In the mirror, a girl looks over her swollen and purple left cheekbone. It hurts to touch, but she brings a sponge up to it anyway and wipes on a coating of cover-up followed by a layer of foundation that she evenly spreads over her fair skin. She's gotten good at this over the past year, learning to put on just the right amount of makeup to make it look like she just wears too much rather than like she has something to hide.
Why does she have these wounds, you ask? Because of her boyfriend.
Who is she? Her name is Jadelyn August West. And this is the story of her: the porcelain girl.
For her entire life, Jade had lived in one town and gone to the same school with her friends. She had never been bothered by social norms like dating and first kisses during middle school. While her friends were out at the movies with their boyfriends and girlfriends, Jade would happily stay home to watch movies and write.
When high school rolled around, though, Jade began to long to be like normal teenage girls. She wanted a boyfriend. She wanted her first kiss. She wanted her first dance.
On her first day of high school, Jade stepped through the doors tentatively, worrying about her new choice appearance. Her formerly straightened chocolate brown hair had been meticulously hand-curled and colored streaks decorated the ringlets; her crystalline blue eyes were now enhanced with slightly more makeup; and two piercings had been added to her soft, fair face: one to her right nostril and the other to her left eyebrow. The piercings were an open defiance to her parents' overbearing rules, and Jade embraced that. She wanted to form her own personality and branch away from her controlling father.
Before Jade could even make her way to homeroom, her almost too-excitable friend Cat bounded over with her brightly dyed hair announcing her arrival. "Isn't it great? We're in high school now! And nobody moved away!"
Jade smiled slightly and nodded. She wasn't one for emotions or long conversations, but it's hard not to smile at a very excitable redhead.
"Ooh," Cat squealed, "there's Beck!"
Jade looked in the same direction as Cat to find Beck walking toward them.
Beck was the popular boy at their school. He was tall, dark, and handsome with soft, flowing hair. Girls followed him around and swooned whenever they would make eye contact with him.
He and Jade had been great friends since elementary school and, as Jade had admitted to Cat at one point, she had had quite the crush on him in middle school.
"Hey Jade, Cat," Beck greeted as he walked over to where the girls were talking. "Where are we all going to first?"
The three friends exchanged schedules before parting ways and heading to their respective classes.
At lunchtime, Jade and Cat left English together before meeting up with Beck and walking to the lunch table. There, they met two of their other friends: a geeky boy with dark curly hair and glasses named Robbie and a black boy named Andre. The five teenagers grabbed their lunches and sat around a table eating and talking about this year's classes.
Andre rambled on for a while about how thrilled he was with the fact he got to take a music theory class and how much he looked forward to it. Robbie expressed his excitement for the computer design course he was taking next semester. Cat piped in with a story about when her brother took that class.
The entire time Jade watched her friends talk, she felt a gaze set on herself. Eventually, she figured out that Beck was watching her and turned to face him.
"Do you want something?" she snapped in a hushed tone so that the others couldn't hear.
"Uh, yeah actually. Can I talk to you in the hallway?"
Beck and Jade excused themselves from the table and walked out of the room, where they faced each other.
"What do you want?" Jade spoke first.
"You, actually," Beck admitted. Jade was taken aback. He chased many girls, but she had assumed that she would always be friend-zoned. "Do you want to go out for sushi or something?"
Jade nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that. Saturday at lunchtime there's a special."
"Sounds like a date," Beck smiled, hugging the girl. She hugged back.
Jade spent Saturday morning sitting cross-legged on her bed with a sketchbook in her lap. She doodled cartoon-like pictures of voodoo dolls with their hands pinned together and skeletons with their bony fingers intertwined and zombies offering their hearts to each other, all surrounded by intricate hearts and roses and the occasional "Mrs. Jade Oliver" in fancy writing.
Jade reveled in this newfound enjoyment for boys, but it worried her, too. She was never very into the concept of teenage romance.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she sang one of her favorite songs from her favorite musical: 13.
