Memories of a Broken Heart
Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Ellis Grey had not always been the tough surgeon everyone now remembered her as. Once she'd been just a girl, naïve and full of dreams, but she'd been toughened by the disappointments of life, and by the fever of ambition. It was foolish to say that Ellis had never known love; once she'd been full of it. Thatcher had loved her, and at first she had loved him back. It wasn't until later that she realized that their love did not make her happy, not anymore. Richard Webber was the one who made her feel like her heart desired. He was 'the one' she later claimed she had never believed in. They had shared many passionate hours, thinking only of each other, and how happy they had felt during these moments. Of the trouble these bliss moments caused for other people, like their families, they didn't think. Especially not Ellis. Richard, in comparison, didn't forget. He had a continuous nagging feeling in the back of his head that reminded him of the main problem: they were married, and not to each other. He had to choose, then, between his mistress, with whom he shared a deep, passionate love he had never felt before, and his wife, with whom he had shared so much, and whom he also loved, yet in a different way. Eventually he had, choose for Adele, his wife. He had walked away from Ellis and made what he thought was the right decision. Ellis never thought it was the right decision; he'd broken her heart. Yet she still kept thinking, throughout the rest of her life, of the happy, good times they shared.
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? Could we?
Ellis had often wondered what Richard would have done if they had been given a second chance. Did he regret his decision? Did he, too, hope for a second chance that would allow him to change everything? And he would that have worked out? They now would never know. They would never find out if they could have made each other truly happy for the rest of their life.
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So its the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were...
These thoughts had always continued to haunt Ellis; would Richard have made her happy? Would he have made things different? She didn't know. And now, she couldn't even remember anymore. The diagnosis of Alzheimer disease had of course deeply devastated her; this would mean she'd have to stop doing the work she'd lived for, for so long. It was the end of her life, of her personality. But, on the other hand, it was a blessing. She could escape now; she would no longer remember the things that had caused her heart to be broken, so it could finally mend now. The disease cured her mental pains. When she did remember, sometimes during her 'good' days, she remembered only the happy things. She remembered her life as a surgeon, the lives she'd saved, and she remembered her family. Her daughter, Meredith, whom mattered more to her than Meredith herself would ever know, and she remembered Thatcher, the good times she shared with him. And sometimes, only very, very rarely, she remembered Richard. For he was always in the back of her mind, loving her like no one else had.