I know my poetry is a bit rusty, but I thought I'd give this a shot anyway. I hope you enjoy it, or at least don't hate it. I'm not great at poetry unless it sound's like Dr. Seuss.
What would you do if you were Stephanie Plum?
What would you do if you were Stephanie Plum?
Would you carry a donut? Would you carry a gun?
Could you walk in her shoes as easy as can be?
Or stumble and slip because you wear size thirteen.
Could you keep up with Ranger while out on a call?
Could you survive her family without killing them all?
What about Joe and his Italian physique?
Is he too hot for you or just right, so to speak?
How about Lula, and Connie and Vinnie?
Those people you work with are people as any.
Then there are the skips, you can't forget them.
Most all want to kill you, or beat you up bad.
You're always in some sort of dangerous trouble.
But Ranger and Joe are there on the double.
Saving you like in those classic old films,
where the guy saves the girl from some man we'll call Will.
The difference with Plum is it's not quite the same.
Usually garbage and car bombs are played.
Because being a bounty hunter's not always sweet.
Unless they throw pastries at you in the street.
But no, it's a down right dirty old job.
That someone must do, with help from dog Bob.
These are the questions you should ask yourself.
Like looking at labels of products on shelves.
Knowing the story and lives it involves,
could let you understand how Trenton revolves.
It's not just a city, with buildings and things.
But a life of its own, and its noises, they sing.
So if you should find yourself trading the place,
of that Stephanie Plum in the whole human race.
You just should remember, this one little rule,
that donuts are breakfast, and batman is cool.