The SHAM saga continues!
A Previously Untold Story Until Just Now
"Gather around, my children," Sheik said one night, "and I'll tell you a story.
"During Ganondorf's seven-year reign I was aiding the then-Princess Zelda by pretending to work under the King of Evil. Eventually I became a trusted advisor to Ganondorf. It was in the sixth year, I believe, that I witnessed a sight that would change my life.
"I had come to Ganondorf's resting quarters late in the night to plant false information when I heard a very strange noise outside the door. Sounds of lovemaking, children. I thought that was very odd because although he was the King of Evil, I had never seen him take an interest in anyone - not even his other trusted advisor, Nabooru.
"I knew I should have left it alone and gone down to the commons to play cards with the Dinolfos, but my curiosity was so strong I just had to see what was happening. So stealthily I opened the door to his chambers and saw Ganondorf, the King of Evil, with his lover.
"He stood there in the middle of the room and looked down at her hard and shining features gently before pressing her love-button. 'Whrrrrr,' she cried out in ecstacy as she attached herself to her master. And I could see they were very much in love.
"I have never told anyone this story before, and I hope that it will be as life-changing to you, my children, as it was to me." And then he put his arm around the mailbox lovingly.
Two letters shuffled in the wind.
Letter #1 grew up to become a university acceptance letter.
Letter #2 grew up to be my credit card bill.