I'm a good girl
I don't do that
I'm a nice girl
Put that away
I'm a good girl
Keep your hands off
If you tell him that
Then you'll be okay
She finished the chorus before looking herself over in the mirror again. "Who am I kidding? He's one of my best friends. He won't hurt me."
Two weeks after they started dating, Jade found her mood lightened in regards to most of her life. Beck was the best thing that had ever happened to her and she loved every minute she spent with him.
Beck took her on a different date every Friday and bought her something special once a month. He was always sweet, even though he was extremely protective of her.
One week in October, Jade and Andre paired up on a Chemistry project, which they worked on after school. Jade had turned off her phone to avoid disruptions and lost track of time: by the time she saw the clock, it was almost eight thirty and she still had to go home and do other homework.
Also waiting on her phone were two voicemails from her mother and seventeen text messages from Beck. Seventeen!
Jade listened to the voicemails and then checked the messages:
3:10 Hey baby just got home xo
3:30 How are things going?
3:48 Watching tv. Thinking of u xo
4:01 How's the project going?
4:04 Who's ur partner anyway?
4:10 Is ur partner Andre?
4:14 Ur not cheating on me w him r u?
4:19 Jade u'd better reply soon.
4:25 Ur fucking him aren't u? That's y u won't reply!
4:31 Call me.
4:33 Nvm don't call me. We're thru.
5:01 I'm so sorry baby I didn't mean it. Call me plz xo
5:39 Just ate dinner. U almost done yet?
6:11 Did I do something wrong? Y won't u reply?
6:27 I c. Ur too busy for me. I get it.
7:03 Taking a run and leaving my phone here. I'd love a text when I return xo
8:20 Disappointed. No text. U done yet?
Jade shook her head at the mass of messages and called Beck after texting her parents to come pick her up.
"Hey, Beck, I'm done working on my project with Andre."
"Hey baby. So happy you called," Beck practically cooed from the other end. "Tell me about your project."
The rest of the year passed fairly smoothly. Sure, Jade and Beck bickered, but what couple didn't? Jade spent every spare evening with her boyfriend at his place and enjoyed herself every time.
On the last day of school, Jade and Beck returned to his house to relax for the rest of the day and enjoy having the house to themselves. She sat down on the couch and waited for Beck to join her. Eventually, he did.
With his arm wrapped around Jade, Beck started a movie. Fifteen minutes passed quietly with him playing with her fingers in silence. Eventually, since Jade hadn't said anything, Beck stood up. "I'm getting something to drink," he announced. "Want anything?"
Jade shook her head and her curls bounced. "No thanks, I'm good."
Beck left without another word and disappeared into the kitchen, where he grabbed two bottles from the fridge and brought them back out to the living room.
"Beer?" Jade asked as she eyed up the bottles.
"Yeah. You're a little tense. You should drink one." Beck popped open one bottle and set it on a coaster before her.
"But, Beck, I don't want any."
"Drink the beer," he cooed as he opened his own bottle and sat down beside her, gulping it deeply. "You know I didn't drug it or anything. I opened it in front of you. And I wouldn't do that. I love you."
"I love you too," Jade smiled, her blue eyes twinkling in the dim light.
"Then drink the beer." Beck grabbed the bottle and shoved it into his girlfriend's dainty hands. "If you love me, drink it."
Jade dropped her head and looked at the bottle. He had her trapped. She really didn't want to drink it, but she would feel like she had betrayed him if she didn't.
"Drink the damn beer," Beck almost growled. His eyes locked with Jade's and she frowned.
Without a word, Jade took the bottle and sniffed it. Oh well, she thought and took a sip.
It was intoxicating. Alcohol had never passed Jade's lips before that moment and she wasn't expecting the effect at all. After ten minutes, Jade finished the bottle.
"Jade, you look like you need to go up to bed," Beck smiled and kissed his girlfriend's forehead. "Let's go."
She nodded and stood up as Beck scooped her up bridal-style and carried her up the stairs to his bedroom where he closed the door behind him and locked it. She watched with a confused expression on her face.
