All I Want for Christmas
Disclaimer: I... don't own anything. Not _Bend it Like Beckham_. I rented that. I rented the song "All I Want for Christmas (is my Two Front Teeth)" because I had no clue what to name this fic. Don't even own the journal format that I decided to write this in. Rented that too. I don't own the plot, (That's Cypher's) and definitely don't own X-men: Evolution or any related characters.
Dedication: I dedicate this to you, Cypher. Yeah, you're the only one who's probably reading this right now, but just in case, everyone else should know this is my Christmas gift to Cypher that I managed to finish just in time.
12/17/03
I've never been quite sure about relationships. I mean, I flirt with Jubes. I flirt a lot with her. She probably thinks I'm going to ask her on a date sometime soon. But really, I just kind of see her as just a friend. I'm not even planning on getting her anything personal for Christmas, maybe a book, or a good CD she's been wanting.
The scary thing is that I do have a crush... but I don't even know if they could possibly like me back. You see, I've been goofing off with Kurt for the longest time, ever since I came here. I think I know him pretty well. He's dating this really nice girl, Amanda. Heck, even I'd date her, and I don't swing that way. At least, I think I don't swing that way. But sometimes, I see Kurt looking at Scott with this look, like he really wouldn't mind dumping Amanda if Scott turned around to him and asked him on a date.
So, yeah. I've got this little crush on Kurt Wagner. He always says, "Chicks dig ze fuzzy dude." What he doesn't quite get yet is that dudes also dig the fuzzy dude. I've even had a chat with Roberto, and he admits that he wouldn't mind getting Kurt stuck in a corner.
Yup, 'Berto and Bobby, the two gay dudes of the institute. We're about as opposite as we can get, and I really don't want to date someone who really... never talks... And he told me that he couldn't stand dating me. But we're still pretty good friends. Maybe the gay thing has something to do with the name Robert?
Nah!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Kurt. How could I forget?
So, here I am crushing on a mostly-straight guy. Those little glances he throws at Scott do give me a tiny bit of hope, though. I've talked it over with 'Berto, and he says I should corner the boy right after another of those "looks". Easy enough, except now I have to catch him giving one of those looks.
12/20/03
Well, I've done it! Finally caught him giving one of those looks to Scott, and dragged him into a corner before he could change his mind.
"Kurt, what's with you and Scott?" I hissed. Yeah. I'm really good at beating around the bush.
"I don't have any idea what you mean, Bobby!"
"You were looking at him!"
"That's normal! He was giving orders!" Well, his fur started turning a deeper shade of blue around his face. I had to keep from touching his cheek. Much harder than it sounds.
"Kurt, you were looking at him like... like... like Kitty looks at Lance!" His fur became even darker, taking on a purple tinge.
"Well, it's not illegal to look."
"Yes it is. You're taken. By a girl, might I add." I pointed out.
His features contorted into the angriest face I've seen on him. "Well I wouldn't be if he wasn't!" He clapped his hand over his mouth and mumbled. "I really do like Amanda. But Scott's more attractive. Bobby, this may be somewhat of a shock, but I've figured out that I'm bi."
He's bi! He's bi! I could have a chance, he's bi! Bi, bi, bi!
Of course, I kept it completely cool. Ice cold... "Well, this may be a shock, but I'm gay. That's how I caught the look." That and I've been watching him like a hawk.
"You're gay? But I've seen you flirt with Jubes... and Amara..."
"Keeping up appearances man. Just keeping up appearances."
"Is there any way for you to figure out if Scott is... at least bi?" He turned the great big eyes on me. If there's one thing I'm a sucker for, it's the puppy dog look. So... how do I figure this out?
"Not really. The only way for me to get him to... Hey, Kurt, I've got an idea." Sure it'll out me, but what've I got to lose, huh?
"Look, all you've got to do for my plan is dress gay. Or at least metrosexual for a bit..."
"How do I do that?" He already does! Geez... Well, he could...
"Dress like Pietro!"
I hope this works...
12/23/03
Stage I and II are now under way. Kurt's started finally showing off his body (couldn't resist, and hey, it couldn't hurt the cause...) and I've begun the flirting. If Scott bends at all... he'll take the bait.
