A/N: Okay, so humor hasn't been successful for me so I am going to try really hard to make this funny. There may be some OOC (Out Of Character) moments so I apologize for that. xD Hope you enjoy! This is my first humor/parody fanfic so don't be too harsh. Please?

Caius Volturi goes to Anger Management

Chapter one: The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

There are times where I actually start liking Aro, and then he gives me a reason not to. I mean, I only stick around this place because I am secretly hoping Aro will give up his position as the 'official' leader of the vampire world and of course, give it to me because I am so much more deserving of the high status.

Aro, my easily fascinated and aloof Brother, has decided that I'm too violent and hateful. I thought that was exactly the reason why I'm a co-leader? But anyway, he signed me up to this anger management class. I'm not saying that I cannot control my anger, because I can, but if Aro wouldn't stress me out all the time than I wouldn't come off as such a monster. But, then again, I guess some things just irk me. Like stupid people.

I'll admit, I do lash out at people and yell at them…maybe give them a couple of bitch slaps but it's not like I have a problem. I simply do it because they deserve it.

As I sit here and grumble to myself, Aro enters the room. He's wearing his stupid smile and I want to punch him the mouth but if I did that, it wouldn't help my act of defence so I settle for glaring at him. He sits in his throne and cranes his head towards me. "Brother Caius, do smile." He chimes in, his mouth morphing into a slight grin. I huff and fold my arms. "No," I replied as I turned my nose up and look away. "I hate you right now." I added.

"Caius, you hate everyone." He retorted.

"You most of all."

"You can't hate me forever."

"Watch me." I growled.

"The first step to recovery…"

"Don't."

"…is admitting you have a problem."

I stood up abruptly and hissed. I couldn't take anymore. "I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES!" I screamed as I sped to the door, opened it, slid out and slammed it. The door had little cracks in it but I didn't care. It was Aro's property and problem. I paced down the passageway, passing a rather concerned Gianna and Heidi.

"Good morning, Master Caius." They politely said in unison. I growled in response.

There was nothing 'good' about today's morning so I'm going to go skulk like an adolescent who didn't get his own way.

Or maybe go on a killing spree. Both sounded pretty good to me.

Read and review, my sweets? Please? xD Second chapter should be up by next week. c;