Author's Note: This takes place when Haley got on the bus to go on tour with Chris and the Wreckers. I think the kiss was under-discussed and under-noticed. I think that that should've been what Nathan was mad at much more than her leaving--ignore me if I'm talking out of my a-hole and that was what he was pissed about...I just don't remember hearing much about it in season 3. And as you'll notice, I don't really think Haley could've come up with a good explanation for why she did it. Even I couldn't come up with one for her. I also think that before Haley left, she should've asked him to come or told him to visit or called more often or gave him VIP passes or something! Don't get me wrong, he had no right to give her an ultimatum, but my like for Haley went down a notch when she left because to me, she did it so carelessly. I woulda been ringing my hubby off tha hook. I just thought she was being a little un-Haley-ish.
Anyway, here it is. I know, it's just a one parter, but I'm scared to write any new multichapter fics because the new season 5 is starting soon and I have a feeling I won't be liking the new Naley relationship and that will totally kill my spirit to write Naley fics. Have you seen scruffy Nathan?! I've just got this really bad feeling that Nathan and Haley are gonna be cheating--which probably means I have no real faith in the Naley-ship...but does anyone else feel that way? I hope to god that neither of them does, but I feel like there's gonna be some unwanted Laley or Brathan or Neyton in season five...or some other ship...but I'm scared and I'm paranoid. LoL I really would appreciate if they didn't bust a Dawson's Creek on us and start pairing everyone up with everyone, but I just got that bad gut feeling...especially by reading some of the spoilers. I was sooo spoiler digging the other day, trying to see what would happen in like the Feburary episodes...saw something that REALLY scared the crap out of me!
Okay, I'll shut up now before I talk you all to death and sorry I'm so paranoid. LoL.
Enjoy!
Change of Heart
Nathan sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he drank a cold beer. He could see his life going downhill already. It was just so hard to believe that she left. He hadn't told anyone yet. He was going to let them all figure it out for themselves. That his wife left him to go on tour...with Chris Keller after kissing him some recent time in the past. In a way, he was proud that she was doing something like this for herself. Breaking out of her shell, but why not ask him to go?
He would've packed everything and left, to hell with school, basketball, the apartment and his parents. Majority of the reason he even went to school was because it was where he met his beautiful wife and it was how they first began to connect. She'd tutored the hell out of him and now they were married. It was ironic really. He never thought Haley could kiss someone as much as she proclaimed to love him. Wasn't he the one that everyone had been expecting this of? He never had even the slightest urge to decieve her trust or hurt her like she'd hurt him. Hell, he'd expected himself to screw it up like this before she did. And the most excruciating part of it all was--instead of staying here and trying to work it out--because he knew he would've--she'd rather go on tour.
With Chris Keller. The very dude she'd kissed!
The phone rang and he just let it. It wasn't like it was anyone important, he thought to himself. After a few more unattended rings, he heard the painfully familiar voice on the machine telling the caller to leave a name and number before the beep. Then, he could hear the sound of pouring rain and possibly thunder. No one was talking yet, so he raised up to glance at the window and it only seemed to be sprinkling.
He looked back to the phone in a mixture of shock, joy and disbelief--he knew exactly who it was.
She sighed. "Nathan, it's me. Um, I..." Her voice shook and she stopped. "I couldn't do it." She blurted. "I only left because I was scared to stay with you knowing that I...I kissed him. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know if you'll even forgive me or if I'll even forgive myself." Anyone who was listening could tell she was beginning to cry. "God, you're probably not even there. I...I got off the bus. Nathan, are you home?" She asked hopefully.
As if that slapped him out of his daze, he scrambled to the phone and picked it up. "Hales?"
"Nathan," she said in pure relief. "You're there."
"Yeah," he answered a little bitterly, "where are you?"
"Far." She answered with a humorless laugh. "I need a favor."
"What?" He was talking evenly, though he wanted to shout for glee that she didn't go.
"Do you think you can send me like, twenty more dollars? I need to catch a bus back and I didn't have enough." She felt stupid, leaving with only thirty bucks, but she didn't want to take any of Nathan's money really. She'd already hurt him enough.
He frowned, like that wasn't what she should've asked. "Where are you, Hales?"
"Uh...in Raleigh."
"Raleigh?" He shook his head softly and peeked at his watch. "Is there a hotel or something around until I get there?" He could tell she was out in the rain.
"Nathan, no. You can't drive here. There's a storm or something." She declined, fearing for his safety. "It's really hard to see and--"
"It's fine. I'll drive there and then we'll stay there and head out in the morning." He could hear himself talking like nothing as bad as her leaving had happened and mentally scolded himself. "I'll be there in about an hour and a half."
