Chapter 1
Princess Diamond finished her speech. The throne room echoed with applause, scores of toads clapping in burning torch lights. Diamond – elegant in her midnight blue gown – took a seat on a throne beside Queen Peach. If not for her black eyes and long, thick brown hair, she'd be the splitting image of her mother. Brown hair… like her late father.
Across the room, a pair of toads stood sentinel at the giant double doors, lances in hand.
"Huh, not a hint of stage fright this time," the guard with a blue-spotted jungle green cap whispered. "The princess did amazing. I am shocked." His eyes shifted to his partner, a black-capped toad, no spots. "What'd you think, Damian?"
No answer. Damian's gaze never left Princess Diamond. He exhaled deep, a dazed smile upon his face.
"Damian?"
Again, no answer.
The guard reached over and flicked the back of Damian's head.
"Ouch!" Damian held his head. "What the hell was that for?" He kept his voice low while glaring.
"How many times do I have to tell you? Stop ogling the princess. You're a guard, not a lover."
"I can't be both?"
"Dude, when have you ever seen guys like us dating royalty? We're knights. Let it go. Besides, there's plenty hot toad chicks who're into guards. Go after one of them."
"But, Jeff—"
"Thank you, everyone, for coming out tonight. Have a safe trip home," Queen Peach said.
Another round of cheers, then civilians rose from the stands, soon pouring out the double doors. Damian and Jeff stood still as statues, until only them, the princess, the queen, and Toadsworth remained.
"When our shift is over," Jeff started. "I'm taking you to the bar. You need to get laid."
"No, you get laid. I'm not going."
"Ah, come on. Drinks are on me."
"I have other stuff to do."
"Like what?"
"Stuff."
"So, nothing?"
"Why are you so damn nosy?" Damian asked. "I'm practicing my dance steps for the ball tomorrow, if you really wanna know. I'll be off-duty."
Jeff could barely stifle a laugh. "And, let me guess, you're gonna try to dance with the princess."
"Not try. Will. And I'll sweep her off her feet."
Jeff howled with laughter, and Damian clenched his teeth, face reddening.
#
At home, Damian stood in front of the couch. Bathed in the television's glow, he watched So You Want To Rule The Dance Floor? a DVD he rented last week. He'd been practicing every night. While he wasn't gliding across the floor like the toad couple onscreen, his movements were much more fluid than the first day he began. He danced until the living room wall clock struck 7AM. After he'd gotten some rest, Damian resumed practice.
Little by little, the sun dipped below the horizon, the sky an assortment of purples and oranges, clouds thin and divided.
Time to show Princess Diamond that Damian wasn't just another toad, another guard.
#
Damian entered Mushroom Castle, garbed in a tuxedo black as his mushroom cap – the specified attire for the event. Music wafted from somewhere above. Damian followed it. He climbed staircases, crossed corridors, all the while nodding to guardsmen on patrol. The sounds of saxophones and violins and a lone piano only continued to amplify the farther he went.
Stationed near the open doors leading to the ballroom was Jeff. His stern look – the usual face he wore on duty – vanished upon seeing Damian. "Evening, sir." Jeff grinned hard, no doubt fighting off the urge to laugh again. Hickeys half peeked out the collar of his shirt.
Damian gave him a fake smile. "Evening." Walking past, he slapped Jeff's shoulder. Not hard, but enough to make him slightly budge. "Try not to fall asleep on the job, ya bum."
"Break a leg. Text me what happens."
Damian scarcely heard Jeff while he stepped inside. Toads swept across the marble dance floor – guys in black tuxedos, girls in midnight blue dresses. It didn't take long for Damian to spot Princess Diamond, what with her towering over everyone except the queen. She was already dancing with someone. Damian expected that. Every red-blooded man, including those in relationships or married, wanted a chance to dance with the princess, to feel her soft hands against theirs, to move as one with her, to pretend they were the one loyal knight she'd fallen for. Damian had wanted all of that since age seven, when the difference in height between her and him didn't exist. The first time he laid eyes on her as a child, he knew he wanted to be her protector… and more.