"Privacy," he explained. "Parents might be home soon."
Jade allowed herself to be set on his full-sized bed and he climbed in beside her, planting kisses all over her face until he finally got to her lips.
"Beck, please, not now. I don't feel well."
Beck didn't stop. In fact, he kissed harder as he climbed atop her frame and placed his legs between hers. "Do you love me?" he asked.
Jade's eyes met his. Lust radiated from Beck's expression, but covering it was another expression. He looked almost innocent, his chocolate brown eyes softening with arched, questioning eyebrows.
"Yes," she answered in a whisper.
"Do you trust me?"
Jade only nodded.
Beck leant down again and kissed his girlfriend deeply. While pinning her down with his own body, he reached across her to his nightstand.
Jade's eyes went wide and she fought back. "Please, no," she begged. "Please."
Beck didn't listen. He stripped her first and then himself and took one thing from Jade that she could never get back: her virginity.
The next week, whenever they went out, Beck kept Jade attached to his hip at all times. If they weren't talking to their friends, he would pull her close and kiss her whether she wanted it or not.
One morning, Beck sat on his bed while Jade tried on assorted bathing suits for their trip to the beach that afternoon.
"I really like this one," Jade smiled as she emerged from the bathroom wearing a dark red monokini with a silver ring around the belly button.
Beck shook his head. "Don't you dare wear that. You look like a slut."
Saddened, Jade returned to the bathroom with another bathing suit: a black bikini. When she reemerged, Beck nodded in approval. She really didn't like this one, but it made Beck happy.
At school the next year, Jade sat in health class while the teacher droned on about abusive relationships. When will this ever apply to me? she wondered. It's not like Beck's abusive. He's just a little protective, that's all.
Because she knew there would be a test later, Jade began taking notes. As she scribbled down the information being spewed at her, she questioned it against her own relationship. Mood swings, name calling, possessiveness, dominance. All of these things were like Beck.
She started to get scared. Her hand shot up in the air. "May I go to the bathroom?"
The teacher excused her and Jade practically ran to the bathroom. She needed a breather. She needed to sort out the mess in her head.
In the bathroom, she ran into the school's new girl, Tori Vega.
"Are you okay?" Tori asked. Her tone irritated Jade: she didn't like pity, especially when it came from a girl she barely knew. Tori sat at Jade's lunch table, sure, but the girl was far from a friend to Jade.
"I'm fine. I just need space."
"If you say so," Tori half-whispered. "Let me know if you ever need anything."
"I don't need anything!" Jade snapped and glared up at the skinny, brown-eyed girl who stood nearby. "Leave me alone!"
Tori opened her mouth in shock, then closed it again. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. If Jade didn't want help, she wouldn't give it; however, she would always be there in case the clearly upset blue-eyed girl ever changed her mind.
Jade rested her head on her knees for a few moments while sitting on the ground of the bathroom. Maybe she would talk to Beck about it in the afternoon. That sounded like a good plan.
After school, Jade went back to Beck's place like any typical Tuesday. They walked into the kitchen and sat facing each other at the table and started on their homework.
Fifteen minutes into their homework session, Beck slammed his pencil down on the table, walked over to Jade, and kissed her roughly.
"What was that?" Jade asked as he finally pulled away.
"Don't you like when I kiss you?" Beck replied, looking thoroughly shocked.
"Well yes, but—
Beck cut her off with another kiss.
Jade pushed him away. "But you can't just do that! I was busy! I was doing something!"
"Am I that worthless to you?" Beck shouted and stood up so he towered over Jade's seated figure. "Is that what this is? Is your fucking homework more important than I am?"
Jade stood up on the other side of the chair so she only had to look up an inch to meet his eyes. "I just want to get my homework done, Beck! Is that too much to ask?"
Beck was fuming. The vein on the side of his neck bulged out and his warm brown eyes went cold.
"I'm going home," Jade stated and began packing her papers back into her bag. She finished and slung it over her shoulder, heading for the door.
Beck grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "You're not going anywhere," he declared. "You're going to stay here with me and do what I say."
