Me and My Editor Katie wrote this together! we do not own any of the characters! Enjoy! 3

Mental Insanity

H=Hikaru Hitachiin

K=Kaoru Hitachiin

L=L Lawliet

B=Beyond Birthday

G=Guard

P=Psychiatrist

H: C'mon officer! We didn't do anything wrong!
G1: Having sex in public is illegal, not to mention the two of you are twin brother which makes it even more illegal.
H: I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOVE WHOEVER I LIKE!

K:... If you let us go we'll make sure it doesn't happen again...
G1: Sorry kid, can't do that. We're bringing you two to a pychiatrist, at the local prison ward. You'll be with one other twincest couple in the special wing. and maybe together you can all solve your disgusting habits?
H: Love ISN'T disgusting dammit!

L: Um excuse me but where are we going?
B: *Giggles* Mr. delusional officer seems to think we made some kind of sick, twisted porn-o video...
L: *Mortified* Y-you were filming?!
G2: The things i put up with... i need a coffee... anyways, you two are going to a counselling session to re-examine your lives.
L: P-pardon me?
G2: *Sighs* You will be paired with another couple *pulls out picture* and we all hope you can figure out how to um NOT do what u do...together...
B: *Snorts* The Hitachiin twins? Those soul-less gingers are going help us? Don't make me laugh!
L: You should talk about soul-less Beyond...
B: Should I really?! I think you should shut up Lawli-pop before I fuck you right here and now! Unless you want it... *giggles* which you do!
G2: I hate my job.

H: ... So your the psychiatrist person?
P: Yes.
H + K: *wrap arms around her* hmmm your pretty cute. I guess being stuck in this jail cell isn't so bad after all.
H: *poke* wanna join us for a threesome?
K: *poke* c'mon it'll be fun.
H K: *double poke* You know you wanna!
P: S-sit D-down
H K: And if we don't?
P: GAURDS!
G1: *handcuffs Hikaru*
G3: *handcufs Kaoru*
G 1+3: *Forces them to sit down then the door opens*
H K: Oh look. Our new toys have arrived. *twin smirk*

G2:All the best of luck boss... these two are quite a handful!
B: *Laughing* You haven't seen anything yet!
L: Don't mind him...*turns to the psychiatrist* My name is L *shakes her hand* I-
B: LAWLIET! The only fucking person you touch, IS ME! * Tackles L to the ground pinning L's hands on the floor above his head* GOT IT?
L: *gasps* y-yes
B: Good boy... *leans down and kisses L roughly* *looks at H, K and P* isn't he just so-
P: *eye twitches* ENOUGH OF THIS! you! *grabs B* sit down!
B: *amused* I'll play along.. *sits calmly down*
L: *gets up... then sits beside B in his signature fashion* Can we just begin? The sooner we start the sooner i can leave...

H: *relaxed position* Hey guys, what`s up.. *whispers to gaurd* How much will it take to leave all there confiscated belongings in the drawer in my room..
G3: *whispers back* I wouldn`t do that for 1,000,000 yen!
H: How bout 2,000,000..
G3: Fine...
H: *he smirks as he faces his new tpys again.
K: *shocked when he recognizes the name `Lawliet`from one of the donation papers his parents had on their desks* Your that detective, correct..

B: *Cocks his head at H's whispering* *mumbles* suspicious...
L: * Raises eyebrow* Correct, I am a detective...
B: Ya the world's kinky-est, best-est, sugar freak detective... *grins* I saw you eye those handcuffs *gestures to H&K* can't fool me Lawli-pop! *messes L's hair up*
L: Would you shut up B? And you two must be the Hitachiin twins...
B: Lemme guess... *sly grin* you, *points* are Hikaru and you...Kaoru. Nothing personal but I will always be able to tell you apart... *burst into fit of giggles* I have *snorts* EXTREMELY good eyes! *maniacal laughter*
L: *ignores B's ranting* You two are currently attending Ouran Academy, and were more than likely kicked out for taking your "twincest" act too far during the outrageous after school activity you call a"'host club" am i correct?...
B: L~~ I want jam!
L: Well i don't have any so be quiet and endure it...
B: *smirks* oh Lawliet... *mocking serious tone* you know i get what i want one way or another... *laughs* now... I. WANT. STRAWBERRY. JAM. *pulls out a knife, grinning*
G3: I'll take that.. *winks at Hikaru while snatching the knife* *leaves*

