A/N:I've often found myself wondering about the early life of Sakura Kyouko and how she might have lived and been happy aside from her life as a Magical Girl which ultimately led to disaster. So I just wanna write a short oneshot about her life before, during, and after she became a Magical Girl. Including maybe a prologue of what happened. Told in first person. After all, the title is called MEA culpa, so why not allow Kyouko to speak for herself? I don't own anything. It's a bittersweet story, with a sad/Madoka-esque ending. Somewhat Kyouko/Sayaka, though unrequited.
Mea Culpa
""There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."
― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman,
It was a cold, blustery day in Mitakihara. Winter had come to settle upon the town with a ruthless vengeance, and the snow tended to fall quite heavily, so naturally, children loved the sight of the snow, while the parents disliked the idea of having to shovel it off their driveways.
The snow fell down, relentlessly, unaware of or oblivious to mankind's hatred for it, just doing its own thing as it fell, silently, upon the ground. The cold caused lots of humans to retreat indoors, however some people were undeterred by the coldness of the winter and the thawing of the snow.
And there were some who just didn't care one way or the other, about anything at all...like the figure who quietly strode down the street, not paying attention to anything at all, her hands in her jean pockets, a distant look evident on her face. It was obvious to anyone that this girl was alone, just daydreaming about things.
A pair of red eyes stopped, as their owner took in the scene before them, and watched wistfully; two children were playing on a playground, making snowballs and throwing them at each other, laughing playfully, unaware of the passage of time, unaware of anything except their own merriment and each other.
Children had that sort of innocence. It was something that she, unfortunately, was now without. For she had lost that viewpoint years ago, when cold reality had been slapped right into her face like a shattered wine bottle, spilling out all her dreams and hopes and replacing them with bitter disappointment.
The girl pushed her long crimson bangs back with her fingers, and sighed before sitting down on a bench, watching the children idly as she snacked on an apple with large smacking sounds, oblivious to the childrens' mother watching her with a reproachful stare at her lack of manners.
Crunch. One bite into the apple, another look over at the kids, who were getting closer to her. Now they were fighting. How predictable. Another bite. Now they were sticking their tongues out at each other, and starting to cry.
"Mommy, she hit me with that snowball and it went down my pants! Why did she do that to me? I just wanted to make a snowman with her!" A nasally, and annoying voice, whined. It belonged to the girl's younger brother, who was by now yodeling like a coyote about his supposed misfortune.
How annoying. She rolled her eyes and kept eating, her crunches on the apple getting louder and louder as she deliberately did so to keep the noise of the arguing brats out of her mind. She would have none of those memories come back to her. Not today. She didn't care.
She could see the children lobbing snowballs at each other, now, at high speed, like cannonballs. The eldest, a child with brown hair up in pigtails, was laughing joyfully as she hit her brother again, causing him to emit a cry of pain and fall over, his legs flailing comically as he landed in the snow, buried in it.
The redhead paused in her chewing of the apple, and sat up, suddenly interested upon seeing the hilarious scene before her. She suddenly felt a new emotion rising within her. She started to shake, a feeling she hadn't felt in a while rising up in her, it was...happiness. Laughter.
Only, it wasn't the 'proper' kind of laughter people were supposed to have in society. She burst out laughing, her left hand holding the apple core as she rolled on the chair, pointing a finger at the boy, and cackling in merriment.
"Wouldja look at that? Ya really failed there, dumbass! Why don't ya get back up, hmm?" She said raucously, smirking at how the children looked startled at someone laughing at them. Children could tell the difference between genuine laughter with someone, and then when someone was mocking them.
"Ooh, have yer poor little egos been wrecked?" She taunted, standing up and coming over to the children, who looked at her in bewilderment and a little bit of fear, realizing that something was off about the girl before them. What poor, ignorant little fools they were, like fawns skipping in a meadow, unaware of a highway looming before them, until the jaws of death closed upon them and they would be slaughtered-lost innocence, like it had been on that day.
That day. Why was she thinking of it now? It had nothing to do with her amusement. She was happy, after all.
As she approached, closer and closer, like a wolf to its prey, the little girl with pigtails moved behind her younger brother, who, too, looked wary of the girl approaching.