Damian leaned against a wall opposite the band performing, eyes wandering. He wasn't the only off-duty knight attending, apparently. Knight Commander Barrton, who had trimmed his gray beard and mustache, was sitting at a table with Queen Peach, Toadsworth, and four retainers. Whatever they were discussing, it must've been hilarious, because in the middle of all the laughter, three of the retainers almost tumbled from their chairs. Either that, or they had too much to drink. The wine bottle in the table's center was empty.
His attention returned to Princess Diamond. Right when she broke away from one partner, another whisked her back onto the dance floor. I should probably get moving before her feet get tired. Damian maneuvered around dancers and tables. He stopped within hailing distance, waiting among a sea of swaying toads. Two more minutes, and the song ended.
As everyone applauded, one of the saxophonist took a microphone. "Now." The room quieted. "Now… this next one is very special, very dear to our hearts. I want everybody to go to that one important person in your life, the one you can't live without, the one you'd give the whole world to if you could. Go to them. Take their hand. Hold them close to your heart."
People paired up. But the princess stood alone – free.
Damian's body wouldn't budge. She's right there. In front of me. Come on, Damian, go! He took a breath before straightening his tie with sweaty hands, as if for reassurance.
The band took up their instruments, then started.
Princess Diamond glanced at the couples, all smiles. After a moment, she turned her back to the dance floor.
"Princess…"
She whirled around and looked down.
Damian stood before her, a hand out. "May I have this dance?"
"Sure."
Damian slid his fingers between hers, interlocking. This is where I belong. They gyrated, staring into each other's eyes. This is where everything in my life changes.
A bellowing noise cut through the music. The blowing horn – the castle's warning signal. Someone used it. Musicians ceased playing. Dancers froze. People traded worried looks.
#
Watchmen stood atop a battlement, positioned behind cannons. Others held bows, with quivers full of arrows strapped to their backs. All glared into the black sky, at an airship sailing towards them. The Bowser figurehead shimmered in the moonlight, leaving no questions about who the invaders might be.
"So the day has finally arrived," Knight Sergeant Ozlee, a one-armed toad, said. He clenched the blowing horn in his only hand. "The little koopalings think they're grown enough to be like their dead scum of a king." His voice rose. "On my mark, men. We'll blow this airship to kingdom come." He drew a breath. "FIRE!"
Cannonballs went whistling. Left and right of the airship's figurehead, wooden panels slid open, unveiling slots. Cannonballs shot out, collided into the ones below. Clangs rang out and rattled the air as all metal shattered.
"Reload. Quickly!" Ozlee said. His gaze went from his men to the airship. Clouds scudded, six altogether. Not night clouds. These were small, white. "What is that?" A bald creature peered down from one, thick goggles over its eyes. "A lakitu! They're lakitus!"
The lakitus gathered at the top of Mushroom Castle, heads dipping into their clouds. Reemerging, they tossed bob-ombs. Explosions erupted. The tower roof burst into fiery pieces.
A collective gasp escaped the watchmen.
"Bastards," Ozlee hissed. "Is their goal to destroy the whole castle?"
Archers hurried past him, aiming at the lakitus. They simultaneously pulled their bowstrings far as possible, then let shafts loose. A mass of arrows rushed upward like a flock of birds. Just when the arrows were inches underneath the clouds, they curved, plummeting, falling here and there, rolling off undamaged sections of the roof.
"They're too high!" one archer said.
"Try again," Ozlee said.
Toads nodded while plucking arrows from their quivers.
Shouts turned Ozlee and the archers' heads. Behind them, paratroopas swooped at the toads manning the cannons, wings beating. Toads scrambled across the battlement. Archers fired, but koopas dodged by ascending or retreating into their shells, the arrows ricocheting away.
"Heads-up! They have reinforcements," an archer said.
And in seconds, ten more paratroopas descended. Ozlee threw himself to the ground. A koopa darted over his head. The battle was now all around him – arrows piercing koopas' skulls, koopas ramming their shells into toads and flinging them into merlons. There was more than a handful of fallen bodies before Ozlee stood.
