Don't Be Afraid to Love

by smithren

Megan leaves Walter a message to help him in his new relationship.

Don't Be Afraid to Love

One – Shot

Immediately following 2x10 Arrivals and Departures:

The day after Megan's death, Sylvester and his new in-laws returned to Megan's hospital room to gather her things. Sylvester was emptying a bedside drawer when he saw an envelope addressed to Toby. He was curious as to the envelope's contents, but would never think of violating Megan's privacy. He made a mental note to give the envelope to Toby and then proceeded with the task at hand. When he got back to the garage, he promptly handed the envelope to Toby and the two friends commiserated for a few minutes, attempting to console one another. Sylvester was handling Megan's death surprisingly well—he was sad but managed to avoid sobbing uncontrollably. Toby returned to his desk and opened the envelope; there was a note for him, another note addressed to Walter, and a memory stick. Toby read:

Toby,

I am leaving this for you because you, more than anyone, would keep a close eye on the changing relationship between my brother and Paige. I am ever the optimist, and know that someday those two will express their feelings for each other. I would leave him this message myself, but if the worst has just happened and I am now gone, he might not be in a place to listen to what I have to say.

Toby, I know my brother, and I know that a romantic relationship, especially one where he actually has an emotional attachment, will be hard for him. There will come a point when it seems like he is going to give up. When you see that he has reached that point, I want you to give him this package.

Oh, and Toby, never stop being the great friend that you are to two men that I love more than anything. Never let them, or any of the team, forget that life is about making good memories. - Megan

Toby wiped away the slow stream of tears that had begun to fall and then smiled. He put the note in his desk drawer and joined Happy, Sylvester, and Ralph in a spirited game of charades.

~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~

Six months later

Toby can hear his newly coupled friends arguing in the loft. The relationship between Walter and Paige blossomed steadily after Megan's death as the two helped to console each other. Walter, of course, was devastated, though not nearly as bad as the team anticipated. He still got lost in his MS research sometimes, but he didn't go down the rabbit hole. Paige didn't know Megan that well, but she was her only friend outside of the team. Her death certainly affected the very emotional Paige. The two leaned on each other for comfort and strength and a few weeks after Megan's death, sometime before Christmas, they decided to begin a relationship.

Today, the new couple is having a lengthy and loud argument in the loft. Toby can't hear exactly what the argument is about, but after about twenty minutes Paige emerges from the loft fuming, "Walter, if you didn't want to be in this relationship anymore all you had to do was say so. Rejecting me and not communicating with me is just mean." Paige leaves the garage without noticing Toby's presence.

Toby waits a few minutes to see if Walter will follow Paige, but is shocked to hear the sound of banging metal. Walter isn't going after Paige; he's working on his rocket.

Toby carefully approaches Walter. "So Mr. 197, care to tell me what that was all about?"

Walter, not even looking up from his work, responds quickly, "Nope."

Toby begins to speak a little louder, "You're not even going to go after her?"

"What for? I have already said what I needed to say."

Toby moves closer to Walter and gestures aggressively. "From what she said and her demeanor, it sounds like she is questioning your whole relationship. She could decide to break up with you. You have to go talk to her."

Walter finally puts down his tools and looks at Toby, rambling now, "I knew that my trying to have a romantic relationship was a bad idea, but everyone kept telling me that it would be different with Paige. It's true Paige is different than any woman I've known, but she is still a woman, and all women have certain needs in relationships that I am ill-equipped to fulfill. I want Paige to be happy. If no longer being in a relationship with me makes her happy, I will accept that."

Walter's statement is all Toby needs to know that he still had very real feelings for Paige, but is just frustrated about something.

Walter tries to move past Toby, but Toby steps in front of him and gets in his face. "Walter O'Brien, you may have a 197 IQ, and I believe most of the things you say without question, but you are so wrong about this. You won't accept it if she moves on with some other guy. You are going to regret it. Why are you giving up? You had a fight, people in relationships fight, but you can't work it out if you don't talk."