"There's a place called..." She squinted her eyes to see. "The Homewood Suites. It's the closest I can get to in this rain."
"Alright, hurry up and get inside and I'll see you there." He demanded gently.
"Nathan, thanks." She said quietly.
"Welcome." He mumbled before hanging up.
xxnaleynaleynaleyxx
Her hair had wet waves in it and her clothes and plaid jacket were still soaked when they walked awkwardly into the hotel room. They hadn't said one word to each other yet, not even a simple hello. When he got there, they made lengthy eye contact before he rented a room. Then, he held the keys up to her and walked over to grab her bags and she followed him to the room--where they were now. She smiled nervously as he closed the door and she began to try unbuttoning her jacket.
He took a quick, observant glance around the room, noticing the small lamp on the wall that barely offered them any light at all. It gave the room a warm, candle looking warmth--which wasn't working for her, he could tell by her shivering. "Are you cold?" He finally spoke, he could see her teeth chattering and her fingers shaking as she struggled to unbutton her coat.
"Not really." She mumbled, looking down at the stubborn line of buttons. She was cold, to the bone--but most of it had nothing to do with her soaking clothes.
When she continued to fail with completing the task, he finally dropped her bags and walked up in front of her, brushing her icy hands out of the way. At the contact, their eyes met and she stilled--even her trembling. He unbuttoned the jacket slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. He wanted to find something angry and bitter to say--something that could possibly hurt her as much as she hurt him, but he failed dramatically. "I missed you." He whispered.
Haley's mouth parted and she brought a cold hand to his cheek. "Nathan..." She started, but were there really words to express how sorry she was? There weren't any. She let a soft breath escape her mouth. "I'm so sorry." She whispered brokenly.
He was down to the last button and opened the jacket, his blue eyes still watching her. "You don't have to explain, Haley. Not right now." It was more of a request for her not to explain right now. He didn't want to think about it or hear about it. Not when she was there and she wasn't gone--not when she was looking so beautiful and all he wanted to do was kiss their pain and agony away.
"I need to." She choked out as her eyes watered. "I'm so sorry for kissing him, Nathan. My feelings were so mixed up." She started to ramble, her thumb brushing along the smooth of his face. "I confused my passion for music with Chris. I messed everything up between you and I, Nathan. I never wanted him."
The thought of her kissing him flashed through his mind and he dropped his hands from her clothes, pulling his face away from her touch like he was burned. "You didn't want him, you just wanted to kiss him?" He asked sarcastically flat.
"I--"
"And then you lied to me about it." He remembered aloud, walking towards the door.
She cupped her mouth with a hand and watched him with blurry eyes. "I was afraid of losing you."
"Then you shouldn't have kissed him!" He snapped, turning his head to glare at her. "I trusted you!"
Haley nodded faintly and looked down at her wet boots. "And you have every right not to." She muttered in a breath. "But Nathan, I just think that you should."
"Why?" He bit the word out harshly.
"Because." She looked up at him teary-eyed. "I love you and I can promise that nothing like this will ever happen again." Her fingers interlocked with each other and she raised them apprehensively. "I'll do anything if you just...just try to forgive me."
He could see the fear in her eyes--the fear of him turning her away, of him telling her that there was nothing she could do to redeem herself. He looked away from her eyes, not sure he could even take the pain and fright he saw radiating off of her. He briefly cleared his throat. "I don't want you to do anything." He grumbled, raking his eyes over her cold form.
A sob tore from her throat. "Nathan, I--"
"You should get out of those clothes before you get pneumonia." He told her caringly, waving a hand towards her before slowly walking back to stand in front of her. He tugged at her shirt until she lifted her arms and then he pulled it over her head.
"Are you sure we can't work this out?" She choked, standing before him in a bra and her jeans. She wiped tears from her cold cheeks slowly. "Nathan, I love you..."
He swiped her hair behind her ear, his thumb brushed along her skin. "I love you, too, Hales. No matter what happens." He swallowed back any doubt he had about them before his lips claimed hers in a stormy need. His moan soared from his throat as his other hand came up to grab her face.
Haley hadn't expected it but welcomed it with pleased ease. Her arms snaked around his neck and she moaned as his hand fell from her face and circled her waist, pulling her closer to him in desperate wanting. He needed to grab her and hold her for dear life, to prove that she really didn't go and that he was really here holding her, kissing her. Breathing her in.
They pulled away, their eyes meeting in the dim lighting of the room. The thunder and lightening roared, flashing the room with a blue electric heat--the same kind that flowed through their veins at that very moment. Haley swallowed hesitantly, unsure of what would happen if she moved too much. Did all of this mean that he was willing to try and work past the mistake she made?
