A/N: I'm sorry for this. TRIGGER WARNING suicide, self-harm, drug abuse, and major character deaths. Read at your own risk.
Enjoy.
"Don't worry, Moms, I'll be back before you know it!"
That was what Henry yelled, bright eyes and wide smile, as he ran off to get on that stupid fucking bus that took him away. Took him away to that god awful place. That was what started it all. Henry leaving, and then Regina was left behind and she had that damn look of longing and trepidation. But he was supposed to be back before they knew it. He never did come out, he liked the world where he didn't have two moms breathing down his neck every day. Drugs happened and 'the wrong crowd' happened.
They went back to Regina's place and drank themselves into each other arms. Legs rubbed, fingers probed, and clothes were shed. They didn't care about the fact that they had men that they were committed to out of pure obligation. They were the only ones that mattered anymore because they were the only ones that understood the pain of losing someone they loved all over again. And again. And again.
He was gone and Regina got worse over the days when they found out.
Robin was pounding on the door as Regina screamed and smashed mirrors. Emma just stood catatonic trying to pull the pieces that she had left of herself together. "Regina! Answer the door!"
Emma didn't know how it happened but she turned around when it had gotten silent, the only sounds she could hear were small wet gurgles, and Regina's heavy panting. She turned around to a scene out of a horror movie. Blood was dripping from Regina's chin, and hands, and Robin was twitching on the ground in the foyer. Looking her straight in the eyes as the lights behind his faded. She remembers screaming but only for a moment until she realized that she could care less about what happened to him. Although he was a person and he did have a kid out there. But his kid was still alive, theirs wasn't.
She looked at Regina and her shoulders were hunched, her breath making them rise and fall rapidly as she looked down on him with emotionless eyes. She spoke calmly with a voice so distant Emma was sure she was channeling the Evil Queen. "He told me to calm down."
Emma smiled with almost as much palpable insanity as Regina had spoke with and shoved the woman against a wall. "You don't have to be calm with me."
With that they were scratching and biting and pumping ten times harder than the night Henry got on that damn bus.
It's as if Emma had begun to loose everything when Henry got on that bus. Him, her parents, and Regina. Quite frankly, they lost each other without leaving because they hadn't wanted to see the damage they were causing together. Damage was a light way of putting it.
Hook left after he heard about Robin, the puss that he was. They were absolutely insane, and Emma's parents knew it. What with the way they tiptoed around town, not once asking Emma how she was or even acknowledging the fact that her son, their grandson, had died. That had pissed her off. Pissed Regina off more.
"I'm going to kill them." Regina had said one night after a particularly bruising session.
Emma sighed long and deep as the heartbreak that usually came when they were finished began to filter back in. "I don't think I care anymore, Regina. She is the one that convinced him to do it and she deserves it. David and Neal are just puppets in her holier than thou show. Kill her, but let them be. I mean it."
Regina turned to her with big child-like eyes when Emma said 'him'. "Is this what we've become? Ruthless and barbaric. Don't you remember what he would've wanted, Emma?"
The blonde turned with flame filled vision and pinned Regina with a killer glare before she began. "You are the one that killed Robin. You are the one that continues kill whoever crosses you the wrong way. You are the one that fucked me up. And you are the one that continues to fuck me into your god damn traps so don't you dare ask me if this is what we have become."
Regina stood quickly and poofed herself away. Probably to her study where she usually goes when this kind of thing happens, but they eventually fight and fuck all over again. It was the only thing that held them together. It was a thread, the only thread hanging on for them. Then Emma heard a smash and smiled when she realized that Regina had started drinking. It meant she could take her pill and be okay for the night.
The next day she woke up from her drug induced sleep to screaming. Not just any screaming, Regina's. She literally stumbled to the bathroom where the shower was running so hot the entire room was bursting with steam, and Regina's piercing screams. She flung the curtain to the side and simply watched as the woman she thought she was in love with scratch at her blistering red skin as she screamed in agony. Agony that Emma knew had nothing to do with the searing water or the deep scratches.
There was nothing Emma could do to calm her completely, so she just turned down the heat until it was normal temperature for a shower and stepped into the shower behind the woman, still fully clothed from when she put clothes back on the night before. She sat down behind Regina and took her arms, effectively stopping the rigid scratches from continuing, hearing the woman whimper slightly, and held her tight over the tops of her arms. She squeezed the woman closer to her her front. Soon the screaming stopped and the crying began, and soon Emma could distinguish the difference between the shower and tears that were hitting her arms. The small whimper like cries soon turned into absolute body wrecking sobs that shook both of them at each start. Emma squeezed tighter and ducked her head into the back of the brunette's neck kissing softly, trying to make her feel the love she still had, and a few of her own tears slipped out. The water turned cold and Regina's cries were once again whimpers and pained moans as her body shook with the cold water that hit her burning skin. Emma reached forward and turned off the water completely and stood with the other woman in her arms and wrapped a towel around her the best she could.
She laid Regina down in the bed before shedding her soaked clothes and throwing them in the bathroom floor before returning to the bed where Regina had curled into a ball facing away from her. She slid into the bed behind the shivering woman and wrapped herself around her again and pulling a blanket over the both of them. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you"
Regina sniffed a couple times before she responded in a gravely voice from the screaming she had done, though it was still distant. "You were everything I needed."
Emma didn't know what it meant, but she was for the second time in her life truly scared for Regina. She knew something was going to happen but she couldn't think about it for fear of losing her mind completely. "I'm sorry, Regina." It was pained with the outlook of there lives, hanging on to Regina tighter out of fear.
"Me too."
Tears began to flow down Emma's face as she dropped the flowers in one hand and dipped her head back and swallowing her sixth- no fifth- pill of the day. She hadn't given up, Regina did. That was surprising to everyone. Everyone thought she would be the one to off herself. No, she wasn't brave enough for that. Brave may be the wrong word, but that's what Regina was. Emma left town and only ever came back on this day. Regina was quite poetic in her ways, considering she killed herself on the anniversary of the day they had gotten that call about him. Emma still couldn't say his name. Even through the mind numbing haze of her precious prescriptions, she couldn't say Henry. She could say Regina, but only when she woke up screaming it. She had a job again, just a little restaurant in the city that paid enough for her to get by, and she had her own place right above it.
She was okay. She never saw her parents and she never answered their emails. She didn't want this to be a part of her life anymore. She couldn't let any of this be a part of her life anymore.
She poured the rest of the pills out of the window as she drove back to the city that day. She had fulfilled her purpose of dropping the flowers off to the two most important people of her past life. She figured she could make it through the rest of her new life if the only thing she could continue to do on the hard days was breath.