Repressed Emotions
I was never good enough,
I was never strong enough,
Even through all my fears and pains,
I continued to try,
I struggled to be the best,
But it was never good enough,
Everything I did was a mistake,
Everyone said I was worthless,
That I would never amount to anything,
That I was the scum of the earth,
Those words are burned into my memory,
Even though everyone has left and are gone,
I can still here their voices,
Repeating these words,
But I never did defend myself,
So now I hold all my emotions in,
I don't fight back,
I take these pains,
And I try to hide these feeling,
These feelings of pain and suffering,
There is no need to awaken anymore,
My dreams have been taken,
And have been tossed aside,
I am lost in illusion,
I try to conceal these emotions,
I won't let anyone see my pains,
I won't let anyone see my black heart that has been broken in two,
The love that I have lost,
I don't care anymore,
I don't care about the people around,
The ones that say they are my friends,
All lies,
They all think the same,
I am nothing to them,
If I don't care for them,
Why should they care for me?
This is there thinking,
But maybe I just don't know how to care,
For I was never cared for myself,
I was told to lock it all away,
I was weak if I didn't do this,
I don't know if this is true or not,
But until proven other wise,
I will continue to hide what I feel inside,
I will lock away all that I want to let out,
And I will close my heart to the world,
I won't let anyone hurt me,
No one will ever come close to me,
Again.