Disclaimer: I do not own any character besides Gerard.

Title: S

Rating: M, for much implied sex, gratuitous language, and minimal violence.

Pairing: Severus Snape & OC

Genre: Romance/General

A is for Astrobolism

Breasts. Yes, that was it. It was all breasts. All her fault. Her and her delicious bosom that taunted him daily. It was all her fault, though exactly what was her fault he could not have said until then, when it came to him as he sat at his desk watching his students work. One student in particular. For quite some time he had been aware that it was all her fault, it was so much easier to just blame all the things wrong in his life on the young girl. Everything that happened to him was as a result, be it direct or indirect, of her presence in the universe. It had gotten to the point that he began to asininely blame her of things that had happened to him before she had even arrived.

But he did enjoy loathing her, so, so much more than he enjoyed her breasts. And truly that was an accomplishment, for he so loved to see those mounds of flesh greet him at the beginning of class. Really, did they have to bounce like that? So enticing and hypnotic, begging to be grabbed and squeezed and covered with delicious edible things to be licked away. There had to be some rule against her clothes fitting so that loose as they were around her stomach, the fabric pulled achingly tight across her chest. A sudden tightness within other fabrics brought him to his senses.

She was his student. His student. There may not have been a rule against her clothing, but there was definitely a rule against the thoughts he was having. Amongst the teachers there was really only one rule that absolutely had to be followed and that was to never get involved with a student.

And really…he was not a man to be won over by looks, and really – besides breasts – she didn't have much going for her. Her hair was frizzy and wild, could neither be called blonde nor brown, and "premature" did not begin to describe how early her hair was turning grey. For Heaven's sake she was only fifteen. Her shoulder's were far too broad to be at all feminine and her feet were almost as large as his, despite being over half a foot in their height differences. Even though her clothes were loose she was rather plump and round and her face was usually a little flushed. Honestly, the only things she had that could make him as weak as her chest did were her eyes. He could drown in them.

He stood from his chair and moved around his desk. He strode around the classroom making a snide remark here and there, round-tripping to where he really intended to be. He did not stand in front of her, but to her right. She always sat next to the same boy. He knew that they were friends, but were they friends? Hadn't he heard McGonagall saying something about a "cute" couple?

"Mr. Weasley, what do you think you're doing?" Severus noted, with some degrees of surprise, that indeed Mr. Weasley was doing something. There was a scrap of parchment in Weasley's hand under the desk as he half-tried to hide it. Blue ink glittered on the parchment. Only one student used that obnoxious ink. "Miss Gerard what do you have to do with this?"

"What do I have to do with what, Professor?" She glanced up from her own paper, her mouth slightly open after she finished speaking. Severus almost avoided her eyes, giving them only the briefest glance. It was a mistake because even when he looked away he could feel those blue-grey eyes upon him. He snatched the paper from Weasley's hands and waved it in front of her face before bringing it to himself. He scanned the glittering words. His breath hitched in his throat. Those words, so vile, so vulgar… God how he wished it was true. A few words seemed burned against his eyes and he blinked several times in an attempt to make them go away, but it was useless. He forced himself to look away from the parchment that so held his attention.

"Miss Gerard, I do not want to know the meaning of this," he lied. "You and Mr. Weasley will meet me after class to discuss your detentions."

~S~

It was eight thirty. Eight thirty! Where the hell was Gerard? He had expressly told her that she was to be at his dungeon room at precisely eight o'clock, and that she should be prepared to clean everything in his sight, without magic. She wasn't a troublemaker. She always did what her professors told her to do, more or less. And on top of that, she did it well. There was only one class that she wasn't excellent in and that was divination. That he understood all to well. Trewlaney drove him up the wall.

But where the hell was Gerard?

A knock came at his door then and annoyed he said nothing for several moments. Another knock arose from the damp wood. He signed and stood. He moved around his desk and stepped lightly across the floor. He opened the door and looked down at the arched eyebrow below him. Gerard stood with her arms crossed and her chest puffed out, her back straight. Most of her hair was tied back but one frizzy, stray, curl fell in front of her left eye. How he wanted to push away that curl and kiss that impertinent smile right off her face. He found that he was already leaning over her. He caught himself and stood up straighter. They stared at each other for several moments. As Gerard's lips began to pull up in what he took to be a menacing manor he decided that it would be best if he invited her in… Or ordered her, either would do.