In front of him, a paratroopa clamped its teeth around a watchman's shoulder. Ozlee dashed, yelling. The paratroopa took flight, lifting the squirming toad. Ozlee slashed a wing clean off with the blowing horn. With a squawk, the koopa released the watchman. It tottered despite fluttering its last wing for balance, and tumbled face-first.
The toad got to his feet. His shoulder was stained red. "Thanks, Serg—"
A shell crashed into the watchman's neck. The resounding snap sent a chill crawling all over Ozlee's skin as the subordinate collapsed, eyes wide open, the life gone from them. Ozlee leaped at the paratroopa, who – for an instant – peeked outside its shell. He rode the koopa to the ground, knee pressed atop the shell. "Get out here, you coward!" The turtle refused. "Fine, I'll come to you." Ozlee raised the blowing horn over his head, the thin, sharp mouthpiece pointing outward. He brought it down and inside. A screech escaped the shell.
An explosion from high above stole Knight Sergeant Ozlee's attention. The lakitus had thrown more bob-ombs, this time through the opening they'd created. While smoke rolled upward, Ozlee glimpsed something jump from the lakitu clouds and into the castle – black-robed beings.
#
Chunks of ceiling rained in the ballroom's center, sending toads bolting. Hiking her dress to her knees, Princess Diamond ran to her mother, who remained beside Toadsworth, the retainers, and Knight Commander Barrton. Damian trailed after, but stood four steps from their table.
"Don't panic!" Barrton shouted. The screams and thumping of a hundred footsteps drowned out his voice as attendants clogged the doorway, several tripping and falling over one another.
"Yes, panic."
Barrton and the others followed the voice. On the opposite side of the room, a toad stared at them, eyes glittering. Thick smoke billowed from under his feet, concealed him. Once it cleared, a magikoopa stood in place. Columns of smoke went up around a toad couple a yard away. Another two magikoopas.
"They've been here the whole time? In disguise?" Barrton bared his teeth.
"A-are there more masquerading somewhere?" Toadsworth said.
"Mother, who are they?" Princess Diamond asked. "What's happening?"
"Minions of a long-time tyrant and enemy of the Mushroom Kingdom." The queen took her daughter's trembling hands in hers. "I thought these days were a thing of the past."
Damian looked for something, anything, to use as a weapon. This is the worst day to be off. I need my lance.
The magikoopa couple raised their scepters, and from the jewels on the end, spheres of fire streaked at toads still scurrying for the ballroom's exit. The lone magikoopa vanished in a puff of smoke. He reappeared behind Toadsworth, then swung his wand down on his head. The elder collapsed, his cane falling seconds before he did. Just as everyone turned, the magikoopa launched fireballs past Peach and Diamond. The others ducked. Except one retainer. Flames swallowed him, reduced him to ashes, mushroom cap and all.
"Greg?" a female retainer called out. Realization hit. She let out a wail, her voice bouncing off the walls.
Peach was crouching over Toadsworth when the magikoopa snatched her wrist and yanked her up.
"Let go!" The queen wrenched, but the henchman squeezed tighter.
"Mother!"
The magikoopa aimed his scepter right between Princess Diamond's eyes. She halted, shivering.
One of the other magikoopas teleported over. "What do you think you're doing?" He grasped his comrade's shoulder. "Lower your wand. We're here for the princess, not the queen."
The first magikoopa gave him a quick glance. "Calm down. I wasn't going to kill her. You grab her. The queen is my own personal reward." He leered at Peach through his glasses, tiny fangs exposed.
"Only personal reward you're getting is a burial!"
The magikoopas whipped around, wands ready.
Damian tore off his tuxedo and tossed it aside, still unarmed. "I am a knight of Mushroom Castle, sworn protector of the royal family." His voice betrayed no fear. Yet the retainer being disintegrated replayed in his mind. Fresh beads of sweat trickled down his face. "Step away from the queen and princess."
One magikoopa cackled. The other – the one holding Queen Peach – said, "Ah, so you're one of those toads who're brave, a rare breed. I commend you. Now burn!" Fire blazed around his scepter's jewel, formed into a ball.
"Run!" Princess Diamond screamed.
