Convalesce
by Palatyne
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The original characters, story and plot belong to Masashi Kishimoto, Shounen Jump, Shueisha, English editions to Viz Media, the anime to Studio Pierrot et. al.
Author's Note: Written for SasuSaku Month (Week 2: Chance Meetings – Day 12: Scent). I'm not really sure about this story, where it will go or if it will continue at all. Still, your reviews and any feedback will be much appreciated.
Convalesce
by Palatyne
For a moment all that would register in her mind was the smell the oranges, the familiar sharp scent wafting around the room as the fruits fell from the overturned bowl on her lap and onto the floor.
She didn't know what surprised her more, the fact that he was already awake or the fact that he should greet her with what could possibly be the most ridiculous question he had ever asked her.
"Are we lovers?" He asked her again. Perhaps thinking she did not hear him the first time.
Now she could only stare at him in shock, her lips sealed shut by the absurdity of his words, the oranges still rolling away on the hospital floor.
He was staring at her, his face as calm as ever, though she saw his brows furrowing slightly – whether in irritation or confusion, she did not know. Perhaps he now sensed her distress, if he somehow did not notice how she had practically dropped the bowl of fruit in astonishment.
But she should not have been so surprised. She was told to expect the unexpected, that his condition worked in strange and unpredictable ways. What was truly surprising was the fact that he was sitting right in front of her, alive and nearly in perfect health – apart from the fact that his mind had been wiped clean of his memories.
No, it was not right to think of his memories as having been completely lost. They were warned that the memories were still there, somewhere in the chaos of his mind, simply sealed in by his own body to protect him – to spare him more trauma and pain, after all that he had already endured.
The memories could resurface and there was no way to predict what he would do then, how he would react to being back in the village he hated so much. The village where he was now more a prisoner than a patient, with complex seals placed on his body to limit his chakra consequently slowing down his recovery.
But even his recovery was begrudged by those who could never forgive him his crimes, who resented his being treated so leniently. They thought little of what he did during the war, of how in the last moments his actions had turned the battle into the Alliance's favor. They suspected his sacrifice was nothing but a ploy to inveigle himself out of a life of imprisonment. Others thought it was simply the unintended consequence of his hate-driven insanity.
"Sakura." His voice broke into her thoughts.
It was strange, hearing him say her name again. Even when he had tried to hurt her, even when he tried to kill her, he had always called her by her given name, free of honorifics. He was like that to everyone. Others have called it arrogance, others dismissed it as plain rudeness.
But somehow she felt closer to him because of it.
"Gomen. I was just a little surprised." She rose from the chair, setting the bowl on the bedside table. One by one she picked up the fruits that had scattered themselves on the floor, buying time to compose herself.
She had decided to buy oranges from the fruit-seller, even as she saw the apples gleaming red in the sunlit stall.
"We're not lovers, far from it. We're just teammates." She replied after a long pause, gathering the last fallen fruit and placing them back into bowl. Her hand lingered at the edge of the table, her body not knowing where to go, where to look.
"That man, Kakashi , told me we were lovers. Why would he lie?" He asked, an edge of genuine confusion in his voice.
So it was Kakashi-sensei. She felt her anger rising. It was infantile, absolutely childish of him to play such a prank – but it was not beneath him. She would have words with him later, and perhaps a punch or two.
"I don't think he meant to. Perhaps he thought it would be a good joke."
"Why would he joke about something like that?"
It was a good question, one that she would ask their sensei herself – if he could still manage to talk after she was done with him.
She suddenly felt exhausted, tired of all that had happened, tired of the strange games that the people around her seemed to be playing – tired of wondering what it was they hoped to accomplish.
Perhaps she should just answer him trutfully, for he would know one way or another. Whether it was another one of their sense's pranks, a slip of tongue from Naruto, teasing from Ino or the others, a knowing glance cast her way from the other medical-nin.
She moved away from the table and slowly sat on the edge of his bed, facing away from him.