"No, Beck. I'm leaving."
Jade attempted to pull away, but Beck held his grip and pushed her to the ground. She landed on the floor with a thud, hitting her cheek on the back of the chair on the way down.
"You're staying right here. You know why? Because you're my girlfriend and I took your virginity. You wouldn't want me to ruin your name around school would you? I can do that. You know I can."
Jade didn't move. How could she? She was trapped. Beck was right: because they had sex, he owned at least a part of her. And either way, she loved him. She just missed the cute and happy Beck—the Beck Oliver who had asked her out a year ago.
"Are you going to stay?" Beck eventually asked, standing above his girlfriend.
Jade nodded. She didn't really have much of a choice.
Beck wasn't generally a very physical boy, but as time went on, his emotional yo-yo effect got worse. One day, he would be as sweet as her little black bunny rabbit—and Jade loved bunny rabbits—and the next something would snap and he would turn into the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Now, Jade loved that bunny, too, but she didn't want to date it. One day, the couple would go for a happy walk in the park followed by a slap to the cheek the next day.
On one Saturday, though, Beck must have snapped because all of a sudden Jade found herself on the floor with a fat lip and blood in her mouth. She didn't even fight back. Over the past year and a half, she learned that it was safer for her to just put up with Beck's fury rather than object. It was safer to just lay low and take the kicks and punches, then go to the bathroom and cover them up.
Since Beck's anger had become more extreme, Jade had begun wearing increasing amounts of makeup. After the first fall when Jade had tried to leave early, she took concealer to her bruised cheek in order to cover it up, but didn't like how it looked at all.
The following day, Tori caught her in the bathroom fixing her makeup.
"Oh my God, Jade, what happened to your face?" the Vega girl asked when she caught sight of a bruise on Jade's fair cheek.
Jade knew Tori didn't mean any harm, but she didn't want anyone knowing about the mess she was in. "I fell," she admitted. It was the truth, wasn't it?
"Ouch," Tori touched her own cheekbone. "That stinks." Without another word, the girl left the room. Luckily, she was a quick learner and already knew not to hold lengthy conversations with the blue-eyed girl.
Not long after another lashing out episode from Beck, Jade spent a night at Cat's house. The redhead didn't hesitate to make an overly huge bowl of popcorn and flop down on the floor with The Game of Life in hand.
"Wanna play Life?" Cat giggled. "We can make up families and stuff just like we used to in middle school!"
Jade smiled slightly, ignoring the throbbing it caused in her cheek from the swelling. "Sure."
"Yay, Jadey! Let's play!"
"Don't call me Jadey," Jade protested softly. If Cat wanted to call her Jadey, Cat could call her Jadey.
The little redhead didn't hear any of what her friend had mumbled and continued happily assembling the game. Jade shrugged and helped. Within a few more minutes, Cat had already landed on the "get married" space.
"We should make little family trees, Jade! We should write down who we're going to marry and then the names of our kids and"—
"Okay, Cat, if that makes you happy," Jade laughed. Wow, a laugh? I haven't done that in a long time.
Bringing Jade out of her daze, her phone rang. Beck.
8:10 Hey I miss u. Hope ur having fun
Jade replied quickly: Of course, playing Life with Cat.
Beck didn't reply, so Jade set her phone down and returned to the game.
"You know," Cat commented, "it's rude of him to text you when you're busy."
"He just wants to make sure I'm okay," Jade rationalized. "It's not like he'd drive over here and show up or anything."
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The doorbell rang downstairs and Cat leapt to her feet. "Did Mommy order a pizza?" The girl practically flew to the door with Jade following behind.
Beck stood there with his phone still in hand. "Hey, girls, just thought I'd pop by and say hi to Jadey here."
"Don't call me Jadey," she protested.
"I'll call you what I want," Beck laughed. "I could call you Wilma if I wanted to, and I'd bet you wouldn't do anything about it." He sent a playful glance toward Jade, but she saw through the carefree aura to the command behind them. A few moments passed in silence before Beck spoke again. "Well, I just came to say hello. I'm gonna head out now."