"It's not n-n-nice t-ta laugh at people and make them feel bad!" She said, gaining some courage, though it was momentary, as the redhead took in her words, and then let out a short sneer in response.
"...Feel bad? Is that really how everythin' in the world is to ya? Everyone's gonna hurt ya someday, princess, better learn that sooner rather than later. Listen, when yer a kid, you've got that privilege of bein' all safe, secure and pampered, but actions have consequences, understand? Ya keep walkin' around with that kind of attitude, and one day-"
Something smacked her straight in the face then, straining her vision, as she fell over, the apple rolling onto the ground, out of her grasp. The apple...her food, her precious food. They'd wasted it...they'd made her waste it. She gasped in shock as she got back up, wiping the snow off her face.
How dare they hit her! How dare they!
The little boy was laughing now, laughing at her, looking so triumphant and smug it pissed her off. He stopped upon seeing the redhead's face flushing crimson in anger, and her fists tightening at her sides, as her gaze darted from the apple to the shaking child.
"...Oi, brat. Ya made me waste food. Don't ya fucking dare fuck around with my food like that! No one wastes food, ya got that?" She screamed at him, which of course caused the little coward to cry and go running to his mother, who immediately came up to the girl, having heard everything and was furious.
"Who do you think you are to talk to my children like that?" She demanded, looking like a stately queen.
The redhead sneered and put her hands on her hips. "Yer children, hmm?" She said questioningly.
"Yes, they're my children!" She said.
"Then why did ya let yer daughter hit her brother? Yer not very good at this, are ya?" She said, dodging the woman's slap before it hit her. "Parentin', I mean. Let yer kid go around doin' whatever she wants, and she'll never learn consequences."
She moved to hit the woman, but then she paused, upon seeing the young girl's pleading face, her eyes swimming with tears, and then suddenly recalled a younger red-headed girl, pleading for someone else to stop hurting Mommy, stop stabbing her with that butcher knife...stop.
She froze, as though she'd been turned to stone, her face fell, and a sudden sense of remorse bubbled over her. "...Tch, never mind. Take care of yer brats however ya want."
As she started to walk off, the woman called after her. But it wasn't an angry tone anymore.
"...Aren't you...aren't you the daughter of that madman? That heretic priest?"
Hearing her father spoken of in such a derogatory way made her cheeks flush again. "What do ya know about him, huh?"
She glared at her. "I know enough to know that his progeny is exactly as filthy and unclean as that heretic. Come on, we're going home now."
She tugged her children away, glaring at Kyouko as they left, leaving the playground deserted and empty. Kyouko Sakura, the 'rude' teenager, scoffed and picked up the apple core, throwing it away with great reluctance. Her day of fun had just been ruined.
"Heretic, huh?" She muttered, going over to the snow-covered swingset and pushing the snow off. This seat had been her favorite as a child. She sat down on it, shivering momentarily at the coldness of it and swinging, a little. The rusty chains were frozen by snow and wouldn't budge.
'What exactly are you trying to do, Sakura Kyouko?'
A high voice rang in her head. She frowned, knowing the source of that voice anywhere. Her ruby orbs turned over to study the white creature, who was rolling around in the snow.
"Ya like snow, Incubator?" She said, sarcastically.
Kyubey shook himself off. "What is this white stuff, anyway? And what was the point of you going here? What's this place to humans?"
"It's called snow, ya idiot. And for yer information, this place is a playground. It's where parents take their children."
Kyouko's stomach grumbled, again. Frowning, she got up, and walked away. It was time for her to go...go home.
She heard no sound at all, besides the crunch of her shoes on the sidewalk as the snow fell, cold and unrelenting. Kind of like her heart right now. When had her heart become like this? She didn't care. She didn't care about those little brats. Well, one thing was for certain, her mother would have never treated her like that.
She pushed the door open, with an eerie creaking sound, and stepped in, still feeling the cold chill pierce her skin, shaking the snow off her shoes as she went in. "I'm home," She called out. No response. What was she expecting, for her family to magically pop out from a corner and join her?
She took an empty pew chair, that was covered in ages of dust and filth, and sat down, plopping her food beside her, staring up at the mosaics on the wall, of the familiar figures, the saints, the ones who used to mean so much to her. When had they become nothing more than stone figures who were lifeless and inert? Oh, right, they always had been.