Damian didn't move a muscle. "You better hope you don't miss."
"We are not the Mushroom Kingdom of yesterday!" Knight Commander Barrton rose to his feet. From his pocket, he pulled out a starman, its ever-changing rays of rainbow light sweeping over the ceiling, walls, tables, everything.
The magikoopas cast their projectiles his way. Barrton closed his hand into a fist, crushing the starman. Sparkling head to toe, Barrton hurdled the table, and incoming fireballs met him, then fizzled out with a hiss. He landed, took the wizards by their throats, and rocketed forward, slamming the back of their heads into a wall. Their eyeglasses shattered.
"No super plumbers, no problem." Barrton loosened his grip, and the magikoopas slid to the floor, lifeless as Toadsworth. He spun around to rush at the last enemy. Damian and the others cheered him on.
The magikoopa, hearing footsteps, faced him, fired. Again, Barrton's body absorbed the blasts. Barrton threw a punch. His knuckles were an inch from the magikoopa's nose when the wizard disappeared. He reappeared behind the knight commander, teleported a second time to evade a backhanded swing. This time, the magikoopa leaped backwards to escape Barrton's next punch. Then the flurry of sparkles dancing around Barrton faded all at once.
"Looks like your star's gone." A grin contorted the magikoopa's features. "And so is your life!" He conjured a fireball.
A spearhead burst through the magikoopa's chest. As he fell, the wand's fire regressed to magic dust before dispersing.
Jeff stood before Barrton. "Commander." He nodded, then dislodged the lance with a single tug.
The knight commander saluted him. "Excellent timing."
Damian, Princess Diamond, and Queen Peach – carrying Toadsworth – went to them. The retainers did, too, the only female among them still in tears as another guided her.
"Jeff!" Damian greeted. "I—"
The princess gasped. All eyes looked where she did. A black-robed creature had descended from the ceiling's gaping hole – tall as the average toad, a gas mask over its face.
"I've seen those things before," Damian said. He stepped in front of Princess Diamond. "A shy guy, right?"
"Try snifit," Barrton told him. "They're much more lethal. They're like walking revolvers."
Two shadows dropped from the ceiling, both snifits. They were murmuring something, their words foreign.
Barrton tapped Damian's chest with a fist. "You said you're a knight, too, son?" He kept his gaze locked on the snifits. "I want you and the other soldier to escort the queen and princess to the warp pipe down in the cellar."
"What about you, Commander?" Damian asked.
"I'll serve as a distraction."
"But—"
"Those are direct orders. Do I have your word that you'll keep the queen and princess safe at all costs? Are you knight enough to get the job done?"
Damian opened his mouth to protest, to tell Barrton they could defeat the snifits together and escape with no more lives lost. He reconsidered. As a knight, it was his obligation to obey and execute commands. "Y-yes, sir."
The snifits began to advance. Yet another shadow came diving from above. But this one was unlike the rest, with a head full of long mint green hair thrashing until she hit the floor feet first. Just as the snifits whipped around, the woman swung her lance like a sword. The snifit closest to her split in two, upper half tumbling through the air, lower half falling at her feet. The remaining snifits leaped away, circled her.
Barrton pumped a fist. "Yeah! Take it to 'em!"
"Wow." Jeff huffed a laugh. "Never thought I'd say it, but for once, I'm glad to see Valerie."
"What's the matter, little skydivers?" Valerie's eyes shifted from one snifit to the other. "You thought you'd just invade my kingdom and nothing would happen? You're in my world now, my Hell… and I promise it'll be a short stay. Just ask your friend. Oh, sorry. He can't answer anymore."
With a yell, the snifits spat round bullets out of their nuzzle-mouths. Valerie jumped over one, ducked another, lunged, lance leveled. The snifit she neared fired and fired, only for Valerie to zigzag out of their path. The gap between them closed. Valerie's weapon plunged deep and lifted the snifit off its feet. She stared the snifit straight in its empty sockets. Then, three kicks later, she dislodged the body from her lance.
A second snifit trio plummeted into the room. Regrouping with them, the only survivor spoke fast while flailing its arms, most likely warning them of Valerie.