"In, Gerard," he ordered. She pushed past him both of them barely fitting in the door frame. She plunked her bag down on the desk that sat in front of his. Why did she always have to sit there? "Gerard, you are half an hour late."

"Yeah, I am. I apologize, Professor; I was a bit preoccupied with the homework you assigned."

"Then perhaps you should have behaved better in class. Had you done so you would neither have a detention nor be too ignorant to understand the work I assigned."

"No matter how much attention I pay, four and a half feet is still four and a half feet. Oh, and by the way," she added as she turned back to him, "I was paying attention. If you paid attention to your students then you would know that."

"Gerard! You will not speak to me with such an insolent tone. And I remind you – you are in detention. A detention which will already be extended one hour as to the previous arrangement." He could almost hear her grit her teeth. She's always doing that, he thought. She always bites back her words. Especially around me. He sucked in a breath. If she could hold back her words then so could he. Finally he felt he could control his tongue and he spoke. "For your detention you will be cleaning-"

"Everything in your line of sight, I remember."

"Start with the cabinets."

~S~

About an hour or so later Severus let out a tired sigh. He had spent the last hour attempting to grade papers, while in all actuality he had spent much more of the time sneaking glances at Gerard as she scrubbed and scrubbed at stains older that the both of them combined. She was a hard worker and she hadn't complained once about not being allowed to use magic, though truthfully, most muggle-borns didn't.

"That's enough Gerard. That spot has been on this Earth longer than either of us." She stopped scrubbing at it slowly, giving a last ditched attempt at smiting the stain. She turned towards the front of the classroom.

"There is still an hour left, Professor. What would you like me to do?" Fuck me, he thought. Right now. On the desk.

But instead, he said, "Just sit down and finish your homework. Stay silent." Looking a little surprised, she walked to her bag and moved it off the seat so that she could sit down. She pulled out a piece of parchment and began to scratch away at it. Severus lost himself in watching her breasts move up and down with her slow, easy breathing, the way they shook when her arms made wild flourishes.

If he wasn't mistaken, at times she looked at him, with that calculating look she sometimes got. He never understood why she looked at people that way. But then after just a short while, he was quite certain that she had fallen asleep.

~S~

It was long past ten thirty by the time he decided she should head back to her common room. He had completely abandoned his work once he was sure that she was asleep and simply watched her. He allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to have that round form asleep next to him – hopefully after several hours of other bed related endeavors. He could imagine things, couldn't he? It wasn't as if he would ever really see her in a beautiful afterglow, huddling up beside him in a dream state.

How he longed to go and move her to his bed, if just for the feel of her body pressed against his, her warm breath on his face. He wanted so boldly to simply stroke her face, to have her stir and look up at him the same way he now looked at her.

But of course, he sighed, that could never be.

He stood and moved over to stand beside her desk. She made a small sound in her sleep, a deep, unconscious statement of awareness with an almost primal growl behind it. His mind raced briefly with other instances in which she would make such a sound. He reached out his hand to wake her –

And stopped abruptly. What was that she was sleeping on? That parchment… that wasn't writing on it. It was a picture. Slowly he placed his hand on one side of the image. He slid it out from under her and pilled it to about an inch from his face.

It was him.

He didn't even need to look at the intricate lettering on the corner which she had been sleeping on. It was so obviously him despite all logic telling him that it couldn't possibly be. His mind once again raced. Why would she draw him? What had possessed her? Didn't she hate him? And other things that were harder to form into words, simply ending up like the half-formed sounds of a dumb animal.

He glanced back and forth between Gerard and the paper. He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. He quickly shoved the parchment into his robes. It was too dangerous to ponder this while she was sleeping in front of him. He reached out his hand briefly and with a single finger followed a curl in her hair, then poked her sharply.

