Hello, people! I doubt there's anyone here who recognizes me from the IZ forum, so allow me to introduce myself as CryingChild, the Firefly of Death! ...You can thank White Wave Dancer for that nickname. This is my first and last fic in the Sailor Moon forum, and I hope you enjoy it. Basically, everyone goes crazy. *Crickets chirp* ...That's about it. There's something like a plot to hold it all together, but really... No own.
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On the bubbling, white-hot surface of the sun, an atom crackled and split, flinging a beam of light across the cosmos. It exploded past Mercury and Venus then entered Earth's atmosphere finally coming to rest on the tired face of Ami. It glistened over the surface of her glasses as she sat in her bedroom, a stack of papers in front of her. She leaned back catlike and stretched until her arms gave out two satisfying pops. Ami had stayed up all last night studying, which was unusual for her. She valued a good night's sleep very much, and tried to get one whenever soul-sucking demons didn't throw off her schedule. But somehow, after the seven cups of coffee, the six-pack of Jolt Cola, and the economy sized package of No-Doze, she didn't much feel like sleeping.
Ami stretched again and yawned. "I wonder what kind of pudding the raunchy horse has today?" she mused.
She shook her head. Something was wrong with the sentence she had just uttered. Very wrong. In her usual state of mind she would have immediately picked up on the fact that it made no %&*@ing sense, but the combination of the lack of sleep and the sugar high made her see things in a different light. She really DID want to know what kind of pudding the raunchy horse had today! She NEEDED to know! Why, the fate of all the demon monkey babies in Peru could be at stake!
"Fear not, ye drooling monkeys!" she declared, "Sailor Mercury will save you!"
With that, she transformed and leapt headfirst out the window. She hit the ground running, though where she was running TO was unknown. As she zipped past Shitaki Park, Rini turned just in time to catch an uncertain glimpse of her.
"That... looked like Sailor Mercury..." she muttered. "No, couldn't be. Sailor Mercury would never say something like 'Broccoli soldiers have invaded my pants.'" She turned and ran to catch up with Chibi Chibi. "You know..." Rini began, "It's odd how much time has passed since the Black Moon attacked. It's been months!"
"Uh-HUH!" Chibi Chibi nodded happily.
Rini frowned. "Well, I don't like it. How am I supposed to continue training if there's no evil people to train against?" Chibi Chibi shrugged. "Wait a minute!" Rini cried, her eyes taking on a strange gleam, "What's that over there?" She pointed at a nearby cluster of buildings where nothing unusual was happening. "That giant grain of rice will destroy us all!" she screamed.
Chibi Chibi stared at the buildings. Then at Rini. Then at the buildings again. Rini, meanwhile, transformed and ran off in a seemingly random direction. Chibi Chibi tried to follow her, but soon lost her in the enormous crowd. Frantically, she turned and ran down the street in the direction of the Outer Senshi's shared apartment.
* * *
At said apartment, everyone was enjoying a relatively peaceful morning. They were all engaged in typical morning activities; Haruka was working on a crossword puzzle, Michuru was quietly brushing her hair, Hotaru was enjoying her daily bowl of Chunky Breakfast Chunks, and Setsuna had fallen asleep in her oatmeal.
Hotaru glanced across the table. "Is Setsuna okay?" she asked worriedly.
"I don't know," Michuru replied, "Can she breathe oatmeal?"
"Shh!" murmured Haruka, "I've almost got this..." She paused. "What's an eleven letter word for 'Geek?'"
"CryingChild." Michuru replied without hesitation.
Hotaru continued to stare at Setsuna. A bubble rose out of the oatmeal and popped.
Suddenly, Chibi Chibi burst through the door. "Rini's gone, Rini's gone!" she cried.
"What?" gasped Hotaru, "Where'd she go?"
"Rini's gone, Rini's gone!" cried Chibi Chibi.
"But what happened to her?" Haruka asked.
"Rini's gone, Ri-
(Seven hours later)
"So..." Michuru began, "Rini was talking about how long it's been since the last attack, and then she began seeing monsters that weren't there?"
Chibi Chibi nodded. A bubble rose out of Setsuna's oatmeal and popped.
"I've heard of this..." said Haruka, "It's a rare affliction that only affects superheroes. Once they get in the routine of fighting evil by moonlight, or whatever, some superheroes become addicted. When too much time passes without an evil force attacking, they go into a kind of withdrawal known as Osit Syndrome."
Michuru frowned. "Did you just say it was called 'Oh shi-'"
"NO." Haruka responded. "It was named after Haki Osit, the doctor who discovered it, OKAY?"