Valerie smirked. "Keep it coming. The more, the merrier."
From the ballroom's entrance, a squad of twelve knights rushed in. "Commander!" more than one hollered.
"Ah, backup!" Jeff smiled.
Barrton waved them over. Once at his side, he issued instructions. "Six of you go assist Valerie over here. You other six, help escort the queen and princess to the cellar. Get them to the warp pipe, understood?"
"Yes, sir!" they answered in unison, breaking into two groups – six hurrying towards Valerie, six remaining by the queen and princess.
"Get moving, you two!" Barrton told Damian and Jeff.
They nodded. Then they were off, Damian, Jeff, the queen, the princess, the retainers, the knights.
Running beside Princess Diamond, Damian called her name, "Princess." When her onyx eyes found his, he reached out. "Take my hand again. I'm asking as a knight this time. Let me be your sword and shield."
There was a hint of a smile on her lips as she laid her hand in his. "Thank you."
When they exited the ballroom, Jeff and the six knights fanned out into a circle around everyone else. The corridor was empty, much to Damian's relief. From the explosions, he assumed this was a full-scale invasion. The fact that koopa troops weren't lying in wait and only entering from the ballroom meant the Knighthood of Mushroom Castle was holding its own. Or… what if they had broken through and were storming the floors below? What if—
Magikoopas! The thought struck him. His eyes snapped wide and darted to the knights. No one knew they were here, hiding right in front of us. What's stopping any of these guys from being a magikoopa, too?
One of the picture windows that ran along the corridor shattered. And while shards of glass showered the floor, a blur swooped in from outside and jerked to a stop. Floating on a broom sat a large charcoal-robed magikoopa lacking eyeglasses. There was something else behind him – wild, puffy blue hair?
Jeff and the six knights formed a wall in front of the others. They brandished their lances.
"What have we here, hmm?" the magikoopa said. "A small band of toads with cute itsy-bitsy weapons? I'll tell you what, hand over the princess, and I won't obliterate any of you. Sound fair?"
"Over our dead bodies, freak!" one knight shouted.
"Oh, may. Hurling insults at moi? You're lucky I'm not short-tempered. Let me repeat myself: hand over the princess. I'm trying to spare your lives. Work with me, please."
"I say we go ahead and compose a symphony… with their screams and cries as our instruments." The one behind the magikoopa dropped off the broom – a koopa taller than the queen and princess, wand in hand.
"L-L-Ludwig Von Koopa!" a knight spoke. The lance trembled in his hands.
The knights exchanged looks, fear plain as day on all their faces, including Jeff. Damian, too, while Princess Diamond's hand tightened around his. And the retainers, despite protection in front of them, still cowered. Everyone in Mushroom Kingdom had heard the stories of Ludwig Von Koopa – the evilest of the koopalings. Composer of Destruction, some call him. They say he tortured over a hundred toads and made musical instruments from their bones. They say he slaughtered an entire audience of his own people after being booed during a concert. They say even King Bowser had grown wary of him before death.
"What will it be, toads?" Ludwig asked. "Dishonor your kingdom by handing over the princess, or die a premature death by my hands? The choice is yours."
"I'd go with the former if I were you," the magikoopa said. "Live to fight another day, my friends."
No one moved… until one knight broke into a charge. "Long live Mushroom Kingdom!" he screamed, eyes flooded with tears.
Jeff and the other five joined, their lances poised. Ludwig only grinned. His teeth were sharp as the spearheads aimed at him.
"Master, please," the magikoopa said. "If I may."
Ludwig briefly eyed him. He stepped aside. The magikoopa hovered past, lowering himself to the toads' eye level. He pointed his scepter. Magic in the form of shapes hurtled out of the jewel – square, circle, triangle – spinning. Knights dove left and right. Too slow. The spell found flesh, tore past like a buzz saw, just missed Jeff's foot, soared over the queen's head, and disappeared into the ceiling. The six knights fell to the floor, a tangle of bodies. Blood pooled under them, flowed as one. Damian and the rest gaped.
