The End of the Tunnel
SUMMARY: "People like Nikita and Owen don't deserve nice…which was probably why they deserve each other." Takes place after episode 18, Into the Dark. Implied Nikita-Michael. Hints of Nikita-Owen.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My first fanfic! Please feel free to leave me reviews so I know how to improve my writing. Thanks.
Oh, and this all takes place in Nikita's head. I've always imagined her to be the meticulous type, always over-analyzing things.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Nikita, but if I did, I would definitely give Owen a starring role. Guy deserves it.
The weather sucks. Yes, that must be it. It's the weather. Her bad mood has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she had just left Owen to fend for himself, all alone in London. And those clutching cramps she feels in her abdomen? Definitely not guilt. It's most likely dear Mother Nature warning Nikita of her impending period.
Owen is a jerk. That serious look in his eyes when he apologized to her about Daniel was all a ploy. Either he was practicing the fine art of lying or he just wanted to get in her pants. After all, he probably hadn't been with a girl since…Emily.
Ahhh…Emily. Poor girl. She seemed so nice, too. Unfortunately, people like Nikita and Owen don't deserve nice. They weren't worthy of anything that possessed the capability to bring them happiness. Which was probably why they deserved each other.
No. Those were dangerous thoughts. She had Michael, whom she loved. Michael was the only one she wanted. Owen was just…an ally at best. A partner in crime; a friend. Well, even that was pushing it.
But, those eyes…the remorse was almost palpable, so nearly tangible that on impulse, Nikita reached out and hugged Owen. "Consequences be damned!", or so she kept saying to herself. That was possibly not the greatest thing to do. She should have just let it go and walk away. Put up her mask of icy indifference and show no weaknesses, no chinks in her armor. But of course she just had to go and encourage that sort of amicable behaviour. When it came to Owen, she could never let it go and walk away. There was something about him that seemed all too genuine in a world where lying kept you alive.
And their hug? It was platonic. There was absolutely no romantic atmosphere; it was a hug between sometimes-allies who had a nasty habit of occasionally wanting to kill one another. The way his hand strayed a little too far south was a result of his obviously hormone-fuelled brain. Besides, it was an awful hug. Nikita did not feel comfortable or warm or safe at all. No, no, no. She only felt that way with Michael. But, Owen had a nicer build, she'll give him that.
Oh, shut up little-voice-inside-her-head. She shouldn't even be considering other men when she had amazing Michael. Who said anything about considering? There was nothing to consider. Owen can never measure up to Michael. Michael is just so serious and persistent. Owen, on the other hand, is too much of a joker and he never thinks before he acts. Michael is meticulous and mature. Owen has the mind of a 16-year-old male and he's absolutely careless. Michael always plans ahead so he can anticipate anything. Owen refuses to think beyond two minutes into the future, preferring to "live in the moment." Obviously, Michael is the better choice. Obviously.
However, Owen did admit that he was in the wrong. Even Michael couldn't do that. When it came to Michael, it was his way or the highway. Owen had faith in Nikita and trusted her to accomplish whatever she set her mind to.
Maybe, in some tiny, irrational part of her brain, Owen was the better choice. In some twisted way, he did choose her over Division no matter how simplistic he insisted his motives were (killing Percy to avenge Emily, stealing the black boxes to "educate the innocents"). Michael could never fully commit himself to her. In spite of the fact that Division killed his family, Michael still clung to them. Perhaps he held onto the ideal that Division could do good deeds, could be an asset to the country. Maybe, even darker still, he was afraid of going up against what he feared the most.
Nevertheless, Nikita still has no idea why she had even begun to compare the two men. She cannot fathom how a simple, but sososo difficult apology could bring forth an onslaught of thought that put Michael in such a negative light.
She remembers Michael's look of determination and the desire in his eyes and there's absolutely no way that she can deny their seemingly inevitable pull. Then, she sees Owen's smile and his frightened, hopeless look. One, she wants to cherish forever and the other is enough to make her want to journey back to London and stay with him so he'll never make that expression again.
Michael is her Juliet (because in this day and age, gender roles don't apply); he is the person she feels a spark with at the very beginning, the person she's willing to die for. Owen is her Rosaline, her biggest what-if? and the one she completely disregarded the moment Juliet came along.
Now Nikita is confused entirely so she stops overanalyzing everything. Owen is just an ally. Michael is the (new) love of her life.
If she's so sure, then why does she need to keep convincing herself?
She looks outside. The weather still sucks and she's still confused.
-fin-
Reviews are greatly appreciated!