Started pretty slow, you know, asking his opinion of the obviously gay TV shows, like Will and Grace, or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Well... um... I'd love to say that he immediately said, "Oh my God, they so totally don't represent us gays!"
Needless to say, he simply turned around and said, "You know, I've never caught those. What station are they on?"
"Um... the Food Network?"
So then I decided to watch some movies in the same room as him, and commented on actors. You know, saying stuff like, "He must work out," or "Nice-looking guy, huh, Cyke?"
'Course, Scott never took the bait. He'd just nod, and then go, "Dude! He just took down six orcs with a belt-knife!"
Yeah... The Lord of the Rings. The only film I could think of that had anything slightly resembling a blue and fuzzy elf. Yeah, I could only get one out of three. It was either that or Aladdin. Did you know the Genie has pointed ears?
Not very easy on the eyes, though.
So... nothing. I've even tried stretching up against him, flirting a little. Got as close as I could without actually sitting on him.
Nothing. He didn't even push me off of him.
This guy seriously has some sort of Christmas tree stuck up his ...
You know, I never really approved of swearing.
12/24/03
Jean left for her family, so I figured, what better time for Scott to make an entrance from out of the closet. So I snuck some eggnog out of the "locked cupboard" in the kitchen and made a beeline for Cyclops. He was in the common room with pretty much everyone else who decided to stay home. Well...not really decide, but more like, had no other choice.
So I rush in there and yell, "NOG!!!!"
General stampeding actions ensued. The nog somehow found its way out of my hands and into Sam's hands (of all places. What's that redneck think he's going to do with nog? That's something for a northern boy, like me, to handle)
Weirdly enough, Sam managed to set up a system that worked, but... I still don't know what it is. Maybe he inherited mad organizational skills from his mom. She must deal with stampedes all the time in his household. How many kids are in that little cabin? Ten?
I managed to slip Scott a few cups of nog before he began to lose inhibitions. From there on out, he was getting his own eggnog. Me? Just one sip. Simple as ever. So, once Scott is drunk, I spring the question on Scott.
"Scott, do you like guys?"
He looked at me with this deeply intense look on his face, and a firm mouth. He answered, "I loooove you guysh..." and he swayed forward, passing out.
Holy nuclear reactors, never though Slim'd be that much of a lightweight.
Kurt cornered me just after Scott had passed out on the floor and raised his eyebrows at me. I guess that means, "find anything out?" Well, I didn't, so I just shrugged my shoulders, meaning "I don't know, but I've got a hell of a back ache, wanna fix it?"
Don't think he got the hint, 'cause he just looked dejected. But then I came up with a brilliant idea! A wonderful, brilliant idea!
I ran right out, and into a florist's shop. Thankfully, they had exactly what I needed. Seems a lot of people need to get last-minute supplies... Makes sense...
Man... I'm so tired. I'm going to bed. Merry Christmas!
12/25/03
Whooooot! Christmas!! I got the coolest stuff... like a video game from Jamie and Sam, my parents got me the newest gaming platform, and Jubes got me an ice-cube tray! There's a reason I hang out with her so much, she knows just the perfect gag gift to give all the time. She loved my gift, _Bend it Like Beckham_, and I hope she gets the hint from what turns out with Jes's best guy friend turning out gay.
I've been throwing a lot of hints recently... but so far, no dice.
There was one hint that was gotten! After all the presents were opened, Kurt cornered me almost immediately. For a second, I imagined he was going to kiss me, and wondered if his lips were furry. I got over that fast when he asked if I was ever going to figure out if Scott was gay.
That was when I said, "Corner Scott, then you'll get my Christmas gift."
Somehow, he managed to get Scott alone by the tree, and I stealthily made my way over there with a sprig of my secret weapon. However, I did have to make one stop-over in order to make this look like a joke.
I sprang on Rogue, who was thanking Logan for his gift. He'd gotten her these really nice looking gloves, leather probably. Better than her ratty ones she always wore.
Well, how better to make this a joke? I dangled the mistletoe over Rogue's head and grinned. "You have to kiss her Logan."
"I don't have to anything." By this time, those people standing near us stared at me like I was either an idiot, or started to giggle. Jubes was the loudest of the gigglers.
"Yeah, Logan, it's like, Christmas Law or something," she said. Rogue sighed and indicated that Logan look at her. When he did, she looked at her feet. He got the hint, and gave her a peck on the top of her head, through her hair.