"I warned you," the magikoopa said. "I warned you all."
Jeff rose to his feet, staring at the corpses. Half a minute passed. His quivering fingers curled. "Hey…" He took up his lance again. "I think you missed a knight, asshole."
The wizard rolled his eyes. "Again with the name-calling."
"You're right. That won't kill you!" Jeff dashed.
The magikoopa chortled before climbing off his broom, leaving it floating. He held his scepter low, at his side. "I'm right here. Unleash all your hatred."
"I'll fight, too!" Damian slipped his hand from the princess's.
Princess Diamond spoke. No words came, though. She had lost her voice, but Damian read her lips: "Don't go."
Damian shook his head, ran, and scooped up a dead comrade's lance. Jeff thrust forth. The magikoopa sidestepped and swung his scepter into the back of Jeff's head. As Jeff was knocked farther ahead, Damian stabbed at the wizard's face. The magikoopa's head weaved side to side, wherever the spearhead wasn't. Eight misses, and Damian aimed for the torso. The magikoopa shifted right, and when Jeff lunged from behind, he back-flipped in place, Jeff running under him.
"Let's try one of those moves from training," Damian said after Jeff skidded to his side.
"Which one?"
"J-3. I'll lead."
Damian sprinted. Jeff fell in behind him. Reaching the magikoopa, Damian clenched his lance… and ducked.
"Hmm?" The magikoopa's eyes narrowed.
Jeff sprang clear over Damian, flung his lance like a javelin. His aim was true.
The magikoopa disappeared in a burst of smoke. Jeff's lance sailed down the corridor.
"Damn it!" Jeff yelled.
"Oh, right. He can teleport." Damian scowled.
"Well, you gave it a try." The magikoopa stood a short distance behind them, his back to the corpses. "But I'm afraid neither of you are good enough. A toad is a toad." More smoke, and he was right in their faces. He batted them with his scepter, knocking Jeff one way, Damian another.
Damian's back smacked into the wall. Just as he slid to the floor – spine throbbing, lance falling from his fingers – the magikoopa was there, the wand a hair away from his nose.
"I'll give you the last word, my little toad." The wand's jewel ignited with magic, a light so bright that it forced Damian's eyes shut.
Long live Mushroom Kingdom, was what Damian wanted to say. He wanted to die like the last knight who shouted it did – loyal to the very end. "Princess…" His voice quivered instead, just a whisper.
"Stop!"
The magikoopa twisted his head to Princess Diamond.
"Please. No more." She had regained her voice, and had a hand outstretched, as if that would stop the wizard. "I'll do whatever you want, just stop."
The wand's magic flickered out. The magikoopa pulled away from Damian. "What an angelic face. That look of despair… so beautiful."
"Easy there, Malik. She's not for you." Ludwig pushed off from the wall he'd been leaning against. "Right this way, Princess. King Bowser Jr. awaits you. Come quietly, and I promise no one else gets hurt." His smile was anything but warm and friendly.
"Take me instead." Queen Peach moved in front of Diamond after sitting Toadsworth down. "Leave my daughter out of this."
"Mother…" the princess said.
"You're my child – my only child," Peach told her. "I won't let them have you."
"Take you instead?" Ludwig snorted. "You're old and used up. You used to be so gorgeous. Time hasn't been kind to you at all."
"You take my daughter from me, and I swear, there will be fire and brimstone. My kingdom will become a force the likes you've never seen before."
Ludwig laughed hard. Damian's eyes wandered, and he found Jeff farther down the corridor, unconscious. I'm the only one left, the last hope. He crawled to his lance. If this is the end... He climbed to his knees, to his feet. I'm taking down at least one of them. Rising up his chest and out his mouth came a battle cry that echoed throughout the corridor. And as every pair of eyes shifted his way, Damian darted, tiny feet pounding against the floor, past Malik, towards Ludwig. He leaped, drove the lance at the koopaling's face. Ludwig jerked. The spearhead grazed a cheek. A shallow cut.
The back of Ludwig's fist flew across Damian's face. Vision blurred, Damian met the wall face-first. His head snapped back, eyes rolling up into their sockets.