Walter just stares at Toby then shoves past him to the lower level kitchen. Toby shakes his head and returns to his desk. He reaches in his drawer to find the note that Megan entrusted him with. It's time, Toby thinks to himself. While Walter is still getting himself a snack in the kitchen, Toby leaves the envelope by his rocket with a note, I THINK IT'S TIME YOU SAW THIS. IT'S FROM MEGAN.

~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~SCORPION~~~~~~~~

Walter returns to his rocket and sees the envelope left by Toby. At first Walter is angry, thinking Toby is using the memory of his deceased sister to get Walter to listen to more of his psychobabble. Still, the genius's curiosity gets the best of him and he eventually opens the envelope.

Deartháir óger,

I am leaving you this note and video because just like the time we were kids and I pulled the fire alarm to get you out of trouble, it will always be my job to do what I can to make your life better.

First of all, I am having a nurse type this, so now three people know about the fire alarm. I am sending this, optimistic that you and Paige have finally come to terms with your feelings for one another. However, if you're reading this, then Toby gave you this note because he thinks you might be giving up on your relationship.

My sweet brother, I know that brothers don't usually discuss these things with their sisters, but I'm dying so whatever, I'm doing it anyway. Walter, please don't be afraid to love. Love honestly and completely. You always say that the thing that defines you is your mind, and while it's true you are smart, a genius, it's your heart that leads you to use your mind to save others. It was your heart that lead you back into that rockslide to save Owen, and it's your heart that leads you to risk your life to save your team, especially Paige. You loved me with your whole heart, every single day that I was privileged to have you as a brother. We may not have always agreed on my treatment, but I know that what you wanted for me, to live longer rather than enjoy a better quality of life, was you thinking with your heart. You should approach your relationship with Paige the same way, leading with your heart.

I know that a romantic relationship where you actually feel emotion is new to you, but you can't be afraid to commit everything you have to it. You have to let Paige all the way in, and that may mean that you, Mr. 197, I have no emotions, may have to admit to being afraid. Toby gave you this note for a reason, something has happened. I know you, so I know that a big part of the problem is that you are thinking of running away from your relationship rather than telling the truth and admitting that you are afraid of something.

Walter, listen to your big sister, after you read this note and watch the video I left for you. You need to find a store, buy some flowers, and go talk to Paige. I left a gift that you can give her because every girl likes jewelry. Hopefully you will recognize it. If you can explain it, it should help get your relationship back on track.

Walter, you have your whole life ahead of you, and life is about making good memories. I know you don't believe in an afterlife but my spirit is always with you.

"Bhiodh me in ngra leat go deo." – Megan

Walter finds his tablet to look at the video. In the video, Walter and Megan are on the beach, Walter eventually leaving his sister's side. Megan turns to face the camera and says, "Walter, this is how I want you to remember me. Don't be afraid to be who you really are. Remember Walter, don't be afraid to love."

Also in the package is a Claddagh ring, a traditional Irish heirloom that their mother gave to Megan. Walter smiles because he recognizes the item immediately.

There are so many things going through Walter's head now. He didn't mean to hurt Paige, he would never want to hurt Paige, but he just could not admit to her how inept he was in the bedroom. His last sexual experience, if it could be called that, ended with his partner leaving after the first day of what was supposed to be romantic weekend. Walter had noticed over the last few weeks that she was sending signals about wanting to take their relationship to the next level, but he needed more time. He tried to research what to do in hopes of being prepared, but his research wasn't really effective.

Walter did love kissing Paige and he sometimes thought about what it would feel like to take things further. However, the one thing Walter learned from all his research was that the man should take the lead in these situations, and he just didn't feel confident. He assumed that Paige would expect him to know what to do, and he really did not want to disappoint her.

Walter wipes the steady stream of tears caused by reading Megan's letter and confronting the true reason for his fight with Paige. He tries to compose himself as he finds his phone to text her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paige lays in her bed, quietly crying, not wanting to wake Ralph. Even though he usually sleeps like the dead, he has a knack for hearing her cry. Paige really doesn't know what to make of the argument she had with Walter earlier. They were talking about taking their relationship to the next level, and Walter just said he wasn't ready. He wouldn't explain why when Paige asked, and he wouldn't tell Paige if there was anything she could do to ease any anxiety he may have had.