"Well..." Hotaru chirped, "Chibi Chibi said that Rini's now Sailor Chibi-Moon, right Chibi Chibi?" Chibi Chibi nodded.
"Wait," said Haruka, "I thought she was Eternal Sailor Chibi-Moon now!"
"Gee..." Hotaru replied, "I can't remember if she's Sailor Chibi-Moon or Eternal Sailor Chibi-Moon. What do you think, Chibi Chibi?"
"STOP SAYING 'CHIBI,' DAMMIT!!!" Michuru suddenly screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!" She stood, pulled out huge chunks of her hair, and then leapt screaming out the window, landing in a conveniently placed swimming pool with a mighty splash. Chibi Chibi ran to the window.
"Oh no!" cried Hotaru, "We chibi'd her to death!" she ran to join Chibi Chibi at the window.
"Chibi'd to death! Chibi'd to death!" Chibi Chibi agreed, hopping up and down urgently.
"She's FINE." said Haruka reassuringly, "She's a Sailor Senshi, she can handle a one story fall cushioned by a pool."
"But the pool is full of piranha!" Cried Hotaru.
"That's not the point!" Haruka maintained, not once wondering how piranha got in the pool. "She's fought countless evil powers! She's helped save the universe! A FEW PIRANHA WON'T KILL HER!"
"No," Hotaru agreed. "but they sure are eating her face off."
Haruka rolled her eyes and walked over to the window. "Oh they are n- YAAAAAA!" she leaned over and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Maybe we should just be friends!" she called. A bubble rose out of Setsuna's oatmeal and popped.
One fun-filled trip to the emergency room later, Haruka, Hotaru and Chibi Chibi were sitting in the waiting room, Haruka comforting Hotaru and Chibi Chibi reading magazines. After a while, Dr. Kobayashi-Maru strode in. The three looked up expectantly.
"Well..." Dr. Maru said solemnly, "She needed a lot of surgery. She lost a lot of blood but we found most of it. It looks like she's going to be okay."
Hotaru instantly brightened but Haruka still seemed concerned. "What about her face, doctor? Were you able to restore it?"
Dr. Maru smiled. "We have our best plastic surgeons working on her now." Haruka smiled. "However," continued Dr. Maru, "She may look like Richard Nixon." Haruka was stunned. "You'll be able to see her in a few hours." Dr. Maru finished cheerily, spinning on one heel and walking out of the waiting room.
"Wait!" Haruka shouted after him, "But-! The-! She-! I-! ...Who the hell is Richard Nixon!?!" A novelty oversized sweatdrop dripped down her forehead and she collapsed in a chair. Moaning, she turned to Hotaru. Her eyes were glued to the TV affixed to the ceiling, on which a pretty reporter stood in front of a mangled office building. "This is Mika Fandango, coming to you live." she said.
(White Wave Dancer: Give it up, CC, you're no good at making up Japanese names.
CryingChild: Hey! Get out of my author's notes! This ain't no 'History of the World'!)
The three Senshi watched the screen with rapt attention. "I'm here at Shitaki Plaza where Sailor Chibi-Moon has either gone insane or is fighting a giant invisible grain of rice." Mika continued. "Experts aren't sure which. Either way, we're all hoping some other Senshi will appear to shed some light on-"
"Hey!" cried someone in the background, "There's Sailor Mercury!"
The news camera panned over to him. "Where?" asked Mika.
"Over there!" the man pointed, "Yelling at that tree!"
The camera swiveled in the direction the man had indicated. A crazed Sailor Mercury appeared onscreen as a swarm of fans crowded around her.
"Oh, Sailor Mercury! Can I have your autograph?"
"I think you're the coolest Senshi of all!"
"Sailor Mercury! Sailor Mercury! Your hair is so cool! Where do you get it done?"
Mercury stared at the fan in front of her. Then she jumped on her shoulders and started chewing on her head. "AAAAAAA!" the fan screamed.
"Cheese rollers, Cheese rollers! Weasels and cream! Dare you deny the power of Pine-Sol?!" Mercury screamed, her mouth full of hair. The other fans shrieked, the crowd dispersed and chaos ensued.
The camera panned back to Mika "Well," she said, "there you have it, the Sailor Senshi have gone berserk." a cruel smile played on her lips and a black, downward-pointing crescent moon appeared o her forehead. "If you see any Sailor Senshi, consider them dangerous and-"
Haruka turned off the television. "This may be serious," she said hesitantly, "the other Senshi may need our help."
"I'm not leaving Michuru-Mama!" Hotaru cried.