He approached Jade and kissed her in a way that was almost painfully rough but looked innocuous to anyone else. After the kiss broke, he bent down and placed his lips near Jade's ear. "You're lucky you told the truth," he hissed.
"I've never lied to you," she whispered back.
After the door shut behind Beck, Cat looked at her visitor. "Well, that was weird."
"Actually," Jade shrugged, "that's pretty common behavior. There's a reason I'm always with him. It avoids this."
Cat ran her hand through her hair. "Let's go make a snack. I'm hungry."
Jade wasn't sure whether to feel relieved that Cat wasn't going to reply or worried that she would always feel trapped.
After the girls had eaten and watched a movie, they returned to Cat's room to change into pajamas. Since they had been friends since elementary school, they didn't even bother to turn away as they got changed.
Comforted by the familiarity of Cat's friendship, Jade forgot about the nasty bruises that Beck had left over the past week and lifted up her shirt.
"Jade!" A shriek erupted layered with horror and sorrow erupted from Cat. "Wh-what happened?"
"Dodgeball," Jade lied.
"Don't lie to me," Cat began to cry. "Don't lie to me, Jadey."
To keep her own tears in, the brunette bit her slightly swollen lip (which she had blamed on basketball). "Beck," she explained.
Cat ran over and wrapped her arms around her fair-skinned best friend. The slightest touch to Jade's numerous bruises made her wince. "You're so fragile, Jade," the redhead whispered, "like porcelain."
Jade hadn't realized that she had begun crying until this point. "That's me, the porcelain girl. But you can't tell anybody."
"Not even Tori?" Cat pulled away. "Her dad's a cop. He can help."
"Definitely not Tori," Jade deadpanned. "Not Trina either. If Trina finds out, it'll be all over the internet in no time flat."
"Okay," Cat nodded. "But you need to talk to someone."
Unsure of what else she could do, Jade agreed. "Fine. But you're coming with me."
The following Monday, Jade stood in front of her bathroom mirror like every morning. She applied an even layer of foundation across her face and covered every miscolored patch of skin carefully before powdering it and doing the rest of her makeup.
She left her bathroom and walked downstairs and outside, climbing into Beck's car. "Good morning, beautiful," he complimented.
"Good morning." She almost wished he wasn't so human. She wished he would be either good or bad. She wished he would choose whether he was going to be the hero or the villain, whether he would sweep her off her feet or push her down, whether he would hold her close to kiss her softly or grip her in a choke hold until she passed out.
Right now, though, he was the hero, the good guy, the knight in shining armor. Jade was sucked into it. He smiled and laughed and sang along with the radio, just like they used to when they first started dating.
At school, Jade ran into Cat. "Cat, I can't do it," she whispered.
"You've got to," Cat squealed. "You've got to get yourself out of this mess!"
"But you don't get it! He's sweet and kind and caring and," Jade swallowed, "and the same Beck I fell in love with sixteen months ago."
"That's the problem," a voice sounded from behind Jade. The fair girl spun around to view the origin of the speech—Tori. "Jade, I knew what was wrong. I was in a relationship like this once. He beat my face in so badly that it had to be reconstructed. But the day I went for help, he was nice again, so I didn't go. That was the night he beat me because Trina squealed on me."
"Where are you going with this?" Jade asked.
Before Tori could answer, Beck approached the three girls. "What's going on here?" he asked, wrapping his arms around Jade from behind.
"We're just talking about this crazy experience Tori had at her last school," Cat smiled. She hadn't lied. "Tell him!"
Tori quickly made up a lie. "I was dating this boy who was a great actor, then he moved to New York to go into modeling."
Bad lie.
"Come with me," Beck whispered in his girlfriend's ear. She obeyed and together they walked over to the janitor's closet, which they entered. "So you were talking about other boys, huh?" he shouted, slapping her across the face so hard she hit the wall.
"Beck, stop," Jade protested for the first time in months.