As if he read her eyes, he sighed softly. "I don't want to lose you, Hales." He commented softly, his hand sliding down to the bottom of her clothe-less back.
"I don't want to lose you either, Nathan." She told him seriously, sighing in the utmost relief.
"Always." He smiled crookedly. "And forever, right?"
"Right." A grin crept up on her lips before she took his mouth with hers, falling back on the bed with him on top of her.
xxnaleynaleynaleyxx
He felt her shift beside him and decided not to open his eyes in case he was dreaming. And if he was, he didn't want to wake up. Inhaling deeply, he could smell the sweet floral scent of her and the slight smell of dried rain. He really hoped he wasn't dreaming or he might just break down in tears. He could feel his arm around her, her body moving slightly from her breathing...but was this real or just some cruel invention of his imagination?
"Nathan?" She said groggily, moving over on her side to face him.
With a small smile, he slowly opened his eyes and stared into the beautiful brown ones that she was peering at him with. His heart soared. Feeling pleased that this was reality, he brought a hand up and moved a piece of her wavy hair out of her face. "Hey." He whispered. She was laying naked beside him, only the sheet covering her silken body. He leaned in and kissed her softly before trailing down to her neck.
"Hey." She giggled throatily, lulling her head back to give him better access. She ran a hand through his hair and smiled as his lips trailed to her collarbone. "Nathan, we have to talk." She spoke distractedly--hopefully she could remember what they had to talk about, because at this rate, her mind was only drifting to one very x-rated thing.
"Right now?" He whined, his words muffled by her soft skin. His blue eyes looked up to meet hers and she nodded.
"Yes, sorry." She patted his cheek with her hand as he raised up, fully rolling on top of her.
"About what?" He questioned, gazing down into her eyes. He would never let her go.
"About...last night." She said hesitantly. "I know you don't want to, but we have to."
"Why?" He asked, a little angry to think about the previous circumstances.
"That's why." She whispered, moving her head to keep contact with his eyes when he looked away. "I don't want you to get angry every time you think about it. I don't want you to think about it."
"You're my wife, Hales. I can't help it that it angers me to think about you kissing another guy." He grumbled, climbing off of her to stand beside the bed. He found his boxers and pulled them on hurriedly. This was the last thing he wanted to discuss.
"So what? You're going to get mad at me every time it crosses your mind?" She scoffed, sitting up to watch as he prowled the room in search of his clothing. "Why'd you even forgive me if--"
"It'll take time!" He snapped from the end of the bed--where he found his discarded black shirt. "Damn it, Haley! I'm trying to deal with this, to forget this, but I can't. I'm sorry, I can't." Roughly, he pulled the shirt over his head, his eyes strategically avoided hers.
She nodded solemnly, as if everything was clearly understood. "But you can have sex with me, right? You can do that but you can't even look at me for ten seconds without looking disgusted, Nathan!" Her eyes watered and she looked away, her bottom lip stubbornly shook.
"You wanted to have sex, too." He defended weakly, his heart broke to see her look so hurt.
"But I can look at you!" She pleaded, turning to look at him to prove her point. "And when I look at you, I see someone who loves me and who would drive through a storm just to be with me. Someone who would go to the hospital to talk to his astranged half brother because he knew I didn't have the strength to go." She cried, not bothering to swipe the tears away. "I see the man I love with all my heart and soul. All you see is some," she shook her head as she searched for the proper phrase, "some whore with a crazy dream of becoming some pop singer."
Nathan sighed and his shoulders slumped as he walked over beside her. "Hey, hey, that's not true. That's not what I think of you." He said, crouching down beside her. Ducking his head to meet her eyes, he sighed again. "I would never think that about you, Haley. You know that." His voice was soft and caring.
"Then how come you can't look at me? How come..." She sniffled and shook her head, watching as his eyes moved down to the floor. He really couldn't look at her for more than ten seconds. She let out a jagged breath and shook her head again. "I'm only good for this now, huh?" She asked knowingly, lifting an arm out to indicate her nakedness. "I'm only good for sex."
"No, no, no." He told her softly, glancing up at her eyes. "You know that's not true." He gritted.
"Then why won't you look at me?" She asked, growing impatient.
"Because, Haley!" He shouted, standing to his feet and running his hand through his hair. "I can't help but think that, that I drove you to do this. I wasn't supportive enough, I..." He gritted his teeth and walked over to the window, crossing his arms with a deep breath. "Maybe this is my fault." He heard the blankets shuffling behind him before he felt her warm hand on his arm moments later.
"Nathan, please, look at me." She said quietly.
Reluctantly, he turned to face her. His eyes saw what he had always seen, the love that she had for him. "It's true." He mumbled.