"I can't leave her either." Haruka admitted, unearthing Chibi Chibi from a mountain of National Geographics. "We'll just have to hope the others can take care of themselves."
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Chapter 2 will come as soon as I clear the gunk out of my brain.
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On the bubbling, white-hot surface of the sun, an atom crackled and split, flinging a beam of light across the cosmos. It exploded past Mercury and Venus then entered Earth's atmosphere finally coming to rest on the tired face of Ami. It glistened over the surface of her glasses as she sat in her bedroom, a stack of papers in front of her. She leaned back catlike and stretched until her arms gave out two satisfying pops. Ami had stayed up all last night studying, which was unusual for her. She valued a good night's sleep very much, and tried to get one whenever soul-sucking demons didn't throw off her schedule. But somehow, after the seven cups of coffee, the six-pack of Jolt Cola, and the economy sized package of No-Doze, she didn't much feel like sleeping.
Ami stretched again and yawned. "I wonder what kind of pudding the raunchy horse has today?" she mused.
She shook her head. Something was wrong with the sentence she had just uttered. Very wrong. In her usual state of mind she would have immediately picked up on the fact that it made no %&*@ing sense, but the combination of the lack of sleep and the sugar high made her see things in a different light. She really DID want to know what kind of pudding the raunchy horse had today! She NEEDED to know! Why, the fate of all the demon monkey babies in Peru could be at stake!
"Fear not, ye drooling monkeys!" she declared, "Sailor Mercury will save you!"
With that, she transformed and leapt headfirst out the window. She hit the ground running, though where she was running TO was unknown. As she zipped past Shitaki Park, Rini turned just in time to catch an uncertain glimpse of her.
"That... looked like Sailor Mercury..." she muttered. "No, couldn't be. Sailor Mercury would never say something like 'Broccoli soldiers have invaded my pants.'" She turned and ran to catch up with Chibi Chibi. "You know..." Rini began, "It's odd how much time has passed since the Black Moon attacked. It's been months!"
"Uh-HUH!" Chibi Chibi nodded happily.
Rini frowned. "Well, I don't like it. How am I supposed to continue training if there's no evil people to train against?" Chibi Chibi shrugged. "Wait a minute!" Rini cried, her eyes taking on a strange gleam, "What's that over there?" She pointed at a nearby cluster of buildings where nothing unusual was happening. "That giant grain of rice will destroy us all!" she screamed.
Chibi Chibi stared at the buildings. Then at Rini. Then at the buildings again. Rini, meanwhile, transformed and ran off in a seemingly random direction. Chibi Chibi tried to follow her, but soon lost her in the enormous crowd. Frantically, she turned and ran down the street in the direction of the Outer Senshi's shared apartment.
* * *
At said apartment, everyone was enjoying a relatively peaceful morning. They were all engaged in typical morning activities; Haruka was working on a crossword puzzle, Michuru was quietly brushing her hair, Hotaru was enjoying her daily bowl of Chunky Breakfast Chunks, and Setsuna had fallen asleep in her oatmeal.
Hotaru glanced across the table. "Is Setsuna okay?" she asked worriedly.
"I don't know," Michuru replied, "Can she breathe oatmeal?"
"Shh!" murmured Haruka, "I've almost got this..." She paused. "What's an eleven letter word for 'Geek?'"
"CryingChild." Michuru replied without hesitation.
Hotaru continued to stare at Setsuna. A bubble rose out of the oatmeal and popped.
Suddenly, Chibi Chibi burst through the door. "Rini's gone, Rini's gone!" she cried.
"What?" gasped Hotaru, "Where'd she go?"
"Rini's gone, Rini's gone!" cried Chibi Chibi.
"But what happened to her?" Haruka asked.
"Rini's gone, Ri-
(Seven hours later)
"So..." Michuru began, "Rini was talking about how long it's been since the last attack, and then she began seeing monsters that weren't there?"
Chibi Chibi nodded. A bubble rose out of Setsuna's oatmeal and popped.
"I've heard of this..." said Haruka, "It's a rare affliction that only affects superheroes. Once they get in the routine of fighting evil by moonlight, or whatever, some superheroes become addicted. When too much time passes without an evil force attacking, they go into a kind of withdrawal known as Osit Syndrome."
Michuru frowned. "Did you just say it was called 'Oh shi-'"
"NO." Haruka responded. "It was named after Haki Osit, the doctor who discovered it, OKAY?"
"Well..." Hotaru chirped, "Chibi Chibi said that Rini's now Sailor Chibi-Moon, right Chibi Chibi?" Chibi Chibi nodded.