"Why?" he growled, grabbing her hair and pulling. "You brought this on yourself. You make me angry. You cause these problems. I wasn't like this before we started dating."
"Maybe we shouldn't be dating then," Jade whispered softly. She hoped Beck didn't hear.
Of course, her luck wasn't the best and Beck bent down, grabbing her harshly by the wrists and yanking her back to her feet. "You want to leave me?" he accused. "You want to leave me for that model boy in New York? Fine! But don't be surprised if a rabbit pot pie is sitting on your front stoop in the morning wrapped in a fine fur jacket."
With that, he stormed out of the closet, leaving Jade alone. There, she cried. There, she sat on the floor and cried until Cat entered two minutes later.
"Jadey, we're going to be late for class. I can take you down to the nurse if you want."
"I want to go to Lane," Jade sniveled. "And I want you and Tori to come with me."
In Lane's, the three girls talked to Lane about Jade's options. His first suggestion was to have Beck arrested.
"No!" Jade quickly objected. "Don't lock him up. He's not evil. He didn't kill me."
Lane sat forward onto his knees and met Jade eye to eye. "Jade," he explained, "both you and Cat said he hits you. He yells at you. He orders you around like a slave. You admitted that he raped you."
Tori and Cat both shuddered. "Please don't call it that," Jade whimpered.
"Jade," Lane raised his eyebrows, "you've been abused. But you're not alone. You've got friends like Tori and Cat. On Monday afternoons, right after school, we hold a group for victims of abuse. I would like you to come next week."
"I can't," Jade replied quickly. "I go to Beck's after school every day. He'll get mad if I stay after."
"As for Beck," Lane continued, "I'm going to bring him down for some one-on-one counseling. We'll get you a restraining order for the next two months minimum, then see where things go from there. He'll probably go to anger management and some other emotional counseling."
Jade rubbed her eyes. "Fine. May we stay here for a while? I need some time to think."
"Take all the time you like." Lane rose and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Jade broke down even though she hated crying. "I don't know what to do, guys. I can't just abandon him. I'm not a traitor. I don't just leave."
Tori placed a hand on Jade's shoulder. "It'll be okay. I promise."
"How can you promise?" Jade leaned back against the cushioned couch, resting her head on the wall. "Beck has been the last year and a half of my life. We text constantly. When we're not texting, we're together. Sure, he can be mean, but does that mean I should just discount all of the good times I've had with him?"
Cat nodded.
"Yes," Tori concurred. "He's not healthy for you. It's better that you leave."
"But what if I can change him?" Jade fought tears.
"You can't," Tori admitted. "Maybe a counselor can, but you can't."
"And I don't want you to try," Cat added. "I want you safe."
Jade nodded. "I guess it's settled then."
The next day, Jade and Beck met in Lane's. They talked about the fact that their relationship was unhealthy and eventually Jade built up the nerve to admit that she was ending the relationship.
Beck feigned acceptance, but Jade saw the anger lacing his expression.
After the meeting was over, Jade went home for the afternoon. She put her bunny in a cage and took it over to Cat's where she stayed as well. Jade knew that staying there would be safer because not even Beck would mess with Cat's crazy brother.
For the next several weeks, Jade attended the meetings prescribed by Lane. To her surprise, many of her classmates were there with relationship abuse. She never said much at the meetings, but it was nice to know that she wasn't alone.
Two days after Jade met with Lane, she appealed for a PFA from the court. She testified to the abuse that she went through and the judge signed the order.
Beck's expression looked horribly hurt, but Jade knew things could only get better from there.
Jade didn't see Beck anywhere after the PFA was put into effect. She missed him. Well, she missed the happy him at least. Cat helped though. They stayed together at all times and made up for the year and a half where Jade was denied teenage fun. They went dress shopping and visited amusement parks and ate out at restaurants.
Jade West was a porcelain girl with delicate features and a fragile heart. She went through a Hell that no teenage girl should, but came out stronger and wiser than she had ever been before. And even though Beck caused her trouble, she still wished him the best in life.