"Ughnnn…mghn…Wha?" She shook herself and looked up at him with tired eyes. "Mmgha?"

"Gerard it is time for you to return to your common room," Severus almost whispered to her. She looked up at him confusedly. He was about to repeat himself when she tried to stand up. She wobbled as her feet caught simultaneously on the desk and stool and she fell against him heavily. For the first time he felt her formidable chest come into contact with him. In the few moments that they were connected it seemed as though his entire being was focused into the parts of his body that could feel her steady heart beat and slow breathing. Hesitantly, tenderly he took her arms and pushed her back to her feet. She yawned loudly and picked up her bag. Without a word she moved past him and left the classroom.

He shakily let out his breath and collapsed into the chair that Gerard had just vacated. He would just as readily have fallen to the ground. Before he completely got his breath back he pulled out the parchment and began to study it. He noticed, despite his rather oxygen deprived condition, that there were little hearts everywhere, especially around his name. He began to think, which was probably a mistake. A long internal argument subsequently followed.

She drew a picture of me.

You know what that means.

What does that mean?

She loves you.

She's my student!

So what? She loves you!

She's only fifteen.

You were in love at fifteen.

But not with my professor! And… Lily was different. Besides that I'm not in love with Gerard!

Of course you aren't.

No.

Exactly.

So we agree?

Yes. You don't love her; you just want her to fuck you on your desk.

Well I am human.

So what's the problem? She obviously wants you.

No she doesn't! She can't… we shouldn't…

But you can't deny that you want to.

~S~

"Give me my picture back."

"What?"

"Give me my picture back."

"Gerard, I–"

"Skip the bullshit, Professor. Just give me back my God-damn picture!"

Severus stayed seated at his desk. He should have known that Gerard would come back – Hell, he had known she'd come back. She was smart enough to know that the picture she knew he had would change everything. How could it not? Any hope for a normal student teacher relationship was ruined the moment he found it. He had been kept awake all night by visions of her, memories, thoughts that swirled through the eddies of his mind. The first time he saw her, the first time he had heard her story, the first time she had spoken to him not as a teacher…That time in her third year. And now she stood little more than half a classroom away from him, and it seemed like miles.

"Miss Gerard –"

"Professor, give –"

"Enough, Gerard," he said levelly. She stopped in her tracks, her determination halted. She clutched her bag to her chest.

"Please Professor…if you just give it to me, it can all go away… it just… I'll never bother you again…" Severus stood up and moved to stand next to his desk. He could feel the curled parchment under his robes move and unfold. He pulled his chest in, he wasn't really breathing much anyway.

"Gerard, that's enough. You and I both know this can't go away. Something has to be done about this. Th–"

"But what can we do?"she spat out. "Neither of us wants anyone to know about this! And neither of us can or will leave." Severus' temper rose as her voice did. Discretely he silenced the classroom. He hoped no one had heard her already.

"Well, then while you are here, we should figure out what we can do. I have never known you to give up so quickly." Severus gave one last attempt to keep his temper down, hoping that Gerard would do the same. For a while neither of them said anything.

"Well, what do you think we should do?" Gerard defended. She looked him straight in the eye and Severus couldn't help but look back. His mind again went blank and he lost his breath. How was it possible that her eyes could look so much like the lake? He looked at her and felt as if he were struggling to surface, as though he was drowning. He looked away. He never wanted to see those eyes again.

"It depends. How long has this been going on?"

"Two years," she replied without pause.

"So it isn't something that you expect to end soon?" Gerard looked thoughtful for a moment. Severus' own questions were making him nervous. How did he want her to respond?

"No. I don't think so. I've never been in love this long before." That had caught him off guard. She had said it. She had actually said it. What was he supposed to do? What should he say? How could she love him? No one had ever done that before.

When he came to this his mind stopped. No one had ever loved him before. Why should he care if this girl did now? She wasn't Lily, she didn't matter.

"If that is the case then I don't feel it would be appropriate for you to take Potions again after this year."