H K: Acthually You got it wrong.
K: I'm Hikaru
H: And i'm Kaoru.
H K: and we didn't take the act too far in the host club!
H: We took the act too far outside of the host club! *smirks* You see. Kaoru Was being a bad boy and needed a punishment and i didn't feel like waiting until we got home to give it to him.
K: HIKARU! *blushes* Your embarrassing me.
H: I'm sorry Kaoru. Will you forgive me?
K: Of coarse... Hikaru.
-twin moment-

B: *raises eyebrows* Unlike the other useless idiots in the world...you can't fool me!*smirks* Oh and i'm a serial killer, psychopathic, jam loving orphan so i wouldn't make me angry... *grins innocently*
L: He really will know who's who no matter what... He is also a seasoned... criminal. Additionally, you can't hide from Beyond Birthday...i've tried... *shudders*countless times...
B: To no avail! *smirks* I always find my precious Lawli-pop and then i punish him for running away... which isn't exactly punishment because he LOVES the way i dominate him! *winks at L*
L: Shut the hell up Beyond! And stop calling me that! ... *turn back to face the twins* Hmm..i see well having sex in public IS illegal and the fact that you're brothers makes it-
B: SO MUCH BETTER! *grins at the obvious twincest going on* see L? Why cant you and I do that?!
L:*facepalm* *mutters* I'm going to need sugar soon... I don't know how much more of this I am capable of enduring...

H: *while others are distracted by twincest he grabs a hidden boby pin from Kaoru's hair and strts to pick the locks on their hand cuffs*
P: STOP THAT AT ONCE! Were trying to solve that problem not make it worse!
H: aaaaaw c'mon!
K: You knnnnooooowwwwww you love it!
H K: What's not to love?
G1: Should we take them back to their rooms for today?
P: *nods trying to contain a heavily flowing nosebleed* y-yes
H K: Fine whatever... so where's our room?
G3: Well Hitachiin Hikaru is to bunk with B. You are both to follow me.
G2: And Hitachiin Kaoru and L will be sharing a room at the opposite side of this section.
H K: NO! We never sleep apart!
G2 G3: *prying them away from each other*
G1: I'll get the other two to there rooms you handle the Hitachiin brothers. *walks away with L and B*
H: Kaoru will have nightmares if we don't sleep together! YOU CAN'T LET MY BABY BROTHER GET NIGHTMARES!
G2: Your baby brother will be well looked after with the other Uke.
K: Hikaru... it's only one night... i-i'll be okay...
H: Kaoru... *kisses his brother on the forehead softly* tomorrow.. try and hold on till tomorrow okay?
G2 G3: *manage to bring their twin to the proper room*
G3: *whispers in Hikaru's ear* The confiscated items are in a hidden compartment located behind the pictures of the blue flowers.
H: *smirks and nods his head in acknowledgement*

L: *looks to B* so i guess we are being separated then...
B: aww Lawlie~~ are you sad?! ha! he'll probably be alive the next time you see him, Hikaru i mean... *smiles*
L: No actually it might be nice to relax... probably?! Beyond! No murdering!*pokes his chest*
B: *rolls his eyes* liar you are going to miss me! Well... see you lawli-pop *pats his head* i gotta go own the other seme! *maniacal grin*
L: *facepalm* *lets the guard take him to his shared room*
B: *absently hums a creepy tune while letting the guard take him away*

L: *arrives* Hello agian Hitachiin Kaoru... Are you really so upset in being separated form your brother?

K: *nods* W-we've always slept together ever since we were little because whenever i tried to sleep apart I'd have nightmares. Though i know that it's only for a little while and I'm quite a bit older then i was when i got nightmares so i should be fine. What I'm really worried about is Hikaru... he doesn't normally get along with others well and that won't change just because Beyond is a murderer.

B: *arrives* hey Hikarrrru! (rolled the 'r' in his name) Did the people here know that putting two seme's in one room would lead to disaster? *smirks devilishly*
H: Two seme's? *smirks* i only see one. Which would be myself.

L: *places his thumb to his lips* The relationship between two brothers is really quite intriguing to me... As an only and orphaned child i wouldn't know that type of companionship... *eyes widen slightly* Oh no... Kaoru... i fear for your brother's life... Beyond Birthday is NOT someone you want angry...*pulls up his shirt to reveal several scars in the process of healing along his toned stomach* Take it from someone who knows...