But now they wouldn't listen to her, wouldn't listen to her pleas. Because she wasn't human anymore. She'd fallen out of God's grasp and grace long ago. She stood up, noticing the picture of a familiar figure, of the savior she had once believed in. She clasped her hands together, in prayer, trying to do the same thing she had once done.
"...God, are ya there? I know ya can hear me. Answer me. Answer me, dammit! Please, Father, forgive me, for I have sinned, over and over. Thinking only of myself. Forgive me, forgive me, please."
Her voice quavered, suddenly losing her cocky air as the room suddenly became hard to breathe in. Memories of the past suddenly overwhelmed her very being. She couldn't do this. Why was it so damned hard now? She had done this with so much fire and fervor back in the old days. Those days.
"...Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be t-thy name. T-thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in h-heaven. F-Forgive our trespasses, and forgive those who fucking trespass against us, so that our kingdom may come. Please destroy all witches...and give me a bit of happiness...A-Amen."
She spotted an old, worn church book that sat on the ground. She picked it up and leafed through it, noticing the childish scrawl in it. A scribble in crayon indicated who it belonged to. The pages were colored on. She let out a stifled sob.
"M-Momo..." She breathed. This had been Momo's book. Slowly, she turned the pages, trying hard to maintain her composure. It was no use. She came upon one verse, 'God is calling.'
"God is calling, huh?" She scoffed. "Well, he's certainly not answering me now, is he?"
Flopping down on the seat, the book beside her, she dug into a pocky stick, and began to eat. Slowly, before she knew it, the red-headed teenager drifted off into the world of Nod, a world rather like the witch's world, full of her deepest dreams and desires.
"Now, recite the Lord's prayer for me." A deep baritone voice said. It was that of her father, a kind man, who watched the two little girls as they looked at one another, giggled and then started to chant.
"Our father, who does art in heaven, Halloween be h-his name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on heaven as it is in earth. Forgive those who tres-trust in us, as we forgive those who trust against us..."
"Momo, that's not how it goes!" Kyouko said, the seven year old glaring at her four year old sister, who flinched under her sibling's fierce stare.
"A-Ah, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mess it up!" She said.
"The Lord knows that we mess up from time to time, Kyouko. That's why he forgives us. We say Mea Culpa when we have sinned. Remember?"
Kyouko nodded, eagerly, a smile on her face. "Yes, and God loves us very much! We'll always be happy as long as he's guarding us."
"Yes, we will," He said. "Now, I want you girls to be on your best behavior today. I have a very important message to give."
"Oneechan, let's go up here..." Momo whined, pulling Kyouko up the stairs.
"We've gotta stay in the pews," Kyouko said, shushing her little sister and pulling her back to her seat. She listened to her father speak with a smile on her face. Her father was so amazing when he spoke the word of God. Everyone would listen. They always said amazing things about him. There was no way he could ever be wrong.
Twelve-year old Kyouko sat in the pews like always, while her nine-year sister, Momo, sat there, both reciting the familiar church books and the church songs. But something seemed to be wrong. Her father was pausing, going over his words again. What could be wrong?
"...And so, my parish, I have come to a decision. That we should all love one another, no matter our race, religion, or gender! I-I have recently studied the Bible more critically and have found some contradictions with it. But I believe we can have a different kind of faith, one that grows by the k-kindness of humans!"
A woman rose out of her chair. "...Isn't that heresy against the church? I thought you were a good teacher of the Word."
Her husband rose up with her. "...I've never heard such nonsense in my life. Who do you think you are? Do you think you're better than Jesus?"
"N-No, I believe we should start another form of religion, one that calls us to love one another. Isn't that not what Christianity stands for?" He said, shakily. The parish was silent, and then the couple walked out, followed by another row of seats. Four whole rows were evacuated, and only six were left full.
Kyouko watched in disbelief, watching one of the men take her father aside and talk to him, with a stern look on his face.
"Kyouko-chan, Momo-chan, your father has committed a sin. We have run upon hard times. We may not be able...to..eat out as much, or buy things. They don't want me speaking anymore."
