A/N: Dahlia here, with a steamy new multichap brought to you by myself and my mystery cowriter, Missy X. If for any reason you wish to contact Missy, well then, you can't, 'cuz she's mystery. So deal with it. Beotch.
Prologue
It began innocently enough—three girls at a sleepover. Actually, no, it's not like that. The three girls part isn't the dirty part, we'll get to that later. So, anyway, yes. Three girls, six notecards, and one mindset: what mindset, you ask? Oh, I think you know.
What? You don't? Er…
As any teenage, hormone-ridden girls would, these girls were lusting after hot celebrities—but these celebrities were different. They weren't some pretty face in a magazine or a gun-wielding secret agent in a James Bond movie. No, these were a few boys that a certain Renge knew quite, er, personally.
No, she's not fucking them or anything. Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter. Well, only for a few minutes anyway. Once we get to the good stuff, you can throw that dirty mind of yours out back where it belongs. A-honka honka.
We set the scene: three girls, as I said before—Renge, Ryoka, and Amie—at Renge's house for an innocent sleepover. Or so her parents thought.
Shut it. They're not fucking. Really.
Anyhoo, let's listen in on their conversation.
"Oh, but Tamaki would be so gentle!" one squealed.
The fuck.
"Oh, but think of Kyoya's PASSION!" said Renge with conviction.
Yes, dear readers, it is exactly what you think. These girls had six notecards and six hosts on the brain. And yes, they were recording the pros and cons of lying with each host in a sexual situation.
"You see, ladies," Renge said, "we give these notecards to my dear friend Haruhi and trick her into signing a contract saying that she'll take part in this… investigation. Then we shall see if our assumptions are correct."
"Excellent!" said Ryoka.
"I don't know about this…" said Amie, holding up the card with Honey's name on it. "First off, it seems a bit, I don't know, illegal to con Haruhi into this, and…" she glanced at the card. "Doing this for Honey feels wrong."
"Be strong now, girls," trumpeted Renge. "In the name of science!"
Yeah, sure. Science.
The girls' plan, and a surprisingly simple one it was, would be for Haruhi to sign a contract stating that she would sleep with each host, and report her findings.
Except for Honey. That would be weird.
The hosts, of course, did not know of this plan. But what Renge did know was that they all had feelings for Haruhi and most likely would not hesitate to engage in fornication with her. Girl's intuition, you see.
Haruhi was in for the week of her life.