I announced, "My work here is done!" to much cheering and applause and bounded off, receiving a wide berth. No one else wanted to get caught by Bobby and he secret mistletoe weapon!
I searched for Kurt and Scott, but couldn't find them anywhere. Stupid Kurt and his stupid blending into shadows trick. I hunted for something familiar that would hint me to their existence and after about fifteen minutes, finally catch a glint of red behind the tree that I just know isn't an ornament.
I snuck over, in order to keep others from seeing what I was doing, and saw that the two were having a discussion on the Danger Room. Man, that kid can't make a move without help! Or maybe Scott's straight. Oh well, only one way to find out.
I jab the mistletoe in the space between their two heads and say "Christmas Law!"
Kurt looked kind of panicky, and I felt that way too, to be honest. I mean, this is Scott. He'd kick my butt from here to tomorrow if he didn't appreciate it.
But then, Scott shrugged and grabbed Kurt's face and planted one on him. I kind of felt uncomfortable, because the kiss became really intimate. I'm pretty sure they frenched. But I stayed there, like an idiot. I just had to know what was going on.
When they broke apart, Kurt grinned like an idiot, and Scott started to walk away. I grabbed his arm.
"Dude, I've been trying forever to find out if you're gay! Been dropping hints forever!!"
He shrugged and said, "Why didn't you just ask me?"
I was speechless, but in my mind I was going, "Because you just don't ask! It's not done! You figure it out for yourself. Asking is too risky!"
Oh well. We let him leave, and I turned to Kurt. "Merry Christmas."
He smiled at me, his two fangs glinting in the colored lights. "Zat vas a vonderful present! How could I ever return ze favor??"
I shrugged and put the mistletoe above my head.
~~*~~
There we go. Sorry I got it out after Christmas, I just was having the hardest time resolving the stupid dilemma! And I'm not one for writing graphic slash scenes, since I'm really very new at this... Ah well, did you like it? I'm looking forward to more chapters from you, Cypher. Wouldn't mind chapters from the rest of whoever got roped into reading this either.
Please respond, I want to know who'd read my dribble.
Disclaimer: I... don't own anything. Not _Bend it Like Beckham_. I rented that. I rented the song "All I Want for Christmas (is my Two Front Teeth)" because I had no clue what to name this fic. Don't even own the journal format that I decided to write this in. Rented that too. I don't own the plot, (That's Cypher's) and definitely don't own X-men: Evolution or any related characters.
Dedication: I dedicate this to you, Cypher. Yeah, you're the only one who's probably reading this right now, but just in case, everyone else should know this is my Christmas gift to Cypher that I managed to finish just in time.
12/17/03
I've never been quite sure about relationships. I mean, I flirt with Jubes. I flirt a lot with her. She probably thinks I'm going to ask her on a date sometime soon. But really, I just kind of see her as just a friend. I'm not even planning on getting her anything personal for Christmas, maybe a book, or a good CD she's been wanting.
The scary thing is that I do have a crush... but I don't even know if they could possibly like me back. You see, I've been goofing off with Kurt for the longest time, ever since I came here. I think I know him pretty well. He's dating this really nice girl, Amanda. Heck, even I'd date her, and I don't swing that way. At least, I think I don't swing that way. But sometimes, I see Kurt looking at Scott with this look, like he really wouldn't mind dumping Amanda if Scott turned around to him and asked him on a date.
So, yeah. I've got this little crush on Kurt Wagner. He always says, "Chicks dig ze fuzzy dude." What he doesn't quite get yet is that dudes also dig the fuzzy dude. I've even had a chat with Roberto, and he admits that he wouldn't mind getting Kurt stuck in a corner.
Yup, 'Berto and Bobby, the two gay dudes of the institute. We're about as opposite as we can get, and I really don't want to date someone who really... never talks... And he told me that he couldn't stand dating me. But we're still pretty good friends. Maybe the gay thing has something to do with the name Robert?
Nah!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Kurt. How could I forget?
So, here I am crushing on a mostly-straight guy. Those little glances he throws at Scott do give me a tiny bit of hope, though. I've talked it over with 'Berto, and he says I should corner the boy right after another of those "looks". Easy enough, except now I have to catch him giving one of those looks.
