My thoughts pour over my lap as I reach into the depths of my heart.
I'm looking for the reason I sit here in the cold attic of my house.
Alone.
My heart hurts as I pull out all of these memories.
Rejection.
Hatred.
Being disregarded.
I'm unnoticed.
Ignored.
Overlooked.
Why such pressure?
What is wrong with me?
I see myself saying 'No'.
I see people walking away.
I see people talking and snickering about me behind my back.
I look upward as another tear rolls slowly down my cheek.
God.
Why? Why is it so hard to be your servant?
God whispers in my heart
Even though it's hard,
I still love you.
I lay down in the floor of the attic.
And imagine myself in his lap, his loved child.
I soon forget all my troubles as I sleep in my daddy's lap.
By meg