Author's Note: Hey there Everyone. I'm trying something a little new for me. Writing first person for Josh Richter... Yeah, something I never imagined myself doing, but granted, I never imagined myself actually writing any Princess Diaries fanfics or liking the series as much as I know do.
I just a note to all, I am writing Josh more like how I personally knew boys from my High School days, so if he seems a bit OOC at times, please forgive me, but I'm just trying to give him some more depth and sort of take him out of the sterotype that I can keep reading him as. But in saying that, I promise he will still be the jerk that he was in the series, I'm just giving him possibly a few more brain cells and making him even more of a manipulative bastard than he is portrayed in the books.

Anyway, Please enjoy and let me know what you all think.

Chapter One

Well, that was flipping hilarious! Lana just got coned! And by some freakishly tall freshman kid too! Absolutely hilarious!

As was the sight of Lana stuttering away like an idiot. I know that she is my girlfriend and everything, but… the look on her face!

"You-you…you-you… look what you've done! Look what you've done to my sweater! (1)" and everybody in the Caff was. Looking at her sweater, I mean. They were also looking at the girl who had done it, shoved the Nutty Royal into Lana's chest, I mean.

I looked over the kid; she was pretty standard in looks, except that she was freakishly tall for a freshman, with hair that seemed to just want to stick out everywhere from her multiply shaded yellow head. No, seriously, she had like nearly every shade of yellow there is going on there on the top of her head.

She, the freakishly tall freshman, come to think of it, I think I've seen her somewhere before, looked shocked, like she couldn't quite believe what she had just done but then she wasn't alone with that thought. I don't think anyone else was quite believing what they had just seen done either. They were looking between the two of them like they were a tennis match or something.

The freakishly tall kid then seemed to regain some composure, composure that Lana was still clearly lacking for she was still shrieking her head off about her sweater, turned to the girl beside her, who, I'm guessing she was defending from Lana, saying to her in this cool, but sort high-pitch voice "Come on Tina. Let's go somewhere a little bit quieter." And then the two girls' just left, just like that, with the short girl's - what was her name? Tana? Tinana? Tina? - bodyguard following them. He looked like he was trying real hard not to crack up laughing. And he only seemed to have a harder time not doing so when some idiot on the other side of the Caff started to clap and before you know it the whole bloody Caff had just exploded with this huge round of applause for what the freakishly tall kid had done to my, my, Josh Richter girlfriend.

Ok, so maybe this wasn't so funny after all.

I started shooting my mates and their girlfriends warning looks, telling them with my eyes that if they so much as chuckled about this again, they'd be pretty much dead to me. They seemed to all get the hint and shut up.

I looked back to Lana, who was sobbing and looking humiliated and let out this long suffering sigh. I mean, seriously the girl is such a wuss! Its ice cream for Pete's sake, not acid or whatever. And its just a sweater! Just get over it already.

Of course, I didn't say that to her. I wasn't in the mood for another fight with Lana, because fighting with Lana usually means that when we get back together she is even clingier than before. It best, I have found, to just go with what she wants while the going is still good.

Plus, even though I know I can get any girl that I want, I'm not in the mood to go through the whole hassle of getting a new girlfriend, when my old one, Lana, knows exactly how I like things. It makes sense to just keep her even after an incident like this one.

Anyway, the image of the freakishly tall kid shoving that ice cream into Lana really was a free source of entertainment. I was still fighting to keep my own laughter in check all through Study Hall and as I made my way to Trig with my mates, all over whom, though keeping in mind of my threat at lunch, were all commenting on what a little freak the freshman girl was.

"What do you mean by little?" Bryan snorted as we walked into Trig ignoring the annoyed look that was shot our way by Mr. Patterson.

Seriously, that guy needs to chill! He should know by now that Bryan can't be quiet to safe his life, "The kid is a flipping giant. She is like, what? Five foot nine or something?"

"I don't think he was talking about her height." Matt chortled, shoving past one of the few guys in the year that actually does any work in this class.

I mean, I do the work and I pass with pretty high marks in all my classes, but that guy, that guy, he's top of every class that he is in and I should know because I'm basically stuck with the nerd all day and I am always behind him and this girl who is trying to clone fruit flies in her bedroom, the freak. But she's only beating me in Chem and Bio though. That guy on the other hand is just smashing me in everything.

The only thing I'm better at than him is sport, but even that, I'm not hundred and one percent sure about. He's in my Gym class and though he doesn't do much, he always has this look of wanting to be anywhere else but there, he's fast when he wants to be and he's strong too.

"Is it just me or do freshman's seem to be getting flatter in the chest department with every year?" Matt said and Bryn laughed. I just rolled my eyes at the pair of them because I know better. Heck I'm going out with a freshman and she definitely has something going on in the chest department, more than I can say for these two idiots' girlfriends and they're in our year.

"I think she's just a special case." I snorted at them. Out of the corner of my eye as I said this, I saw a pair of extremely brown eyes scowling at me from under a mass of messy brown hair, but I ignored him.

If he had a problem with what I was saying he should bring it up, like a man, instead spending all his time obliterating me in class.

Seriously the guy is a machine! He never stops, even when fruit fly girl is trying (and failing) to flirt with him, which is disgusting because she is trying so hard and this guy just doesn't seem to get it.

Maybe he's gay or something.

Sure would explain a lot, like the fact that he's never been seen with a girlfriend before.

How do you go for four years without going out with someone, seriously? He's probably still a virgin just waiting for that someone special.

It's laughable, really. Michael Moscovitz who thinks that he is so much better than the rest of us, just because he has the IQ of Einstein or something, has probably never even gotten to second base before!

"So what are you going to do?" Matt asked as Patterson started to drone on about something or other.

"About what?" I asked back, already bored.

"About what the freshman freak did to your girlfriend? I mean, it was funny and everything, I mean…" Matt started to stutter a little at my glare. "I mean it wasn't. Funny, that is. Are you going to make her pay or something. The freshman? Are you going to make her sorry for making your girlfriend the laughing stock of the Caff?" Out of the comer of my eye I noted from where he sat, that Moscovitz wasn't writing any notes. His head was down but his pen wasn't moving or anything, and his head was sort tilted in our direction.

I snorted, what was with this guy? Seriously? Never picked him for the eavesdropping type.

"Dude?"

I shrugged getting back to the matter at hand. "Nothing. Lana will go to Gupta and that's that. She's probably get suspended anyway. Why get myself into trouble over something like this when the kid is probably going get a week's detention or a suspension anyway. Seriously it's not worth my time." I glanced back at Moscovitz and saw that he had started writing and that his head was no longer tilted in our direction. Maybe he hadn't been eavesdropping but I doubted it. He had been listening for some bizarre reason and had stopped listening just as suddenly.

That guy is seriously weird. Must have something to do with having psychoanalysts for parents or something.

The texted used in this chapter came from pages 129 from the Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.