Felan: good morning people of the internet that are awake for some bizarre reason, unless you live in Europe, its evening time there. Due to the fact that I am a horrible person and have neglected to update any of my stories, you may have this crappy excuse for a slash one-shot instead. And this time, I brought a friend.
Lucy: hello people! I am here :P
Felan: my sleep deprived friend Lucy, as you can see, is here. She will be helping write this so… enjoy.
Sleep deprived and we think of Lokilas:
The romantic feeling in the air was as romantic as a swan barfing rainbows on a candle covered moonlit river in San Diego on a warm winter's night surrounded by dry humping dwarfs. That is to say, very very VERY romantic (because everybody knows that when dwarves love each other enough to keep their clothes on, that's pretty fucking romantic). It was as if the entire world wanted the two incredibly hot men sitting on the couch to strip completely naked and furiously fornicate as every girl reading this suddenly had a severe nosebleed.
THE SCENE BETWEEN THE SUPER HOT LOKI AND THE ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL LEGOLAS… (Lucy: Felan, turn off the caps lock!) The scene between the super hot Loki and the always beautiful Legolas was surreal, like someone was looking at it through a fish tank filled with the pretty rainbow fish, like the one that gave all his scales to the other fish so they wouldn't feel bad about how ugly they were. They were kissing passionately, like they were trying to eat each others faces.
"Loki, are you using tongue?" A very short girl with brown hair and green skin, everything other than her hair was green, maybe because she was a leprechaun, but it also might be because she's seasick. "What does he smell like Leggy, I bet he smells like kittens and sunshine." A slightly tall elf-girl with black hair to her waist and proudly sporting a Legolas t-shirt had mysteriously risen from a patch of four leaf clovers that were growing in the middle of the room for some reason. The two girls then began to have a spirited debate over weather Loki smelled more like kittens or sunshine.
"Lucy, Felan… get out." Trying to be polite, Legolas grabbed the two jabbering girls by he backs of their Loki and Legolas t-shirts and attempted to throw them out the nearest window. As he tried to release their shirts, the two girl's feet lifted into the air, followed by the rest of their bodies, as they fell backwards onto the blonde elf, kind of like a McLegoWolf sandwich. "No such luck my darling beauty," said the leprechaun, Lucy, "we are here to see whether or not you two are going to have godly-elf babies, and who the mother would be."
Loki answers, after kissing the very tip of Legolas pointy elf ears, "the beautiful one, of course." Legolas tried to hide a blush, but before he could respond Clint walked in, followed by an extremely irritated Natasha. "I want to talk to Legolas about archery!" Natasha attempted to drag him off by the ear, but his shoes had been suddenly super-glued to the floor, most likely by the black-haired elf throwing away an empty bottle of superglue. "Legolas has no time for your silly questions, birdman, and as long as you're stuck there, please enjoy the delightful flavors that are provided by this brick I found in a sewer." Felan lobbed the brick in his general direction, missing Clint, but nailing Bruce just as he left the elevator.
Lucy eyed his limp body, "wasn't he supposed to interrupt too?" Felan nudged the brick with her foot, wishing she'd hit Clint instead, "never mind, we can worry about him later; besides, Steve will be here in a minute or so." At that precise moment, the elevator opened again, but no one stepped out.
"Well, if that's settled, I believe I was in the middle of making out with the elven love of my life." Loki was now shirtless, he hadn't removed his shirt, it had just kinda ceased to exist. Legolas shirt was gone as well. "Legolas, my love, has your clothing ceased to exist as well?" The elf in question looked over in terror, as if a crazed force had traumatized him for the rest of all eternity. "No, Felan took it, she's over in the corner smelling it.
All eyes turned to the corner, where the elven author was indeed attempting to inhale what had once been Legolas' shirt. The green skinned face of Lucy popped out of the neck, and in a deep voice she announced "I'm Batman." A face covered by a bat shaped cowl emerged from the left sleeve and stated in an equally deep voice, "no… I'm Batman." The green leprechaun grabbed the nearby leg of the recently crashed Ironman, and proceeded to dive into the left sleeve, the sounds of a struggle could be heard within, two deep voices constantly repeating the phrase, "no, I'm batman."
The elf and the god turned back to each other, trying to kiss some more, but Thor decided to fly through the window, and place himself so that the two lovers ended up kissing opposite sides of Mjolnir. Loudly he exclaimed, "I wish to be this… man of bats!" He himself dived into the right sleeve of the seemingly endless shirt, and joined the fray for the position of Batman.
Legolas and Loki had now decided that dbncdcbhjhgbvvbkbjhbhjbjhbjhjbhcndcnvhjvu32ot78y4gf (Felan: FINE!)
Loki and Legolas had now decided that this entire affair was completely pointless, and proceeded into the kitchen of stark tower, where they were then married by Spock. Felan continued to sniff what was now her shirt, Lucy had beat the snot out of her fellow competitors and earned the title "Man of the Bats". She proceeded to dance around the room spreading rainbows and romance magic.
The two newly weds were sitting on the couch, deciding to ignore the watching people, the shared many passionate kisses. Nat and Clint went out on a date, even though Clint was still super glued to the floor. Tony and Bruce were on the floor, unconscious from freak flying ostrich accidents and a flavorful sewer brick to the head, respectively. At last a voice could be heard in the corner, the voice was none other than Captain Rogers, and what he said could only be expected, "I wanted to be Batman."
Felan: I figured that since I'm home from the Lock-in that had me and my friend writing this at 6am, I might as well publish it, it does not continue, this is all there is, and it is the perfect example of what happens when two hyper and sleep deprived girls watch Marvel movies after a night of playing at Incredible Pizza. Some was written by her, some by me, I hope you enjoyed our randomness, please review so I can gain the knowledge. Felan out!