"But, dad, why? Everyone believes in you!" Kyouko said. "You're never wrong! They've gotta listen to you! I'll make them listen!"
"No, Kyouko, this is something I have to deal with on my own," Father Sakura said quietly. That night, they could hear him crying in his room, as his wife consoled him.
"Aren't we going to the supermarket today, Dad?" Kyouko asked. It had been a week. Her stomach growled, and so did Momo's.
"...No, we do not have the money to do so. I'm sorry, Kyouko, but we won't be having dinner tonight."
He said this for five days. Five days, she and Momo went hungry, without food. Her little sister got weaker and weaker.
"You there, what are you doing?"
"Unhand me, you jerks! MY lil sis needs food!" Kyouko demanded.
"What is the trouble here?" Father Sakura said.
The men holding his daughter relented.
"Father Sakura, we caught your daughter trying to steal."
"Kyouko, how could you?"
She didn't lift her head up. She could hear the disappointment in her father's tone. She knew he hated her. She had sinned.
"...Mea Culpa?" She said.
"...Stealing is violating one of the Ten Commandments, Kyouko. But do not worry, God will love us."
The next Sunday, only five people showed up, and one stayed to listen, and then told them he was never coming back. The next Sunday, her father was preaching to an empty church.
"...I can't do this any longer." He said.
Kyouko sobbed as she prayed to one of the statues.
"Please...please, God, make them listen to my father."
"I can help you with your problem, Sakura Kyouko." A high voice said.
Kyouko jumped, in time to see a white cat standing near her, its red eyes staring at her.
"A-Are you an angel?" She asked. The cat blinked.
"No, my name is Kyubey. I can grant you whatever wish you desire. But in return, you have to make a contract with me and fight to protect people."
"Protect...?" Kyouko said.
"Protect your family, and your little sister, right? So, make a contract with me and become a Magical Girl." The creature stated.
"You're joking, right?" Kyouko said, skepticism in her tone.
"I am not joking, nor would I want to joke. Now, Sakura Kyouko, what wish would you like granted in exchange for becoming a Magical Girl?"
Kyouko stared at him. "You'll...really help me?"
"Yes, I will. My magic knows no limits, and when you become a magical girl, your strength will be immeasurable. There's nothing you can't do." Kyubey said. "Now...tell me...what is your wish?"
"I..I wish...that everyone would listen to my father's teachings and obey them, not laugh at them. I want them to know he speaks the truth always!" Kyouko cried, as then a flash of light ensued, and a searing pain ripped through her. She found herself holding a small red gem.
"That is the proof of our contract, Sakura Kyouko. This is a Soul Gem. It will enable you to transform into a magical girl and learn how to fight. You will be destroying witches."
Kyouko glared at the familiars before her. She couldn't break free of their vines. "This is it...I'm gonna die here..."
"Are you all right?" An angelic voice said. She found herself staring at something golden. A person wearing all gold, with blond hair and golden eyes to match. She took out a rifle and finished off the familiar. "You're lucky I got here in time, otherwise you would've been dead."
"Thank you," Kyouko whispered. "But I can do this myself! I'm a superhero, Rosso Fantasma!"
"Is that so?" The other said. "You must be new to being a magical girl. I'm Mami Tomoe, I'll teach you the basics, and you are...?"
"Sakura. Sakura Kyouko." From that day onward, there was a friendship forged.
"...Kyouko, why are you back so late?" Her father pressed. She noticed that they had food on their plates.
"How was church today?" She asked.
"It was...a miracle. Tons of people came back to listen to my speech. It is as though God himself has sent an angel to bless us. And they all say I am wonderful, and they want to listen to everything."
He paused upon seeing Mami standing there. "Are you a friend of Kyouko's from school? I'm her father."
Kyouko saw a pained look enter Mami's eyes before it was gone. "I'm Tomoe Mami, a pleasure to meet you."
"You're always welcome here, Mami. Any friend of Kyouko's is a friend of ours." Her father said, seeing Mami off as she went back home. "...Were you studying with her late? Be careful not to stay out too late." He warned.
She smiled. "I'm fine, Dad. Really, I am!"
"Was that your wish, Sakura-san? To make your father's life better?" Mami asked her one day as they were eating some of Mami's cake. Mami's cooking was always the best, Kyouko thought as she dug into it.
