An immediate follow up to the ending of Season 3 Episode 9, so beware of potential spoilers if you haven't seen the episode.
Bo stepped out of the Dal, the giddy feeling from completing her Dawning slowly evaporating the further she walked down the street. The walk was meant to clear her head, to help her work through what she had experienced in that temple; to process what hidden thoughts her subconscious had kept tucked away.
But it was becoming startling clear that the further she walked, the less excited she became and the more confused she felt.
If anyone could admit their ignorance to dream interpretations, it was Bo. She wasn't always very good at reading between the lines and usually when faced with a problem she acted first then thought later. It was a habit she had been hard-pressed to rid herself of.
But as she walked down the deserted street, snippets of her Dawning replaying in her mind and she was left feeling not only disappointed but conflicted.
Everyone had told her the Dawning was supposed to be a momentous occasion in a Fae's life, that it was not only a matter of life and death but that it was a rite of passage. A stepping stone to showing just how much growing up a Fae had done. But looking back on everything she encountered in that temple, she wasn't left feeling as though she had accomplished something great, she didn't feel as though she had solidified her link to her Fae heritage; she felt immature and disappointed.
What had she really taken away from this ceremony? This all-important rite of passage?
The succubus closed her eyes and tried to reign in her wild and racing thoughts, trying to use the noises of the night to distract her. Though it was proving to be exceptionally pointless at this point because no matter how hard she tried; how desperate she was to clear her mind, Lauren's face kept flashing in her mind and she was not sporting a pleasant look.
With a sigh, Bo continued to meander down the street, her eyes focused solely on the moon that hung in the sky. That, unfortunately, brought her thoughts back to her ceremony and Dyson.
If there was ever a can of worms she dreaded opening, the one labeled 'Dyson' was certainly one of them. He had been Bo's first love interest, her first real relationship; her first real and true love. He fulfilled a lot of firsts for her and for a moment, she figured that's what made him so appealing. Why no matter how invested she tried to be in other relationships, how hard she worked at them, she would always inexplicably be drawn to the wolf.
How he was chivalrous, caring, supportive and proved on more than one occasion that he would always have her back. But now that Bo looked at it, really examined things, she felt uneasy.
It might have been the Dawning itself, or maybe it was just that the pieces were finally clicking into place, but for the first time in a long time she felt like the fog in her brain, and her heart, was suddenly clearing.
The messages in that temple were jumbled and Bo knew she wouldn't be able to decipher them herself but the role-changing of her two love interests did not go unnoticed by her. Now that she was aware of what was reality and what wasn't, she could recognize what her subconscious was hinting at.
Things with Dyson were easy, and in a way, that appealed to Bo more than anything. Life hadn't dealt her the best of cards and for the larger part of her life she had been faced with dead lovers and disgust. Her time was spent running and the idea of actually settling down just seemed to be an impossibility.
But if she were to be with Dyson, a future was a possibility. She could go to sleep next to him, be intimate with him, feed from him, and not fear that she would wake up to his cold and dead corpse. She could have the white picket fence, a dog and 2.5 children.
And as much as Bo wanted easy, as much as it appealed to her, it just wasn't something she could handle. It wasn't what she really wanted.
Bo was a fighter, a tough life had done that to her, and she was used to fighting for what she wanted, used to overcoming things and turning them in her favor. So as she reflected on her time in the temple, she was faced with a realization that had her movements halted and her heart hammering.
Her mind was spinning out of control, her feet moving of their own volition back to the Dal as she continued to process the things that were slowly sinking into her brain.
'But ask me again in a hundred years when things are different.' The memory of his lips on hers had her doubling over.
An unknown anger quickly sweeping through her as her body straightened itself and continued its march towards the bar.
Bo was never one to let others make decisions for her and lately, that's what it felt like. Like everything she was supposed to be in control of, was suddenly out of her hands.
