Haymitch hadn't heard from her for a month when she called.
A month of pretending he wasn't worried about where she was or what she was doing. She was in the Capitol somewhere which was where she belonged. More importantly it was where she wanted to be. The idea of her being in District 12 for anything more than half a day was laughable to both of them.
And yet he still wished she was there.
His phone rang so loudly that it made him leap out of his chair. Katniss and Peeta were the only ones who ever needed to speak to him and they lived close enough to shout out the window if they needed him – not that they ever did that. Peeta came round and knocked politely on the door and Katniss had taken to letting herself in after a week or so because she was tired of him pretending not to be home because he couldn't be bothered to talk to them.
Tentatively he answered the phone with an unusually quiet greeting. He heard a muffled giggle on the other end.
"Katniss?" He knew from the overly prim Capitol accent that it was Effie and for a moment he was genuinely pleased to hear from her until it clicked that her calling had clearly been an accident.
"No this is Haymitch." he sighed into the phone.
"Haymitch!" she exclaimed excitedly, and only then did he realised that the Queen of Manners was completely wasted on the other end of the line. He covered his mouth to keep from laughing. How the tables had turned. "I wanted to speak to Katniss. Your numbers are too similar. You should change yours. Is that something you can do? I needed to ask her a question, but I'll talk to you instead." He sighed deliberately loudly, feeling like he had to at least pretend he didn't want to hear from her. She ignored him. "I'm at this wonderful party tonight and I'm having such a lovely time! You'd hate it, there are lots of people and everyone is so nice. I can't remember what I needed to ask Katniss. Do you remember?"
"Eff, are you drunk?" Haymitch already knew the answer. He just knew that her confronting the accusation would amuse him.
"Of course not!" Effie shrieked, so loudly that he winced away from the phone. "That doesn't sound like something I would do, that sounds much more like you. Unless you're miraculously still sober." He wasn't offended by the assumption that he was drinking again. The more she spoke the most he felt the knot that had been building in his stomach for the last month unravelling. She was okay, more than okay if this call was anything to go by.
"Not sober, but drinking less than I used to." He had wanted to lie and tell her he was still sober, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She'd likely be excited anyway.
"Oh Haymitch! That's so, so good! Really, so good. Maybe you'll try being sober properly again soon, you were much nicer then." They were both quiet. He couldn't disagree with her. "But you would hate this party so much. You'd be so bored. Even I'm bored." He assumed that was the reason she was so drunk now.
"I'm sure I would be." he agreed with her. She was quiet on the other end and for a moment he thought she had hung up and the knot in his stomach reformed. Then he heard her pouring liquid and realised she was ignoring him in favour of getting another drink.
"So how are you?" Effie was making a conscious effort to sound sober now. They had attended many events together over the years – Effie went by choice while he as a past victor of The Games had been obligated. He had never once seen her drink anything other than water. Maybe a flute of champagne once or twice. He had certainly never seen her drunk and he felt a pang of regret that he'd never seen this side of her in person.
"Definitely less drunk that you are now." he responded without being able to stop himself. Effie huffed on the other end of the line and he could just picture her standing in some ridiculous dress smoothing her hands over it like she always did when she was offended by a comment. "No, I'm great. I have some geese now. And a goat." Effie immediately laughed hysterically at that.
"There was nothing better for you to do in 12 than farming?" Effie asked him between bouts of laughter. He almost smiled. If he was amusing her then she would keep speaking to him.
"It's not farming."
"It sounds a lot like farming."
"Okay, it's a bit like farming." That set her off again. "I like my geese!" he protested.
"You should just get some cows and pigs and plant some crops and accept that you are now a farmer." That sounded like quite a bit more effort than he was currently making."Better than just being an alcoholic." Effie didn't disagree with that. "How are you?"
"Well I'm not a farmer." Haymitch groaned in irritation and she laughed pleasantly. "I've actually been very busy, I decided I wanted to be a stylist after that horrible thing I was made to wear in 13. They're talking about giving me my own program where I go around the districts and help people dress nicely. It's so much fun!"
"That doesn't sound very important." Haymitch said honestly.
"Neither does raising geese." Effie bit back, though he could tell she was amused. Her voice was quieter when she spoke again. "We do what we can to distract ourselves. And I was hardly going to be good at something important."
"You might have been."
"They wanted me to help prepare the last Hunger Games." Haymitch heard her taking another very long drink and in that moment he felt guilty for agreeing to the proposal. "I understand why it needs to happen. Or I think I do at least. But I can't be a part of that – not again." Effie sounded so quiet – all he wanted was to be there and put an arm around her. "Are you coming here for them?" She sounded almost hopeful about it.
"Maybe." That was a lie. He had already said to everyone that he wouldn't mentor again.
"I wish you would." It was the closest to an admission of affection that Effie had ever given him. He wondered then if he could reverse his decision, say he was going after all. Then again, if he did they might try to make him get sober again.
"You could come and visit me." He couldn't stop himself from suggesting it. She might have been waiting for an invitation.
"I'll see about it once the trains are running again." He knew that meant she wasn't coming. She'd arrange an exact date if she was, that was just the kind of person she was. He wanted to ask her why she wouldn't come, but he was afraid that she would say it was something to do with him, and he couldn't deal with the guilt this late at night.
He heard someone on the other end of the phone shouting for Effie and he knew this time that the panic he felt was warranted, she was going to say goodbye and get back to her party and never call again. He drained the glass that had sat beside him untouched for the duration of their conversation and with a shaking hand poured another drink out, ready to down it the second their call ended.
"Oh that's Caelia. She's the one who wants to give me a show. I should probably go." He thought he detected some reluctance towards that in her voice, but he might have just been imagining it, searching for something that indicated she missed him as much as he missed her.
"Yeah, go. Have a good night, Eff."
"You too." They both knew he wouldn't. He was alone and drinking and the one good thing that had happened to him in the last month was about to end. He expected her to cut off the call but she hesitated for a moment. "I do miss you, you know." He was just going to tell her he knew but he couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth.
"I miss you too. So much." Effie sighed sounding incredibly relieved to hear that. "At least we had a nice final goodbye, right?" he teased her. He could sense her rolling her eyes.
"Final goodbye. How ridiculous. Of course I'm going to see you again…" Effie trailed off and for a minute he thought she might be about to say something sweet that he would have to berate. He misjudged her. "I'll be at your funeral in a year or so after your geese eat you." Haymitch laughed loudly.
"Okay, you're definitely drunk because we both know you don't know how to make jokes." He could tell she was getting poised to respond and disagree but she didn't in favour of making a pleased little 'oh' sound.
"I just remembered what I needed to ask Katniss!"
"Bye Effie."
"Bye Haymitch."
He let her hang up the phone because he couldn't bear to do it until he was completely sure the line was silent. The second he put the phone back he picked up his drink and poured it all down his throat in one go. Deciding to go to bed he looked out of his window and saw Katniss standing by her phone in her house across the street. She looked an interesting mixture of exasperated and amused and Haymitch smiled to himself before he flicked the lights off in the room and headed upstairs.