"No way in hell is that your decision! I need to take potions to do my work. If I don't then that will change the rest of my life. That is not for you to decide." Gerard stomped toward him. He hadn't remembered that she had a future to think about. How could he have no idea what she wanted to be? But still…

"You may not feel responsible enough to take care of this, but I do!" Severus spat back at her.

"Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy! I gave you an out!" Gerard yelled at him. They stood right in front of each other now.

"Don't you dare pretend to be innocent!"

"Well excuse me! You think I asked to fall in love with you? I didn't mean to hit you over the head with this!"

"Stop saying that! You know nothing of love! Do you honestly think this is it?"

"Yeah, I do!" Gerard said as she jabbed him in the chest.

"Why? Because you feel all tingly when the big bad teacher gives you a detention? That is nothing like love!"

"That's not –"

"If you think that I could ever do anything but love you, then you're delusional!" Severus cut her off, he had finally gained the upper hand.

"You and I both know that that is bullshit. You don't hate me, no matter how hard you try," she said suddenly calm. Severus plowed ahead.

"Stop fooling yourself Gerard! I don't –" But he was caught off abruptly as she kissed him. It was so sudden that he forgot to close his eyes. She had.

Just as soon as her lips had come they left. It hadn't been hot or sexual, but something inside him stirred. It had been so sweet like… like… Like a wife would give her husband. A kiss that promised a life time of other kisses.

Severus needed to feel that again.

He realized that he had been starring at her and that she had been starring back. For the first time that night she lowered her gaze and he knew that she would leave unless he did something right then. She turned, almost, and from that small motion, Severus reacted on instinct. He grabbed her shoulders harshly and pulled her back to him. He forced his lips onto hers, though he hadn't meant to do it so hard. She held stiff in his arms for a moment in his grip and he thought that anytime soon she would surely start to struggle. But instead, once the shock wore off… She kissed him back. He loosened his grip on her and his hands moved up to cup her face and tilt it up to allow him more access to her mouth. He tried to soften his touch a little, but wherever he let up, Gerard took over with more force than he had. She reached her hands up and dug one of her hands into his hair and pushed on the back of his head. The other hand cupping the side of his face. Her hands were so warm, he was sure that his must have been like ice.

The kiss deepened. Their tongues were entwined, fighting to gain control. She met him point for point, match for match. Severus was glad; he had no idea what he would do if he really won. He was entranced by the challenge of just how close together they could get. He could feel her breasts as they strained against her bra and one of his hands had moved down to her ass. He was using the leverage to grind his erection into her stomach.

Finally he decided that he could never attain dominance like that. Through half lidded eyes he looked around for what he needed. There, that was it! He pushed her up against the nearest desk. He towered over her as she bent backward and he removed his hands from their delightful places, pinning her between his arms. Still she matched him though. They battled for a short while longer before his mind became too starved for oxygen to continue. He pulled his head back until it was out of her reach and Gerard seemed to get the hint, as she soon rested her head against his chest. Severus walked his hands back up along the desk so that their torsos were no longer glued together and his chest cavity finally expanded. He let his head hang back down so that it rested on Gerard's shoulder. They bother took long shuddering breaths.

And it all ended.

As Severus' head cleared he became acutely aware of several thighs. The first was that he was twenty-eight years of age. The second was that Gerard was fifteen years old. The third was his raging hard on which was straining against his trousers and poking Gerard in the stomach. He stepped back abruptly. What had he just done? What would he do now?

But it seemed as though Gerard had already made up that decision for him. As he stood there dumbly she was moving, but not towards him. She walked towards the front of the classroom. She grabbed her bag from the floor. He hadn't noticed that she'd dropped it.

"I should be getting back to my dorm now. You alright?" Gerard said as she looked over her shoulder at him. She was so calm, just like she always was. How could she do that? When Severus didn't say anything back she walked up to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently, rubbing her thumb back and forth over his deltoid. "Are you alright?" She looked him deep in the eyes. She should know by now that he couldn't speak when she did that. She smiled honestly and stretched up to kiss him on the cheek just as beautifully as she had the first time.

"Sweet dreams, S." And then she turned and walked out of the room.