I wait for the post man to bring me your letter
and i wear all your old clothes, your pull on sweaters
and i carry the wait of the world on my shoulders
daddy to hold me
thats what i needed whyd you have to go?
whyd you have to go?
daughter to father, daughter to father
tell me the truth
did you ever love me, cause these are the confessions of a broken heart
Chapter 1
I woke up screaming, as per usual. Sweat poured down my neck and chest. I remmembered the dream. As i did every night. My father screaming profanities at my mother and mother slamming the door in his face. I remembered my father dropping me off in the front of a cold looking stone buling in Italy. Telling me to knock on the door and that hed send me a letter. I calmed my breathing down and heard the pitter patter of tiny feet coming my way.
"Bellsie, you dreamed again?" Annabell said as she came running down the hall. My sweet little angel.
"Yes, i did Annie, now why dont you and i go back to your room, ill tuck you in and you can go to sleep ok princess?" I said taking her tiny hand in mine and walking down the corridor of sleeping children stopping at the room farthest down the hall. I tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead promising to come do the same tommrow night.
I climbed back wearily into my own small bunk bed that i shared with Jessica. I had been at this place since the day my father left me here nine years ago. He left me here at only six years old. He sent letters and nice gifts but what i needed was a family to love and care about. I was fifteen now, nearing my sixteenth birthday. I had been to nearly ten foster homes since iv come here. Every time being a dissapointment and being sent back. No matter how hard i tried.
Annabell was my only solance. She was only a wee little thing. Four years old, shed arrived when i had been living here. I was like her mother. Being the oldest at this orphange i had the job of rasing and nursing the babies at night feeding them from bottles and changing diapers. Annabell had become attached to me, so i was assigned to her. I dressed and fed her, taught her to read and write, to draw. I was in ways and purposes her mother.
We looked very much alike, often when i would be sent on errands and have to carry her with me people would stop and ask me if she was my sister. Being the rebel i am i said 'no sorry, shes my daughter'. They would give me strange looks and shake their heads in dissapointment.
She had the same long curly chesnut colored hair as me, the same wide honey eyes. She was a gorgous little thing. I sighed and fell back asleep on the hard bumpy mattress awaiting the next tortourous day.
I woke to the sound of pots and pans being clanked together from the hallways. Ms. Lauren strode sternly past the corridor waking everyone up. I sat up and remembered what day it was. Open house. As we orphans called it. It was when everyone would dress and act their nicest and people from all over the city would come and sometimes adopt girls. The girls that where left would stay and new orphaned girls would take the gone ones place. I sighed knowing not to expect anything. Everyone here but me was eleven or under. Jessica and me being the only people over thirteen.
Jess was fourteen a year younger than me and had only been here for half a year. I was sure she would be adopted. She had straight blonde hair with big innocent ocean blue eyes. She was a sweat well mannered girl who had been brought here by an uncle after being orphaned in a deveasting car crash in which everyone but her had died.
I took a quick shower and brushed the tangles out of my long chestnut hair. It curled quickly rolling down to my waist in thick curls. I put on a bit of blush and mascara and tugged on a soft knitted summer dress and some white flats. I clicked on the gold locket i had gotten from my mother before she died and looked in the mirror. I looked pretty enough. I looked like a teenager. No one would adopt me i knew that.
I quickly stopped sulking and went to wake Annabell. I gently woke her up and gave her a towel pushing her toward the showers. After she came out with her long chestnut hair riding down her back i sat her down and brushed the knotts out of her soft hair. It curled almost exactly like mine. I dressed her in a cute pink summer dress that softened her eyes and patted her cheeks. I couldnt help the tear that slid down my face. Annie would get adopted today i knew she would, all the little ones went quickly, you could only adopt a child who was four or older and it was her turn this year.
"Ready Annie?" I said after wiping the stray tear.
"Yes Belsie." With that she took my hand and we walked down the corridor and stairs together toward the assembly room.