The anger within her started to build slowly, much like the crescendo to one of Lauren's favorite songs. Her hands were clenching together so tightly that she barely registered the trickling of liquid down her fists.
Did everyone assume that she would end up with Dyson once Lauren was out of the picture? Did they all assume that the odds weren't in their favor, that Lauren was nothing more than a flavor of the month? A Fae phase that she would undoubtedly outgrow? That's what everyone had been telling her since she first showed an interest in Lauren, right? That Fae-human relationships never last, that they never work out.
But Bo was never one to just give in when things got hard. To hell with what everyone thought, she hadn't waited this long, pined this much, fought this hard, to have her one shot thrown down and stomped on.
Of course, that meant that Bo had to recognize how shitty of a job she had been doing showing Lauren just how much she valued what they had. Things had been hectic, yes, but that was no excuse for neglecting not only the feelings of her girlfriend, but her girlfriend herself.
Damn Dyson and this stupid Dawning! Bo screamed in her head, feeling as though the messages in her ceremony weren't meant for her, that she was suddenly just a secondary character in a show that was supposed to be about her.
If she really thought about it, really picked things apart, she would realize that this wasn't a dream for her, no, this was a dream for Dyson. He rushed into things, knowing he would die the chivalrous love interest, he rushed into her battle, knowing he would come out on top. And while it was endearing most of the time, this time it just left Bo pissed off.
The succubus was ignorant of a lot of things but she knew that somewhere along the way her Dawning stopped being hers and morphed itself to the wishes and wants of her companion. The one who was supposed to be helping her interjected himself into the scenario and warped the message.
Her teeth ground together as she got closer and closer to the Dal, her confusion over the events and her disappointment in her behavior only adding fuel to the ever growing fire.
The moment she stepped foot into the building, her eyes scanned the room.
"Back so soon, BoBo?" Kenzi asked and another flicker of guilt suddenly hit Bo. How could she have lost so much focus? How had she forgotten so much of herself? Not only had she been neglecting her girlfriend, the woman she had fought so much to be with, but she had left her best friend, the one person who always had her back, in the dark.
"I'll get to you later," Bo said softly but with an air of authority that had the raven haired girl, for once, at a loss for words.
The succubus walked with purpose up to Dyson, who sat at the bar talking to Trick. Before anything was said, she scanned the room and saw Lauren off to the side, almost as though she were partitioning herself from the Fae. The look of pure devastation on the doctor's face didn't go unnoticed by Bo either.
It was all like a million shards of glass cutting into her, making her heart seize with guilt and disappointment.
Her face hardened before she walked up to Dyson and tapped his shoulder.
He whirled around, a small smile on his lips as he looked at Bo, "I never got a chance to thank-" anything past that was cut off by the sound of Bo's fist slamming into Dyson's face. The anger she felt swirling within her more than happy to have a target.
"You wouldn't have needed saving if you didn't feel the need to interject yourself into my ceremony!" Bo snarled, her fists hanging tensely at her side as she ignored the gasps and protests that sounded behind her.
Dyson's hand rubbed at his chin, his smile, however small, completely gone as he stared at Bo in shock. "Bo, I only wanted to help. I meant what I told you in there. You would have done the same for me."
Bo's eyes narrowed as the sound of her fist making contact with his face once again echoed into the silent room. "That's not why you did it." She sneered, her body locking up as she resisted the urge to hit him again, "You wanted to be the knight in shining armor that swooped in and gallantly saved me. But I'm not the damsel in distress anymore Dyson! I don't need someone to come in and save me! I don't need you making assumptions about me or my relationship. And I certainly didn't need you twisting my ceremony to fit your idea of what we could have together."
Her head shook angrily, the puzzle pieces finally falling into place and revealing the picture she had been struggling to figure out since she walked outside. "God damn it! You had your chance, Dyson! You gave up your love and I get it, it was for me and I can never really thank you for that but our time has passed. I don't need you proclaiming your love, I don't need you to wait a hundred years, I don't need you to do anything!"
