He Who Continues To Wait
Knowing someone isn't coming back doesn't mean you ever stop waiting – Toby Barlow
"Oi, Oyaji—" Marco stops as if he's hit a wall and grits his teeth as he grips the handle tightly.
The room is silent and it is mocking; the 'gurararara' sounds so real to his ears that Marco has to remind himself (with knuckles turning white on the handle) that Oyaji isn't there anymore and he'll never hear that sound again.
He turns around and strides (nearly runs) out of the room, the door making a harsh 'boom' as it slams closed. He swallows a few times, tries to ignore how his eyes sting and how his throat closes up, and opens the first door he sees.
It is the kitchen. The chefs are already cooking for lunch and Marco sees one cook (tall, broad shouldered, brunet) lift a tray with a massive pig on it. The cook starts to lean backwards a bit because of the weight and Marco snorts.
"Tha—"
But the cook turns around and Marco snaps his mouth closed with a loud click. His bottom lip starts trembling, although he doesn't know why (he's angry, so angry—at himself, at them, at the Marines, Blackbeard), and turns around before anyone can say anything, stomping down the hallways with tears stinging his eyes again.
Marco isn't sure where he is going but he is so grateful that he is by his own cabin door (he doesn't want to think what that means, because he isn't commander anymore so this is—nodonotgothere). He practically rips it off its hinges to get inside and immediately pulls as hard as he can to close it again.
He stumbles to his seat by his desk and falls into it with a (shaky) sigh. Marco places his arms on his desk and lets himself rub his eyes on them; he viciously drags his head from side to side (hopingbelievingwanting) to keep his eyes from stringing.
It doesn't help.
Marco knows he is more gasping for air than actually breathing at this point—he doesn't care; something in him is burning and hurting and painful and he doesn't think he'll ever be healed or okay or happy again.
He sees out of the corner of his eye a packet and immediately reaches for it; it is a new packet and Marco rips of the plastic, grabs inside and pulls out one cigarette. He is about to lighten it with his blue fire but—
"Hey, Thatch, pass me one, yoi."
"Damn, the lighter isn't—oi Ace! Light this for me will you, yoi?"
"You shouldn't smoke on top of having your drinking Oyaji. It's not good for your health, yoi."
"Oh, God damn it," Marco says quietly. His voice breaks and cracks and something in him dies.
He buries his face in his arms again, his hands in fists so tightly that his nails leave his palms bloody, and tries to keep his nose from running or his throat from closing up or his eyes from getting hotter.
It doesn't work.
Marco sobs and wails but still tries to stop it even if he knows (at this point) that it's futile; tears and snot run down his face and he chokes when he imagines what Thatch would say, what Ace would do and how Oyaji's presence would feel. The packet lies forgotten on the floor and he notes in the back of his head to throw them into the ocean as soon as possible (because it is too painful).
He expects Ace to barge into his room and demand food or to play a game. He expects to hear laughter and the voices of his siblings. He expects Oyaji's laugh. He expects Thatch to plan another prank. He waits but chokes again when he reminds himself (againandagainandagainandagain):
They aren't coming.
But Marco still continues to wait.
.–.–.–.–.–.–.–.
Author Note:
Follow this link and your heart will break. Mine did.
(remove spaces) carolinayuki . tumblr post / 36063519291 / knowing-someone-isnt-coming-back-doesnt-mean
In some ways, Marco's been a bit of the forgotten party. What happened to Luffy was horrible and tragic but at least he had his nakama (it doesn't make it hurt any less, but you know, he had something left). Marco lost both of his closest brothers (and several others) and his 'father', and all he's got left are bits and pieces that are a cheap mimicry of what'd been before (and I really think that they'll either end up separating or staying together to do justice to WB name).
(BTW, what episodes do they show flashbacks of the WB pirates?)
Thank you for reading and please review!