The first thing she wanted to do was cry. She stood proud on the deck of the Delphina, frowning into the wind to stop the tears leaking over. She could still hear the words echoing inside her head, words that had hit her all the harder for the joking tone behind them- "…bossy little domina. I pity the man she marries." Why did she care? She didn't like Flaccus, with his conceited stare and his ever-moving jaws- but she had always been a lot more susceptible to criticism than people realised, especially when she was already aware of the fault- and her bossy manner was one of the things she hated the most about herself.
Later, Flavia would laugh about it- much later, it would be one of the first things he would apologise for- but now, she was furious. How dare he talk that way about someone he didn't even know properly! How dare he make such assumptions…her line of thought trailed momentarily as she realised that she was guilty of the same crime, then picked up again at full speed. Well, at least I don't make comments to other people about him!
Apart from to Nubia, and Jonathan, and Lupus… whispered the small voice in the back of her mind that could be so annoying when she was trying to indulge in a moment of self-pity. Well, he's older- he should know better than that!
Didn't you hear Pater making all those remarks about the market workers the other day? And that was only because the wine hadn't been sorted out properly! Anyway, he's only about six years older than you…
She contemplated the age gap. Six years… not much of a problem. Not much of a problem for what? asked the voice. It could also be very annoying when she was trying not to think about something in depth- when she wasn't quite sure what she was thinking about, and didn't really want to find out.
She decided to be brave, and follow the thought. Six years wasn't much of a problem...if, in the future, she and Flaccus wanted to be friends. Friends. A nice, safe word. She was friends with boys- Jonathan and Lupus- and being friends with a…man…wouldn't be too much of a difference. Yes. Friends.
And if the part of her head that the voice lived in wanted to contemplate his deep eyes, and his curly hair, and his rich voice, then it wasn't her problem.