BPOV
How did I get here? I ask myself. How did WE get here?
A rough spot in a relationship. Everything is always fine in the beginning and towards the end it goes to hell. We love and we fight and we make up and then we're good but this time there's no make-up. Usually it's the guy's fault but this time, I'm at fault. Or so he says.
I've been with my boyfriend for two years, two years of good and bad. All the fights and arguments I lived for because it meant we loved each other so much we were willing to fight for this, for us and I do love my boyfriend, I would think he knows it. I didn't think I'd have to say it all the time, I thought it showed in my actions. All the times he told me he loved me, I took it for granted. He would say 'I love you' and my answer would be 'I know.' I'm a good girlfriend, I'd like to think. I never cheated, never even thought about it. Every time someone takes interest in me, I think about what I've got waiting for me at home and I would never give it up or let it go. It's too good to be true, that this man loves me. I know I drive him crazy sometimes but he puts up with it because he loves me. See, it all goes back to love.
When I first met Edward, it wasn't love at first sight as it was for him. It took time for me to return the feeling but he never gave up. He was relentless and I liked it. I liked that I had this gorgeous man chasing after me. And he was so gorgeous and charming, with his clear blue eyes, and his face was so perfect. Oh but it wasn't his looks that made me fall for him. It's his character and personality. He's too nice and I know I don't deserve him. He never asks for anything in return, he just gives and gives. That's why I'm going to work hard to get him to see how much he means to me, how much I love and need him.
So I'm sitting here plotting. When he gets home I'll give him what he wants, what he needs in words I should have said every day. I just was not used to saying my feelings out loud but for him I will.
When he gets home I see he's tired and weary but as always, he puts my need before his. He comes and gives me a hug and a quick kiss but I don't let him go. I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his shoulder.
"Edward," I sigh.
"Bella?" he questions.
I look up at him and touch his face. "I have something to say," I reply.
He looks down at me, questions and uneasiness in his eyes. "Ok,'' he tenses.
"No, no it's not that," I say.
He relaxes in my arms. I sigh. He always thinks that one day I'll leave him but can I blame him? I take a deep breath and look straight into his eyes.
"There's something that I need to say, something I should have told you every day. Edward I love you, I'll always love you no matter what. Never doubt that, never doubt my love." His smile is blinding and he leans in to kiss me, but I put my finger to his lips. "I love you, I love you and I won't stop even when you're gone, baby, my love will carry on."
As my words seep through the air, his eyes soften and he takes my face in his hands. "Bella," he says, "I never doubted you loved me, it's just sometimes I need to hear those words. Thank you," and he kisses me. His lips are unyielding with pressure. There's so much passion and love behind this kiss that my knees give out and he has to hold me up but he doesn't stop. I'm dizzy from this feeling and I swear I see stars. When he's done kissing me he puts his forehead on mine.
"I love you, I love you," he whispers.
"I love you more," I say, "Je t'aime encore plus, mon cœur."
I made Edward happy with words: the words I never said.
I Miss these 8 Letters
They've fallen from my lips
I scarcely hear them anymore
It's Like They Don't Exist
I Don't Give It
I don't receive it
So Much I stopped believing
Lost all the hope I had
Makes me so sad
I Miss the smile on my face
I Miss the tears of joy
I Miss these 8 letters
They've fallen from my lips
I Miss hearing them
It's like they don't exist
I want to give it
I want to receive it
So I won't stop believing