"Oh Katniss, you're so beautiful. I love so much that I would just die if you were to die." said Peeta.
"Peeta, I love you too. That's why we're getting a puppy. Also, I'm pregnant. It's twins." Said Katniss.
"I'm so sorry Katniss… I have brain tumor. I won't live to see our kids born."
The TV blared to life. On it, President Snow appeared. "I agree Peeta." He said. "You certainly won't live to see your kids born. That's because you two are going into the Hunger Games again!"
"No! Peeta!" Haymitch cried. "You were just beginning to help me end my alcoholism!"
"Because I may only have a couple of days left… I'm gay. Gale, I have always loved you." Peeta wept.
"Yes! Katniss is single again!" shouted Gale.
A man stumbled into the house, covered in coal dust. Katniss looked at the man, then gasped. "Dad?" she said, in shock.
"Hello honey." The man said, looking at Katniss and Prim. "I'm home."
Katniss' mom looked to the man, trembling, and told him the truth she had hidden so many years. "They're not yours. They're the baker's."
"Oh my God! Rosie's hung herself!" cried Gale.
"Who the hell's Rosie?" asked Finnick, eating a sugar cube.
Peeta and Gale had some kinky BDSM sex.
"The rebellion's started! Look outside, the people are fighting the government!" Johanna pointed toward a wave of people rushing toward the troops firing on them. Suddenly, an incendiary bomb dropped on them, and they all burned to a crisp. "Never mind." She grumbled.
"Guys, I need psychiatric help. I have PTSD." Said Annie, crying.
"Join the club." Said Enobaria.
Finnick's eyes happened to settle on Annie, and he instantly fell in love.
A small ball attached to a parachute drifted in through the window. Prim, interested walked to it and grabbed it. "No Prim don't touch that!" Gale cried. The ball exploded, incinerating Prim.
"You killed my sister you bastard!" yelled Katniss as she shot Gale with an automatic weapon.
"Hey, I see his liver looks nice and healthy. Do you think I could grab that real quick?" Asked Haymitch, who had been looking for a donor.
"Over my dead body!" Shouted Gale, springing up before dying immediately afterward.
"Oh my God! I just won the lottery!" Yelled Johanna. "Yee-haw, I'm a millionaire!"
"There's no place like home." Annie talked to herself, clicking her heels.
"I have a great idea everybody. I call it the Personal Computer." Said Beetee, fiddling with wires.
Gale's body began to twitch. "Brains…" It muttered.
"Get out!" The entire house seemed to yell, before it sucked Peeta into a TV.
"I can talk Mein Fuhrer!" yelled Mags while she hitler saluted.