"...Yes, it was. And I'm helping save the world, while he helps save people's souls!" Kyouko said.
"...Are you sure that's really what you wanted, Sakura-san? Does your father know about magical girls?"
Kyouko shook her head. "No, neither does Momo. I thought it'd be too dangerous. But what do you mean? It's not like anything will go wrong."
Mami smiled sadly. "...A contract with Kyubey isn't an easy thing. Sakura-san, it's not just for being a superhero. You have to pay a price. Do you think that's what your father really wished for?"
Anger surged through Kyouko. "He's happier now than he's ever been, thank ya very much! He feels happy now. No longer do we have to starve and waste food. I'll never starve ever again! He won't care if I tell him. He'll always love me, I'm his precious daughter!"
"Kyouko, you've got to stop returning home late. Your mother and I are worried about your health."
"I'm just fine, Dad." Kyouko said, smiling wearily. "I got in a fight with some kids at school who called your teachings wrong. Hey, Dad, what would you wish for?"
Her father furrowed his brow. "Is there something on your mind, Kyouko?" He asked.
"...No, it's just what would you wish for?"
"I have nothing to wish for," He said, hugging her. "You're my precious daughter and I love both you and Momo very much. And tomorrow's your birthday, Kyouko-chan. A gift for my special daughter. I've invited Mami to dinner tomorrow."
Kyouko went to bed that night, happy and satisfied.
"Kyouko, I need you. Kyouko, come quickly!" A high voice shouted in her ear. Kyouko woke, groggily, at two in the morning.
"Kyubey, what is it, you furball?" She groaned.
"Mami needs help! She wants you urgently!"
Kyouko transformed and wondered what could be wrong. She came upon Mami at her apartment, weeping loudly.
"Mami, what's wrong? Did a witch hurt ya?"
Mami looked up, stifling her tears with her hand. "No, nothing's wrong, Sakura-san. It's just...I..I got you a bunch of cute outfits, but none of them seem to be your size! Help me, Sakura-san!"
"...Outfits?" Kyouko questioned. Her brow twitched as she saw that most of them were dresses.
"It's for your birthday party tomorrow, Sakura-san! I got the cutest dresses for you! You'll look adorable in them! Let me try them on you."
"N-No, you idiot! Mami, get off of me! I'm not wearin' any of this shit!"
"What did I tell you about cursing now, Sakura-san? Come in here with me."
Kyouko blushed in embarrassment as she was wearing a schoolgirl dress.
"You look adorable!" Mami gushed. "I love it! Your father will love it, too! I'll see you tomorrow."
Kyouko waited anxiously as school let out to see Mami, but there was no sign of her.
Kyubey showed up, "Mami's fighting a witch right now and can't come to your birthday party, Kyouko. What is a birthday, anyway? I don't understand what it means. What's so special about being born?"
Kyouko smiled. "It means ya are lucky to be alive and livin'. Ya get yer family and friends around ya, people who care about you above everything else, and you tell stories, eat cake and open presents!"
She smiled, walking home. Her mother was finished cooking dinner and had set down the plates as she came in. Momo hugged her.
"Nee-chan, where have you been? I was worried..." Momo sniffled, tears coming out of her eyes.
Kyouko patted her sister's head. "Relax. I'm just fine, okay?"
She noticed her Soul Gem glowing and panicked. "Oh, crap, Mom, I've gotta go!"
She put her dishes in the sink, and left, unaware that a dark-haired girl was watching.
"So it begins again...Sakura Kyouko will lose her happiness.." She whispered. "Why can't I help her?"
Kyouko woke, yawning and stretching, and noticing that the sun was starting to rise already, she got up, noticing her soul gem glowing, she walked over to where her father's altar used to be and stood there, quietly.
"Kyouko?" A voice said. Kyouko turned slightly, to see a blue-haired girl there.
"Yo, bonkura. How'd ja find me?"
"I knew where to look," She said quietly, slipping into one of the seats. "You were friends with Mami-san, weren't you? What happened?"
"When my dad killed my family, we kinda stopped bein' friends. And it was on my...on my birthday." She whispered, starting to speak. "It's hard ta...talk about."