Her hand ran through her hair in frustration, "I know you wanted to help and I don't doubt that you were sincerely trying to help but you didn't. You took something that was supposed to be mine and warped it so it was yours. You walked into this thing knowing you wouldn't come out alive and now, I'll never know what could have really happened. What I was supposed to really come out of this thing with."
It felt like Bo's body was on fire, every cell in her body was vibrating with frustration as she looked at the completely clueless look on Dyson's face. A hand softly grabbed her shoulder and she whirled around to see Kenzi staring at her with wide eyes. "Bo, maybe we should head home."
"No, I'm not done here." Bo said firmly, her eyes turning back to Dyson, "I get that you still love me and that you're willing to wait but I don't appreciate you acting as though a hundred years from now I'll still be pining away for you. Do you all think that us being together is a sure thing? That no matter what we'll always be together?" When no protests were made, Bo laughed humorlessly, resisting the urge to yank her hair out in frustration. "Are you fucking kidding me? This is how much you all think of me? Have I lost myself so completely that you all have such low standards for me? That my love life can do no better than a hundred year pining session?"
"Bo, that's not-" Dyson tried to calm her down but Bo cut him off immediately.
"You said as much inside the temple and I'm sick of how presumptuous everyone is. I know I've screwed up a lot in the past. I've been indecisive and reckless with not only my emotions but others as well but I'm not going to be that person anymore. If that ceremony taught me one thing, it's that somewhere along the way I forgot who I was." Bo shook her head with disappointment before her gaze hardened and a look of pure determination took over her features. "But not anymore. I'm done being selfish, I'm done acting like my decisions don't have repercussions."
"This" her hand waved between herself and Dyson, "will never happen. You're the easy way out, I see that now. You make it so I don't have to make the hard decisions because I know that you'll make them for me but I don't want that. I don't want someone who makes decisions for me and who I'm with out of convenience. I don't want to end up with the Fae guy because being with him means I fit in somewhere; because he makes it easy. I want tough because it's always worth it in the end. I want to be with someone who reminds me of what I am but loves me despite all of the baggage that comes with it. I want the human that everyone seems so sure won't last."
Bo slowly backed away from Dyson and walked towards Lauren, forcing herself not to drop to her knees and beg for another chance. "I want you," she said softly, her hand pushing a stray lock of hair behind Lauren's ear. "I want you because we're complete opposites and yet we somehow work. I want you because no matter how badly things get, no matter how hopeless they seem, you're always there for me and always in my corner."
The brunette reached out and grabbed the doctor's hand, marveling at how well their hands fit together. "I haven't been the girlfriend I want to be. I've been so wrapped up in myself that I've failed to notice how far we've drifted apart. I feel like, somewhere along the way, I stopped trying as hard and it kills me to think that I've done that." Bo's frown deepened, her brown eyes gazing into Lauren's sadly, "I feel like a complete ass. I said I wanted to give us a shot but so far, I haven't really done that."
Bo's head dropped, unable to look Lauren in the eyes any longer. "I've wanted this for so long that I think I gave up before I really started. Whenever I needed you, you're always there and the one time you needed me, I bailed."
Laurens hand reached out and slowly lifted Bo's head, "Maybe we just aren't meant to be together. There's a reason everyone is rooting for you and Dyson, Bo."
Bo recoiled, already recognizing the defeat that laced her girlfriend words. And it suddenly made sense; the look she had seen earlier was the look of defeat. Somewhere along the way, Lauren had lost hope and thrown in the towel.
It was like a punch in the gut and had Bo metaphorically scrambling to her feet. The fear of losing the one person she loved more than anything had her heart hammering and her palms sweating. "No." The brunette said with a fierce determination. "I will not let this break us apart." Her eyes locked with Lauren's as she willed her conviction and sincerity to show through her eyes, "I have never been one to bend to the will of others and I sure as hell am not about to start now. I will spend every day proving just how much I value you Lauren. You have done more for me than anyone else and I'll be damned if I just let you get cast to the side."
