"You called me in, baa-chan?" Naruto peeked his head through the door, smiling in that devilish way of his. On another day, Tsunade maybe would've laughed. Not today, though. Today, she played with the glasses in her hands absentmindedly, thinking of a way she could phrase what she had to say.

"Yeah. Sit down." She finally said. Naruto did, taking a seat between Sakura and Neji, the only two people in the room. Shino and Kiba had long since gone home. Giving those two the news was near impossible. How would Naruto react?

"Naruto, you probably know that Hinata was recently sent on a mission to-" Her voice cracked. Tsunade glared at the bottle in front of her. Sake always made her emotional.

"To Tetsugakure, yeah. What of it?" He didn't hear it. Good, Tsunade thought, gripping the neck of the bottle in front of her.

"Hinata…" Tsunade sighed. "Hinata will not be returning from this mission." Tsunade chose her words carefully so as not to upset him, but she could tell by the blank look on his face that he didn't understand.

Sure enough, Naruto's brow furrowed. "You mean she's gone rogue? That's not like Hinata. Is this a joke or something?" Naruto grinned at the Hokage.

"She isn't rogue, Naruto." Tsunade paused. A heavy silence fell over the room. Sensing it, Naruto sobered up. "Then what is it?" He asked.

"She's dead. She died on this mission." Neji bluntly said, saving Tsunade the trouble. Neji, too, had been distraught, but the Hyuuga prodigy had quickly restrained himself and refused to meet anyone's gaze.

"That's not really funny, Neji." Naruto made a face at the branch member. "She wouldn't die because we have a date after the mission!" He said enthusiastically. It sounded forced, Tsunade noted. Still, the jinchuriki rambled on.

"I'm gonna propose to her, you know." Sakura made a choked sound and grabbed Naruto's hand. He smiled at her. "Sasuke was gonna be my best man… but I'd rather you are, to be honest." Sakura wiped away tears that hadn't formed yet.

"Naruto…" Sakura tried to get her teammate's attention as he spoke. "Naruto, listen."

He turned to look at her.

"She's dead. She died of wounds sustained in the Land of Iron, Naruto. She was attacked by rogue shinobi. She didn't make it." Sakura clutched Naruto's hand in her own as it dawned on him. "She was in the infirmary all night."

"She died…?" He finally said, his voice uneven. Sakura could only nod, tears burning her eyes for the second time that night. Naruto slipped his hand from Sakura's.

"I didn't think she was in as bad condition as she was… she just plummeted," Sakura admitted, voice strangled. Finally Naruto spoke.

"She fought for Konoha. It was a fitting death for a shinobi," Naruto stood.

"I have to go. Kakashi asked me to sort papers." The lie was mechanical and fooled nobody, but nobody spoke up as the jinchuriki left the Hokage's quarters.

"Be stoic, calm, and confident in the face of death. Like a true shinobi." Tsunade distractedly recited what she had been told when Dan died. "Is being a shinobi really worth that?" The question hung unanswered.

'Naruto-kun, I'm going on an S-ranked mission in a week's time...' Hinata said timidly. Even after 2 months of dating the Uzumaki, Hinata was still shy around him and prone to blushing. Like now. The heiress reddened as Naruto distractedly played with her indigo locks of hair.

'Really?' Naruto asked, his interest piqued. He hadn't even gotten an S-ranked mission yet. The village was still rebuilding after the Fourth Shinobi World War, and they didn't have any ninja to spare.

'Y-yes. I'm worried. It's the first S-rank village in the village since the war… why would the Hokage choose me?' Hinata poked her fingertips together instinctively; old habits die hard. Naruto took Hinata's hand, looking her in the eye.

'Tsunade chose you because you're an amazing kunoichi, Hina-chan. You worry too much!'

'I know, I know.' She smiled, and Naruto had to smile back. She was perfect, with her lavender eyes, her small nose and her full lips. She had an an aura about her that made being happy inevitable and infectious. Almost against his will, Naruto found himself grinning.

Naruto's smile, in turn, made her grin, and soon the two shinobi were just laughing.

Her laugh… What had been so incredibly appealing before was now… haunting. Thinking about her was painful. Hinata. His Hinata. Dead.