Over the last few weeks, Paige hadn't exactly being throwing herself at Walter, but she was definitely giving signals about where she wanted the relationship to go. Walter's lack of response made her feel humiliated and worthless. When he wouldn't answer her direct inquiries on the subject, she immediately thought that there was something about her that Walter didn't like. These feelings brought up old memories of her relationship with Drew, and how she felt when he cheated on her.

Paige knows that Walter isn't rejecting her because he kisses her so passionately. Sometimes the way he kisses her makes her entire body tingle. She also knows that he's not Drew and wouldn't intentionally hurt her, but the fact that Walter doesn't trust her enough to communicate his feelings is still hurtful.

Paige's thoughts are interrupted when her phone buzzes with a text from Walter. "Paige, I know that you are mad at me, but I would very much like to apologize. Can we please talk?"

Paige is still trying to gather her thoughts, and isn't ready to talk to him yet. She responds, "Walter, it's really late and I am about to go to sleep, can we talk tomorrow?"

Walter is afraid he'll lose his nerve waiting until tomorrow, but glancing at the video on his computer gives him an idea. "Tomorrow is Saturday, why don't we go to the beach for a brunch picnic?"

Paige is surprised at Walter's suggestion—it's the most romantic date Walter has ever planned and she accepts quickly. Ralph loves the beach, so Walter is going to bring Toby to keep Ralph occupied while they talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Toby and Walter arrive at the designated spot on Zuma Beach at around 10 a.m. to set things up for the picnic. They spread the blanket then arrange the smorgasbord of food from Kovelsky's. Toby tries to get Walter to talk about the message Megan left for him and what he's going to say to Paige, but Mr. 197 stays quiet.

Paige and Ralph arrive at the beach half an hour later, Ralph jumping out of the car and running straight toward two of his genius mentors, high-fiving them both. Toby and Ralph stay for a few minutes to eat some of the food before leaving to drive down further on the beach where the tide isn't so rough to perform some boogie boarding experiments. Paige is apprehensive but relents when Toby promises to be careful and return Ralph in one piece.

After watching Toby drive off, Paige turns to Walter and states abruptly, "So, you wanted to talk."

Paige is staring intensely at Walter, causing the genius to lose his confidence. He looks towards the water, remembering his sister's words, and takes a deep breath before finally speaking. "Yes, I w-wanted to, uh, ap-pologize for how I behaved yesterday. I re-realize that I, umm, I h-hurt you and I am r-really sorry." Walter leans closer to Paige and grabs her hands. "Paige, I was sc-scared to t-tell you the truth about uh, my, uh…" Walter lets go of one of Paige's hands to quickly reach for Megan's note in his pocket. Taking her hands once more, he continues, determined to tell Paige the truth, "I was sc-scared to ad-admit to you that I uh….that the reason I was uh, a-apprehensive about moving things f-forward was t-that..." Walter's voice trails off and he looks down. "…I am i-ill equipped in knowing how to p-please you in the b-bedroom."

Paige's stern expression softens as Walter, still looking down, says, "The l-last time I was in that s-situation she left our romantic weekend after the first day, I as-sume that was because she wasn't very, uh, satisfied with me…"

Paige, struck by the innocence in Walter's voice, interrupts him by cupping his chin with her soft fingers. "Walter, please look at me." He eventually complies with her request and she kisses him lightly on the cheek where a rebellious trail of tears fell, despite Walter's valiant attempts to hold them back. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me the truth. I accept your apology," Paige responds softly. "Walter, I also owe you an apology. When we started our relationship, we agreed that we would wait until we both felt ready to take things to the next level, and I shouldn't have pushed you…" Paige starts to both tear up and laugh as she continues, "I only got so upset because when you wouldn't respond to my signals, I thought maybe you weren't attracted to me. It made me feel as embarrassed as I did when Drew cheated on me." Walter's eyes widen at this revelation. Paige makes sure to look him in the eye as she says, "Walter, I am so sorry. I know that it is unfair to compare you to Drew in any way. You have shown that you care for Ralph and me more than Drew ever did…."

