Restless- A Finchel Drabble
He can't sleep, actually he hasn't been sleeping, The wind bustles outside his window, the curtains flying whilst he shivers. He can't stop thinking about her. He tries to close his eyes and the image of her in her pretty lilac cocktail dress, her hair curled with some ringlets framing her pretty heart shaped face with him to hold her. He just wants her. He wants her to want him again. She can't just move on. It's not fair. Because he hasn't moved on.
Sure he's got blond HBIC Quinn Fabray and they're all overloading on the whole PDA thing. But now, this instant, he feels empty. The wind creating goose bumps on his pale skin and he wishes she was lying here with him in his tiny single bed, like used to. He would spoon her, wrap his arms around her petite waist, their bodies radiating heat as he fell asleep soundly.
He can't sleep today, thinking she's going with Sam-I-Am-I-Don't-Eat-Green-Eggs-And-Ham. Seriously? This better not be just a ploy for him to get a leg up on him for stealing Quinn from his pretty boy charms. He breathes out, frustrated, trying desperately to clear his thoughts.
Since when were they friends anyway? He rubs his temples, sitting himself up on his elbows. He spies his phone on the dresser next to the bed. Out of sheer impulse, he taps the buttons and wills himself to write her a message. It's 2:13am. Maybe this isn't a good idea. No, he has to know. The curiosity is killing him.
'Is it true? You and Sam dating now?'
He lies on his back, anxiously waiting. She's probably asleep by now, unless she's studying hard with those all-nighters she sometimes gears herself up for. He still remembers her schedule. He laughs bitterly. Rachel Berry is like carbon blotted ink on paper, you just can't erase her. She has this magnetic pull to him and he can't help himself.
He hears a beep in a few minutes.
'Why? What's it to you? You made it perfectly clear you longer want me. I'm a free agent, Finn. I can date whoever I like. How Quinn?'
He stares at the screen; he can practically hear the harshness to her tone. She's still mad at him from hiding that stupid relationship. He wants to kick himself. How's he supposed to answer that? He slams his head against the pillow, reading the message again, the last words echoing in his head.
He has a girlfriend now, a very demanding materialistic status obsessed one. He sighs. What did get him into? The same girl who told him he impregnated her in a hot tub for months? The same girl who didn't even have the nerve to apologize, a year after the debacle.
'I'm an idiot. I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you to get hurt'.
He figures she's turned off her phone in a classic Rachel Berry rage out so he wills his eyes shut for a moment, trying to process that she's with someone else now.
'Too late. You've hurt me enough to last a lifetime. I thought we were friends. I was wrong'.
He slams his fist on the mattress, the spring bouncing. What the heck does that mean? He can't sleep. He flounces himself off the bed and puts on his denim jacket and some pair of jeans lying on floor over his shorts. The window is still open, the wind howling and the air giving him chills.
He doesn't know what possesses him to be this crazy, maybe 6 months of dating Rachel had somehow rubbed off the insanity on him. But in record time he's outside her window, he notices the light is on. He knew it. She's probably writing.
He looks up, the green front yard making his gigantic figure incongruous. He slips his phone out of his pocket, alerting her.
'Open the door. We need to talk.'
He sees her peeking out her window and has to stop from laughing when her adorable glare meets his eyes. She open to window.
'What are you doing here?' She shrieks.
She's making all these hand gestures that she does when she's really mad or worked up about something. He tries to refrain himself from laughing. Then he sees what she's wearing, those cute little shorts and that camisole with the butterflies on it. She looks so irresistible right now. His heart skips a beat as he watches her mouth move, blocking out the sound of her angry words, while her glistening hair blows in the wind.
'Let me up!'
'No! You need to go home right now. It's like 2:37'.
He can feel himself blush at the bare flesh she's exposing right now, the camisole hugging her perky breasts perfectly, her shorts tightening her ass. He just wants to be close to her so badly.
'I can't sleep.'
She's crossing her arms right now and scowling. She is so freaking adorable when she's mad.
'That's my problem?'
'Yes! It's all your fault.'
Her hands move to her hips now and he laughs a little.
'Finn Hudson…'
'Come on just let me up and I'll explain why you're causing my sleep deprivation'.
'It's called insomnia, Finn.'
'Whatever.'
'Ok I'm coming down, stay there. You're gonna wake the neighbors'.
He watches her figure disappear and the front door click, she approaches him with her red coat hugging her figure.
He stands there still for a moment before she reaches him.
They're standing face to face now. He notices are eyes have dark rings on them and she looks like she hasn't been sleeping much either. He so desperately wants to stroke her cheek.
'What do you want?'
'You.'
'Well you can't have me.'
He sees tears form and threaten to spill down her plump cheeks. He can't help it, his clumsy hands stroke the salty hot tears away and he bends down to kiss them away, one hand on her waist as he pulls her to him.
His throat bobs from the sight of her. She is so beautiful. Even at 3am. No makeup, no sleep, just her on her natural glory. When her lips crash into his, his grip on waist while her hands circle his neck, tasting the strawberry chap stick. He knows he'll never get enough of her.
They break for air; he realizes he's crying too. Her brown eyes look up at it, all regretful. She turns, avoiding eye contact.
'You need to go, Finn'.
He takes her hands and yanks her back to him, trying to steal another kiss but she resists.
'Rach…'
He wipes her tears away again, her eyes glued to the floor.
'I can't do this to Sam. You can't do this to Quinn. I'm not going to be the other woman again.' Her tone is so indignant right now.
'You were never the other woman Rach, you're it. You're mine'.
She's shouting now, throwing her hands is the air.
'No, I'm not. You don't have a claim on me anymore. I'm going with Sam and you can be prom king with Quinn for all I care. I just…I can't keep torturing myself this.'
He feels the pain in her voice and it damn near kills him to see her like this, so broken. He sighs, the air creating a fog of his breath.
'Rachel, we can make this work again. Ok, I can't be with her and you can't be with him. We'd just be kidding ourselves. The worst has happen, Santana, Puck, Quinn…I'll break it off, ok? We'll start over.'
She's shaking her head right now with a pure look of disgust in her face.
'You only want me when you can't have me. It's all about the chase. You know what you can have it. I'm done.'
Now he's angry, the blood boiling, warming his freezing form against the windy night.
'No it's not! You know I still love you and I know you still love me.'
She gulps, her breath hitches against the fog, she's shivery and rubs her arms to keep her warm, pulling her into his embrace.
'Let's get inside. People are gonna start waking up soon and I don't wanna feel the wrath of your fathers like the last time I snuck in.'
She's clutching to his side and he pulls her up off the floor bridal style as they head upstairs to her cozy bedroom.
'You look overwrought.'
'I've been practicing the guitar and trying to learn the sheet music for some of the thing Sam's been teaching me.'
He seethes with jealousy at the sound of his name; he hates how she utters his name in such an adoring way. She used to speak of him that way. He can't help feeling like he's been replaced. They're friends. She's his best friend and now they're drifting apart.
He lays her on the bed gently, tugging the cover over her.
'You should sleep', he mumbles softly. 'We'll talk tomorrow.'
'No,' Rachel groans. 'Get in.'
He stumbles into her giant bed, his arms circling her waist, his chin meeting the warm place between the crook of her neck as they snooze off. He smiles into the embrace. He never could sleep without her.
Finn Hudson is restless without Rachel Berry.