He felt his throat close up and tears slipped down his face as he punched the wall in front of him. He put as much force into it as he could and was satisfied to see the bricks displaced. Blinded by rage and tears, the jinchuriki kept swinging at the wall, desperate to hit something, to break something, to ruin something as his life had just been ruined, to release pent up grief.

He eventually stopped, staring at his bloodied knuckles. They would hurt immensely, he noted detachedly, if he could feel the pain. He slid to the floor, back against the damaged wall.

She was his life, and now she would be his death.

He was at home, watching the kettle boil. It had been less than day since Tsunade had called him in to tell him that Hinata died, since he'd almost broken a whole clean though the wall of the Hokage's residence, since he had to be escorted out of the building by 3 faceless ABNU. It had been less than a day since his world had fallen apart. His apartment was deathly quiet. Next to him sat a pack of Instant Ramen, collecting dust on the table.

"Naruto, you know you shouldn't eat so much ramen." She chided him, poking the packet of noodles on the counter next to her. It had to be his fourth bowl. "A shinobi should be eating healthy things, like vegetables."

"Miso pork and vegetables! duh!" He beamed at her, and she laughed at his childishness.

Suddenly, the idea of eating another bowl of ramen made him feel sick. He turned the stove off and angrily threw the pack of instant noodles at the wall. He got a glimpse of the flavor before he stormed off: Miso pork and vegetables.

For the 3rd day in a row, Naruto stayed in bed. His sheets were ruffled and messy and smelled like sweat, but he was far past the point of caring. He drifted in and out of consciousness, dreaming of her, wishing she was with him.

He woke up for the fifth time that evening to Hinata smiling next to him. His eyes widened, and fresh tears spilled over because when he got close enough to touch her she was gone.

She's dead. People die every day. I'm just remembering her. He tried to convinced himself. But it started to happen more frequently. He'd see her face, her body, her smile... he'd get up to reach for her, and she would dissappear.

Konoha was gossiping again. 'He broke down at the funeral'. 'How unbecoming'.

He was far past the point of caring. He almost missed the burial, arriving half an hour late. He did not interact with anyone present, but instead kneeled at the front of her casket.

Instinctively, he reached a hand out to touch. Fingers met with cold skin, and he sobbed ugly tears because she didn't dissappear this time. He must've knelt there for hours, and his outbursts drew the ire of the Hyuga clan. Eventually, though, someone escorted him out.

He didn't know who it was and he didn't bother to look at them until they spoke.

"Do you have the keys, Naruto-kun?" She asked, trying the front door. Naruto's head shot up, and he looked into the stranger's eyes. It was Hinata, and it was the first time she had talked to him outside of his dreams.

"Y-yeah," He fumbled, hastily pulling keys out of his back pocket.

The hiss of water boiling in a kettle was the only sound in the apartment. Sakura was there, staring at her teammate with an unreadable expression. She came over, asked to come in, and started boiling water for tea. The house was strangely clean, but dust was everywhere because nobody had been downstairs in weeks.

Hinata was sitting next to him, watching Sakura with those startling eyes.

"I don't like seeing you like this, Naruto." Sakura said. The boy sitting before her might as well have not been Naruto. He was ten pounds lighter, his hair was shaggier and he had an unhinged look in his eye. "Get a grip. Please."

"You can't just come to my house and tell me to get a grip, Sakura, after I lost the love of my life." He replied icily, glaring at the girl he'd grown up with.

"It's been 3 months already, Naruto. Trapping yourself in grief isn't healthy, and you're not getting any better." Her plea fell on deaf ears.

"You don't know what it feels like, Sakura, so don't even-"

"Yes I do. In case you haven't noticed, everybody experienced grief during the war. My father died." Sakura stood up angrily, knocking her chair over.

"That's different, Sakura. You know that." She stared at him for what seemed like forever before she shook her head angrily and wordlessly left.

There was a long pause before Hinata quietly pointed out that the stove was still on.

Hinata slid into bed beside Naruto, hair still wet from her shower. They slept in the same bed, lived in the same house... hell, they may as well have been married, but the village was more concerned with rebuilding than any ceremonies, and Naruto didn't want to push it.

