What was his name ?
Name... Of course, he had one. Before, he knew it.
Before.
Before she asked him.
-What's your name ?
Blank. Emptiness.
His name ? His first name ? His age ? His address ? His job ?
He understood her words.
He was able to think.
He could name all around him.
-Don't worry, Mr... er... don't worry.
And she left. « Don't worry! ». Of course, he worried !
He lay still. He couldn't move his hands. He was in an hospital? The woman was a nurse. Facts. Obvious facts. Her name was Sally. He had read it on her badge. At least, he could read.
-You're awake ! How do you feel... ?
A smiling man, now. A doctor ? White coat ? How did he feel ? That he could say : dizzy, confused, lost, frightened, terrified...
-Fffine, I think.
Coward, he thought.
-That's good.
The man fussed around him. He nodded, muttered... He looked pleased. But he didn't ask about his name. Everything seemed to point to the fact that he was fine, really. But the doctor didn't ask him his name. Because... he knew it ?
An old nightmare : you have an accident. Somewhere. You wake up, and you don't remember anything about you, your life. There are people around you, and they don't know you, either. They can't tell you. They can't help you. Terrifying. The worst... ?
No. What he was experiencing was worse. Something happened. He didn't know what? He didn't remember anything about his own life, his name... But people around him... knew. They knew and they didn't tell.
-Do you need anything... ?
A gap, again. One or two seconds. A name he knew. A name he didn't tell. What I need ? My name, blockhead ! My address... Where are we ? What happened to me ?
-No, thank you...
Coward, he thought.
The man smiled reassuringly. Sadistically. You know who I am. You know that I don't know. You don't tell me anything. Why ?
He felt exhausted and closed his eyes. Restless, however. He was dozing. Ore or less. He could hear the door, footsteps, although people walked on tiptoe. They talked. They whispered, but he could pick up some words. A frustration jigsaw. Now... name...memories...too much... care... prudence... shock... old man...
Old ? He wasn't that old ! He wasn't at his best, but he wasn't old ! The distant sounds even softened. He was falling asleep.
-No ! No, you can't ! NO !
He startled. A sheer pandemonium outside the bedroom. No more whispering voices. Rumble. Tornado. Hurricane. Danger ? No. That was... rescue ?
The door flew open, and was slammed shut. He forced himself to keep his eyes closed. Someone was muttering words he didn't understand. A kind of familiar voice. A meaningful tone. Someone was freeing him from his bonds. Someone was now grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up.
-Open your eyes. Now. You don't fool me. You are awake. Open your eyes.
He understood the words. A harsh voice. He had no choice.
Two ice blue eyes stared at him. The voice had been harsh, urging. The gaze was concerned. Hopeful. Faithful. He knew this face. A hand brushed his cheek. The young man was smiling. He was dishevelled. His blond hair... The hand slid down under his chin.
-Do you know me ?
He studied the question. A light began to penetrate his mind
Rumble outside, again. But his partner didn't pay attention. His partner ? And he knew. The man's name. His own name. Where he was. Why he was there... All.
-Yes, I do, tovarisch.