Dirty Sunshine

A/N: Yes, this is named after the song which I was listening to in huge quantities when this was written. So…enjoy!

She wakes up, her eyes adjusting to the weak filtered light of his cottage, she feels dirty just like every time, used. Like a whore, the whore that she is, everyone knows what she is. He doesn't love her, he just uses her…sometime he bites her when they make love, she hates it most then. Blood mixed with passion soaking the sheets; it wasn't supposed to be like this, she thinks, I didn't want to be like this.

She slips out of bed, a cream colored sheet wrapped around her slim body, feeling cool against her flushed skin. He grabs her arm, startling her, she thought he was asleep, but he's been watching her this whole time. "What do you want?" her voice wavers and she looks uncertainly at him.

A smile curls his lips, "Just you, it's always been you" he says softy, caressing her neck and catching a stray droplet of blood running down her ivory skin. His eyes never leaving hers he brings his finger to his lips and licks the droplet of blood off slowly and sensuously. She has an urge to get back in bed again, have him in her again. He's so beautiful when he's like this, not primal and animalistic, just soft and human.

He kisses a trail up her arm, gently guiding her back into bed. "Now the question is" he says, "Do you want me?" she closes her eyes then and yields to him. "Yes," she whispers melting into his arms and molding her body against his, "Oh yes"

"Wake up" she felt rough hands grasp her shoulders and shake her, but she didn't want to open her eyes, not yet. Why couldn't she just sleep more? Everyone was always telling her what to do, what about what she wanted. Miss Edith told her she should stand up to them all, and she should.

Drusilla opened her eyes slowly, "I should" she said aloud, still savoring the image in her head, her dream that wasn't a dream at all, but a distant memory of a time long ago, when she was human…when she was with Angelus…it was pain and sacrifice, but also sweet, a lovely sweetness like the taste of blood in ones mouth, sweet with a hint of copper.

The platinum haired vampire sitting next to her shakes his head, "I won't even pretend to know what you're talking about" he says.

Drusilla frowned, Spike was cross with her, her Spike, but he wasn't hers anymore was he? Drusilla glared at Miss Edith, don't say those things, she said, it's not your place. Drusilla crossed her arms and pouted, "It's your fault" said plainly.

Spiked head snapped up and he looked at her, "What are you babbling about, luv?" he asked, plainly not really caring but feeling the need to ask anyway.

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Miss Edith" Drusilla replied, "She thinks that you don't love me, that you love the little blonde haired girl, the slayer. Miss Edith lies, doesn't she?" Drusilla asked, her brown eyes large and solemn, child-like, searching for an answer in Spike's ocean blue ones.

"Go back to sleep Dru" Spike said, standing up and starting to pace.

So she was right, I shouldn't have doubted Miss Edith, she knows, she sees what I don't.

"You love her, don't you?" Drusilla asked and shook her head, suddenly full of pity, for her William, for the slayer girl.  "The moon doesn't taunt her, she doesn't have conversations with the stars, she might be sane, but she's all alone, what an incredibly sad existence…so lonely. Maybe she needs you, take care of her, bring her here. Sire her William, I could use a friend beside Miss Edith with her painted smile and suspicious eyes" Drusilla said, getting out of the bed and walked over the Spike, laying her head on his shoulder. "We could be strong again, we could bleed Sunnydale dry if we tried…just like in the old days" she said dreamily.

Spike resisted an urge to shove her away, push her to the ground, hit her, slap her back into sanity, to punish her. Yes, he was in love with the slayer and he hated himself all the more for it, but he could have a conversation with her…he didn't, they just shagged mostly, but she was sane, she was whole, she didn't cling to him like a needy child. She'd punch him, curse him after they screwed, but she was strong, she had an inner flame that matched his. If he slapped Dru, she'd just fall to the floor like a wilted flower, she never was one to fight back.

"I'm going out" he told her, stepping out of her grasp.

"Bring me back something?" Drusilla asked, hopeful. "Bring me someone to eat?"

"Get out of the bloody crypt and get someone to eat yourself!" Spike growled, "You would have died a long time ago, starved if I hadn't taken care of you. I know you're sane, I know you're in there somewhere, but damn it Dru, why wouldn't you let me see that person? Do you want me to love you or hate you?" he left the question hanging in the air as he left the crypt, walking out into the cool night air and never looking back.

Drusilla sunk to the ground and cradled Miss Edith in her arms, "He doesn't mean it" she whispered, "He's just cross over something or another, he'll comeback to us Miss Edith, he always does."

What if he doesn't? He's tried of you Dru, he wants the slayer, she's good, a good pure light that you'll never be!

Drusilla glared down at Miss Edith, hating her for her taunting. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" she cried shrilly, throwing Miss Edith across the room. The doll landed in a heap on the floor and Dru heard the sickening crack of porcelain.

"M-miss Edith?" Dru called out softly.

Silence

"Miss Edith? I'm sorry" she said, walking over to the doll's crumpled form and picking her up, seeing  the crack cross the dolls porcelain face, it almost shattered in two.

"I'm so sorry Miss Edith" Drusilla whispered, hugging the broken doll close to her, patting down the doll's tangled blonde hair. Drusilla whimpered as she noticed Miss Edith's chipped arm. Dru hugged her tighter. "Shh, don't cry Miss Edith, it's okay, mummy's here" she comforted her doll and looked around, wishing Spike hadn't left, or Daddy or Grandmum, but they left a long time ago. She was all alone.

Dru stood up numbly still clutching Miss Edith and walked in a haze out of Spike's lair, out into the night. "We must find William" she told her doll, "He'll make everything okay again, he will, he always does"

Her brown eyes scanned the darkness for her beloved Spike, but everything was silent. She didn't know where he could be. Probably at the little blonde girls house, but she hadn't paid much attention whenever Spike had taken her somewhere, she didn't want to get lost and didn't know where her beloved was anyway.

Dru sat down on the grass and started methodically petting Miss Edith again; she closed her eyes and listened to the stars, hoping they'd tell her what to do. But even they didn't speak to her…everything was silent here, there were no sounds at all, as if the entire world was on pause and it was only Drusilla moving about.

Dru started humming to herself to cover the silence that deafened her ears, she looked around, sensing something…but not quite sure what it was…something. Hopefully a human, she needed to feed and she also hadn't has someone to play with in such a very long time. She and Spike used to play together, such amusing little games they'd make up, but it was all different now. Her Spike was gone and it seemed as if Miss Edith was fading from her too. Everything Drusilla touched withered and died. "Just like my daises" she said aloud, "Everything I touch turns to ash"

A/N: Review!!