Authors Note: This is just a super-silly out of character stuff with Jack and Ivelisse since they're dating (I know it's insanity pairing Ivelisse with someone not named Angelico) but I had an idea about Jack having his own vlog series because he's an Englishman with not much else to do with his valuable time. So he and Ivelisse basically do shit like play video games, talk and be total dorks. I only own Jack and I hope this doesn't completely break the illusion that Jack is a part of a psychopathic Dojo Kai that sacrifice people for their master. Imagine that you're watching this as a Youtube video; so this is from the point of view of the watcher and the camera. When I describe Ivelisse shooting and all the for example, that's just their GTA V versions; hope this doesn't get too confusing. LMAO
With a smile the Lucha Underground stars Jack Kustom and his real life girlfriend and fellow Lucha Underground star Ivelisse Velez both sit on the sofa in Jack's Vancouver home. Jack smiled as the young Newcastle native mentioned in his thick Geordie accent "Ya'right lads and lasses? It's the first of many vlogs that myself and my babe will be doing because, hey, we're killing time while waiting for the second season of Lucha Underground to start" Jack shrugged as Ivelisse chimed in with.
"Hashtag 'Netflix Needs Lucha' and you're probably asking yourself 'What exactly are The Gifted Geordie, Jack Kustom, and the baddest bitch in the building, Ivelisse, what are we exactly going to be doing to entertain you all'…well a smorgasbord of things. We'll be mostly playing video games, re-watching episodes of Lucha Underground and giving shout-outs to our favourite fans anddon't forget to like, comment and subscribe" Ivelisse pointed downwards.
"And for some reason she pointed to her fire-crotch tattoo…don't click that." Jack mentioned as Ivelisse looked at her real life boyfriend before she mentioned to the camera while gesturing to Jack "These British punk-asses have no respect" as Jack flipped his Puerto Rican girlfriend off as he looked to the camera and said "So we will be playing Grand Theft Auto 5…we won't be doing much, just destroying shit and trying to find our way out of Dario's temple…Boyle Heights is based in Los Santos" Jack mentioned as Ivelisse nodded "So we'll just be doing what we do in real life? Causing carnage and shit?"
The camera cut to Jack's character standing wearing a red and gold bowling shirt with some jeans and work-boots as Ivelisse's character looked as close to her as possible with a bandana over her face, a leather jacket and some jeans as Jack and Ivelisse's voices could be heard from behind the camera, it was times like this that Jack viewed his capture card so the viewers could see the game on the video in 1080p, as a god-send.
"Let's rock!" Jack mentioned as both video game versions of themselves calmly strolled into the streets and looked at what type of car to car-jack as Ivelisse suddenly jacked a motorcycle as Jack shot the original rider in the head before getting on the back as Jack was heard saying.
"What do you say babe, one last ride?" in reference to what Son of Havoc said in the finale of Ultimate Lucha as Ivelisse was heard saying "You're a fuck-face, you know that right?" as the motorcycle tore off as Ivelisse mention casually "This is the stuff that El Rey didn't want you to see…this is actual footage of me taking Havoc away" as Jack squealed as Ivelisse nearly smashed into a bus as the camera cut back to see both Jack and Ivelisse with wide eyes and comical 'nervous' expressions on their faces.
"Let me off please" Jack mentioned from behind the screen as, back in the GTA V universe, the man had hopped off the motorcycle before he strolled up to an NPC who looked a bit like a skinnier version of The Mack "Oh, you want a piece of me Mack?!" Jack asked as his character pulled out a shotgun and shot the NPC right in the face as Jack called out "Shotgun to yo' face boy!" as Ivelisse hollered with a laugh "That's what you get when you mess with us!" as the two realised that they had a wanted level as the camera turned to see Jack and Ivelisse looking at the other as Ivelisse said "Run?" as Jack mentioned "Oh hell yeah" as it cut to the game as Jack and Ivelisse both ran around like headless chickens as Jack car-jacked a black Cavalcade, the GTA V version of the Cadillac Escalade, Jack tore off as he comically left Ivelisse behind as Ivelisse screamed comically.
"GET BACK HERE YOU BRITISH PUNK-ASS!"
"Oh shit…sorry" Jack apologised as he stopped the SUV and patiently waited for a sprinting GTA V version of Ivelisse as she leaped into the front passenger seat as Jack tore off with the Los Santos Police Department shooting at the SUV as Jack and Ivelisse both screamed and panicked as Ivelisse yelled out "Go left!" as Jack said "Mine or yours?" as Ivelisse was shooting at the police behind her as the wanted level went from 1 to 3 stars. Jack panicked and jerked the wheel of the SUV as he sideswiped a bus and charged head-long into traffic as Ivelisse hollered out to her real life boyfriend "You're going the wrong way you British fucker!"
"I'm British! In England we drive on the left so all these Americans are going the wrong way!" Jack corrected as he mentioned "So we're going to The Temple? We've got to make this show! It's your interview segment with Vamprio, Angelico and Havoc" Jack joked as Ivelisse said with comical seriousness "I'm doing all this shit with a broken leg!" as Jack ended up on the side-walk as he ran down a huge amount of people as he angrily snapped out "Thanks asshole! You've just ruined someone else's cars paint-job!" as Jack swerved through traffic as Ivelisse was shooting at the cops from the passenger seat.
"One second" Jack said as he paused the game as the camera cut to a confused looking Ivelisse as Jack left the couch before he was heard typing on his laptop before the mouse was heard clicking as 'Bad Boys' by Inner Circle was heard as Ivelisse burst out laughing as Jack sat back down as the Puerto Rican said to her Geordie boyfriend "That is dope as shit!" as it cut back to their GTA V Rampage with Bad Boys playing in the background as Jack mentioned "Are you sure these cops aren't just overly zealous autograph hunters?" as Ivelisse responded with "All the more reason to get away from 'em. Angelico and Havoc are probably waiting for me now with the interview, so drive you Brit-Bitch!"
"I'm the baddest Brit in the building!" Jack boasted, mocking the nickname of his real-life girlfriend as Ivelisse snickered and kept shooting at the police, who'd all gotten off their back and Jack's driving meant they had lost their wanted level as they both got out and inspected their battered SUV as Ivelisse casually mentioned "You think Dario and the LU fans will notice the blood on the front, the bullet holes in the window and the shattered windscreen? Also the fact we're both bleeding like we had a Cero Miedo match."
"They won't know; they're too busy chanting 'This is Lucha' as it cut back from the game to Jack and Ivelisse as Ivelisse said "Well we hoped you enjoyed our first GTA V rampage…we also hope you'll rate, comment, subscribe and we'd love to hear what games you'd like to see us play next" as Jack said to the camera "She's nicer to you guys that she's ever been with me…she's scary as shit when the cameras off!" as Jack and Ivelisse both glared at each-other before Ivelisse playfully got Jack in a headlock as she smiled and cut the camera off and ending a very fun first vlog and a very fun announcement of their relationship.