finishing my story." He shrugged then laughed. "Why? Why did I have to do one about dolls?"
"Because you hate us all." Saracen whacked him. Then they slithered up the stairs. The footsteps were coming from Skulduggery's hat room.
"No. Not my babies." Skulduggery whispered. Then the door creaked open and a dark small shadow came from the room. Valkyrie screamed and then the rest of them did too. The shadow screamed even louder. "What the hell, guys!" Fletcher was crawling along the corridor. "I teleported into the hat room then I couldn't turn any lights on and got scared so I kept bumping into stuff and then I got scared again and crawled."
"We thought you were an evil doll." Erskine flopped on the floor.
"Okayyyy..."
"Dexter's been telling us a horror story about an island of dolls." Valkyrie explained. They all laid in the hallway and Erskine shared around cupcakes.
"My God, Grand Mage, these are great." Tanith said.
"Grassy arse." Erskine said and everyone except Dexter and Fletcher laughed.
"You're a grassy arse." Dexter glared at him.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"It's my turn!" Skulduggery yelled.
Of Skeletons and Skulduggery
Once there was a skeleton.
Who's name was Skully P
He searched and searched and searched
But still he could not find me
He was bold and cool
His partner went to school
He wore hats with sass
And had a great ass
And he could rap
While running a lap
Then he went all psycho
And killed lots of people and more
He turned into Lord Vile
For a while
Once there was a skeleton.
Who's name was Skully P
Real Life
After Skulduggery's rap, everyone was sleeping. At around 3am, the lights came back on. Valkyrie woke up first and got out of her sleeping bag to turn them off. "Hey, what you doing?" Skulduggery asked.
"Turning the lights off."
"Come to bed." Skulduggery grabbed his girlfriend's hand and pulled her into his bedroom, where they slept in the bed until Erskine woke them up at 9am with news of Morning Cupcakes.
Okay, that was scary to right. Especially Skulduggery's rap. O_O. Has anyone got any ideas for new fanfics? If you do then review this and tell me! Grassy arse/gracias/thanks!