12/20/03
Well, I've done it! Finally caught him giving one of those looks to Scott, and dragged him into a corner before he could change his mind.
"Kurt, what's with you and Scott?" I hissed. Yeah. I'm really good at beating around the bush.
"I don't have any idea what you mean, Bobby!"
"You were looking at him!"
"That's normal! He was giving orders!" Well, his fur started turning a deeper shade of blue around his face. I had to keep from touching his cheek. Much harder than it sounds.
"Kurt, you were looking at him like... like... like Kitty looks at Lance!" His fur became even darker, taking on a purple tinge.
"Well, it's not illegal to look."
"Yes it is. You're taken. By a girl, might I add." I pointed out.
His features contorted into the angriest face I've seen on him. "Well I wouldn't be if he wasn't!" He clapped his hand over his mouth and mumbled. "I really do like Amanda. But Scott's more attractive. Bobby, this may be somewhat of a shock, but I've figured out that I'm bi."
He's bi! He's bi! I could have a chance, he's bi! Bi, bi, bi!
Of course, I kept it completely cool. Ice cold... "Well, this may be a shock, but I'm gay. That's how I caught the look." That and I've been watching him like a hawk.
"You're gay? But I've seen you flirt with Jubes... and Amara..."
"Keeping up appearances man. Just keeping up appearances."
"Is there any way for you to figure out if Scott is... at least bi?" He turned the great big eyes on me. If there's one thing I'm a sucker for, it's the puppy dog look. So... how do I figure this out?
"Not really. The only way for me to get him to... Hey, Kurt, I've got an idea." Sure it'll out me, but what've I got to lose, huh?
"Look, all you've got to do for my plan is dress gay. Or at least metrosexual for a bit..."
"How do I do that?" He already does! Geez... Well, he could...
"Dress like Pietro!"
I hope this works...
12/23/03
Stage I and II are now under way. Kurt's started finally showing off his body (couldn't resist, and hey, it couldn't hurt the cause...) and I've begun the flirting. If Scott bends at all... he'll take the bait.
Started pretty slow, you know, asking his opinion of the obviously gay TV shows, like Will and Grace, or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Well... um... I'd love to say that he immediately said, "Oh my God, they so totally don't represent us gays!"
Needless to say, he simply turned around and said, "You know, I've never caught those. What station are they on?"
"Um... the Food Network?"
So then I decided to watch some movies in the same room as him, and commented on actors. You know, saying stuff like, "He must work out," or "Nice-looking guy, huh, Cyke?"
'Course, Scott never took the bait. He'd just nod, and then go, "Dude! He just took down six orcs with a belt-knife!"
Yeah... The Lord of the Rings. The only film I could think of that had anything slightly resembling a blue and fuzzy elf. Yeah, I could only get one out of three. It was either that or Aladdin. Did you know the Genie has pointed ears?
Not very easy on the eyes, though.
So... nothing. I've even tried stretching up against him, flirting a little. Got as close as I could without actually sitting on him.
Nothing. He didn't even push me off of him.
This guy seriously has some sort of Christmas tree stuck up his ...
You know, I never really approved of swearing.
12/24/03
Jean left for her family, so I figured, what better time for Scott to make an entrance from out of the closet. So I snuck some eggnog out of the "locked cupboard" in the kitchen and made a beeline for Cyclops. He was in the common room with pretty much everyone else who decided to stay home. Well...not really decide, but more like, had no other choice.
So I rush in there and yell, "NOG!!!!"
General stampeding actions ensued. The nog somehow found its way out of my hands and into Sam's hands (of all places. What's that redneck think he's going to do with nog? That's something for a northern boy, like me, to handle)
Weirdly enough, Sam managed to set up a system that worked, but... I still don't know what it is. Maybe he inherited mad organizational skills from his mom. She must deal with stampedes all the time in his household. How many kids are in that little cabin? Ten?
I managed to slip Scott a few cups of nog before he began to lose inhibitions. From there on out, he was getting his own eggnog. Me? Just one sip. Simple as ever. So, once Scott is drunk, I spring the question on Scott.
"Scott, do you like guys?"
He looked at me with this deeply intense look on his face, and a firm mouth. He answered, "I loooove you guysh..." and he swayed forward, passing out.