"Nathan, none of this is your fault. You never did anything wrong." She pushed a hand through her disheveled hair. "This is all my fault and I won't let you think you're at any blame for this." Haley gave him a stern look--he finally stared at her, through her, to her soul and she felt her self shiver under his approving gaze. "Okay?"
Nathan swallowed deeply, keeping his eyes trained on his beautiful wife. The thought of losing her made his heart beat faster. "So you don't have feelings for Chris?" He asked, the vulnerability in him surfacing.
Haley shook her head reassuringly. "I have no feelings for him whatsoever. I don't love him, I'm not in love with him. I love you, Nathan." She dropped her hand and looked away, clasping the sheet tighter to her body. "I understand if you need time or if you want to seperate for a while--"
"That's the thing. I don't need time." He told her quietly. "I just...I need you." He knew, he probably sounded desperate or needy, but he was when it came to her.
Haley smiled hopefully, holding out an arm. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She enlightened him.
His eyes tightened thoughtfully as he leaned against the wall. Slowly, he was figuring out that there was more to all of this than her kissing Chris and leaving him. There was more behind it than he would've guessed. "Why didn't you ask me to go with you?"
"You mean why didn't I pull you away from basketball and school and your mom?" She spoke sarcastically. "Nathan..."
"I don't care about that, Hales." He spat, pushing away from the wall, determined to make her understand.
"Yeah, well I care about you and I care about that for you." She furrowed her brows, determined to get through to him. "If this was a summer thing or if we were under different circumstances, of course I would've asked you to go."
"That's my choice." He stuck a finger to his chest seriously.
"Then I'd be ruining your life, Nathan. Just like Dan predicted. I--"
Nathan held up his hand, stopping her words with a ruthless scowl. "Dan? You're letting Dan get into your head?"
She let out a deep breath and dropped her head. "Nathan..."
"You could never ruin my life, Haley." He told her truthfully, trying to sink that information into her head.
"You say that now. But a few months or years down the line you're going to realize that I was the reason you left basketball and I was the reason you were behind in school, because you followed little selfish Haley on her stupid little tour." She rambled, her eyes glued to the window behind him. "And I don't want that to happen to you, Nathan. I don't want you to ever regret me."
He eyed her as if he was seeing her insecurites for the first time. Shaking his head softly, he walked up to her and put his hands on her upper arms. "Haley, I couldn't regret you if I wanted to. You're the only person that would accept me no matter what and you're the only person who gets me and knows me and respects what I have to say or what I think. Do you think I changed from who I used to be all by myself?" He gave her a reassuring smirk before shaking his head at her big, vulnerable brown eyes. "You. You're my better half, the better part of me."
Haley smiled, happy tears springing to her eyes at what he'd just said. "Would you have really went with me?" She asked in mild disbelief. She didn't understand how someone could love her so much.
"No." He let out a slow laugh at her confused expression. "I am going with you."
"What are you talking about, Nathan?" She had no idea what he was saying.
"I'm saying that you're not selfish and going on this tour wouldn't be stupid. It's your dream, it's what you want."
Her eyes widened with recognition and she shook her head. "No, Nathan. No. I can't go now. I can't--"
"Why not?" He wanted to see her play, to hear her voice. To watch the fans cheer her on. He wanted to experience that with her.
"First of all, I flew off of that bus like a bat out of hell," she chuckled in stunned disbelief, "and secondly, I just, I can't. I want to go home with you." She snuggled into him as he wrapped his arms around her.
"I don't want you to miss this opprotunity, Hales. I admit, I was pissed off that you left. But, I was proud as hell of you for having the heart to do this. To pursue what you love." He confessed in a caring whisper, placing a cute kiss on the tip of her nose afterwards.
Haley searched his eyes for any falter or sign of insincerity and found none. He was truly serious. "Are you sure, Nathan?" She questioned softly
"Positive." His voice was barely a whisper. He smiled small at her as he rocked her gently from side to side in his arms.
A small smile graced her lips as she pushed up on her tippy-toes, her mouth hovered over his. "I love you, Nathan Scott." She pressed her lips to his in a thankful, loving kiss.
He pulled away, putting a hand to her face. "I love you, Haley James." He went to kiss her again but she moved back.
"Scott." She shook her head knowingly. "Haley James-Scott." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again, the sheet floated from her body and fell into a puddle on the floor at her feet.
Nathan moaned and pulled away, taking in her nakedness with much appreciation. "Hales, I don't think we have time..." He spoke between kisses.
"The hell we don't." She murmured against his mouth, pulling him back towards the bed. "The tour can wait."
He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his midsection. "I guess it can." He purred huskily, falling down onto the bed and continuing to ravage her mouth with his. Oh, how he loved Haley James.
Scott. Haley James-Scott.