K: We have to get to my brother!... maybe we can fit inside the air vents...?

B: Heh! You really don't want to piss me off Hika.. are you aware that i murder people? Take pleasure from watching their jaws fall open in terror... *eyes gleam* mmmm the earth-shattering screams... heavenly...
H: *shrugs* cool, who really cares though... Not really my sorta games but whatever floats your boat. Now if you don't mind I'm getting outta here. A murderer could come in handy so if i get your confiscated weapons back to you will you area to help me and my brother escape?

L: I was just about to suggest that... considering our size and the dimensions of the vent we should be able to crawl through it. You're very smart Kao-kun, but when you are with you're brother... it doesnt show through... *climbs onto the bed post and unscrews the vent with a tiny screwdiver(that came outa no-where)* To me it seems a shame... *climbs into the vent and stretches his hand toward Kaoru*
K: Th-thank you... *takes hand* but i love my brother so it's only right that i follow his lead when we're together.

B: i AM good with my hands *laughs* And YOU of all people know how to get my weapons back? ha! you crack me up! *crosses arms* find one of my knives and i'll help... *smirks*

H: *moves picture* so you only want 1 of your knifes or all of them? *smirks*

L: *gently pulls Kaoru along the vent* While that makes sense..you should try showing him who you really are... Your very intelligent, and attractive I'm sure he would accept you and love you more... *turns and smiles at Kaoru*
K: *blushes* t-thank you... i just want to make my brother happy though and how i treat him now seams to do that perfectly!

B: Your pretty full of yourself huh? *smirks* its a cute look for you... well I'd love to have them all! But i don't think you can provide that...

H: *starts throwing knifes at B* catch!

L: *mumbles* cute when you blush... That's very nice of you... but what about your happiness? we cant let a frown ruin someone so attractive...
K: *blushes even more* y-your one to talk... about attractive. I can't compare to looks when it comes to someone like you. That's a fact. and my happiness? I don't care about it. All i care is that others around me are happy...

B: *jawdrop* *using extremely well trained reflexes catches knife after knife* You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding me! *walks to Hikaru* *grabs his collar* think your so smart? *backs him into a wall* think you can dominate me? *whispers in his ear* your wrong...

H: *switches positions with B pinning him to the wall. I don't Think anything! i Know i dominate you! *smirks*

L: *jawdrop* y-you think i'm attractive? *a faint twinge of pink spreads across his cheeks*
you should care... you should do what makes you happy.. its okay to be a little selfish and have what you want...
K: hmmm i don't know... I'm just here to support others... supporting others makes me happy *smiles to himself* and of coarse your attractive... or a better term would be hot but whatever works for you.

B: Ya? prove it! *kisses Hikaru roughly*

H: *Kisses back roughly and slivers his tongue into B's mouth*

L: I see... and you actually think so? That's incedibly sweet, your brother is lucky to have you... *sighs*

K: *notices the sigh* hmmm Lawliet is something wrong... the atmosphere around you seams to have changed to something... negative... i can't quite pinpoint the emotion...

B: *kisses Hikaru back wrestling with his tongue* *takes one hand and pushes Hikaru's head closer, while the other starts unbuttoning H's shirt* *starts groping him, feeling his muscles before sliding his hand up to find Hikaru's nipples*

H: *grabs the hem of B's shirt and removes it over his head. Then starts working on the zipper of his jeans*

L: Quite an observant fellow aren't you? It's just that Beyond is so...harsh.. sometimes i wish he'd be nicer to me... but he is a murderer..i must not lose sight of that fact... Thank you for listening to me Kaoru... I'm very thankful...
K: *smiles* if there's anything else i can do for you... i want to be able to help you Lawliet.

L: How incredibly kind you ar-

B: *shoves Hikaru on the floor* *taks a small elegant knife and cuts along Hikaru's collar bone just hard enough to make it bleed* *giggles into their heated kiss*

H: *throws B off of him and gets up off the floor* What the fuck! Do taint my perfect skin like that you psychotic bastard! This better heal perfectly and it better not stain my shirt! This is a Hitachiin original! If it stains i swear I'll KILL YOU MYSELF! *glare ferociously at B*

K: H-hikaru? That's Hikaru! Is Hika in trouble?! We have to get to them quickly!