Paige never even finishes her thoughts. Walter interrupts by taking her face with both of his hands and kissing her hard on the mouth, separating only when oxygen becomes necessary. The genius breathlessly and confidently responds, "Paige, you are beautiful. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known." He pauses a moment then captures her lips again for a passionate kiss. When they separate, Walter presses his forehead to Paige's and adds, "I am very attracted to you, Paige. It's my fault if I have done anything to indicate otherwise."

Walter and Paige spend the next few minutes making up with passionate kisses. Walter is the first to pull away, reaching in his bag and pulling out a small box and a card. Seeing the shocked expression on Paige's face, Walter assures her that he's not proposing, but has a gift he wants to give her.

Paige opens the box, revealing a ring on a necklace chain. "My father gave this necklace to my mother on their third date. My mother gave it to Megan when she left Ireland and came to Los Angeles. This is a Claddagh ring. It is a traditional Irish ring meant to symbolize love, friendship, and loyalty. I knew that I couldn't get through explaining verbally why I wanted to give it to you, so I spent a lot of time last night writing my thoughts in a card." Paige opened the note and read silently.

Friendship:

Paige, geniuses don't make friends easily because not many people understand how our minds work. You were patient enough to learn how my mind works and also help me to expand my way of thinking about things. I like spending time with you because you make me feel comfortable talking about anything. Thank you for never asking me to change and accepting me for who I am.

Love:

Paige, before you I never even considered the possibility of falling in love with someone. I still don't understand what love is exactly. I do know that before you, the thing that made me happy was doing experiments and solving problems. While I still like those things, I am happiest doing things that make you happy and seeing you smile. I would do almost anything just to see you smile. Also, I think about you all the time, and whenever you leave my presence, I instantly calculate how long it will be before I can see you again. I know you get mad when I take risks to save you and Ralph, but I have to because I can't imagine my life without you two. You and Ralph are the most important things in my life. I want to say "I love you," but I can't because I don't understand the concept, and I can't say something I don't understand, but I want you to know how important you are to me.

Loyalty:

Megan would say you are my soulmate. While that is not a concept that I accept, I am confident that there is no one on earth that has the same effect on me as you do. I know you have been hurt in relationships before, but I promise to try not to hurt you ever. I am sorry that I did yesterday.

Paige is crying happy tears by the time she finishes reading Walter's thoughts. Walter isn't always good at expressing how he feels verbally, but reading his eloquent words and thoughts on their relationship moves her to tears. She doesn't need Walter to tell her that he loves her; he shows her every day. Even before they started dating, he treated her and Ralph better than anyone ever had.

Walter has been looking at the water and thinking about Megan while Paige read the letter, so she softly calls his name to get his attention. He turns to face her and is immediately alarmed by her crying. Paige registers his alarm and smiles so he'll know they are tears of happiness. She can't even respond verbally to Walter's words, so she just leans forward and kisses him hard on the mouth. The momentum of the kiss pushes him backward onto the blanket, with Paige landing on top of him. Without even breaking the kiss, Walter turns them so that he is more or less on top of her. Eventually, the intensity of their kissing slows and they lay side by side, with Paige's head on Walter's chest. He places one hand under his head and the other around Paige's shoulders. She hadn't slept much the night before and is comfortable leaning against Walter, so they just rest in contented silence for a few minutes.

Paige is the first to speak. "Walter, thank you so much for giving me this family heirloom, and for what you said about me and our relationship. I want you to know that I am not going anywhere. We won't discuss the issue of taking our relationship to the next level until you are absolutely sure you're ready…" She turns to face him. "I know you worry about what my experience in the bedroom would be like, but you don't have to. Every single time you kiss me, my entire body responds…" She grabs Walter's hand and intertwines their fingers. "And just imagining your hands exploring every inch of me makes my body tingle…" Paige skims her fingers over his chest. "I can't wait to run my hands all over the muscles in your chest and arms that are always just out of reach under these button-down shirts…" She brings her lips to his ear and after nibbling and kissing it, she softly whispers, "Thinking of what you would feel like inside me sometimes keeps me up at night." Paige lightly strokes his jawline with her soft hands. "You have no idea how incredibly sexy you are, Walter O'Brien."

