The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing

But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings

Peter Gabriel - Book of Love

"Why, exactly, do I need to dress up in this just to go to this… Town Hall place?"

Frieza wasn't fond of wearing clothing that was so constricting, which is why he didn't wear his formal suit very often. Even if he appreciated the gesture of Yamcha buying him a tuxedo, as they were called on Earth, he wasn't really keen into wearing it just to some random place to sign a form.

"It's just an Earth custom," Yamcha tried to reason with his husband to be, "I mean, it's better than a ceremony, right?"

"I suppose," Yamcha had a point, "though, I do have an obnoxious promise to keep."

"A promise?" this was a first - Yamcha had never really known Frieza to keep promises at all.

"An obnoxious promise," the icejin flicked his tail in annoyance, "you'll see when we go to this Town Hall place, I'm sure."

"Well, alright," Yamcha didn't know whether to be worried or scared or both. However, the sight of Frieza in the black tuxedo he had brought him made him smile, "you look amazing in that."

The icejin smiled back. The tuxedo was black and tailored for Frieza's body, the shirt was white, and the tie was purple. It matched him to a T, and even accommodated his thick tail. Yamcha himself was wearing a matching tux, though his tie was white, ironically. Frieza wondered why he had chosen that colour, but decided not to think about it too heavily.

And so, the pair flew off to Town Hall, where Yamcha had rung on ahead and booked to have them both seen to sign their marriage certificate. It was there that they were met with one hell of a scene.

Beerus and Whis were waiting for them, which Frieza seemed to expect, but honestly scared the hell out of the poor receptionist, who was just trying to do their job.

"Lord Beerus?" Yamcha looked shocked, "Whis? Um… what are you doing here?"

The angel smiled at the pair, "well, we were promised by Frieza that we were going to be invited, the day you two were married. Though, I expected a ceremony…"

The food part was silently implied.

"O-oh, well…" Yamcha laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "um, we decided against a ceremony… but we can always go out to eat?" he offered, though he had to wonder how, or WHY, Frieza had chosen to invite a pair of deities to his nuptials. He glanced at Frieza, who had his arms folded and a distinct pink tinge to his cheeks. Was he embarrassed?

"Frie-"

"Don't ask."

"Um, okay."

It was all that could be done as Beerus acted as the authority figure to legalise the marriage, since Frieza was not a resident of Earth and technically, he could officialise anything he chose in his own Universe, though the humans didn't exactly know that.

Frieza looked at the questions on the form with some degree of agitation. Really, why was all of this ridiculous profiling needed? He swore if he ever had to fill out anything like this again, he'd blow up this so called Town Hall and be done with it!

"Surname?" he blinked. What the hell was that? A second name? The icejin got a wicked idea, and instead of writing in Galactic Standard, he simply rewrote his own name but in his mother language.

Title? Hmm… Prince or Lord… he decided to go with Lord. Gender? He almost wanted to mess with them and write 'other', just to keep them guessing, but eventually he just circled the M on the form.

Address? 'Universe 7,' he snickered to himself as he wrote it down.

Date of birth… Frieza pondered that one. When would his birthdate be? It took a moment of him tapping his lip to realise what it was, and scribed it down in the appropriate boxes. With that all done, he signed it.

"All done~" he smirked and handed the paper over to Yamcha.

"Thank you for this-" he looked at the paper, then at Frieza, who didn't look apologetic in the slightest, and he had to chuckle a little, "you had fun with this, didn't you?"

"Just be glad I didn't make it more fun, dear husband~" he teased.

That was a good point.

Yamcha filled out his own paperwork, and handed it to Beerus with thanks. Beerus merely took said form and filed it without consulting the poor humans gawking at him, took out one of their Marriage certificates, and then he and Whis signed their own names as witnesses. Yamcha put his down, and so did Frieza.

"All done," they were now, on Earth, officially married.

"Good, now let's leave," Frieza huffed, "this place is annoying."

"For once, Frieza, you and I can agree on something," the God of Destruction stretched, "now, let's eat!"

Yamcha had the certificate framed when they got home. Part of him was pretty giddy about the fact that he essentially had his marriage blessed by the gods, but he wasn't going to tell Frieza that. They had all gone out to eat steak, the good kind, and although Beerus had had it before, he didn't seem to be complaining.

Though, the bill… Yamcha sighed. At least he earned a good living.

The pair were on the roof of their house and enjoying a cup of tea. Every now and then, Yamcha glanced at his left hand at the ring sparkling there, even under moonlight, and smiled at it.

"You seem to like it~"

Of course Frieza would've noticed.

"I love it," Yamcha smiled at it, and then his now husband, "and now we're really married! It's pretty incredible…"

"I suppose for you," Frieza had had a lot more time to process it, considering Yamcha had 'proposed' five days after meeting him, so now it was probably hitting his human harder.

"Haha… yeah…" ah, if only he had known.

The icejin finished his tea, and he supposed it wasn't so bad. He had worn nice clothes, and had some fun at others expense. He was sure the humans looking at his profile were probably scratching their heads looking at it.

"Hey… you know," Yamcha turned to his partner, "your birthdate… I don't think that day even exists on Earth."

"My planet has a much longer year than yours does. It was the closest date I could think of," Frieza shrugged and set aside the cup.

"Those poor office clerks are probably trying to decipher your last name,"

"Good luck to them. The language is a dead one."

That was honestly kind of sad, and Yamcha was silent for a moment. He then asked, "will you say something to me? In your language?"

Frieza blinked, and thought about that for a moment. His old language… he was fluent in it, because his family had been, but he was a little rusty from having not used it in so long. It took him a moment to compile what he wanted to say.

He turned to his human… his silly, scarred human who had changed his life, and said in a language that sounded like singing, "ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າ ຈະບໍ່ເວົ້າເລື່ອງນີ້ ໃຫ້ທ່ານໃນພາສາທີ່ ທ່ານຮູ້ແຕ່ຂ້ອຍຮັກທ່ ານຫລາຍກວ່ າທີ່ຂ້ອຍຈະສົນ ໃຈສະແດງອອກ."

He had finally said it…

Yamcha looked impressed, "wow… your language is really pretty! What did you say?"

But Frieza only snickered, "I'll never say."

"Awww, come onnnn…"

"Nope~"

"That's so unfair!"

"Of course it is~"

"Friezaaaa…"

'I will never say this to you in a language you know, but I love you more than I will ever care to express, you silly human.'