"I can't believe that witch had ta show up on my birthday. I'm gonna be late gettin' home." She said, only for the Soul Gem to glow again. Her eyes widened as she saw that the witch had picked her house to attack.
"...No!" She cried, as she saw it headed towards her home. She transformed and used her magic to destroy it, just as her father opened the door and saw her in her costume.
"...Kyouko, you're late...what are you wearing? What the hell is all this?" He demanded.
Her mother peered at her with shocked eyes. "What's going on?"
"D-Dad, I can explain!" She said, "It's called a witch. They're creatures that destroy people...and I...I became a Magical Girl...ta..ta help others."
"Magic?" He said. "How is this...possible?"
"I...I made a deal with a creature named Kyubey, and he allowed me to have these powers in exchange for a wish granted. See, yer...yer followers...they're comin' because I...I wished they would believe yer words! See, everything's good, right? Let's celebrate my birthday..." She said, but paused as her father was shaking in rage. "D-Dad?"
"You...you, my own daughter, you used magic to trick people into coming to my sermons? You are bewitching people. That stuff is...black magic, Kyouko...it's evil. How could you, my own daughter, sin against me like this? I thought I could trust in you..."
"D-Dad, I did it for you...now we don't have to be starving anymore, now we can live in prosperity. Now we can bring people to God and save them, right?" She said shakily.
"Dear, let's go in and serve the cake, okay? We'll talk it over there," Her mother said, hurriedly going in the room to get the cake. She brought it and started to light the candles. "...S-So, Kyouko honey, let's forget this talk of witches and change out of that cosplay. Let's celebrate your birthday."
Kyouko watched, nervously, gripping her spear, as she walked into the house...only for her father to get between her and her mother.
"You do not bring weapons in this house! You do not belong here! Give me back my daughter!"
She transformed back. "Okay, is this fine? Ya don't have to be so rude about it, I'm just gonna go up to my room and-"
As she started to walk past him, she didn't expect for him to grab her by her shirt collar and send her flying into the wall, her arm twisted. Blood poured down her head. "Jesus, Dad, calm down, it's me, Kyouko, yer daughter!" She said, coughing up blood.
"Don't you EVER say his name like that, y-you...you devil! Pretending to be my own flesh and blood and yet deceiving me like this! Leave this house! Begone, Satan!" He made a gesture at her.
"Dad...listen to me!" She begged.
"Dear, stop it!" Her mother said, pleadingly, but her words were wasted on her father, who threw her to the side, knocking the cake off the table and onto the floor, splattering icing on the ground.
"...This monster can't be allowed near our family!" He cried, as he grabbed a butcher knife from a cabinet and advanced on Kyouko.
"Neesan?" A small voice whispered. Kyouko turned to see Momo, staring at them with horror in her eyes. "Don't hurt Neesan! Momo will let you hurt her instead of Kyouko!"
"No, Momo!" Kyouko whispered.
"Momo, stay here. We can still get some cake...I'll make some more..." Her mother said, only for her father to hit her across the face.
"I won't allow my family to harbor this devil! Get out." He boomed.
"Screw you." She said. And then her father stabbed her mother, causing her to fall over to the stairs and not make a sound.
"...Run, Kyouko...maybe I can convince him to see reason..." She whispered. "I will always love you..."
"I can make it better, Dad! Dad, stop!" Kyouko cried, however her father swung the knife at her.
"How dare you call me that, you witch? You filthy demon! Get out of our house! I'd rather my family die together than die with a witch!"
Blood was everywhere. Kyouko opened her eyes and sat up, in time to see nothing but red. The birthday cake was decorated with red, and the words, 'Happy Birthday, Kyouko' were smeared in it. The candles had been lit and were now burning, burning everything around them.
"Mom!" She cried, running over to her mother. But her mother was sightless, her arms were wrapped around Momo.
"Momo?" She asked, only to hear a faint whimper and a sniffle as Momo lifted her head. She had cuts and bruises on her face, but she was alive. Hope surged through her.
"You will not have my daughter, you witch!" Her father roared. "IF this is how the Devil curses me, then I will die with honor!"
"Momo, we've gotta get out of here. There's a fire. We've gotta get Dad out of here, too. I'm going to call the police..."