B: *pounding his fists into the ground in a histerical state of murderous laughter* ... *abrubly stops laughing* dont worry sweetheart... you'll heal..i could've done much worse you know... henh henh quite a temper you have there... turns me on i must say. Dont worry Hika-chan *pins him on a bed, leaning to whisper in his ear* i like it rough...

L: Is that..? *facepalm* Beyond's maniacal laughter no less... Damn. Hurry. This way!

K: HIKARUUUU! I"M COMING!

H: *throws B of him smirking* that's a lil trick i learned from Honey-senpai! Kaoru! I'm here!

Kaoru: *arrives at correct vent and throws himself into Hikarus arms* Hikaru! *see's blood* Your hurt! Hikaru! *cries a bit!
H: *shakes his head and brings Kaoru in closer to himself* I'm not Kaoru. Not anymore because... now your here *smiles*
K: H-hika-
H: *leans down and presses his lips gently against his brothers*
K: *kisses back*

L: *drops out of the vent silently taking in the scene*
B: *raises his eyebrows at the twins* a paper cut would be worse.. *snorts* Lawlipop! i knew you would come for me... you just can't stay away!
L: Don't flatter yourself Beyond... I came here because uniting forces will get us out of here faster... i have work to do..
B: someone's in a bad mood today...
L: Shut up B...

H: *pulls apart from Kaoru* Kaoru... B's gonna get us out of here okay?
K: *nods and smiles* So was Beyond nice?
H: um... let's not get into that.
K: Well Lawliet... he's amazing! You've got to meet him properly!
H:...
K: Lawliet! You two haven't met properly! this is my brother Hikaru!
H: Let's just get out of here...

B: I'm totally nice! In my own-
L: Sick, twisted way...
B: you love it!
L: shut up!
B: *looks at the twins* you'd never see it coming but he's totally the S&M type!
L: *fuming* *without warning kicks B onto the ground, pinning his stomach down with one foot* i thought i told you to shut up Beyond...
B: woah... didn't see that one coming...
L: *looks up calmly at the twins* i took the liberty in memorizing the layout of the building, if we work together and use the weapons Beyond here- *puts pressure on his abs*
B: Owwww
L:- has so conveniently snuck in here we can escape without complication...*looks back down at B* you...need to behave!
B: okay okay fine... you get half an hour and then you'll pay for this!

H: first i'd like to mention that I bribed the gaurds to give me his weapons so technically it was me who snuck them in here. Which means *claims largest knife from pile* this here belongs to me now. Kaoru you get that crossbow there or something!
K: *nods* okay.
H: So we gonna escape now?

B: Not. That. Knife.
L:Umm Hikaru i'd advise you to put that one down...before he..kills you...
B: No-one..touches THAT knife but me... *growls out his next few words* get your filthy hands off! now.
L: calm down...
B: ... make him put my knife down!

H: *snickers* nuh-uh! i paid fair and square for this here knife and i intend to use it!... *smirks* maybe if you get us out of here I'll give it back.
K: let's make this interesting.
H K: If you can get us out of here in 30 minutes we'll give you your knife back. If not we keep your knife.
K: wanna play?
H: It's called the "30 minutes to get your knife back" game!
-twin smirk-

L: *muttering to himself in different languages*
B: *raises eyebrows* okay, i like games... but if there is one scratch on my precious knife... i will kill you both...slowly *grins*
L: No. killing!
B: No sugar for 1 hour and you turn into the hulk...*takes a lollipop out of his pocket* here... now get us out of here... 27 minutes Lawliet!
L: *greedily snatches the candy* Everyone... please chose a weapon! *picks up a gun, loading it* And beyond, put a shirt on.
B: *whining* why? Does this *flexes muscles* distract you?
L: *unamused stare*
B: *puts his shirt back on*

K: Hika you should put a shirt on too.
H: *smirks* or you could take your shirt off. Then we'd match again.
K: but your cut!
H: it's almost invisible.
K: *nods and pulls off his shirt smiling* okay Hika if your sure.
H K: we're ready to go!

L: Great, let's get out of here... everyone please follow me and be quiet...*looks pointedly at B*
B: What?
L: *expertly picks the lock on the door, in seconds it swings open* this way *points left*
B: *stealthy picks up a belt of syringes, putting it on while L picks the lock* *grabs two medium sized knives, a pair of handcuffs, and a pair of sunglasses* *follows the twins out of the door*

H K: *follows*

L: the layout of the building is simple but we must maintain a low profile as not to give ourselves away to the guards... *looks at B*
B: *puts on sunglasses and twirls the handcuffs around his finger*
L: *facepalm*

H K: *chanting loudly* we're escaping! we're escaping!