"Hinata, should we... try again?" Naruto asked. They'd tried to make love once before, but Hinata couldn't go through with it so they had stopped. Now, though, she nodded hesitantly, moving closer to her lover.

"Are you sure?" Naruto said, sensing her discomfort. He put a hand on her thigh. It wasn't much, but the action heightened Hinata's senses. She nodded once more and they were soon kissing, bodies intertwined.

Naruto woke up, forehead covered in sweat.

He trapped himself in his house like a hikikomori, only leaving to get ramen. He was officially declared unfit for missions three days ago and was at risk for being demoted to chunin, something that would have bothered him if he had the energy to care. So he slept, dreaming of the girl he loved.

He kissed her with a passion he didn't know he had, lost in the moment. The two had just been promoted to jounin and had snuck away from the celebration to be alone. Hinata interrupted him once he moved to undo her flak jacket, blushing furiously.

"Naruto," He laughed at her shyness. Even though she was next in line as Hyuga heir she still had the timidness she'd had since she was a genin.

"Hm?"
"We can't- we can't do this." She sounded nervous.
"Don't worry, nobody knows we're here. They won't find us." He moved to kiss her neck, nipping at the creamy porcelain skin. She gasped as he hit a sweet spot, but continued talking.

"No, it's not that. It's-" His hand was up her shirt now, and she didn't have the willpower to push him away again. She just tried to enjoy this, putting the news at the back of her mind.

He gasped as he woke up. He'd had dreams of them before, but none of them brought questions to his mind like this one had. He sighed, turning to his late girlfriend.

"You know that other night when you said you had to tell me something?" Naruto questioned. She nodded. "What… what was it?"
She held her stomach wordlessly, and he cried again for the first time in weeks.

Six months. Six months was the time it took it took him to realize something wasn't right with him, that his sanity was slipping away.

He knew she was dead; he wasn't that crazy. But he coould see her, feel her, touch her. She was everywhere. And it didn't bother him anymore.

So he talked to her while he walked to the Hokage's office, ignoring the stares that he had gotten all too used to. Tsunade herself greeted him at the door and walked him back to her quarters.

"Naruto." The Hokage addressed him. He nodded once and turned to Hinata, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

Tsunade eyed the boy and clucked her tongue. He had let himself go, and he was slipping. He was staring at her, but he wasn't seeing her; he was muttering to himself. Although she knew the two were infatuated, she never would've guessed he would've ended up like this. She clenched and unclenched her hands, trying to put the news as lightly as she could.

"Naruto, you're not well."

If it were anyone other than Tsunade he would've rolled his eyes. It was apparent, even to him, that something wasn't right. That his mind was fragmented into a million different pieces that all said 'Hinata' on them. That her literal death was his figurative one. But he couldn't say this to baa-chan. He settled with "yeah".

She sighed, the news caught in her throat. "I mean… you're dying."

That news should've sent him staggering, but it was more of a muted thud if anything. He tried to focus on Tsunade, but instead ended up shifting his gaze on Hinata. She was looking at him sadly, but knowingly. She knew. Naruto felt oddly betrayed.

"You have a tumor in your brain. It's causing your realistic hallucinations, and ultimately it will kill you." Tsunade continued. "It's a fairly low risk procedure, but if you do it,"

The catch. There's always a catch.

"You'll forget everything. You'll forget all your memories with Hinata. You'll forget her entirely." Tsunade said slowly. "What is your decision?"

Freedom, Naruto thought. Freedom from the millions of thoughts that ran through his brain everyday, freedom from the condescending looks, the pity. He'd be like his normal-

Hinata turned to him, and his heart dropped. He knew his answer.

Her smile, her pout, everything about her, was now the reason he lived. She grinned at him, and he wanted to kiss her one last time. His eyes watered, and he smiled at Tsunade.

"No."

He'd rather die than forget.

Once again, I didn't come up with this story, there's a story called Remembrance that this is based off of. I used NaruHina instead of ShikaTema, even though it's a pretty good pairing. Listen to the song 'Forget It' by Blood Orange. It's really good. I didn't write the lyrics down because I didn't want to make it a songfic, but still. :-] Rate and Review!