Walter gulps. No one has ever described him as sexy before. Walter wants to tell Paige he's changed his mind and is ready right now, but he still needs time to process everything. "Paige, I'm sorry for making you wait."

Paige smiles and mutters between light kisses, "It's okay. You need time to process everything. It's who you are. You never have to apologize to me for being who you are."

Walter and Paige stay on the blanket talking for a few minutes. He tells Paige about the letter and the video from Megan, and how it gave him the idea for the picnic at the beach. They both look silently at the water, Paige saying a small prayer to thank her friend and Walter smiling at fond memories of his sister. They agree that they'll spend more time at the beach together as a way to remember Megan.

Walter and Paige are cleaning up from the picnic when they hear the behaviourist's Monte Carlo pull up. Toby and Ralph both jump out of the car, and Ralph runs to ask his mother if they can go to the garage.

Walter pulls Toby to the side. "I will only say this once. Thank you."

Toby just smiles. "I'm glad you guys worked it out. We were gone a long time, did you…"

Walter interrupts curtly, "Don't push it, Toby"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following Friday, Paige was home cooking when there was a knock at the door. She smiled as she sauntered to the entrance, expecting Walter and Ralph for dinner. The three of them planned to have dinner together and Ralph had been working on his science project at the garage. However, she was alarmed to find Walter alone at her door and frantically asked if Ralph was okay. Walter quickly grabbed her arm to calm her and assured her that Ralph was safe at the garage with Toby and Sylvester. The genius took a deep breath and looked at Paige intensely, and with as much confidence as he could muster, stated, "I thought it would be better if it were just the two of us tonight."

Paige's face morphed into a wide smile as she realized what Walter was saying. "Are you sure?" she asked excitedly.

Walter never even answered, just kissed her passionately on the mouth. Paige pulled him into the apartment and he kicked the door closed behind him. Without separating, they stumbled as far as the couch. Walter fell backward and Paige straddled his hips, enthusiastically running her fingers through his hair. Walter was hesitantly tugging at Paige's shirt, but Paige's moaning encouraged the genius to continue. They were both enjoying their exploration of each other when the shriek of the smoke detector interrupted them. Paige jumped up and turned off the long forgotten pots on the stove. Walter went to turn on the exhaust above the stove, and fanned the detector to dissipate the smoke. The smoke finally cleared and the alarm stopped.

Paige could see the disappointed look on Walter's face. She kissed him on his jawline and whispered in his ear, "Everything is under control, no need to let it ruin our evening." She took his hand and led him the short distance to her bedroom where they resumed what they started.

Hours later, Walter and Paige, both satisfied and breathless, laid tangled together in a mess of sheets. She looked up at him and smiled. "So, are you still worried about being able to please me?"

Walter stuttered with a grin, "N-no, now I am just worried about the looks I will get from your neighbours. I am certain that given how thin these walls are, at least a few of them heard you."

Both burst into laughter before settling into a contented sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCORPION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I do not own Scorpion or any of its characters, CBS owns Scorpion and all of its characters

Special Thanks to my betareader: lookingforthestars.

I hope everyone enjoyed a Happy Thanksgiving weekend.

Summary: Just a one-shot reaction to the last episode. It's based on the show canon, but slightly modified.

Graduation Day: A few people have asked if the story is completed. Graduation Day is not completed. However, with my grandfather still in the hospital, I have not had the time to focus on it. There are about three chapters left, and I plan to have the entire thing done by Christmas.

Gallic Phrases according to Google Translator: Deartháir óger (Baby Brother or Little Brother), Bhiodh me in ngra leat go deo (I will always love you)

Story Soundtrack: I always listen to music when I write, from now on, I will include any songs that are particularly influential to the story. The vibe of this story (particularly emotional Walter) was influenced by: "Teach Me" (Musiq Soulchild), "On Bended Knee" (Boyz II Men), "How Do You Mend a Broken Heart" (Al Green), "Cause I Love You" (Lenny Williams)