Holy nuclear reactors, never though Slim'd be that much of a lightweight.
Kurt cornered me just after Scott had passed out on the floor and raised his eyebrows at me. I guess that means, "find anything out?" Well, I didn't, so I just shrugged my shoulders, meaning "I don't know, but I've got a hell of a back ache, wanna fix it?"
Don't think he got the hint, 'cause he just looked dejected. But then I came up with a brilliant idea! A wonderful, brilliant idea!
I ran right out, and into a florist's shop. Thankfully, they had exactly what I needed. Seems a lot of people need to get last-minute supplies... Makes sense...
Man... I'm so tired. I'm going to bed. Merry Christmas!
12/25/03
Whooooot! Christmas!! I got the coolest stuff... like a video game from Jamie and Sam, my parents got me the newest gaming platform, and Jubes got me an ice-cube tray! There's a reason I hang out with her so much, she knows just the perfect gag gift to give all the time. She loved my gift, _Bend it Like Beckham_, and I hope she gets the hint from what turns out with Jes's best guy friend turning out gay.
I've been throwing a lot of hints recently... but so far, no dice.
There was one hint that was gotten! After all the presents were opened, Kurt cornered me almost immediately. For a second, I imagined he was going to kiss me, and wondered if his lips were furry. I got over that fast when he asked if I was ever going to figure out if Scott was gay.
That was when I said, "Corner Scott, then you'll get my Christmas gift."
Somehow, he managed to get Scott alone by the tree, and I stealthily made my way over there with a sprig of my secret weapon. However, I did have to make one stop-over in order to make this look like a joke.
I sprang on Rogue, who was thanking Logan for his gift. He'd gotten her these really nice looking gloves, leather probably. Better than her ratty ones she always wore.
Well, how better to make this a joke? I dangled the mistletoe over Rogue's head and grinned. "You have to kiss her Logan."
"I don't have to anything." By this time, those people standing near us stared at me like I was either an idiot, or started to giggle. Jubes was the loudest of the gigglers.
"Yeah, Logan, it's like, Christmas Law or something," she said. Rogue sighed and indicated that Logan look at her. When he did, she looked at her feet. He got the hint, and gave her a peck on the top of her head, through her hair.
I announced, "My work here is done!" to much cheering and applause and bounded off, receiving a wide berth. No one else wanted to get caught by Bobby and he secret mistletoe weapon!
I searched for Kurt and Scott, but couldn't find them anywhere. Stupid Kurt and his stupid blending into shadows trick. I hunted for something familiar that would hint me to their existence and after about fifteen minutes, finally catch a glint of red behind the tree that I just know isn't an ornament.
I snuck over, in order to keep others from seeing what I was doing, and saw that the two were having a discussion on the Danger Room. Man, that kid can't make a move without help! Or maybe Scott's straight. Oh well, only one way to find out.
I jab the mistletoe in the space between their two heads and say "Christmas Law!"
Kurt looked kind of panicky, and I felt that way too, to be honest. I mean, this is Scott. He'd kick my butt from here to tomorrow if he didn't appreciate it.
But then, Scott shrugged and grabbed Kurt's face and planted one on him. I kind of felt uncomfortable, because the kiss became really intimate. I'm pretty sure they frenched. But I stayed there, like an idiot. I just had to know what was going on.
When they broke apart, Kurt grinned like an idiot, and Scott started to walk away. I grabbed his arm.
"Dude, I've been trying forever to find out if you're gay! Been dropping hints forever!!"
He shrugged and said, "Why didn't you just ask me?"
I was speechless, but in my mind I was going, "Because you just don't ask! It's not done! You figure it out for yourself. Asking is too risky!"
Oh well. We let him leave, and I turned to Kurt. "Merry Christmas."
He smiled at me, his two fangs glinting in the colored lights. "Zat vas a vonderful present! How could I ever return ze favor??"
I shrugged and put the mistletoe above my head.
~~*~~
There we go. Sorry I got it out after Christmas, I just was having the hardest time resolving the stupid dilemma! And I'm not one for writing graphic slash scenes, since I'm really very new at this... Ah well, did you like it? I'm looking forward to more chapters from you, Cypher. Wouldn't mind chapters from the rest of whoever got roped into reading this either.
Please respond, I want to know who'd read my dribble.