"I've had a crush on you since we were genin and I…"
But the next words were caught in her lips. It was not the first time she would speak of her feelings to him, but there was nothing easy about what she was about to tell him.
It had never been easy.
"I have loved you ever since." She all but whispered.
As always, she felt her chest tighten ever so slightly as she spoke the words .
She wondered if it would always be so, that after all that had passed between them and all that had happened in the world since the day he had left her, that her love for him would always be mingled with pain and a sense of loss.
"What about me?" He spoke again after a long while.
"What do you mean?" She asked, not bothering to hide her confusion.
"What do I feel about you?"
He asked the question quietly, so earnestly that she had to remind herself once more that in many ways the man she was talking to was a different man, that in many ways he was not the Sasuke she knew.
Here was a man devoid of all the horrific memories that had scarred his young life, the memories of death, pain and loss that had driven him to gamble away his body and mind for revenge until he was nothing but a vessel of hatred, the perfect tool for those who sought to destroy their world.
What did he feel about her?
She had asked herself that very question hundreds of times before – and she had lost count of the many times the question and the answers her mind wrought, filled her with nothing but despair.
Now here he was, asking her so intently a question she had never known and will probably never know the answer to.
"I don't know." It was the most honest answer she could give him.
"I see."
There was a long moment of silence. She was not expecting anything. She had confessed to him before and received nothing but his thanks in reply. She expected nothing from him now.
"I should go now –"
"Kakashi said you would lie." He cut in then, the accusation delivered so bluntly that it was few seconds before she realized what he had just said.
Lie.
Of all the things he could accuse her of, of all the things he had ever told her, of all the things that she had to endure all the years she had loved him, this was by far the worse.
She had only lied to him once, atop the bridge in the Land of Iron, when she declared to him that she would follow him. That she would do anything for him, leave her friends and family, betray and even destroy the Hidden Leaf.
And she had regretted every moment of that day.
She turned to him then, whirling around so fast she felt her hair whipping around her.
But before she can speak, before she can scream at him in anger, his hand caught her arm, pulling her towards the bed, towards him – so close that she felt his warm breath on her skin.
Then swiftly his lips were upon hers, pulling her into a searing kiss.
The moment their lips met, she felt as if her heart had stopped and her mind had fallen into stillness, both unable to fathom what was happening
Yet her senses were alive. She could feel of the warmth radiating from his body, the feel of his hand around her arm like a brand upon her skin – and his lips on hers, gentle but urgent, seeking something, wanting more.
Then she felt the hand or her arm move upward, snaking up her shoulders, onto her neck and tangling fingers into her hair, pressing her closer to him.
She found herself unresisting, reason leaving her and allowing her body to mold with his, she parted her lips, surrendering to the gentle urging of his own.
Then just as swiftly as it began it ended, his lips brushing her lips gently before moving away.
Now she could stare at him, eyes wide, her face undoubtedly flushed, of a shade not so different from her own pink hair, her heart racing wildly.
He too was looking at her, his demeanor absolutely composed – save for the intensity of his gaze upon her.
"If you won't tell me, then I will find out for myself." His voice was determined, his dark eyes piercing hers.
She felt the anger that had slowly been simmering within her suddenly rise.
What did he want to know?
That he hated her, that he had wanted to kill her and that he would have succeeded if not for Kakashi-sensei and Naruto? Did he want her to tell him that he felt nothing for her but contempt, that she was so far beneath his notice that he could kill her without the slightest hesitation?
"You hate me. That's what you feel." She all but hissed.
"Yet you kissed me back."
Her brows knitted in anger, her eyes turning into molten emeralds, a retort ready on her lips.
But as she did so she saw that he was smiling at her.
No, he was smirking – the arrogant, half-amused smirk she had seen so many times before.
The expression was so familiar, a shard of memory that pierced her heart – cooling her anger but leaving all other emotions then in disarray.
She knew than she needed to get away.
"I'm leaving."
She rose from the bed then, turning away from him and headed for the door.
She thought she heard him call out her name as the door slammed behind her.
But for the first time in her life, she ignored him and simply walked away.