Remus stared hard at her. The way her hair cascaded down her neckline, the bright strands of purple meshing perfectly with her pale skin. He had an urge to reach out to her, to place a hand upon her flushed cheek but he knew better. Remus saw it in the woman's eyes, something new was going on here. Tonks took a moment to pace around the living room of her parent's house. She could hear her mother bustling around in the kitchen and Tonks managed to blink rapidly. Her cheeks were red as the snow from outside beat fiercely on the window, leaving a heavy ledge of powdery white along the pane. Tonks brought in a breath before her large eyes focused in on the love of her life. He was watching her, obviously worried. An expression Tonks remembered fondly. If Remus Lupin wasn't busy worrying about something, he was either asleep or in one of his fits of forgetfulness. The silence continued to grow between them. Uncomfortable and tense. Remus slipped his hands into his pockets, the heavy wool of his pants scratching unpleasantly along his palms as he took a quick glance over his shoulder. As much as he loved Andromeda, she had the increasingly bad habit of walking in at the most inappropriate times. Watching his wife run a hole through the carpet, he swallowed heavily. Taking an unsure and nervous step forward, his voice was rough, but riddled with worry. "Dora…" he began, unsure of himself.
"I am getting to it Remus, I promise." A flash of a sickly sweet smile surpassed her full lips before she clasped her hands together in front of herself. Stopping now. She wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell him the moment she was positive, but while being completely positive he would never take this well, she couldn't help but worry. Worry about his wellbeing, his decisions, his reaction. Tonks only needed a few seconds after her words to see his reaction. His eyes betrayed everything and she forced herself to mentally prepare for it. Slamming her eyes shut, threatening tears not to fall, Tonks drew in a breath. The moment of truth, and clarity. "Remus.." Tonks stopped herself, forcing her eyes back open before going towards him swiftly. Her pale hands found his face and she cupped his cheeks softly. Her hands were trembling and she mentally cursed herself for this moment of weakness. Of uncertainty. "Remus, I'm….well, I'm pregnant."
The words almost came out in a whisper and Tonks wasn't sure if Remus had even heard them, but the moment his eyes lit up, almost like a swelling pride, it disappeared, and heavy worry and guilt glazed over his initial reaction. Tonks threw on a smile as she shook her head, pretending there were happy tears splaying over her cheeks. Remus heard the news perfectly clear, almost too clear. He stood stock still, allowing the woman to place her warm hands upon his face. He found comfort in the touch, but far too much worry in the words. Pregnant? Did he just doom Tonks for life? Did he unfairly and suddenly ruin two lives? The hurt panged his chest and thumped in his ears. His soft blue eyes crinkled as he closed them, a hand sliding from his pocket and raising easily up to her hand. Taking a long moment to swallow, Remus shook his head. "Oh, Dora…" The simple words were meant to comfort but Remus felt Tonks shiver in front of him. He knew she caught the underlined meaning. He could never find it in himself to try too hard to lie to her.
"I'm so sorry, Dora." It was the only words he could utter. His hand fell from hers and he tore from her. This is when the fight was going to begin, he knew and he anticipated it. Tonks was too hot headed, too naïve to see what he had done. Tonks moved from him as he turned his head out of her hands. "Do not say that Remus! Don't say that about me or our child…you cannot simply be sorry about this! It's amazing, it's fantastic, on top of it all, it's something you should be PROUD of!" Now her anger was getting the best of her. The heat that had risen to her cheeks spread throughout her body. She didn't understand his outspoken reaction. How could he take such perfect news so badly? Throwing up her arms, she whirled on her heel, making her way to the window and grasping onto the cool windowpane, her eyes focusing on the heavy snow drift outside. Remus looked back at her as she moved, calculating her steps. This was not how he had meant for this to go. For her to be angered so quickly, but now he could not backtrack. Could not stop his feelings from getting the best of him. "Dora, you know this is not the best time. With the war, and so many Order members in hiding…what if the Death Eaters were to hear of this? How am I supposed to be calm with a wanted pregnant wife? What do you think I'd be able to do if something happened?"
Tonks drew in several deep breaths. She hated when they fought. Hated how much of a child he made her seem. With her outbursts and screaming matched against his factual and calm conversation, it was like an adult arguing with a child, and she was pretty sure he could sense the similarity as well. Just another hurdle she was prepared to overcome for him. Whirling back on her heel, she followed him with her eyes before she shook her head. "There isn't a need to worry about me! There isn't a need to worry about us! Do you honestly think I'd do anything to put this child in danger?" Remus couldn't help but shake his head, his sad blue orbs found Tonks' and he sighed. "You don't always think before your actions, Nymphadora." Tonks flinched heavily with his words and she groaned out loud. Slamming her hands down on top of her thighs, her head shook vigorously. "Don't. Just….don't…." Her eyes swelled with tears that she refused to shed as she turned to face her husband face on, her eyes rimmed with red and a lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow away. "Do, you even WANT this baby, Remus?" The words hit Remus like a ton of bricks. Of course he did, at least, he thought he did. Just the idea of having a child now, in this society, in this time. He had already out casted Tonks, why did he feel it was alright to do it to his unborn child now? The guilt ebbed away at his consciousness as he glanced at Tonks. His eyes glassed over, preparing himself to look at her.
She was always breathtakingly beautiful, even with sadness etched along her features, but right now staring at her was almost unbearable. Remus took a long moment before he bowed his head, shaking it slightly. "This is not the best time for this conversation, your mother will be in any moment and it's probably a good idea to get you into bed. Rest." His throat swelled fiercely as his hands released themselves once more from his pockets and moved out towards Tonks. The woman edged just out of his reach, shaking her head, her eyes found his face as she grit her teeth, voice low. "Let's hope when you stop running from your life, Remus…that there will be a life still waiting for you." Snapping out, she turned on her heel, leaving the werewolf alone in the living room, the sound of her echoing footsteps fading in his ears as he collapsed on the chair, defeated.