"Wait," said Haruka, "I thought she was Eternal Sailor Chibi-Moon now!"
"Gee..." Hotaru replied, "I can't remember if she's Sailor Chibi-Moon or Eternal Sailor Chibi-Moon. What do you think, Chibi Chibi?"
"STOP SAYING 'CHIBI,' DAMMIT!!!" Michuru suddenly screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!" She stood, pulled out huge chunks of her hair, and then leapt screaming out the window, landing in a conveniently placed swimming pool with a mighty splash. Chibi Chibi ran to the window.
"Oh no!" cried Hotaru, "We chibi'd her to death!" she ran to join Chibi Chibi at the window.
"Chibi'd to death! Chibi'd to death!" Chibi Chibi agreed, hopping up and down urgently.
"She's FINE." said Haruka reassuringly, "She's a Sailor Senshi, she can handle a one story fall cushioned by a pool."
"But the pool is full of piranha!" Cried Hotaru.
"That's not the point!" Haruka maintained, not once wondering how piranha got in the pool. "She's fought countless evil powers! She's helped save the universe! A FEW PIRANHA WON'T KILL HER!"
"No," Hotaru agreed. "but they sure are eating her face off."
Haruka rolled her eyes and walked over to the window. "Oh they are n- YAAAAAA!" she leaned over and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Maybe we should just be friends!" she called. A bubble rose out of Setsuna's oatmeal and popped.
One fun-filled trip to the emergency room later, Haruka, Hotaru and Chibi Chibi were sitting in the waiting room, Haruka comforting Hotaru and Chibi Chibi reading magazines. After a while, Dr. Kobayashi-Maru strode in. The three looked up expectantly.
"Well..." Dr. Maru said solemnly, "She needed a lot of surgery. She lost a lot of blood but we found most of it. It looks like she's going to be okay."
Hotaru instantly brightened but Haruka still seemed concerned. "What about her face, doctor? Were you able to restore it?"
Dr. Maru smiled. "We have our best plastic surgeons working on her now." Haruka smiled. "However," continued Dr. Maru, "She may look like Richard Nixon." Haruka was stunned. "You'll be able to see her in a few hours." Dr. Maru finished cheerily, spinning on one heel and walking out of the waiting room.
"Wait!" Haruka shouted after him, "But-! The-! She-! I-! ...Who the hell is Richard Nixon!?!" A novelty oversized sweatdrop dripped down her forehead and she collapsed in a chair. Moaning, she turned to Hotaru. Her eyes were glued to the TV affixed to the ceiling, on which a pretty reporter stood in front of a mangled office building. "This is Mika Fandango, coming to you live." she said.
(White Wave Dancer: Give it up, CC, you're no good at making up Japanese names.
CryingChild: Hey! Get out of my author's notes! This ain't no 'History of the World'!)
The three Senshi watched the screen with rapt attention. "I'm here at Shitaki Plaza where Sailor Chibi-Moon has either gone insane or is fighting a giant invisible grain of rice." Mika continued. "Experts aren't sure which. Either way, we're all hoping some other Senshi will appear to shed some light on-"
"Hey!" cried someone in the background, "There's Sailor Mercury!"
The news camera panned over to him. "Where?" asked Mika.
"Over there!" the man pointed, "Yelling at that tree!"
The camera swiveled in the direction the man had indicated. A crazed Sailor Mercury appeared onscreen as a swarm of fans crowded around her.
"Oh, Sailor Mercury! Can I have your autograph?"
"I think you're the coolest Senshi of all!"
"Sailor Mercury! Sailor Mercury! Your hair is so cool! Where do you get it done?"
Mercury stared at the fan in front of her. Then she jumped on her shoulders and started chewing on her head. "AAAAAAA!" the fan screamed.
"Cheese rollers, Cheese rollers! Weasels and cream! Dare you deny the power of Pine-Sol?!" Mercury screamed, her mouth full of hair. The other fans shrieked, the crowd dispersed and chaos ensued.
The camera panned back to Mika "Well," she said, "there you have it, the Sailor Senshi have gone berserk." a cruel smile played on her lips and a black, downward-pointing crescent moon appeared o her forehead. "If you see any Sailor Senshi, consider them dangerous and-"
Haruka turned off the television. "This may be serious," she said hesitantly, "the other Senshi may need our help."
"I'm not leaving Michuru-Mama!" Hotaru cried.
"I can't leave her either." Haruka admitted, unearthing Chibi Chibi from a mountain of National Geographics. "We'll just have to hope the others can take care of themselves."
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Chapter 2 will come as soon as I clear the gunk out of my brain.