But no sooner did she touch it than her father knocked her off her feet again with another blow to the head. Tears filled her eyes. 'How could this happen? How could this happen?'
"ONEESAN!" Momo screamed.
"...Why won't you die, you monster?" He screamed.
"Leave her alone!"
"Mo-"
But Momo fell, silent as a stone. Dead. Dead. Dead.
"Now, sit there and reflect upon your sins, foul demon. Remember you caused all this." Her father said as he took a noose...and...left this earth. Kyouko picked up her sister and attempted to find a sign of life. Her pulse...was there, but barely.
She was still alive, just barely, holding onto life.
"What do you mean, you can't help her?" Kyouko demanded.
"I'm sorry, but your sister passed this morning. Her injuries were too bad."
She broke down sobbing hysterically.
"Sakura-san, happy birthday-" Mami stopped, seeing the puffy eyes of Kyouko. "What's wrong?"
"...Go away, Mami. There's no birthday for me. They're gone. Dad found out about me being a magical girl...and...he.."
"What? What happened?" Mami asked.
"...He k-killed himself, my mother...and Momo...Momo died...Momo...I'm all alone now...it's all my fault...everyone died because of me!" She moaned, sobbing into Mami's shirt, who held her quietly.
"Sakura-san, no, Kyouko, you can live with me, if you want. I'll help you. My parents died, too."
"All right..." Kyouko sniffled.
-A while later-
"All right, Kyouko, so we'll split up and look for the familiar and then destroy it-what are you doing, Kyouko?" Mami asked.
"Who cares about the damned familiar? I'm more anticipating when it'll become a witch. Let's wait for a while."
"You mean you want it to kill some people?" Mami asked in shock, glancing at Kyouko in disbelief.
"...I don't give a flying fuck anymore, Mami. Everyone I care about is dead. Why the hell should I care what happens to them? It's all about livin' for yerself."
She took out her spear and started to stab the witch violently. "What's the matter, haven't gotten enough of it yet, ya bastard?"
"Kyouko, stop! That's not how you destroy a familiar! And you just let it have a human wander into its maze! I know you're upset over your family and all, but-"
Kyouko stabbed the witch and it let out a loud, piercing keen and died. "...Who cares? Mami, your naive talk about 'saving' people and justice just pisses me off. From now on, I'm livin' for myself. I don't care about anyone."
"You're only doing it so you won't be hurt anymore! We can work together! Please, don't leave me alone!" Mami begged.
"Yer naivete bugs me, Mami! Go home and act like a superhero if ya want. But I'm workin' alone from now on. Thank you for everythin', really. But try not to get in my way if you want."
"How is Mami doin' in Mitakihara?" Kyouko asked, biting into pieces of a fish sandwich as she talked to Kyubey.
"Mami was killed by a witch." Kyubey stated. Kyouko dropped the piece of fish out of her hand and stared.
"...What do ya mean, she's dead? That's absurd! Mami can't die, like that! I'm goin' there, myself!" She demanded.
"It's all my fault everythin' happened. But I've come to accept it. That's my life...we magical girls aren't heroes, Sayaka."
Sayaka listened. "I disagree. We can still bring some happiness into peoples' lives. Despite that you are a cynical, whiny, sadistic, and cruel bitch, you have good in you. Kyouko, I believe in you." She took her hand.
"...Ya do?" She said, quietly. "It's not mea culpa, or my fault anymore?"
"No, none of it is. I'll be by your side, and so will Madoka!" Sayaka chirped.
"This is unexpected. Miki Sayaka avoids becoming a witch and tames Kyouko? Perhaps this time will be the final one..." Homura whispered.
"...Sayaka-chan died..." Madoka whimpered. "Kyouko-chan, Homura-chan, what do we do...?"
Kyouko sighed. "...Ya know what I have to do, right, Homura? Let's give it everything we've got."
"Class, we have a new student. Please welcome Sakura Kyouko."
"GET THIS FUCKING, GODDAMNED DRESS OFF ME, HOMURA! I AIN'T WEARIN' IT!"
Everyone stared at Kyouko, who sighed.
"Stare and I'll knock your block off."
She sat beside Madoka, who smiled at her happily. Homura did as well.
"I think I've finally been forgiven," She said quietly.
-End-