L: *sarcasm* yeah.. real low profile guys...
B: *joins in the chanting*
L:*swearing in various languages*
B: *winks at L* no worries babe i know how to escape...

K: *stops chanting before his brother*
H: *stops chanting as well* wtf Kaoru?
K: well... *mumbles* L's having a hard enough time as is, let's not make it worse... if thats okay with you?
H: but...chanting is fun...what do you care for the detective person? *shoots L a dirty look*
K: i.. um, well of course i don't really...*trails off*

B: Woah Lawli.. having all the fun without me huh? whats the deal with the ginger-kid... much too young for you... *winks*
L: We talked. I like him. unlike some people.. he actually treats me like i'm human...

K: *blushes profusely*
H: Kao whats up? is something going on between you two?
K: well..um..i don't- of course not Hika...
H: Don't lie to me *tilts K's chin upwards*
K: *Blushes even more* *barely above a whisper* i like him a little *innocent/child-like eyes*
H: We both knew this was only temporary... so if you've found someone...
K: *blushes even more-if possible*

B: *checks watch* *cracks neck* 17 minutes until i kill you two *points at the twins* and toture my lawlipop to my hearts content.. *turns to L* which may be a while.
L: *totally ignores B* *walks over to Kaoru, takes his hand and leads him away*
B H: *fuming/following*

K: *squeezes L's hand and shyly smiles through the blush*

B H: he's too young(B)/old(H) for you! *whining*
L K: want some cheese with that wine?!
L: *turns back to Kaoru, smiling at their joint retort* See that's exactly what i'm talking about.. you must not let your brother control your actions and words, make your own decisions Kaoru, i'm confident you'll be happier.
K: *Kisses L quickly, pulls away slightly, so the next words will only be heard by him* you're right... i am happier...
L: ... *smiles down at Kaoru affectionately*

H: *white-faced/speechless*
B: *growls, and throws a knife at Kaoru's head*

L: *pulls Kaoru very close, allowing him to ecaspe B's throw*
K: *bury's his head in L's chest*
L: It's okay.. i'm not going to let him hurt you...

B: *narrows his eyes* *glances at watch* lucky number 13! c'mon down to recieve a special prize! *laughs without humour*
H:-

K: We should probably get going... before B... uh... loses it...
H: He's alreadly lost it... and so have i...*dark aura* How could you move on so quickly? i mean.. you kissed him!?
B: we kissed...
H: that;s NOT the same... How are you so calm your brother just-
B: *chuckles* we're not brothers.

K: you guys kissed?!
L: Can't say i'm surprised by this...

H:we almost had sex but it didnt MEAN anything.. i just wanted to be the dominant seme!
B: Which... *looks at Hikaru* you failed at.
H: Wanna say that again!?
B: Sure. *clears throat* . .
H: *charges B with his large knife, making quick work of both his shirt and jeans* Take. *kisses left side of B's collar bone* it. *kisses middle* BACK! *right side*
B: (specifically chose this day to fail at wearing boxers..a/n: dats right he's totally nude guys!) Make me.

K: H-Hikaru?
Lreak it up lovebirds! we need to leave...

H: *kissing B's neckline, moving up until he reaches B's ear* *whispers* imma screw you so hard you're gunna wish you never said anything!*nibbles on his earlobe*
B: Fuck you
H: That's what i was planning on...

K: Hikaru! *starts crying* we gotta *voice cracking* go...
L: Shhh... it's okay...*holding Kaoru gently in his arms*

H: *immediately sensing Kaoru's distress* Kaoru? *pulls completely away from B* What's wrong?
B: *sighs* just when it was getting good too...
H: *walks over to where L and K are standing, locked in an embrace* I'm sorry... you know i do stupid things when i'm upset! *pulss Kaoru away from L, into his open arms*
K: I'm sorry i made you upset...
H: *wipes Kaoru's tears off his cheeks while simultaneously tilting K's chin up* Kaoru...
K: Hikaru...
H K: *twin moment!* (a/n: kyaaaaaaa!can u tell we approve of tWINcest)