Bo took a step closer as she dropped to her knees, her hand clutching onto Laurens as though it were a lifeline. "I promise you that I will change. I know the odds are against us, I know that things are going to be tough but I swear, if you give me a chance, I will prove just how little those things matter."
Lauren's eyes softened, the look of defeat slowly leaving her eyes as she allowed Bo's words to wrap themselves around her. With a soft tug, she pulled Bo from the ground and opened her mouth to respond but was stopped when Bo gently placed her finger over Lauren's lips. "As clichéd as this is going to sound, you make me want to be someone better. You're smart, sexy, funny, devoted, caring, and a million more things that would take forever to list, and because of all that, you make me want to be someone better. It's because of you that I can control my hunger, because of you I know more about the Fae than I did when I first got here, because of you I've accepted who I am and the past that comes with it." Bo closed the distance between them, her lips hovering just above Laurens, "I love you so much that it hurts. And if I have to, I'll gladly spend every day not only telling you, but showing you just how much. I haven't been the person you deserve but if you give me another chance, I'll prove it you. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day, for as long as you'll have me."
Lauren stood there, a sense of euphoria washing over her as she listened to the proclamation Bo was making. It had always been hard to deny the brunette anything but when she was baring her soul and admitting her faults and inadequacies, it made it ten times harder. And at this point, Lauren was too far down the rabbit hole to give up on Bo.
The fact of the matter was the blonde was in love with Bo and as close as she was to conceding defeat to Dyson, she couldn't. Not when Bo was looking at her like she was the only thing in the world, when she showed that just maybe, she loved the doctor as much as the doctor loved her.
It was a simple decision, really. It was one of the few things that Lauren didn't need to think about. Because as difficult as their relationship was going to be, with Bo by her side, it didn't seem that hard; it seemed natural.
The blonde leaned forward and connected their lips, both women feeling the familiar spark that shot through their bodies.
When they pulled apart, Bo leaned her forehead against Laurens, "You're the only one who makes me want the white picket fence with a dog and 2.5 kids." The brunette whispered it softly and so quietly that Lauren wasn't sure she had really heard it.
Lauren smiled as she leaned back to look at Bo, her hand automatically reaching up to cup the brunettes face, "You make me want that too."
Bo chuckled lightly before grabbing Lauren's hand and pulling her towards the exit.
Lauren followed without much resistance, her eyebrows rising in question, "Where are we going?"
The succubus smiled widely as she waved goodbye to Kenzi and Trick before stopping and turning towards Lauren, "I have a lot of dates to make up for so to start things off, I'm taking you back to your place and making you dinner."
Lauren stammered, pleasantly surprised by this side of Bo, "You don't need to do that, Bo."
Bo laughed as she resumed leading Lauren out the door and into the fresh air outside, "I know I don't but with everything that's been happening we haven't had much time for just us. And I've been dying to hear about that award winning research on free radicals."
Lauren abruptly stopped which caused Bo to jerk to a stop as well. "You want to hear about my research? And you actually remember what it was about?"
Bo was torn between laughing at the shock on Lauren's face or feeling complete devastation that the simple act of remembering her girlfriend's award winning paper elicited that much shock and awe. She decided to laugh because the other option left her stomach turning.
"Of course I want to hear about it. I may not understand half of it but I like hearing you geek out, and besides, this is important to you which means it's important to me too."
Lauren launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around Bo's neck as she pressed their lips together in yet another kiss. The familiar warmth wrapping itself around the blonde as she savored not only their kiss but their embrace. "How about we skip dinner and do breakfast instead. Suddenly, I'm hungry for something besides food," Lauren whispered huskily in Bo's ear.
The succubus shook her head in amusement, "Like I could ever say no to you, babe."
Lauren just smiled widely before dragging Bo to the car and towards her apartment.